I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and so upset with everything

N

Natassia

Well-Known Member
Joined
27 January 2008
Messages
623
Visit site
I've had my horse 6 months this Sunday, and its fair to say that he's testing the boundaries. Nobody at my yard rides on any other day apart from Saturday (for no real reason, I work as well!) and my horse is on a fittening regime, we don't have a proper school so I hack him out 5/6 days a week, mostly on my own. He naturally prefers to hack in company and so do I, and he has started to get quite nappy and naughty. He's not great in traffic but he is improving, we have to do some roadwork. The hacking isn't great, mainly the same routes and he's getting bored, which obviously doesn't help the napping. I'm trying so hard to be firm with him but he's getting worse. He's 7 but I don't think he's done that much hacking in previous homes, he was an eventer so would have done more schooling, he's v good in the school when I've had a lesson or hired one, which I do as much as I can afford to.
Last Thursday (out hacking alone) he threw me off and I badly injured my back. I rode him again on the Saturday in an empty field and he was quite good and responsive, and I schooled him on Wednesday and he was brilliant. But I don't want to hack him on my own again yet, I don't think that would be sensible. I haven't lost my confidence exactly, but I want to hack out in company more to build up both his confidence and my confidence again. I feel so lonely at my yard, I'm not riding as much as I was because I don't want to go out on my own and nobody else rides much, and I feel like I'm letting my horse down and that I need to pull myself together. He's only been ridden twice in a week and that isn't enough for him.
I'm in the process of moving yards and have given my notice, am looking at others but in my area (London/Surrey) a decent yard which offers DIY at a reasonable price is v difficult to find. I'm arguing with ppl at my yard, its like now they know I'm going, and I didn't intend for everyone to know so quickly, they're telling me what they really think of me, like I'm a brat when I don't get my own way etc, which isn't true. I'm still friends with some of them and hopefully it will blow over but its horrible and so lonely.
Sorry for going on and on and thanks for reading, I just want to enjoy my horse and progress but nobody seems to understand that, which is why I'm getting out of there asap.
 
Poor you.... just when you need help and support
frown.gif
frown.gif


Do you have no friends locally that you could meet up with....

Where are you looking to move to??
 
Thanks for replying, looking back at what I said I do sound like a spoilt brat, I know other ppl on here have bigger problems with ther horses but this is really getting to me.
Today I got to the yard just before 6 and nobody talked to me, within 10 mins they had all gone home. Its so childish, and only because I politely asked them not to bring my horse in if they thought I was late, because I would always be down at a reasonable time. They constantly make me feel like I'm not looking after my horse properly when I know I am. They bring him in and don't give him a feed or anything, so he's all stroppy, I'd rather he was in the field on his own for 1/2 hour and he has the mares across the fence. But when I tell them politely I'm suddenly a spoilt brat who can't get her own way all the time, and I'm on a DIY yard!! Its way too collective, theres no proper rules so everyone makes them up and nobody can go against these 'unwritten' rules.
I do have friends nearby and theres a lovely sharer who I hack out with, but due to conflicting work schecules etc its difficult to organise sometimes.
I live in SW London, near Surrey and am looking to move to somewhere near Esher/Claygate/Chessington, but have been looking as far as Cobham and Epsom as well.
 
If your on diy its because you want and like looking after your own horse.If you dont want him bringing in early thats your choice.Dont let them control your choices .Stick to your guns and dont be bullied.Im on diy and we only ever bring in other peoples horses if we are asked or someone sends a text .They are probably feeling put out because you are moving and dont like to think its because you are unhappy on their yard.
 
I have my horse at a really freindly diy yard in cobham surrey,great hacking,always someone to ride out with,not expensive,really nice owners,so if you are anywhere near that area you should pop in and ask to be shown around
smile.gif
 
My yard still has spaces Natassia, or just PM again if you want some more yard suggestions. Dont let other people get you down about your horse though, thats not fair on you x
 
Natassia - PM ParkRanger as she has been at about every yard in that area so will be able to point you in the right direction
smile.gif

You don't sound like a brat and I think we all feel as though we are stuck in a rut sometimes, it's just that bitchy yards compound the problem!
 
I totally sympathise with you! I moved after I had K a month from my 1st yard because I hated it.

Now I am at a much better yard where I can get on & do things the way I want to. I have met some brilliant people, 1 in particular who has helped me and encouraged me so much I have started going to dressage & jumping clinics which I never thought I would do.

If there is the option of just paying any extra & leaving asap, I would. It is awful that you are made to feel bad just because you want to do something with your horse - I will bet they are jealous of you because they don't aspire that high. I don't think you sound bratty at all, just unhappy
frown.gif


good luck & let us know how you get on.
 
The only thing i would say about stables in claygate,esher,chessington is that you have to do quite a bit of road work before you get on to one of the commons unless you are at arbrook farm which is on the common,where as in ockham which is in cobham the road work is less about 5 mins from our yard onto ockham common and wisley and 20 mins bookham
 
Its a little way out but i know of a great yard in Chertsey just off the M25 j11 - hacking on the farm and off - massive school really friendly people - always someone available to help. PM if you need more details - I had to leave because my boy is poorly and is now living at my friends whose helping me to look after him but i loved it there! People definately ride more than once a week!!

If your on DIY don't let anyone bully you about how you look after your horse - we choose DIY because we want to do it ourselves!

Good luck...
 
Oh Natassia, what a pity you don't live near me (South Lincs) as I am in exactly the same boat as you and I LONG to have someone to hack out with. My boy doesn't relish hacking alone, he will do it but it can be quite hard work so I tend to hack out with others but like you I have to wait around for someone to ride out with. The people at my yard hardly ride at all, they just stand around drinking coffee and smoking and chatting every night and meanwhile the sun's shining and I'm dying to go out for a hack. I keep hoping someone new is going to come to the yard who actually rides their horse. Not helping your situation I know but I do sympathise.
 
I too live in London so I totally understand what you mean by finding a decent yard nearby that still has spaces!
I hope all goes well for you as for what you want to do with your horse you definitely need a yard with like-minded people.
smile.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top