I have 0 right to say this but...

[Tiddlypom]

That being said, I think it is a very dangerous thing to use a public forum as your 'safe place'. It is a public forum, never will be a safe place as it is full of strangers. There is no entry requirement, no safeguarding training, no policing for political correctness. There is a set of guidelines to ensure the forum stays within the law, but no active policing to ensure it is a 'safe place' for a minor. I suspect that is why it needs an adult's permission before posting anything.

Well put, Red-1.

Some threads get quite heated on here, and I don’t feel that adult posters should have to be looking over their shoulders in case they inadvertently upset minors who are on the forum.

We’ve had a few minors on here, and I think people have been pretty welcoming to them. But to be expected to police what we post so that a minor can have this as a safe space is a bit of an ask. The minor should just not engage with threads that they do not care for, like the rest of us.

 

[cauda equina]

WRT the original ad - people were ragging on a badly-fitted noseband, but without exception (I think) said that the horse looked a sweet, honest sort
As far as things on the internet go that's pretty benign really

 

[Winters100]

OP you have every right to express your views on this. I do think however that you need to remember that no group can be all things to all people. Most on this forum would probably view it as somewhere to obtain advice, but also to discuss what are sometimes controversial issues. As such, and especially considering that the topics are things that people feel strongly about, there will be disagreement, and sometimes it will be expressed strongly. We do not know each other and therefore such comments should never be taken personally, when someone disagrees with me here it is my view that they object to, not me as a person, and there have been several times where a well reasoned argument has caused me to change my original beliefs, or indeed to realise that I have expressed them too strongly.

Red makes a very good point in saying that a bunch of strangers on the internet is not a good choice as a 'safe space'. You said that reading some comments makes you 'unhappy', which makes me feel that perhaps you are too involved in what you read here. Maybe you could discuss this with your parents, because if what a bunch of adults write in a forum upsets you they may be able to advise you what to do about it.

Finally remember that this is not 'real life'. If a thread makes you uncomfortable you can just close it and read something that you find more to your liking. Maybe try to take a bit of a lighter view of what you read, because the reality is that if you met the people on this forum you would like some and avoid others, so really there is no reason to be upset by what anyone writes.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

OP, I think you need to discuss your use of the internet with your parents and/or teachers very soon.
The internet is NOT a 'safe space' for anyone, least of all minors, at any time and to look on a forum full of adults with such a wide range of experiences and opinions as HHO, where most people are completely anonymous, as such is a mistake. Hopefully not the kind of mistake which could cause you serious problems in RL but that is something to be conscious of. I hope that your parents monitor closely your use of the internet and are aware of what you are posting/reading.

The trouble is that if you think that the comments on the advert thread were harsh in any way, especially about the first bay horse, you give away your inexperience and naivety and therefore lay yourself open to being contacted by someone with ill intentions (known as 'grooming'). I would have hoped that you would have been taught internet safety from the first moment that you were allowed to use it. I think that is a safeguarding issue in itself, tbh.

 

[ownedbyaconnie]

The trouble is that if you think that the comments on the advert thread were harsh in any way, especially about the first bay horse, you give away your inexperience and naivety and therefore lay yourself open to being contacted by someone with ill intentions (known as 'grooming'). I would have hoped that you would have been taught internet safety from the first moment that you were allowed to use it. I think that is a safeguarding issue in itself, tbh.

I think PAS has hit the nail on the head here. The comments on that thread on the whole were jovial, not bitchy and generally just showing shock at the choice of tack placement which was very unusual. If you think those comments were harsh or they upset you then you could be in for a real shock when you see other comments that are made on this forum and elsewhere on the internet. The problem with the internet is people are a lot more confident to put across their views because they are anonymous.

 

[Chinchilla]

@ponynutz I've sent you a PM

 

[Rowreach]

Gosh now people are being a bit patronising towards a 17 year old

I saw the noseband thread when it was posted and (sorry Chincilla ) I did think it was a bit harsh saying the ad was up there with the worst, when really it wasn't, but as your post says above you've come to that conclusion yourself.

In terms of this thread, the OP has every right to say if something makes her uncomfortable, as do the rest of us on here, and it is not really for anyone else to tell her it shouldn't. There've been a few "rip it to shreds" threads that have made me in the past that obviously didn't worry other posters.

As for young people using the internet responsibly and not using this forum as a safe place, I've seen loads of adults on here being irresponsible and several who have stated that since parts of the forum are member only, they can post with impunity and not worry about who sees it

Maybe we all need a refresher course in internet safety

 

[doodle]

Another thread I have missed! Where is it?

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Another thread I have missed! Where is it?

Admin have decided to move it to the supposedly only for people over 18, Club House https://forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/in-so-far-as-bad-adverts-go.798103/

 

[paddi22]

maybe access to minors should be restricted to certain areas or have it's own section? there are often some fairly heavy adults topics discussed

 

[Rowreach]

maybe access to minors should be restricted to certain areas or have it's own section? there are often some fairly heavy adults topics discussed

The OP isn't 12!!

 

[ester]

That's what the common room still is (I can still see it anyway)

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Gosh now people are being a bit patronising towards a 17 year old

I saw the noseband thread when it was posted and (sorry Chincilla ) I did think it was a bit harsh saying the ad was up there with the worst, when really it wasn't, but as your post says above you've come to that conclusion yourself.

In terms of this thread, the OP has every right to say if something makes her uncomfortable, as do the rest of us on here, and it is not really for anyone else to tell her it shouldn't. There've been a few "rip it to shreds" threads that have made me in the past that obviously didn't worry other posters.

As for young people using the internet responsibly and not using this forum as a safe place, I've seen loads of adults on here being irresponsible and several who have stated that since parts of the forum are member only, they can post with impunity and not worry about who sees it

Maybe we all need a refresher course in internet safety

If you mean my post, I was aware only that OP is under 18, not of her actual age, I rarely bother to investigate the background/credentials of posters. I am afraid that it worries me that any-one would consider a forum to be a 'safe space' but presumably those members who are over 18 are capable of making their own decisions. By definition, under 18s are not. The comments on the bay gelding were not in any way harsh, imho, although admittedly the title could be considered to be so. Any-one posting on HHO will need to toughen up a bit if they want to read anything other than the 'what colour should my horse wear?' threads, if they think that thread was harsh. The only possible reason for reporting it was that it did stray into 'Dodgy Dealer' territory, which is against t&cs.

 

[Chinchilla]

they have their age on their profile.
Incidentally that's what I've messaged them about as I think they're giving away (or making it FAR too easy to find at least) an awful lot of very personal information about themselves.

 

[Rowreach]

they have their age on their profile.
Incidentally that's what I've messaged them about as I think they're giving away (or making it FAR too easy to find at least) an awful lot of very personal information about themselves.

I didn't go stalking btw but the OP commented on another post and gave it away, so you're probably right.

 

[Shilasdair]

I like to think (and I'm fairly sure) that my parents would have buried my 17yr old body in a lonely wood somewhere if I'd had the audacity, entitlement and rudeness to presume to tell other people (particularly adults) what they may and may not say, in case it made ME unhappy.

 

[paddi22]

The OP isn't 12!!

I'm not referring just to that poster. there have been other minors on recently. Once of which was easily traced to their instagram.

 

[Shilasdair]

Oh, and before the usual suspects start to remonstrate with me - please don't respond to my post.
It makes me uncomfortable and unhappy.

 

[Chinchilla]

I didn't go stalking btw but the OP commented on another post and gave it away, so you're probably right.

I didn't 'go stalking' either took me less than 5 minutes and I'm not even particularly tech savvy. Bit scary though what I was able to find without even very much effort! (Much more than an instagram account, actually.)
This makes me sound weird I know - but I just PM'd OP to let them know what I'd been able to find and told them how to make things a bit more private! (Starting with removing some details on here and restricting who can view their profile.)
I will admit I was a bit irked by their comments about my advert thread but I still really wouldn't want them, or anyone else for that matter, being hurt in any way.

 

[Rowreach]

I didn't 'go stalking' either took me less than 5 minutes and I'm not even particularly tech savvy. Bit scary though what I was able to find without even very much effort! (Much more than an instagram account, actually.)
This makes me sound weird I know - but I just PM'd OP to let them know what I'd been able to find and told them how to make things a bit more private! (Starting with removing some details on here and restricting who can view their profile.)
I will admit I was a bit irked by their comments about my advert thread but I still really wouldn't want them, or anyone else for that matter, being hurt in any way.

And that is a lovely, sensible and very mature response and course of action (at risk of being patronising myself now, whoops!) and a great deal more sensitive than many of the ones from the, er, older generations

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

And that is a lovely, sensible and very mature response and course of action (at risk of being patronising myself now, whoops!) and a great deal more sensitive than many of the ones from the, er, older generations

And just shows what a difference an 18th birthday can make! (no offence meant, Chinchilla)

 

[Tiddlypom]

Is anyone patronising the OP? I haven’t seen it.

I was going to come back on here and warn the OP in case she receives any seemingly innocuous PMs, as she has identified herself as a potentially vulnerable minor. That could be suspicious.

Then I saw that Chinchilla, who has been on here a while and I’m as sure as I can be is just who she says she is, has said that she’s PM’d the OP! Now I’m sure that is genuine helpful contact, but others may not be.

Overacting? I don’t think so. I’m a parent, albeit mine are grown up now, and I’m a former Parent Governor who has been on safeguarding courses. The internet is a fabulous resource, but there are many pitfalls for the unwary.

If when my lads were minors they had rocked up on a mainly adult forum, say for cricketers (that’s the sport that rocked their boat), and chided those adults for posting stuff that they thought was mean, I’d have given them an earful. Play with fire and get burnt.

 

[Trouper]

Well I was surprised to read that the OP was so young. I think the point was made in a very adult and thoughtful way and, sometimes, it does we 'oldies' good to be made to stop and think a bit.!!

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

Is this really about the noseband thread? I had a giggle looking at that. Can just imagine the dealer getting ready to get some footage of the horse in traffic only to realise it has a super sized head - never mind, crack on!

All publicity is good publicity etc ?

Where as I would have just gone "bollox, noseband off entirely then!"

BUT maybe it was a tactic of the dealer? Get the horse talked about, maybe pittied ans then sold quicker than it would have normally?

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I get where Pearl.. is coming from. I do also agree OP you've worded your post very well in an adult way

The whole purpose of a forum is to discuss various topics and this may mean people have different views on things.

I also post on a football forum, and while I understand its a different target demographic, some of it can make this look tame. It can also get very hostile at times, especially at the moment as the team aren't doing very well, this leads to conflict over whether the manager should stay, with some people getting agitated with those who don't share their views on him. It wouldn't be a suitable place for children.

This forum can be very supportive, Keiras Prince thread springs to mind.

Is the club house locked down to over 18's? Surely it should be as some topics inappropriate for children are often discussed there? I know its members only but because im old I don't know if there's any age restrictions?

 

[FinnishLapphund]

I don't think being sensible about your personal info online have to equal making your profile page completely inaccessible to others. To me that sounds like going from 0, straight to the opposite 100.
There is options to fine tune stuff as well, restrict what info that is visible, if people can leave messages or not, etc.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

...
Is the club house locked down to over 18's? Surely it should be as some topics inappropriate for children are often discussed there? I know its members only but because im old I don't know if there's any age restrictions?

It was a long time since I read the specifics, but as I recall, it says somewhere that the Club House is for those over 18, however members who is below 18 can also be in the CB, but by going in there they're accepting that they might encounter subjects supposedly not suitable for people below 18.

ETA I've encountered several places on the internet were I only had to click a little box saying Yes, I'm over 13/18/whatever years old, but I'm sure many persons below those age restrictions are fully capable of clicking that little box, too, so adding something like that to get access to the HHO Club House seems a bit pointless to me.

 

[Shilasdair]

If you want to live dangerously, join Pistonheads forum.

In general terms I have found that anyone who is vocally 'Calling out bullying' IS actually the bully themselves. And anyone who is shouting about another poster/person being nasty/horrible/abusive - is the unpleasant one. The same goes for anyone who screams 'troll' at someone.

All effective ways at silencing someone's voice.

 

[KittenInTheTree]

Regarding internet safety, do bear in mind that just because someone deliberately posts or otherwise lets slip information purporting to be factual about who they are, this doesn't automatically mean that the information provided is true. If anyone has concerns for or about another poster, then the safest option is to relay those concerns to Admin.

 

[The Xmas Furry]

If you want to live dangerously, join Pistonheads forum.

In general terms I have found that anyone who is vocally 'Calling out bullying' IS actually the bully themselves. And anyone who is shouting about another poster/person being nasty/horrible/abusive - is the unpleasant one. The same goes for anyone who screams 'troll' at someone.

All effective ways at silencing someone's voice.

Ahh... good old Pistonheads..... and also The Rev Counter as well as others, all guaranteed to entertain, makes HHO seem like a quaint village ?