I have 0 right to say this but...

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ponynutz

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Hi there! I hope this post didn't offend anyone too much; I wasn't necessarily honing in on anybody in particular, or that wasn't my aim; just the way people come across - including myself! I've changed some details on here and facebook now as per what you guys were able to find, so thank you for that!
I think some people thought I was much younger than I am - in fact I will be 18 in less than 2 months, so I'm sure I can cope with adult themes. As I said my post was more about how people come across on the internet (oh the irony there!), and wrongly used comments from that most recent example to try and make that point. I didn't mean to offend, only demonstrate my point.
I've been here for ages and love it, I've just noticed a ramping up of toxicity recently that I think culminated with that post.
I'll leave the post up, and leave it after posting this, but other than that I hope this can blow over and I can learn to be a bit less bloody sensitive, or otherwise keep my trap shut!
Hopefully i won't feel too awkward posting elsewhere on the site now!
 
scats

scats

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I think everyone has jumped on the ‘safe place’ comment and it’s sort of derailed what the OP had started this thread about. I took ‘safe place’ to mean ‘chill out/time away from life’ space. What I took from the original post was a level headed young person stating how uncomfortable she finds it to read people’s adverts being talked about.
 
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Pearlsacarolsinger

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ponynutz said:
Hi there! I hope this post didn't offend anyone too much; I wasn't necessarily honing in on anybody in particular, or that wasn't my aim; just the way people come across - including myself! I've changed some details on here and facebook now as per what you guys were able to find, so thank you for that!
I think some people thought I was much younger than I am - in fact I will be 18 in less than 2 months, so I'm sure I can cope with adult themes. As I said my post was more about how people come across on the internet (oh the irony there!), and wrongly used comments from that most recent example to try and make that point. I didn't mean to offend, only demonstrate my point.
I've been here for ages and love it, I've just noticed a ramping up of toxicity recently that I think culminated with that post.
I'll leave the post up, and leave it after posting this, but other than that I hope this can blow over and I can learn to be a bit less bloody sensitive, or otherwise keep my trap shut!
Hopefully i won't feel too awkward posting elsewhere on the site now!
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No need to feel awkward, there are plenty of us who can go at it hammer and tongs on one thread and then be very supportive of each other on another - because most of us are really very sensible.

But you really do need to read the t&c's so that you are aware of how this forum works - you cannot choose to leave or take down a post. Anything you have posted will be there for all eternity for all to see, so be careful about what you post.
 
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Flicker

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ponynutz said:
Hi there! I hope this post didn't offend anyone too much; I wasn't necessarily honing in on anybody in particular, or that wasn't my aim; just the way people come across - including myself! I've changed some details on here and facebook now as per what you guys were able to find, so thank you for that!
I think some people thought I was much younger than I am - in fact I will be 18 in less than 2 months, so I'm sure I can cope with adult themes. As I said my post was more about how people come across on the internet (oh the irony there!), and wrongly used comments from that most recent example to try and make that point. I didn't mean to offend, only demonstrate my point.
I've been here for ages and love it, I've just noticed a ramping up of toxicity recently that I think culminated with that post.
I'll leave the post up, and leave it after posting this, but other than that I hope this can blow over and I can learn to be a bit less bloody sensitive, or otherwise keep my trap shut!
Hopefully i won't feel too awkward posting elsewhere on the site now!
Click to expand...

Your OP makes a lot of sense and I personally think it is good practice for anyone, irrespective of age, to occasionally reflect on the potential impact of what we say and do. I certainly have, thanks to your post.

There will, unfortunately, always be people out there who will try to silence you by patronising you, shouting over you, dismissing you. This says a lot about them and less about you and your message. And never be sorry for pointing out that something makes you uncomfortable - if it has had an impact on you, it has probably had an impact on someone else who may just not yet be brave enough to speak out.
 
Winters100

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scats said:
I think everyone has jumped on the ‘safe place’ comment and it’s sort of derailed what the OP had started this thread about. I took ‘safe place’ to mean ‘chill out/time away from life’ space. What I took from the original post was a level headed young person stating how uncomfortable she finds it to read people’s adverts being talked about.
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You are right, certainly the 'safe place' issue was a red flag to me, but I suppose it is a term which means different things to different people. Also interesting how we all perceive age differently, one poster warning everyone to go easy as she is a minor, and another feeling that some answers were patronizing to a 17 year old. I believe that many people (myself included) assumed her to be younger after reading that she is a minor, and certainly to me it would be an issue for a younger teenager to be viewing this as a 'safe place' and to be upset by reading the posts.

In my opinion OP has shown a lot of maturity in taking all of the various comments with good grace, and I believe that she has also received good advice from many of the posters. Nothing wrong with a thread which makes all of us oldies think before we type from time to time, so don't be put off posting again OP, even if people disagree with your views you can always tell yourself 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'.
 
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Stressymummy

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Rowreach said:
Gosh now people are being a bit patronising towards a 17 year old :rolleyes:

I saw the noseband thread when it was posted and (sorry Chincilla :)) I did think it was a bit harsh saying the ad was up there with the worst, when really it wasn't, but as your post says above you've come to that conclusion yourself.

In terms of this thread, the OP has every right to say if something makes her uncomfortable, as do the rest of us on here, and it is not really for anyone else to tell her it shouldn't. There've been a few "rip it to shreds" threads that have made me :eek: in the past that obviously didn't worry other posters.

As for young people using the internet responsibly and not using this forum as a safe place, I've seen loads of adults on here being irresponsible and several who have stated that since parts of the forum are member only, they can post with impunity and not worry about who sees it :eek:;)

Maybe we all need a refresher course in internet safety :p
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Nothing changes on here !
 
Gingerwitch

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Winters100 said:
You are right, certainly the 'safe place' issue was a red flag to me, but I suppose it is a term which means different things to different people. Also interesting how we all perceive age differently, one poster warning everyone to go easy as she is a minor, and another feeling that some answers were patronizing to a 17 year old. I believe that many people (myself included) assumed her to be younger after reading that she is a minor, and certainly to me it would be an issue for a younger teenager to be viewing this as a 'safe place' and to be upset by reading the posts.

In my opinion OP has shown a lot of maturity in taking all of the various comments with good grace, and I believe that she has also received good advice from many of the posters. Nothing wrong with a thread which makes all of us oldies think before we type from time to time, so don't be put off posting again OP, even if people disagree with your views you can always tell yourself 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'.
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I do t think sticks and stones works with the youth of today, in my day it did as once the school bell went that was the end of it til the next day or Monday or after the school holidays, now it's relentless and your even got at on your own home, even in the safety of your older siblings or mum and dad. If your not on line these days it's worse when your I person as your bullied even more. Sad really
 
SEL

SEL

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ponynutz said:
Hi there! I hope this post didn't offend anyone too much; I wasn't necessarily honing in on anybody in particular, or that wasn't my aim; just the way people come across - including myself! I've changed some details on here and facebook now as per what you guys were able to find, so thank you for that!
I think some people thought I was much younger than I am - in fact I will be 18 in less than 2 months, so I'm sure I can cope with adult themes. As I said my post was more about how people come across on the internet (oh the irony there!), and wrongly used comments from that most recent example to try and make that point. I didn't mean to offend, only demonstrate my point.
I've been here for ages and love it, I've just noticed a ramping up of toxicity recently that I think culminated with that post.
I'll leave the post up, and leave it after posting this, but other than that I hope this can blow over and I can learn to be a bit less bloody sensitive, or otherwise keep my trap shut!
Hopefully i won't feel too awkward posting elsewhere on the site now!
Click to expand...
Don't feel awkward - there's been much worse posted including some real crackers of arguments!. If you're nearly 18 then I'd just advise grabbing a bottle of wine and some junk food before reading some of the more "enthusiastic" threads!!
 
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Chinchilla

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SEL said:
Don't feel awkward - there's been much worse posted including some real crackers of arguments!. If you're nearly 18 then I'd just advise grabbing a bottle of wine and some junk food before reading some of the more "enthusiastic" threads!!
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some of the really old, fiery ones make great reading for procrastinating on study leave haha
 
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shamrock2021

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I do agree op Haha the famous line on this fourm when someone is annoyed is that your a child you shouldn’t be on it. I have seen this on so many theads I hope you have a nice 18 birthday ?
 
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Bambelina

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Flicker said:
Hey guys, as you’ve pointed out the OP is a minor. Go easy. If you don’t agree with her post, you have the option to scroll past without commenting too. And, as adults, perhaps we can also take on board the views of a minor that something is making them uncomfortable and reflect on whether we maybe could be doing anything differently.
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Well said!!
 
Winters100

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Gingerwitch said:
I do t think sticks and stones works with the youth of today, in my day it did as once the school bell went that was the end of it til the next day or Monday or after the school holidays, now it's relentless and your even got at on your own home, even in the safety of your older siblings or mum and dad. If your not on line these days it's worse when your I person as your bullied even more. Sad really
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This is true, the internet makes it much worse, especially because everything can be shared so easily. I do still feel however that within reason kids need to learn to deal with problems themselves - in our family we try not to coddle and protect them too much. I was a boarder between the ages of 8 and 18, and learning to manage situations without my parents stood me in good stead, they even sent me to a different school to my older sister to make sure that I would learn to stand on my own two feet. But of course the world was very different, and I do think that we were tougher. Certainly 'hurt feelings' were viewed as your problem for letting your feelings be hurt, not something that someone else was responsible for. Unkindness was not viewed as bullying, it was just a reality that sometimes people would be unkind and you had to control how you let it affect you. It was good for us, but probably only to a point. I was lucky and enjoyed it, but not everyone did.
 
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