I have a stalker! Advice needed

[Goldie's mum]

There's a guy on my yard who used to really scare me. Once I got to know him I realized that he's very socially unusual but not harmful. I actually enjoy having a chat with him now.

Your Dr needs some help and advice otherwise she could get hurt. ( #1 the prancing around a rolling horse, she could have been injured.)
Your #s 2 & 3 = unusual person who really admires you.
You don't need to become bosom pals but a few friendly words would put her into a different part of your head & might make it easier to give her advice if she's doing other odd things in future.

#4 & #5 are matters that need discussing between you and YO but no need to mention the Dr specifically. If a horse is on its turn out it doesn't get bumped off for anyone. If you have the arena booked out, the instructor should not have come in with a lesson, whoever the riders were - that is the instructor's fault & it could have been dangerous.

 

[4Hoofed]

Thank you for being able to see past my awful post. I’m starting to realise that I’m seeing this from one side. I must sound like a . I really appreciate your advice.

Well done on you, little moments can be used for personal growth! Personally I don’t think introverts need “help” but do need to also appreciate that some people need direct communication (after all no one is psychic )

But also please remember from this and a previous post you put up about novices that everyone started somewhere. I think a lot of people not just OP need to remember Equestrianism is a tough game at the best of times and tearing each other down doesn’t lift anyone up. We are all a novice to someone. Imagine if your professionals dismissed you, your ideas or opinions off hand because you are not their standard/level of knowledge then you’d never have got to where you are. We don’t have to teach anyone for free but we can be polite and kind to each other. but go you OP for learning and growing! We all have bad days and need to rant or let off steam!

 

[millreef]

(BTW am I correct you are talking about an adult livery?)

Yes she is an older lady who started to ride for the first time and got a livery after a few weeks.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Just throwing it out there...could she be on the Autism spectrum?? People with Autism often "mirror" behaviour because they don't have the same social abilities that neurotypical people have. It can feel very intense and uncomfortable to a NT person to have such attention.
I understand the frustration you must be feeling though and, while your initial post came off wrong, I can see why you feel concerned esp as some of this lady's actions are causing safety problems. I hope you can get it sorted asap

 

[Sanversera]

whatever the condition or whoever the "stalker" may be or have the fact is that the OP is worried concerned and frightened of her behaviour nd this needs addressing by the YO .A livery causing concern to another is totally unacceptable. Many years ago a person with a mental health cndition made my life a misery at a yard. Not her fault she couldnt help her obsessive behaviour but it was also totally unfiar on me. I moved to get away from her as nothing else could be done.

 

[ihatework]

Hey, just talk to her.
If she is ND or has other issues then doing it nicely might mean more than you could ever imagine.
But I agree, I’d be a bit weirded out too!

 

[exracehorse]

It’s certainly not normal to run around the school pretending to be a horse. Not unless your 5 years old.

 

[Lois Lame]

'Not unless your 5 years old.'
Or if you have young kids and you are all pretending to be horses, because it might be ok then. (I hope.) But yes, I did think that rather odd.

 

[JBM]

'Not unless your 5 years old.'
Or if you have young kids and you are all pretending to be horses, because it might be ok then. (I hope.) But yes, I did think that rather odd.

I believe they meant in the context of the post
Always acceptable to mess around with family and friends

 

[babymare]

Thank you to everyone who read my awful ranting post. I wrote it immediately after the incident and was highly emotional. I don’t mean to sound like a know it all or I’ve done this and that etc. I just find it difficult coping with all this attention and wanted to ask the H&H folks for advice. I really appreciate the posts that were honest and not snarky (even though my post probably deserved it). I’m going to see the yard owner today (who is lovely) and get the whole picture. I won’t be getting professional help for my introvert nature as I love being an introvert. It’s magical being happy in your own company. Anyway, many thanks for trying to help an old fart!

what an honest post.

 

[ElectricChampagne]

I hope you're doing ok millreef.

I'd be a bit put out by that behaviour. It would make me uncomfortable too.

Hopefully it will be resolved soon. Did you mention it to the YO it made you uncomfortable?

 

[Ratface]

Hi, millreef. Another one to check in with how you're doing. Please speak to YO and don't be intimidated, if possible. Meanwhile, check out what other yards are possible for you to relocate to.
We're behind you!

 

[millreef]

Hi, millreef. Another one to check in with how you're doing. Please speak to YO and don't be intimidated, if possible. Meanwhile, check out what other yards are possible for you to relocate to.
We're behind you!

Many many thanks. I’m so happy that this forum is so forgiving and caring x. YO were lovely. I’m genuinely happy here and they have said they will allocate a quiet area for me so I can groom and potter around in peace. And hugs to all of you who were so supportive. I’m old but still learning and will take onboard what you all suggested xx

 

[ElectricChampagne]

That sounds like a lovely outcome. I hope everything works out for you now.

 

[Sanversera]

Thank you for the update, I hope things improve for you from now on xx

 

[Cinnamontoast]

You don't need to be introduced because you're English. You're not a simpering débutante, this is not the 19th century. I empathise with odd behaviour, seen my fair share of it over the years, including one lady who would get my horse out and groom him when I wasn't there or stand with me when the vet was there for my horse, as though she were a co-owner or something. I had to tell her to go away quite firmly!