I just don't want to ride any more. Anyone got over this?

Wagtail

Wagtail

Horse servant
Joined
2 December 2010
Messages
14,815
Location
Lincs
Visit site
Since I lost my mare, who I loved so much and I am still grieving quite badly. I have never been anywhere near this bad when an animal has died before. I am functioning well and running my yard. All horses are well cared for and loved. I have a new filly who is just amazing, but I don't want to ride any more! I especially don't want to ride one horse whose owner keeps trying to get me to ride. I am worn out from single handedly caring for 8 horses and riding just leaves me exhausted with no energy left for all the chores I have to do. In fact I haven't PROPERLY ridden for 6 months other than a 15 minute sit on a fabulous dressage horse. So I am worried I will 'lose it' but don't feel I should ride unless I get my mojo back.

But even though I keep telling people I do not intend to ride again until the Spring why does one person keep trying to get me to ride her horse? I have never liked riding him and never will. If I do decide to ride a horse it will be one that does not have his issues. But I don't want to hurt her feelings. I love the horse, but just hate riding him :(

And then I worry that I'll never want to ride again. I wonder if I bought a 2 year old just to put off having to ride again. If I had my old mare back I would want to ride, but other than her, I just don't want to any more. Has anyone else ever fet like this, and did you get over it?
 
Last edited:
Sorry to hear you're feeling that way - just tell her you are taking a break from riding atm - your mojo is taking a lil holiday - but thanks anyway.
It could be that person thinks they are doing you a favour helping you retrieve your mojo...

Hope it comes back soon - sure it will. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest! :)
 
I feel similar. I lost my old horse last year and my youngster the year before. Depression hit me big time and i have never known such grief. I have a young Fell pony whose rising 6 but i have lost the will to ride or do anything apart from daily chores. I lost my boy in April last year in a tragic field accident. He was retired but he was my horse of a lifetime. I have bought a project pony to work on to fill the gap of my old boy but i have not got any enthusiasm at the moment. The bad weather doesn't help either. Im hoping to start reschooling my 6 year old soon and hopefully get my mojo for riding back which has long gone so i can sympathize with you. I miss my two boys every day and cannot get over it.
 
They probably think they are helping - and maybe, when the weather improves (if!!!) you will feel differently. I know I really am not enjoying my horses at all this year, and I don't usually ride much in winter anyway - we are supposed to be doing it for pleasure lol.
Maybe you could take her to one side and tell her you really don't want to ride her horse or any horse until further notice, but promise her if you do want to ride him you will ask and not wait for the offer. That way she knows not to keep on in the hope you might be just being too polite to take her up on it?
Weather and more time might make all the difference but you are getting your horsey fix on the yard anyway, hope it all works for you.
 
Stick to your guns and have a break - you are still grieving plus all the hard work that the other horses entail, and are probably mentally and physically worn down.

See how you feel come spring - a nice sunny day with less chores to do and your motivation may just reappear, but don't force the issue as will only make you more depressed.

Chin up x
 
Ah, Wagtail, this is perfectly understandable. You are grieving after going through such a lot with Penny, putting everything you had into her recovery, then losing her when she was improving. This, coupled with the hard work you have to do alone on a daily basis in the awful wet weather............you are allowed to feel like this.

I expect the livery who is offering your horse is doing it with the best intentions, you may just have to be a little more firm with her.

When the Spring comes and ground dries up, you will be able to see light at the end of the tunnel, meanwhile, you have your lovely filly to love and play with.

Try not to worry about not wanting to ride.
 
I think you are probably suffering from overwork and the fact that you no longer have some "me time" to balance the work. I used to love working with racehorses, the mix of riding and other things suited me perfectly, but I worked 45 hours per week and six days per week [give or take], 40 weeks per year, so that I had time off, and I was not a YO, heaven forbid!
See if you can find someone to help you out .......... I would jump at the chance to have one or two days a week messing about in a properly run yard, sadly there are none of those round here!
 
Big hugs. And huge amount of sympathy. I don't know what to suggest, but here's my story...If nothing else, it will let you know that there's someone else in the same boat.

I bought my boy in July last year, 4 months after having put my TB down due to an initially undiagnosed but very compromised SI joint. To be honest, the PTS was a huge relief; the TB was dangerous. He was a rodeo ride and a basket case because of the pain. I completely lost my bottle and he'd started the rodeo club thing 2 months after I bought him. He was diagnosed with mild KS and I was advised to do a rehab programme of daily lunging. Watching his antics on the lunge - which were obviously pain related - I never wanted to get on him again. However, lots of people offered me horses to ride, so I jumped at the chance.

I bought LL because I felt utterly safe on him. By November I was just starting to really enjoy things when he sat down in the field and has crushed his lumbosacral joint and has pretty much lacerated a hind suspensory. Last week, AHT gently suggested PTS; my vet said try a 6 month rest period and see if it doesn't settle. Since then, I've been offered rides - well three days a week on a horse I've ridden a fair bit. I've said yes but every part of me is screaming 'no'. I don't want to ride anything else. I even turned down an opportunity to ride a super little mare that I've had a huge amount of fun on in the past. I just want to ride LL. It feels as if my soul is saying 'why bother if you can't ride LL? What's the point?'. I've said yes so I am going to have to.

I'm just hoping that if I do it enough, the negatives will slip away.
 
SarahF said:
Sorry to hear you're feeling that way - just tell her you are taking a break from riding atm - your mojo is taking a lil holiday - but thanks anyway.
It could be that person thinks they are doing you a favour helping you retrieve your mojo...

Hope it comes back soon - sure it will. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest! :)
Click to expand...

Thank you. :)

spottydottypony said:
I feel similar. I lost my old horse last year and my youngster the year before. Depression hit me big time and i have never known such grief. I have a young Fell pony whose rising 6 but i have lost the will to ride or do anything apart from daily chores. I lost my boy in April last year in a tragic field accident. He was retired but he was my horse of a lifetime. I have bought a project pony to work on to fill the gap of my old boy but i have not got any enthusiasm at the moment. The bad weather doesn't help either. Im hoping to start reschooling my 6 year old soon and hopefully get my mojo for riding back which has long gone so i can sympathize with you. I miss my two boys every day and cannot get over it.
Click to expand...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your horses. I really think that this loss of mojo must be something to do with the grieving process. My two year old needs backing this summer, but I am already telling myself that she is too small and needs another year to mature. True in a way, but I think it suits the way I am feeling at the minute. I hope you start to feel better soon. It really does hurt when you lose your special horse.

JillA said:
They probably think they are helping - and maybe, when the weather improves (if!!!) you will feel differently. I know I really am not enjoying my horses at all this year, and I don't usually ride much in winter anyway - we are supposed to be doing it for pleasure lol.
Maybe you could take her to one side and tell her you really don't want to ride her horse or any horse until further notice, but promise her if you do want to ride him you will ask and not wait for the offer. That way she knows not to keep on in the hope you might be just being too polite to take her up on it?
Weather and more time might make all the difference but you are getting your horsey fix on the yard anyway, hope it all works for you.
Click to expand...

Good idea. I will tell her today that I will let her know if I want to ride him. Problem is, there are a couple of others who have offered their horses, and both are so much more my type than her boy. I will have to make sure she is not around if I do ride them before I'm ready to tackle her boy. Thing is with this gelding is that he obviously does not enjoy being ridden. He's not really dangerous or anything, I can't explain it really. I just hate riding him.
 
Arizahn said:
Might be time to be blunt with her then: you are busy, you are tired, you don't want to ride her horse.
Click to expand...

Yes, you are right. She is the type o person that does not notice gentle hints, but then gets all offended when you have to be really blunt with her. But I can't see any other way.

Sidney said:
Stick to your guns and have a break - you are still grieving plus all the hard work that the other horses entail, and are probably mentally and physically worn down.

See how you feel come spring - a nice sunny day with less chores to do and your motivation may just reappear, but don't force the issue as will only make you more depressed.

Chin up x
Click to expand...

Yes I think the weather really doesn't help!

hayinamanger said:
Ah, Wagtail, this is perfectly understandable. You are grieving after going through such a lot with Penny, putting everything you had into her recovery, then losing her when she was improving. This, coupled with the hard work you have to do alone on a daily basis in the awful wet weather............you are allowed to feel like this.

I expect the livery who is offering your horse is doing it with the best intentions, you may just have to be a little more firm with her.

When the Spring comes and ground dries up, you will be able to see light at the end of the tunnel, meanwhile, you have your lovely filly to love and play with.

Try not to worry about not wanting to ride.
Click to expand...

Thank you for being so understanding. I think that is exactly why I am feeling this way. I just hope the Spring makes an improvement on things.

MrsD123 said:
I think you are probably suffering from overwork and the fact that you no longer have some "me time" to balance the work. I used to love working with racehorses, the mix of riding and other things suited me perfectly, but I worked 45 hours per week and six days per week [give or take], 40 weeks per year, so that I had time off, and I was not a YO, heaven forbid!
See if you can find someone to help you out .......... I would jump at the chance to have one or two days a week messing about in a properly run yard, sadly there are none of those round here!
Click to expand...

It's a shame you are not near me!

Hereshoping said:
Big hugs. And huge amount of sympathy. I don't know what to suggest, but here's my story...If nothing else, it will let you know that there's someone else in the same boat.

I bought my boy in July last year, 4 months after having put my TB down due to an initially undiagnosed but very compromised SI joint. To be honest, the PTS was a huge relief; the TB was dangerous. He was a rodeo ride and a basket case because of the pain. I completely lost my bottle and he'd started the rodeo club thing 2 months after I bought him. He was diagnosed with mild KS and I was advised to do a rehab programme of daily lunging. Watching his antics on the lunge - which were obviously pain related - I never wanted to get on him again. However, lots of people offered me horses to ride, so I jumped at the chance.

I bought LL because I felt utterly safe on him. By November I was just starting to really enjoy things when he sat down in the field and has crushed his lumbosacral joint and has pretty much lacerated a hind suspensory. Last week, AHT gently suggested PTS; my vet said try a 6 month rest period and see if it doesn't settle. Since then, I've been offered rides - well three days a week on a horse I've ridden a fair bit. I've said yes but every part of me is screaming 'no'. I don't want to ride anything else. I even turned down an opportunity to ride a super little mare that I've had a huge amount of fun on in the past. I just want to ride LL. It feels as if my soul is saying 'why bother if you can't ride LL? What's the point?'. I've said yes so I am going to have to.

I'm just hoping that if I do it enough, the negatives will slip away.
Click to expand...

I am so, so sorry to hear about your horses. Is LL on box rest? If so, I really hope he gets better.
 
I think it's perfectly normal given the stress you've had lately.

As others have said, winter doesn't help and not being funny but I think age plays a part too, I know as I've got older riding is no longer as important, even though I still enjoy it when I do.

Be kind to yourself, and don't force yourself because you feel you should or somebody else thinks you should. When the sun starts to shine I'm sure your mojo will return. :)
 
So sorry your feeling the way you do, i agree with the others that the other lady is probably trying to help, just tell her thanks but no thanks.

Your grieving and everyone grieves in different ways, no one knows how you feel because they are not you, but we can all sympathise with how your feeling. Don't let anyone tell you what you must do, take your time, get some help with the horses if you can, have some "me time" and take things one step at a time. You may find that when the weather improves so do you, take it little by little and don't be feeling bad/guilty for not wanting to ride, you don't have to.
 
Don't push yourself into get back on - the more you feel you have to, the more you won't really want to and won't enjoy it. It then becomes another chore. Enjoy not *having* to ride right now, and then if you fancy riding when the weather is better - go ahead. If not - don't worry about it. Your 2 year old has a long way to go yet before you need to worry about riding her, so don't let it pressure you just now.

From my experience, I bought Geoff far too soon after having my old boy PTS, and I'm only really now, about 15 months later, starting to gel with him and actually appreciate him for him rather than comparing. I've had times when I felt like all the slog of schooling him and him being contrary as found it hard was just depressing compared to my lovely schoolmaster who tried so hard all the time for me. Now, I'm starting to actually understand our relationship, rather than projecting my relationship with my last horse and trying to make it the same. Since I let go of that, Geoff has become a much nicer horse to ride and handle, too.

So take your time - and just tell your liveries that you don't really want to ride, no offence to them but you'r enjoying your break!
 
Oh bless you, I find riding really tiring as I am pretty unfit! I haven't ridden all winter and I am finding it all awfully hard work with only two horses who live out etc. I don't blame you for being tired!

It will get better when the weather improves I think, and if it doesn't, your filly is probably not in a rush :-)

Your livery is maybe thinking 'she must want to ride, she's being polite and doesn't want to ask, keep offering!'
 
A friend went through this when she lost her horse that she had for most of her life. It took about a year off and when she got back on she was scared stiff, but everyone gave her kicks up the bum and shes back out enduring. Just take your time.
 
Thank you all of you for being so understanding. I have realised it is the 'feeling I have to' that is spoiling things for me. My liveries are all being so kind offering me rides and not taking them up on it makes m feel a bit useless. But I have explained that at the moment I have just lost all interest in riding, and that I am sure one day, probably in the Spring things will change and I will let her know. I will borrow horses from those who have so kindly offered and have some lessons before embarking on breaking my youngster. I will be so 'riding unfit' by then!
 
Wagtail said:
Since I lost my mare, who I loved so much and I am still grieving quite badly. I have never been anywhere near this bad when an animal has died before. I am functioning well and running my yard. All horses are well cared for and loved. I have a new filly who is just amazing, but I don't want to ride any more! I especially don't want to ride one horse whose owner keeps trying to get me to ride. I am worn out from single handedly caring for 8 horses and riding just leaves me exhausted with no energy left for all the chores I have to do. In fact I haven't PROPERLY ridden for 6 months other than a 15 minute sit on a fabulous dressage horse. So I am worried I will 'lose it' but don't feel I should ride unless I get my mojo back.

But even though I keep telling people I do not intend to ride again until the Spring why does one person keep trying to get me to ride her horse? I have never liked riding him and never will. If I do decide to ride a horse it will be one that does not have his issues. But I don't want to hurt her feelings. I love the horse, but just hate riding him :(

And then I worry that I'll never want to ride again. I wonder if I bought a 2 year old just to put off having to ride again. If I had my old mare back I would want to ride, but other than her, I just don't want to any more. Has anyone else ever fet like this, and did you get over it?
Click to expand...

You went through hell with your beautiful girl . . . and you made a very selfless decision that ripped your heart out. It is very understandable that you should not feel like climbing on a horse just now . . . and you need to tell the woman who wants you to ride her gelding (politely) to back off. You will ride when you feel like it . . . when you have finished grieving . . . when you no longer feel disloyal . . . when you are "ready" . . . or you may never ride again - and that's fine too.

Honestly? You need to be kind to yourself and give yourself the space to mourn your girl and get your head (and heart) right again . . . enjoy being in the fresh air/with horses and ponies . . . but don't succumb to any pressure from anyone else to get on anything until you feel you are ready - and if that's never, then so be it.

I think about you often . . . the struggle you undertook with your lovely mare to see her right/have her PTS was hard to read but your courage shone through . . . please, please take care of yourself.

P
 
If you can try and take the pressure off yourself. Tell everyone that you're not going to ride until 31 March/ 30 June/ 2015 (whatever you think is sensible) because of all the work you have to do over what is one of the worst winters for keeping horses we've had in a long time! If you push yourself back into it you won't want to do it even more and you'll end up off for longer. Even if you took a year off you'd come back well enough when you were ready.

And if you can don't allow yourself to ride until then, for me nothing brings back my enthusiasm than not being able to do something, I have days when I could ride but don't cos I can't drum up the energy (small baby up all night!) then when there are days I have no child care then I really think I'd like to!!
 
Another who feels the same wagtail - you're certainly not alone. I put my mare out on loan last year to a home which I thoroughly vetted, got references and visited their yard beforehand. They sent her back less than 3 months later, having ragged her about on the hardest of ground, irrepairably lame and she is now retired to grass.

Since then I've had no interest in riding whatsoever. I'm a groom at a busy livery yard, and take care of a similar number of horses as you each day. Frankly I'm so tired by the time I finish that I just don't fancy riding. My boss very kindly offered me unlimited riding on one of hers, and I'm just not fussed at all.

I've no idea if its a permanent change or not, but I'm not going to put any pressure on myself, and I don't think you should either. You've been through so much the last few months, just carry on as you are and just let the mood take you :)

My hubby wants to buy me another horse to replace my mare for Xmas this year - if I'm still not interested by then I shall buy something talented and give the ride to someone else. My friends think it's a ridiculous idea, but after all, if it was that ridiculous then all out Olympic riders would have a huge shortage of horses! (Not saying that I'm buying an Olympic horse, sadly I'm not a squillionaire, but the principle is the same!)

No pressure!! Let the mood take you in it's own time :) xx
 
If you don't enjoy riding that particular horse then tell her. I'd just tell her the truth, that you don't enjoy riding her horse. That way it leaves the door open for you to ride other horses should you so desire to.

Regarding losing the want to ride; yes I think it's fairly normal when you lose a horse who has meant a huge amount to you. When my most treasured little mare died in March last year it was devastating to me. I not only loved her incredibly deeply but I absolutely loved, loved, loved riding her. She was such a spunky little thing and riding her gave me the thrill of my life. She always took me back to being a kid again on my ponies and we did lots of pony things together. She was game for anything and we did everything and had such a lot of fun together. I missed her so much, I still do, and although I own another 20 odd horses, none of them have what we had together. I do still ride, just not with as much enthusiasm and last year I could take or leave riding tbqh. This year however, I do feel different and I am really looking forward to getting out on the trails riding as soon as this darned ice melts. I've wondered if it's because I can't do it, that makes me want to!
 
You're tired and worn out emotionally and probably physically. You deserve a break. Tell people you're enjoying having a break for a few months. Tell them you're feeling under the weather and worn out, so don't need any extra exercise at the moment! I bet when you get nearer the time to break your young lady in you'll be loving riding again. It will come back. Its in you, who you are! I had ten years off and got right back into it. In fact I think I rode better when I came back!
 
PolarSkye said:
You went through hell with your beautiful girl . . . and you made a very selfless decision that ripped your heart out. It is very understandable that you should not feel like climbing on a horse just now . . . and you need to tell the woman who wants you to ride her gelding (politely) to back off. You will ride when you feel like it . . . when you have finished grieving . . . when you no longer feel disloyal . . . when you are "ready" . . . or you may never ride again - and that's fine too.

Honestly? You need to be kind to yourself and give yourself the space to mourn your girl and get your head (and heart) right again . . . enjoy being in the fresh air/with horses and ponies . . . but don't succumb to any pressure from anyone else to get on anything until you feel you are ready - and if that's never, then so be it.

I think about you often . . . the struggle you undertook with your lovely mare to see her right/have her PTS was hard to read but your courage shone through . . . please, please take care of yourself.

P
Click to expand...

That's a lovely thing to say. Thank you. You are right that I somehow feel disloyal. I knew my girl inside out and she was such 'easy company'. A lot of our bonding was done with me in the saddle. She had major fear issues hacking out alone but she learnt to trust me to take care of her. I guess it's similar to a relationship break up that had been really deep and special. It seems such a mountain to climb to start over again.
 
Polos Mum said:
If you can try and take the pressure off yourself. Tell everyone that you're not going to ride until 31 March/ 30 June/ 2015 (whatever you think is sensible) because of all the work you have to do over what is one of the worst winters for keeping horses we've had in a long time! If you push yourself back into it you won't want to do it even more and you'll end up off for longer. Even if you took a year off you'd come back well enough when you were ready.

And if you can don't allow yourself to ride until then, for me nothing brings back my enthusiasm than not being able to do something, I have days when I could ride but don't cos I can't drum up the energy (small baby up all night!) then when there are days I have no child care then I really think I'd like to!!
Click to expand...

Yes, I think that would work for me. I always fight against pressure, so just stating that I'm not going to ride until the Spring helps. Though I have said this to the lady a couple of times and it's made no difference. So I have just said to her thank you, but I will let you know when I get my mojo back.

catwithclaws said:
Another who feels the same wagtail - you're certainly not alone. I put my mare out on loan last year to a home which I thoroughly vetted, got references and visited their yard beforehand. They sent her back less than 3 months later, having ragged her about on the hardest of ground, irrepairably lame and she is now retired to grass.

Since then I've had no interest in riding whatsoever. I'm a groom at a busy livery yard, and take care of a similar number of horses as you each day. Frankly I'm so tired by the time I finish that I just don't fancy riding. My boss very kindly offered me unlimited riding on one of hers, and I'm just not fussed at all.

I've no idea if its a permanent change or not, but I'm not going to put any pressure on myself, and I don't think you should either. You've been through so much the last few months, just carry on as you are and just let the mood take you :)

My hubby wants to buy me another horse to replace my mare for Xmas this year - if I'm still not interested by then I shall buy something talented and give the ride to someone else. My friends think it's a ridiculous idea, but after all, if it was that ridiculous then all out Olympic riders would have a huge shortage of horses! (Not saying that I'm buying an Olympic horse, sadly I'm not a squillionaire, but the principle is the same!)

No pressure!! Let the mood take you in it's own time :) xx
Click to expand...

What an awful thing to happen to your poor mare. Thank goodness she has a caring owner like you to still take care of her. I hope you too can get your love of riding back. But it is hard when energy levels are so low, and riding other people's horses is just not the same. Roll on Spring!
 
Spring Feather said:
If you don't enjoy riding that particular horse then tell her. I'd just tell her the truth, that you don't enjoy riding her horse. That way it leaves the door open for you to ride other horses should you so desire to.

Regarding losing the want to ride; yes I think it's fairly normal when you lose a horse who has meant a huge amount to you. When my most treasured little mare died in March last year it was devastating to me. I not only loved her incredibly deeply but I absolutely loved, loved, loved riding her. She was such a spunky little thing and riding her gave me the thrill of my life. She always took me back to being a kid again on my ponies and we did lots of pony things together. She was game for anything and we did everything and had such a lot of fun together. I missed her so much, I still do, and although I own another 20 odd horses, none of them have what we had together. I do still ride, just not with as much enthusiasm and last year I could take or leave riding tbqh. This year however, I do feel different and I am really looking forward to getting out on the trails riding as soon as this darned ice melts. I've wondered if it's because I can't do it, that makes me want to!
Click to expand...

Your little mare sounds so similar to mine. The fact that you have so many horses just shows how special certain ones are to us and how rare. I am glad you got your enthusiasm back. I envy the countryside you have there. We are so close to a main road our hacking is pretty non existent. I do miss that.

Honey08 said:
You're tired and worn out emotionally and probably physically. You deserve a break. Tell people you're enjoying having a break for a few months. Tell them you're feeling under the weather and worn out, so don't need any extra exercise at the moment! I bet when you get nearer the time to break your young lady in you'll be loving riding again. It will come back. Its in you, who you are! I had ten years off and got right back into it. In fact I think I rode better when I came back!
Click to expand...

That's encouraging! I think I need to get straightened out by the chiro though as riding was really good for my sacroiliac dysfunction. The doctor said it was the best exercise for me as it kept me straight. I will have a lot of crookedness to sort out before I get back on board.
 
I think you have probally got a lot of things going on.
Losing your mare
Having sole charge of eight horses and this is the time of year when your battery's are getting short of charge .
I have felt this I don't want to ride thing a few times( I unlike you I don't have hours of back breaking care to do.) so what I do won't I think be the best thing to do I make myself ride and push myself through it .
On the horse you don't like to ride I think you need to explain to the owner gently how you feel she is probally being kind and trying to get you going .
I love Fatty dearly but I don't like riding him .
Wagtail I don't know how old you are I assume your a fair bit younger than I am and I know you have got a youngster but don't assume that you can just get on and get going again just like that as you get older you need to keep doing what you are doing or esle it's a hard fight to get back to where you where .
If I where you I would set myself a goal of riding say twenty minutes twice a week
until the end of the season ( assuming there's a horse to ride ).
I had to get through when I felt like not riding as MrGS has always been very clear he won't support me in spending a fortune on horses who are doing nothing so to save my pals going down the road I had to get on with it .
 
Goldenstar said:
I think you have probally got a lot of things going on.
Losing your mare
Having sole charge of eight horses and this is the time of year when your battery's are getting short of charge .
I have felt this I don't want to ride thing a few times( I unlike you I don't have hours of back breaking care to do.) so what I do won't I think be the best thing to do I make myself ride and push myself through it .
On the horse you don't like to ride I think you need to explain to the owner gently how you feel she is probally being kind and trying to get you going .
I love Fatty dearly but I don't like riding him .
Wagtail I don't know how old you are I assume your a fair bit younger than I am and I know you have got a youngster but don't assume that you can just get on and get going again just like that as you get older you need to keep doing what you are doing or esle it's a hard fight to get back to where you where .
If I where you I would set myself a goal of riding say twenty minutes twice a week
until the end of the season ( assuming there's a horse to ride ).
I had to get through when I felt like not riding as MrGS has always been very clear he won't support me in spending a fortune on horses who are doing nothing so to save my pals going down the road I had to get on with it .
Click to expand...

Thank you GS. It was the mother of one of my liveries (who is a fair it older than me) who said 'use it or lose it.' She said when she was my age she stopped riding when her daughter's competition career took off and now when she gets on a horse she can hardly ride and feels awful for days. I know when I am riding I am very conscious of remaining straight, whereas when I am sitting, driving, mucking out etc I am very one sided and part of me worries about how long it will take to get back to riding fitness. I certainly intend to do plenty of riding before backing my youngster.
 
I was midway through the backing process when my little girl died. She was 39 so I imagine the grief was somewhat less than you feel now, but never the less I loved her and she wasn't ready to go (her eye ruptured through an ulcer that wouldn't heal and at 39 removal wasn't an option). I lost my 16 year old dog just months before so was already grieving fory best friend. I chucked my boy out in the field, gave him hugs and cuddles and cried into his neck and didn't get back on him for 6 months. Riding when I felt like that wouldn't have been fair to him. Don't pressure yourself, there will come a day when you are desperate to get back on, until that happens just give yourself a break.
 
Wagtail said:
Since I lost my mare, who I loved so much and I am still grieving quite badly. I have never been anywhere near this bad when an animal has died before. I am functioning well and running my yard. All horses are well cared for and loved. I have a new filly who is just amazing, but I don't want to ride any more! I especially don't want to ride one horse whose owner keeps trying to get me to ride. I am worn out from single handedly caring for 8 horses and riding just leaves me exhausted with no energy left for all the chores I have to do. In fact I haven't PROPERLY ridden for 6 months other than a 15 minute sit on a fabulous dressage horse. So I am worried I will 'lose it' but don't feel I should ride unless I get my mojo back.

But even though I keep telling people I do not intend to ride again until the Spring why does one person keep trying to get me to ride her horse? I have never liked riding him and never will. If I do decide to ride a horse it will be one that does not have his issues. But I don't want to hurt her feelings. I love the horse, but just hate riding him :(

And then I worry that I'll never want to ride again. I wonder if I bought a 2 year old just to put off having to ride again. If I had my old mare back I would want to ride, but other than her, I just don't want to any more. Has anyone else ever fet like this, and did you get over it?
Click to expand...
Its normal to feel like this I felt a bit the same when my first mare was pts, I did have my Sisters youngster I was riding at the time so felt like I just had to get on with it, and for a while I just missed her so much and riding him was a bit of a chore, but I think without having him I would have felt much worse and I learnt to really love him and my Sister gave him to me a few months down the line, I wouldnt be without him now love him to bits so believe me you will get it back just give yourself time x
 
I've been through this, but not caused by the loss of a horse but a particularly bad yard situation where I lost confidence in all areas of my life. Not only the horsey bit! I kept the plot together for my old girl who needs regular gentle exrecise, but my lovely ex racer just got shoved on the walker or anything else rather than ride him, through no fault of his own. Happily a yard and people change got me back on track and despite being chivvied along and pushed by people previously to no effect, I just started when I felt better. It was a decision that nobody else could have made for me, I just evolved and got back on. Don't beat yourself up, it's your choice and it sounds like you are doing a great job of looking after the horses in your care so you have nothing to apologise for. Look after yourself.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top