Awful news and I am really sorry. As you get older you grieve much more than their loss, so I completely get what you mean. Don't give up your dreams. I started again at 58 after a very unexpected and dreadful loss. I hope you too will smile from up on top again xxx
If only everyone were this brave, to put their horse before themselves? I’m so sorry for your loss, but it sounds like you did absolutely the right thing for your beloved boy
Sometimes, you have no choice but to make the call then and there.
Sometimes, you just have to do what you can, then (kindly) do what you did: look at the options, the reality, the outcome and the fairness to the animal and (however hard it is to do) make the decision you made.