I lost my Spud.

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misst

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I'm so very sorry. I understand the whole loss of everything along with all the future plans. Sending real sympathy and and an RIP Spud x
 
poiuytrewq

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I think this is one of the most hard hitting loosing a horse thread I’ve read in ages.
I really feel for you and I really really admire the fact that you chose this option when you could have done a long box rest. Horses live for the moment and you took yourself out of the equation and put him 100% first which is admirable
 
Equi

Equi

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poiuytrewq said:
I think this is one of the most hard hitting loosing a horse thread I’ve read in ages.
I really feel for you and I really really admire the fact that you chose this option when you could have done a long box rest. Horses live for the moment and you took yourself out of the equation and put him 100% first which is admirable
Click to expand...

Sorry for reviving this thread, its not really necessary but i just had a look at it and realized i missed so many replies cause i just could not look at it at the time. Thankyou P for saying this, it really touched me. I felt for a long time (and still sort of feel) like i made the decision selfishly..because i could not cope with it anymore. I could not cope with the financial output, the emotional strain or the constant worry every day of turning up to the yard to see if he was lame or not. When i think back on it i realize how much stress it was. Literally every day i would watch him like a hawk to see if he looked ok or not...vet was always on speed dial. Ive now reached a point i almost feel guilty for letting him go on so long despite the fact he was good on most days, great on others, and just not ok on some.

I struggled to post about him much because i was always waiting on the "you're being cruel why is he still alive" comments. But i also realize that i did what i could for him, kept him as comfortable and pain free as i was able to and he had a decent later life with me. Compared to how his journey with me started, im very happy to say he went out of life a different horse.

When i got him his ribs could be counted. He had no stamina. He was a shell of a horse. Over the years he grew both in confidence and body and taught me more than any horse has ever or possibly will ever teach me. I knew not long after i bought him he had a bone fragment near the ligament and that eventually it would snap it, it was always a thing that was to come, it just happened to be then. On his last day i couldn't be there. i had work and could not get off on short notice and also i did not want to be there, and thats not something i feel guilty about at all. My wonderful YO was there and im eternally grateful to her for that...she loved him too so it can't have been easy. But its something i would do back for her if required..im ok with death and bodies etc but for Spud i just could not. Id never have been able to get over it.

A few days later she text me checking how i was etc and told me that if im ready for it she has a really funny story to share. On the morning of, Spud decided he was a mustang (very high on drugs might i add) She could not catch him, he was racing about like a wild animal having a great time bucking and farting about the fields* (got out of his own and went on the rampage) This is not at all Spuds behaviour so YO was loving it. Finally got someone up to help get him and his rampaging field mate. She did say she told vet and made him aware that she might not be letting him PTS. On bringing him out of the stable he only had three legs..just about got him far enough out of the stable to do the deed without needing to demolish a wall to get his body out.

I adore the fact that my beautiful chilled well behaved boy went for a good ole run about. He was in super condition at the time, he looked amazing, nowhere near looking his age. He went out with his heart singing. Im not sure why im posting this or what reaction i will get, but its just something i wanted to do.

First few photos are him when he came. Then some nicer ones. 14315673_10153888746211966_251343904_o.jpgjed skinny 2.jpgjed_ears.jpgjed_fave.jpg132503886_10222222404726517_5300620376891444594_n.jpg20246468_10211864308420583_1854194455298106315_n.jpg13987512_10208614177249335_2164268371191788544_o.jpg

God i miss him.
 
Season’s Bleatings

Season’s Bleatings

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Lovely boy and a very lucky boy to have had such a caring, selfless owner who put his needs ahead of theirs. He had very clearly flourished in your care ?
I think you lost him the same weekend we lost our mad little mare. We still miss her hugely too, they become very conspicuous in their absence.

ps I think I recognise the yard in the pic near the bottom, is it near Saintfield?
 
poiuytrewq

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Oh Equi, I remember this so well. Your words really broke my heart.
Love that he had a final hoolie! A naughty moment ?
My most beloved horse dragged me across the field like a rag doll in his final hours. I love that! He did it constantly when we both were young and it was like his last bash at pissing me off ?
Hope your doing ok xx
 
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Equi said:
The last two weeks have been absolute hell. Spud got his hocks injected and vet commented that he was moving so much better lately (thanks to science supplements) and the hocks were going great, he was full of beans and i thought wow we are going to have a really nice summer. A few days later he became very lame, abscess lame. Vet out and delivered the devastating news that he had wrecked his suspensory ligament. At his age and with the issues he already has in the area (a bone fragment from an old injury) the prognosis was very poor but we would only know after at least 3-6months total box rest. I couldn't do that to my boy..i could not have him in a stable for 6 months just to retire, knowing he would become very stiff and need more injections just to stay comfortable to stand in a box. So i said goodbye.

Ive lost horses before, its always hard. But this one has hit me like a tonne of bricks. Im grieving for the loss of my way of life, my confidence and my friends because the prices at the moment prevent me from even looking at any horses. Im really struggling.

Goodbye spud, you were quite simply the best. I know we will meet again my love.
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I am so very very sorry.
 
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Thank you for sharing the story of his last hours - he certainly went out with a bang and that would have given me a very good memory to smile about.
 
ycbm

ycbm

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Equi said:
Sorry for reviving this thread, its not really necessary but i just had a look at it and realized i missed so many replies cause i just could not look at it at the time. Thankyou P for saying this, it really touched me. I felt for a long time (and still sort of feel) like i made the decision selfishly..because i could not cope with it anymore. I could not cope with the financial output, the emotional strain or the constant worry every day of turning up to the yard to see if he was lame or not. When i think back on it i realize how much stress it was. Literally every day i would watch him like a hawk to see if he looked ok or not...vet was always on speed dial. Ive now reached a point i almost feel guilty for letting him go on so long despite the fact he was good on most days, great on others, and just not ok on some.

I struggled to post about him much because i was always waiting on the "you're being cruel why is he still alive" comments. But i also realize that i did what i could for him, kept him as comfortable and pain free as i was able to and he had a decent later life with me. Compared to how his journey with me started, im very happy to say he went out of life a different horse.

When i got him his ribs could be counted. He had no stamina. He was a shell of a horse. Over the years he grew both in confidence and body and taught me more than any horse has ever or possibly will ever teach me. I knew not long after i bought him he had a bone fragment near the ligament and that eventually it would snap it, it was always a thing that was to come, it just happened to be then. On his last day i couldn't be there. i had work and could not get off on short notice and also i did not want to be there, and thats not something i feel guilty about at all. My wonderful YO was there and im eternally grateful to her for that...she loved him too so it can't have been easy. But its something i would do back for her if required..im ok with death and bodies etc but for Spud i just could not. Id never have been able to get over it.

A few days later she text me checking how i was etc and told me that if im ready for it she has a really funny story to share. On the morning of, Spud decided he was a mustang (very high on drugs might i add) She could not catch him, he was racing about like a wild animal having a great time bucking and farting about the fields* (got out of his own and went on the rampage) This is not at all Spuds behaviour so YO was loving it. Finally got someone up to help get him and his rampaging field mate. She did say she told vet and made him aware that she might not be letting him PTS. On bringing him out of the stable he only had three legs..just about got him far enough out of the stable to do the deed without needing to demolish a wall to get his body out.

I adore the fact that my beautiful chilled well behaved boy went for a good ole run about. He was in super condition at the time, he looked amazing, nowhere near looking his age. He went out with his heart singing. Im not sure why im posting this or what reaction i will get, but its just something i wanted to do.

First few photos are him when he came. Then some nicer ones. View attachment 78105View attachment 78107View attachment 78108View attachment 78109View attachment 78110View attachment 78111View attachment 78112

God i miss him.
Click to expand...


What a dude he was!
.
 
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