I need some advice please

Lancelot said:
I don't often post but your bravery has really moved me.
I agree that buying your own horse at this stage might not be best idea for you or the potential horse but, as Churchill said, "There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.” :)
When I returned to horses I found a place that took you out on escorted hacks. I rode numerous different horses there until I eventually rode the most wonderful horse ever!! I could have cried when we got back to the yard, he was perfect and we totally clicked in a way I hadn't with any of the others & I always asked for him after that.
If you could return to riding in this way, through a school or, as others have said, through therapy riding, it would allow you to find that perfect partner without pressure. It would be a great shame to buy the wrong horse, have your confidence knocked and set you back further.
I wish you all the very best & please do keep us updated on where this all takes you :)
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I wish for this too... I had hoped that if I get used to my horse at first and walk with him/her for the first few months we could get used to each other but I realise now that I have some more work to do on myself before I can take this step. I am so glad I have found you guys because I know that there are poeple here who will tell me when I might be missing something important.

Ps. Please dont think I need people to be kind to me or else I will fall apart lol. I am quite a strong minded person, its just, the move, the end of my work here and all that has made me feel a little sensitive. Ill be totally normal again tomorrow ;)
 
YorksG said:
I agree with the RDA idea, as a volunteer and maybe ask if you can ride one of their horses. I work with adults abused in childhood and thank you for your post. To those who feel such stories should not be told, that is exactly how abuse continues to be perpetrated, by the rest of the world not wanting to know!
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Yes, you are so right. It is such a difficult subject for many...
 
diamonddogs, im sorry you too have lost some confidence, but Im also glad I am not alone!
I am looking forward to reading more from you (and everyone else) I wonder if it might help us to share our fear (well for me it is fear anyway)
Hopefully I will see you around the boards :)

Goldenstar, thank you :)

Magnetic Sparrow, I do like it here. In Germany we have a saying which goes "Wo menschen sind da menschelt es" Which means something like "Where there are humans there will be human beingness" ;)

Tarrsteps, will take a look at that section thanks. I think the charity route is a great idea and I have also written to two organisations who offer therapy riding sessions for the disabled. I feel hopeful :)

I have had the same problem that I have with horses with dogs but I have overcome it and now own a rottie and german shepard cross, the rottie especially is huge and very powerful. But I overcome my fear and we are incredibly close now. Both need a strong leader, which I can be and usually are. I think I just need to take little baby steps and I will get there.

See you all around the boards hopefully xxx Good night.
 
It is not unacceptable to have those problems and I genuinely don't want to shame you just make you think a little about how you post stories like that, they can be triggers for people who have suffered similar abuse and you should really post a warning so people can chose not to read if it will upset them. I also incidentally agree that there was rather too much personal information, it can put you in danger in an open forum like this.

I am glad you are listening to people, I think buying a horse at this stage would be a poor decision, riding therapy would be the route I would go.
 
YorksG said:
I agree with the RDA idea, as a volunteer and maybe ask if you can ride one of their horses. I work with adults abused in childhood and thank you for your post. To those who feel such stories should not be told, that is exactly how abuse continues to be perpetrated, by the rest of the world not wanting to know!
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This is so true :(

Personally, I would also be slightly wary of helping out at a rescue centre, as this may just be too much for you at this early stage. Yes, it might help you heal, but it might set you back, and I don't think it is worth the risk. RDA is an excellent idea. 'Disability' takes many forms, and not of them are physical ....................... xx
 
Yes, I do feel my spirit is disabled.... disabled from being free. I am still stuck in the past.
Dont get me wrong I have a very responsible job, with people trusting me with their Selves, and I am good at what I do (or good enough) but when it comes to my own past, my own hurt. It is a different story...

Im sure many can relate....
 
Hi, and welcome to HHO! I hope you have a real development in your healing when you start your riding again, I would agree that horses are very moving beasts.

Backing up what others have said I think you will enjoy it all so much more if you gain experience before buying your own. A good riding school may well be able to help, but I would definitely start with private lessons.

If I were your trainer I would personally like to know some of your background so I can help you best. Just the sort of detail you have done in your original post. It would help me to know that emotions may run high. If your prospective trainer does not wish to know the sort of brief details you have provided then I would hazard that they may not be the trainer that you need right now.

This information and a discussion with you personally may help us decide if you would prefer to come when it is busy with people, or after normal business hours when it is quiet. We could discuss if you would like to just ride, or spend the first session hanging out in the stable. I guess even you will not know how you will feel it could be anything from wizzing round on a horse laughing in delight to spending the hour crying into a mane.

As a trainer I have had both scenarios and just about every situation in between! As a trainer reading your words though, I would possibly feel more comfortable if someone picked you up, in case you are very affected and I would fear you not to be safe to drive.

I hope you have a wonderful time and find fun!
 
I didn't want to read and run hoffnung. Your thread has greatly moved me but I'm useless at giving advice as the words won't come out. However please accept hugs and kind thoughts. xx
 
What a horrid time you have had and well done for turning things around for yourself. I wonder whether, when you are ready to get a horse, you actually want to get something to ride or whether you would be equally happy to get a retired oldie to give a lot of love and affection to in his twighlight years. There are so many older horses that get discarded but could be just the right way to get you back into the horse world wihout the pressure of getting on board. Good luck with the move.
 
What a great idea! There are loads of rescues looking for foster homes for companions, so that could work for you too. Might you have your own land when you relocate? If you did, you could get a riding horse later (but you'd probably have to get another companion as a companion for the companion while you're riding the riding horse!)
 
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