SatansLittleHelper
Well-Known Member
I have nothing to add to what's already been said but...Badger is lovely ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
I need to rant!
- Thread starter J_sarahd
- Start date
J_sarahd
Well-Known Member
Honestly, she’s awful. I remember when we used to do shows in the summer and we would watch other classes and I’d say which horses I thought were nice and she would point out something wrong with them. No matter what type they were. There was always something wrong
J_sarahd
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I’ve met my fair share of horrible horse people and I would say I am fairly thick skinned. But you’re right, I’ve learnt even more about the horse world and the people in it.
I’m just sad that Badger isn’t going to go down the same path as Max in that I won’t do showing with Badger. I enjoyed it with Max because he aced M&M classes in ridden and workers. But with Badger, I’m focusing on showjumping and dressage - two things Max was not good at!!
That’s the thing; when I was part loaning Max, his owner was quite demanding. If we went to a show, she would say we need to be at the yard for 6.30am say and would be so annoyed if I was late. But she was frequently very late, to the point where we would often have to collect her en route. Oh, and she kept telling me how to ride him even though she only hacked him. I’m not going to miss that at all. Now the only person who can tell me what to do with Badger is my YM who is also my instructor!
J_sarahd
Well-Known Member
Thank you! So is Bailey!
Yokosmom
Well-Known Member
Badger keeps getting cuter in every photo.
J_sarahd
Well-Known Member
GreenRider
Member
I am a friend of the other rider and although I have never met you I wanted to just give another side to what happened (as heard from my friend). My friend has been really upset by this situation so has told our group of friends what has been happening. She found this post when the owner told her it existed and was upset by what was said and how the situation has been portrayed so I asked her for her side so I could give an account of the other side of the story.
From the owner’s point of view she had a horse who won M&M working hunter champion of Great Britain a few years ago and didn’t refuse fences (although it sounds like he has always been a typical welsh). However over time he developed a bad reputation. My friend was warned that he could rush in canter, tank into jumps, didn’t like the left rein, was spooky etc. When my friend started riding she found his canter was a bit unbalanced but fine on both reins and he didn’t live up to his supposed bad reputation. After taking him jumping they found that he didn’t refuse much at all and got his confidence from his rider.
It was also mentioned that not only did you and my friend not have to pay any financial contribution to ride the horse but you also didn’t do any chores like poo picking etc. as his owner just wanted him in work and happy. The owner was happy to drive you to places you wanted to go to train/compete, even though some apparently ended in tears due to issues with refusals. It sounds like the owner started to think that maybe her horse was just being naughty.
After previous bad experiences the owner was worried about going to Aylesford and so asked my friend to come along, so if problems occurred she could see what was happening and then you could both work on this. When she got to Aylesford the horse was refusing lots of jumps, including those he had already been over seconds before. So the owner asked my friend to ride and there were then no problems and no refusals. For you to then say that it was all the horse’s fault for refusing (when he was fine with the other rider) is what probably made the owner angry. It sounds like it didn’t end in the nicest way and I know my friend felt really bad about what happened despite how rude you were to her. She suffered anxiety and got upset on multiple occasions due to messages you sent her. Including warning her that she should be careful she didn’t ruin and undo all the hard work you had put into the horse. I understand that this is also just the story from her point of view and so I am sure certain things won’t be 100% accurate and things may be remembered differently.
From the owner’s point of view she had a horse who won M&M working hunter champion of Great Britain a few years ago and didn’t refuse fences (although it sounds like he has always been a typical welsh). However over time he developed a bad reputation. My friend was warned that he could rush in canter, tank into jumps, didn’t like the left rein, was spooky etc. When my friend started riding she found his canter was a bit unbalanced but fine on both reins and he didn’t live up to his supposed bad reputation. After taking him jumping they found that he didn’t refuse much at all and got his confidence from his rider.
It was also mentioned that not only did you and my friend not have to pay any financial contribution to ride the horse but you also didn’t do any chores like poo picking etc. as his owner just wanted him in work and happy. The owner was happy to drive you to places you wanted to go to train/compete, even though some apparently ended in tears due to issues with refusals. It sounds like the owner started to think that maybe her horse was just being naughty.
After previous bad experiences the owner was worried about going to Aylesford and so asked my friend to come along, so if problems occurred she could see what was happening and then you could both work on this. When she got to Aylesford the horse was refusing lots of jumps, including those he had already been over seconds before. So the owner asked my friend to ride and there were then no problems and no refusals. For you to then say that it was all the horse’s fault for refusing (when he was fine with the other rider) is what probably made the owner angry. It sounds like it didn’t end in the nicest way and I know my friend felt really bad about what happened despite how rude you were to her. She suffered anxiety and got upset on multiple occasions due to messages you sent her. Including warning her that she should be careful she didn’t ruin and undo all the hard work you had put into the horse. I understand that this is also just the story from her point of view and so I am sure certain things won’t be 100% accurate and things may be remembered differently.
vmac66
Well-Known Member
Nothing to add but Badger looks like a real sweetie. Enjoy him x
SpringArising
Well-Known Member
How old are you OP?
JFTDWS
Well-Known Member
And that, folks, is why they say you shouldn't write anything on the internet which you wouldn't be happy for anyone to read - including the person you're talking about!
Small world, and all that...
Small world, and all that...
CavaloBranco
Well-Known Member
There are 2 sides to every story....but is a public forum the best place to broadcast them? Why not continue it privately? "Least said" and all that.
VRIN
Well-Known Member
I think you need to start a new post - about Badger - and put the rest behind you. Move forwards - don't keep looking backwards...
Red-1
I used to be decisive, now I'm not so sure...
Yep, it sounds like the situations I gave on my earlier reply. Outings have to be fun for the owner or the rider does not get invited back. Such as OP having to be on the yard for a certain time, sounds reasonable, as does picking the owner up on the way.
People would occasionally compete Charlie Horse even when I was not there, if it was local and he would enjoy being hacked there for a social outing. I would be really unhappy if they portrayed that as they had been hard done to. It was a privilege to ride or compete my horse, and if people did not treat it as such then they were not welcome. If they did not stay good natured when things did not go their way then the same.
The difference would be that I just did not invite them back, there was no shouting, as I said, shouting at OP is not acceptable.
I can quite understand why someone has now replied to give the other side. I can see why the other rider found it all upsetting. I can see why people would be defensive of the horse being criticised when the horse did fine with a different rider.
The only thing that worries me is that it was not the owner commenting. If I were the owner I would be even more unhappy that the loaners of my horse were squabbling in public on a forum where the posts can't even be removed, and by name too. Turns what was supposed to be a privilege and pleasure (being as all expenses were paid) into a bit of a nightmare TBH.
People would occasionally compete Charlie Horse even when I was not there, if it was local and he would enjoy being hacked there for a social outing. I would be really unhappy if they portrayed that as they had been hard done to. It was a privilege to ride or compete my horse, and if people did not treat it as such then they were not welcome. If they did not stay good natured when things did not go their way then the same.
The difference would be that I just did not invite them back, there was no shouting, as I said, shouting at OP is not acceptable.
I can quite understand why someone has now replied to give the other side. I can see why the other rider found it all upsetting. I can see why people would be defensive of the horse being criticised when the horse did fine with a different rider.
The only thing that worries me is that it was not the owner commenting. If I were the owner I would be even more unhappy that the loaners of my horse were squabbling in public on a forum where the posts can't even be removed, and by name too. Turns what was supposed to be a privilege and pleasure (being as all expenses were paid) into a bit of a nightmare TBH.
blitznbobs
Well-Known Member
#firstworldproblems
ester
Not slacking multitasking
This, especially friends of friends getting involved.
EllenJay
Well-Known Member
I'm not sure what this is adding to the thread. As far as I can see a loan/share horse didn't work out. The owner, it appears, didn't have the guts to say "I don't like how you are riding my pony and therefore am getting someone else to ride" which through underhand methods left the original rider feeling bad. As far as I can see, all this bad feeling is totally down to the owner. You actually say that the owner didn't expect jobs to be done or payment to be made and just wanted the horse to be ridden - so why say, it that rather degotory way that the original sharer didn't do poo picking?
And to be honest, if your "friend" is upset about this post, why didn't they join the forum to refute the post in their own voice rather that get their "2friend" to comment.
If the owner was worried about the way the OP was riding, why didn't the mentioned/deal with the issues on a training ground, rather than at a competition?
Personally I think the owner has behaved badly, and can understand why the OP is upset.
If you are truly a friend of the second rider, then you need to talk to them about the owners behaviour and warn them about being too attached to the pony -I think they will be treated in the same manner down the road.
FestiveFuzz
Well-Known Member
I did wonder how long it'd be before we saw a reply from the other side of the fence.
FWIW I don't think either side is covering themselves in glory here, especially now friends of friends are getting involved. If anyone were to respond I would have expected it to be the owner, but equally I can totally understand why they might not want to air their dirty laundry on a public forum.
That said, I do remember previous posts about Max and if I recall correctly, even then the owner had concerns that the OP's inexperience might be causing some of the issues she was encountering. But the OP disagreed and decided to buy her own horse instead which is when the relationship seemed to fully breakdown.
I can well imagine the owner being quite frustrated and upset that their previously successful horse was now getting a bad rep because it didn't gel with a particular rider. And let's face it the OP has made herself and the horse pretty identifiable from her posts! So I can understand why tempers flared, and why the owner may be concerned that if OP doesn't accept advice along the way she may encounter similar issues with the next horse.
At this point it sounds like all parties need to draw a line in the sand and move on at this point rather than dwelling on the past.
FWIW I don't think either side is covering themselves in glory here, especially now friends of friends are getting involved. If anyone were to respond I would have expected it to be the owner, but equally I can totally understand why they might not want to air their dirty laundry on a public forum.
That said, I do remember previous posts about Max and if I recall correctly, even then the owner had concerns that the OP's inexperience might be causing some of the issues she was encountering. But the OP disagreed and decided to buy her own horse instead which is when the relationship seemed to fully breakdown.
I can well imagine the owner being quite frustrated and upset that their previously successful horse was now getting a bad rep because it didn't gel with a particular rider. And let's face it the OP has made herself and the horse pretty identifiable from her posts! So I can understand why tempers flared, and why the owner may be concerned that if OP doesn't accept advice along the way she may encounter similar issues with the next horse.
At this point it sounds like all parties need to draw a line in the sand and move on at this point rather than dwelling on the past.
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Floxie
Well-Known Member
We're on the Horse and Hound forums - every single issue is a #firstworldproblem
(excluding posts about PFK)
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
Just let it go you can’t change the way Max’s owner behaves so move on .
Remember happiness is the best revenge.
Remember happiness is the best revenge.
skint1
Well-Known Member
Badger is lovely, enjoy him and leave the past behind you. I have known a few people who have serial riders and sharers for their horses and unless it is just an ad-hoc thing, it never ends well for the rider. You can be pretty certain that the current rider will eventually be where you were, but you know what, by the time that happens you probably won't care because you'll be out enjoying your horse!