I think I have ruined my child!! (long sorry)

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indiat

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Regular users may remember me asking if my child was too young for pony a while back. My beloved daughter has now thrown up another problem - she is scared of ponies but not horses! To explain - I have a really lovely middleweight cob mare whom my daughter has grown up with. The mare has thrown her a few curve balls such as being a lazy so and so and nappy to boot, but my daughter has learned to cope with all these problems and rides her with confidence. But when her riding instructor puts her on a pony she gets very tense and nervous and the lessons don't go half as well as when she is fooling around with my old girl in the arena. Today they put her on a 14h pony as all the little ones were booked up for a trek and her instructor said it was like watching a different child. The two of them flew over jumps and behaved like a couple of old pros. We talked to her after the lesson and she admitted that ponies scare her as they feel like they are going too fast. She likes the slower loping pace of a horse! The problem is she is only seven years old. She is sooo confident on my old girl and has even ridden her in fun shows (they won first prize recently) that my non-horsey husband has now suggested we buy either a 14.2 or 15h horse for me, as I really would like some thing younger to go further with, and give my old girl to my daughter in the meantime! But she's tiny!! Husband is saying it doesn't matter as long as she is happy and confident. Can I stress she is not allowed to school or hack on her own and NEVER on the road where there is traffic. The staff and liveries are used to seeing her stroll around on Velvet and school her in the arena but a parent was muttering near me in the fun show about how irresponsible it was to let her ride a horse that big (I was so pleased when she won, it really shut him up). We are all so used to big, gentle old Velvet are we just being blind to a really dangerous situation? Sorry if the answer is really obvious, Velvet is my first horse and I haven't come from a horsey family. My daughter is now pleading for Velvet to be turned over to her and my husband is saying that at least we won't have to sell a pony on in a few years time and break her heart. She wants to learn to jump, which Velvet cannot do because of her arthritis so we would be looking for another cob with an easy oasy attitude that could do a bit more for when she is older. She is eight in January and tall for her age. Sorry if I sound like a plank!
 
Could you get her a small Cob Type pony, about 13.2hh? That way it would be smaller but will still feel quite cobby. It would probably still be to big for her but not as big as Velvet is.
 
Why look a gift horse in the mouth - let your daughter have what she is happy with - the horse probably is aware of her "littleness" and is being considerate to her. If she is happy and confident why force her onto something she does not want to do. Only issue is if she wants to get into serious jumping on your other horse as she will have to miss out on all the 13.2 and 14.2 comps
 
i think it sounds ok

but
if she wants to learn to jump then why cant she have more lessons on the pony she had 2day while she is still rather small and ride your mare the rest of time?
then you dont need to worry that your next horse needs to be jumped by a 7yo
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I don't see any issue with the size, it's how she feels and the nature of the horse. I have never ridden a pony as a child as I was tall. My first ride was on a 14.2hh and at 7 I regularly pottered about on a 16hh horse at the local RS
I often taught a 6 year old on my ex racer as she thought her own pony was too fast! He knew when she was on him and was a quiet as a lamb
 
I advise that it is a very good idea letting your daughter have your horse Velvet
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Who cares what others think, riding should be fun and definately safe where our children are concerned.
My daughter who is slightly older is very much the same, she rides on accassion my 3 year old 15hh horse and feels very very safe on her. If a horse that does not fit into the stereotypical ideal is what makes your daughter happy-then go with it.
Confidence is a precious thing and I very much understand the thing about childrens ponies being fast and sharper. When she is ready to move onto something else you will know and size should not come into it.
 
i think she should have velvet !!
having just moved back from spain all the kids there ride 15hh
upwards even at the riding schools
and there all happy.
sometimes ponys are soooooo much harder to ride
good luck
 
Well, I hated ponies at that age too. For that very same reason - they seemed too fast and whizzy. I always wanted to ride the bigger ponies or horses as I felt safer, especialy when we were jumping.

I'm afraid if it was me I would let her have Velvet and get yourself another horse to share as she gets older, but I don't have horsey kids and I'm sure other people on here who do will have advice for you
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ditto
I have a 14.3 fully feathered cob and my didi daughters 11 and 8 ride him with confidence. my 11 old jumps him and says hes like a rocking horse.

same as you, theyd never go on the road or be alone, but that more of a sensible mum thing. id never let my 8yr old off lead rein on 11.2 welsh loan pony, but have no issues with bob.

the only thing im finding is lead rein and first ridden fun shows have a restriction of under 13hh ponies and cobs riders must be over 15.
 
Sounds like a good plan to me if you know the horse and your daughter isn't riding unsupervised.

From what I know of riding in other countries the English are quite unsual in putting children on small ponies. Don't many other cultures that don't have native ponies put children straight onto horses? (Apologies if i'm way off on this one)
 
How big is velvet? Is there a massive difference with a 14.2?

Personally I would get your daughter to carry on at RS getting experience on a range of horses & ponies, and let her do things with Velvet in the mean time.

I know as a pony mad child I would have gone mad for my own, but being a RS rider did me the world of good and exposed me to far more variety: which I needed, as a bit of a nervous child. If there is a danger she could rely on velvet and lose all faith in any other horses, it could be a step backwards, if that makes any sense?
 
Let her ride Velvet, as long as you are all happy with it. I just got my 11 year ols son a 16 year old 15 hand TB mare, he had been riding her in RS for 6 months and thay just gelled and got on so well, he also finds ponies too full of fizz
 
Yes,
I think your right on this one, though some tribes people have small ponies like Mongolians and Icelandic ponies though they are still probably a stocky 13hh high. In America they have smaller ones breed Pony of the Americas.
Generelly though in Arabic countries, horses are usually 14.2 hh plus.
 
Thank you all! I've been doubting myself because my parents and other non horsey paretns who bring their kids for lessons at the yard are totally horrified. One parent even went as far as to complain at the office, saying it was an accident waiting to happen. I've been feeling like a bad parent even though the two are happy together. Handing the old girl over felt like a step too far, but my daughter is genuinly scared of ponies. Every time she is put on some thing smaller, her legs tell them to go but her hands tense up and put the brakes on at the same time - you can imagine the results she gets! it has only been making her feel worse. I felt awful when she was explaining it today. My mother loves to take photos and all the pictures we have of her in lessons she looks tense and very serious, all the pictures we have of her on Velvet she looks relaxed and she is smiling. THAT makes me feel like a bad mother too, that I never noticed the obvious problem!
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As for competing, we livery at a PC centre so she could borrow the little coblet she had today when she gets older and more confident for competitive shows. At the moment she is riding Velvet in fun shows,fancy dress, best tail, best child handler, that kind of thing, which she seems happy enough with at the moment. Any horse we would look to buy would be a younger version of Velvet who is a star (despite her quirks). The yard doesn't have any vacancies at the moment so we won't be looking until the spring.
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Velvet is 15h so no, there wasn't a huge amount of difference. I do agree with you about getting exerpeince on a variety of horses so she will be keeping up her regular riding lessons and riding the school ponies. Her instructor is now thinking of putting her on the bigger ones so she gets moe from her lessons. I do agree its bad to get too dependent on one horse only. We were looking to buy her a pony so she could get more time in the saddle but it seems what she really wants is Velvet!
 
I was one of those kids that wasn't a big fan of ponies! I was on horses from age of 8, my first loan aged 10 was 15hh. I just found it more comfortable, I think as long as daughter is happy and you trust the horse it's fine. One idea though what about something like a Fjord, JoBo on here has a 14hh Fjord and he really does ride like a horse, lovely horse
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Still be a bit big but if you get a good one then your sorted. Jobo knows the dealer she got hers from if your anywhere near kent
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QR If she feels safer she's less likly to come off anyway! But you do get the odd little 'un that rides like a horse so maybe you could keep a look out because then your daughter will be able to do more around the stable with it that something bigger.
 
If your daughter is happy on your old mare then let her ride her for the time being. When her confidence grows and she maybe wants to do more then think again but let her ride what she is happy on and don't force her onto anything she is unhappy about.

My daughter has always ridden what we have had had at home usually homebred. As an adult she competes at top level on a 11.3 M&M. At 9 was riding our 16.3 ID mare and hunted and jumped her. They were very happy together and the mare looked after her small rider very well. She has gone back to ponies now which she loves and a 14hh is the biggest she rides now.
 
I didn't consider a Fjord! Would I be able to ride it too? I'm five foot six and 10.5 stone. I'd be worried I'd look silly on some thing less than 15 hands although her instructor reckons I would get away with 14.2 on a chunky weight carrier.
 
As wildwest said, in Spain the kids learn to ride on horses straight away - the only pony on my old yard could only be ridden by competent teenage lightweights.

This is a totally genuine photo of a girl called Esther, aged six, with the horse her parents bought her - a PRE stallion called Aguacate. She was so small someone else had to to tack up for her - see the stirrup length! She did classes with all the other kids on him.

estheraguacate-1-1.jpg
 
I think the most important elements with kids riding are that the kid is safe, is enjoying it and that she isn't in undue danger- you know and trust velvet and more importantly so does your daughter so I absolutely agree with your OH on this one
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Piccies soon please
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When I was 10 I was small enough for people to mistake me for about 5yrs old... I used to hack out my instructors 17.1hh showjumper
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If she's comfortable with something bigger, I don't see why it would be a problem?

But damn, wish I had a PRE when I was 6! o.o
 
I think you're absolutely right to let her ride your old mare - she should enjoy riding not worry about it! I'd also let her carry on with the RS as a variety of ponies to ride is a great asset, as then she won't be too reliant on the style of one pony/horse. I'm sure once she's progressed she'll come to learn how to ride smaller ones better.
There seems to be a glut of small naughty ponies about because small riders usually don't have the strength/experience/technique to ride cheeky ponies confidently and correctly, meaning said ponies know they can get away with bad behaviour, and try it on with the less experienced, so I'm not surprised she doesn't like the smaller ones!
 
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