I think I'm done *WARNING wingey self-pity thread*

Kao

Kao

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Wendover, Buckinghamshire
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Yes, I do think I have the right to winge for my send off :|

It's come to the point, after 14 years and what I thought was a good collection of basic knowledge, to throw in the towel.
I'm officially as of 4am this morning, giving up the equestrian dream.

3 years after I started riding, I realized I wasn't the brightest of all children. I would frequently ask what a horse was and say I wanted a Cow instead. Then discovered "cow coloured horses" :o
To cut a long story short.
Recently, the forum world has thoroughly crawled up my leg and bitten me in a*se over and over again. Yes, I'm immature and will come back with loudmouth comments that make me sound like a 12 year old chavette. This is probably my downfall.
But I'm done, burnt out, finito(sp?)
I will however still be making tea for the yard staff for the purposes it's my job, attending shows to build up my photography skills (or lack of shall we say) and carting my but off to the of the odd sales for spectating and thinking "Cor look a'tha"

The horse I expected to keep forever has come up for sale. Being eaten alive for that as you can imagine :rolleyes: but hey! I leave him in a field to retire, I'm curel. Keep him, get accused of knowing nothing. He sells, I'm an irresponsible, heartless moobag!
Can't please everyone eh? ;)

I packed up my things the other day from my tiny beloved workplace and it's all now gathering dust in a corner of my room. Including the helmet I pined for for about 2 years.
Ah well. Pointless post but I can't see me posting anywhere else and surviving the "constructive critique" that comes with it.

I bid you all farewell. If you see a photographer who looks scarily like the girl from the ring possibly standing next to boy who resembles that of a rather attractive Aberdeen Angus. Feel free to batter me with your crop, spurs, horse or anything else you may be able to cause a lot of damage to my ego with, I completely deserve it :)
 
I wont leave this forum, far too much entertainment :D
I'll still post my nonesenceicle(sp?) drivel once in a while. Where there's making tea on a yard there's always pictures to be had :D

Just finally realizing I'm probably a danger to horses :| tiny ponies I can't ride...not so much :D
 
Oh nooo what has happened to make you say this? Im relatively new here so i dont really know anyone, and i dont know what has gone on!

But i hope your not taking what people say on this forum so much to heart??

Please dont just throw in the towel, sometimes life gets like that, but we have to keep going, (in all things not just horses), otherwise we wouldnt get out of bed in the morning.

Life is constantly getting me down, but you have to get up and dust yourself off and try again, no ones perfect!!

Please re consider, or spend some more time thinking about it, a break wouldnt hurt.

If you need to talk to someone who ISNT going to have a go at you, your welcome to talk to me :)

Best wishes and good luck! xx
 
jenz87 said:
Oh nooo what has happened to make you say this? Im relatively new here so i dont really know anyone, and i dont know what has gone on!

But i hope your not taking what people say on this forum so much to heart??

Please dont just throw in the towel, sometimes life gets like that, but we have to keep going, (in all things not just horses), otherwise we wouldnt get out of bed in the morning.

Life is constantly getting me down, but you have to get up and dust yourself off and try again, no ones perfect!!

Please re consider, or spend some more time thinking about it, a break wouldnt hurt.

If you need to talk to someone who ISNT going to have a go at you, your welcome to talk to me :)

Best wishes and good luck! xx
Click to expand...

Oh it's not this particular forum at all. Infact I come here for solace :)
A few days a go I was being had at which escalated onto FB and just generally made me feel like poop about myself.
Looking at it briefly, it seems I've made no difference to the pony I bought (came as a bit of a rescue case) and now I'm in the wrong for letting him go to a nice stress-free home. So, so confused it's insane.

I had thought about turning him out for a few months while I decide what I'm actually doing with my life. But it's unfair on him and in all honesty I don't have the skills to train a horse like him to good competition level. I thought I did (we were progressing beyond what I expected) but I've been told I don't so again, massive mind killer on my part.

It's just all a bit much? I can't post anywhere anymore without someone making snide remarks or picking at things that aren't there. I'm a very influenced person, said enough times someone can make me think things that aren't even there.
If I pack up now, then there's still the odd pick once in a while but nothing like if I kept going.

ChasingTheDream said:
Dont talk rubbish - how are you a danger to horses? :D
Click to expand...

No idea, I'm apparently too inexperienced? It's only when people say this that the insanely rare horror stories come up :D coincidence, I think not.
 
Chin up, child!
.. that's what my mother would say.

We are not born with experience. We are not born knowing how to ride/bring on/train horses - we can only move forwards with an open mind and learn from the world we live in. Keep your horse if you want to keep your horse, get some lessons, find a good trainer, progress and above all - don't mope! You're only young and the world is your oyster!
 
Horses & life are full of bitches, people will constantly say you arent doing this or your doing that wrong. There is always someone who thinks they know better.
My YO is a Natural Horsemanship trainer and she spends time going to yards to deal with troubled horses, or problems like boxing, or bringing on etc etc. Even though she is a qualified BHS instructor, and NH trainer, and been riding and training for over 30 years SHE still has people saying they know better, or "give them 10 mins with the horse and it will box" etc etc.
Most of the time, people wouldnt be able to do what your doing with YOUR horse as they dont even know it. Please dont doubt your own ability!!
Maybe you should consider moving yards, i know there are bitchy people everywhere, but maybe go to a yard with a bit more instruction if you are worried about your knowledge.
For instance on my yard as said i have the YO but i also have 2 other qualified instructors on site, so if i am unsure they are always willing to offer advice or lend a hand :)

Please dont give up, trust yourself, and if you feel totally like you cannot, seek a bit of PROFFESIONAL advice, please dont listen to yard knowitalls :)

xxx
 
I'm sorry you are feeling this way, and its clear you are really down about things.

What I have noticed on forums, with general horsey folk, and around yards is the level of nastiness never actually ceases to amaze me.
This of course does not apply to all, there is equally nice supportive people in all these places.

But I have seen people's confidence totally battered and the person belittled, by people who actually enjoy making people feel like crap.
These people really aren't worth taking any notice of, anyone who feels the need to belittle others clearly has major confidence issues themselves.

Take a step back and a deep breath and have a long hard think about what you want and what your abilities are, and if you love horses and want to continue that relationship, go with something that is right for your abilities - this to be determined by yourself, not others who think the bloody know better.

We're all human and get it wrong sometimes, but we have to just do our best.
These know it all types make mistakes as well, the only difference between them and the rest of the world is, they dont admit it - to damn perfect u see ;)

Sometimes you just gotta tell them to jog on :D
 
I would ignore them and carry on, I appreciate that this is easier said then done but .....

If you are not happy or are not getting the support you need then I would move yards. At the end of the day horses are all about learning, no-one knows everything and if they think they do they are wrong. If your horse and you are progressing beyond your expectations then you are doing something right; perhaps they are jealous as they couldn't do this themselves?
 
jenz87 said:
Horses & life are full of bitches, people will constantly say you arent doing this or your doing that wrong. There is always someone who thinks they know better.
My YO is a Natural Horsemanship trainer and she spends time going to yards to deal with troubled horses, or problems like boxing, or bringing on etc etc. Even though she is a qualified BHS instructor, and NH trainer, and been riding and training for over 30 years SHE still has people saying they know better, or "give them 10 mins with the horse and it will box" etc etc.
Most of the time, people wouldnt be able to do what your doing with YOUR horse as they dont even know it. Please dont doubt your own ability!!
Maybe you should consider moving yards, i know there are bitchy people everywhere, but maybe go to a yard with a bit more instruction if you are worried about your knowledge.
For instance on my yard as said i have the YO but i also have 2 other qualified instructors on site, so if i am unsure they are always willing to offer advice or lend a hand :)

Please dont give up, trust yourself, and if you feel totally like you cannot, seek a bit of PROFFESIONAL advice, please dont listen to yard knowitalls :)

xxx
Click to expand...

It's not the yard I'm on, I'm quite secluded :D along with tea making comes a placement for free livery it's all private so no people to get on my nerves. It's lonely sometimes, except the staff and YO's horses it's empty.
It just gets so disheartening to the point you just think how I am right now, online there are a lot of faceless people who can just spout their opinions without a care in the world. But it's that alone that's made me just give up.

Small things have been niggling away and every doubt I had about myself ahs been escalated.
Okay I'm not the nicest and most sociable person in the world, but being a target to get jumped on as much I did just made me think past the "I don't care" box and go right into the "I'm taking up valuable air" box.
I guess I'm more disheartened now than ever because me and my horse were on a roll but now it's gone kerplutz.

I think a break, a very, very long break would be good. Might give me time to sort myself out a bit too.

missyme10 said:
I'm sorry you are feeling this way, and its clear you are really down about things.

What I have noticed on forums, with general horsey folk, and around yards is the level of nastiness never actually ceases to amaze me.
This of course does not apply to all, there is equally nice supportive people in all these places.

But I have seen people's confidence totally battered and the person belittled, by people who actually enjoy making people feel like crap.
These people really aren't worth taking any notice of, anyone who feels the need to belittle others clearly has major confidence issues themselves.

Take a step back and a deep breath and have a long hard think about what you want and what your abilities are, and if you love horses and want to continue that relationship, go with something that is right for your abilities - this to be determined by yourself, not others who think the bloody know better.

We're all human and get it wrong sometimes, but we have to just do our best.
These know it all types make mistakes as well, the only difference between them and the rest of the world is, they dont admit it - to damn perfect u see ;)

Sometimes you just gotta tell them to jog on :D
Click to expand...

You know, I did wonder if when they aren't farting butterflies and glitter they were making mistakes but never broadcasting it. Hmm :D

I did buy my horse thinking that he'd turn out perfect for me. Unfortunately not the case but none the less he's been given a good chance of finding a brilliant home now. He's such a special boy too, I'm just damned if I'm going to make him do a discipline he doesn't want to do.

I like to think I'm not completely clueless when it comes to horses. There's still a lot I need to learn. But that's the same with everyone I think :) You can know everything but you'll still lessons at some point :)

I think a break is definitely for the best. Get some money together, sort myself out and then get back back into it slowly and make it a long time before I own another horse!
 
dont quit!!!! i tried once, for similar-ish reasons, had a ggutsfull of horsey people in general! But, i couldnt quit horses, i just quit people!!!! MUCH better!! If your not being happy with what you are doing with horses, dont change them, change what you are doing with them! I dont know what you generally do with your horses, but it sounds like you are on a yard and do shows? Maybe what you need is yr own (private)place and go hacking and hunting etc. There are some SERIOUSLY bad riding shown out hunting all over the country so if you can just hold your horse and stop when needed, you'll be better than some!!! Great people and social side and none of the 'bitchiness' of yard folk!
Hacking also gives you personal time with your horse, doing what you want when you want and enjoying it!
Dont quit, just change!!!!!
 
Scoutie said:
I would ignore them and carry on, I appreciate that this is easier said then done but .....

If you are not happy or are not getting the support you need then I would move yards. At the end of the day horses are all about learning, no-one knows everything and if they think they do they are wrong. If your horse and you are progressing beyond your expectations then you are doing something right; perhaps they are jealous as they couldn't do this themselves?
Click to expand...

It's easy to ignore them, but their comments really got to me. I find myself thinking I'm just not good enough every time I ride.

I get a lot of support from my yard. None of them are forums boffs (or even internet people, they can only really work Facebook lol) so they don't see how it effects me. My RI and my Mum who teaches me too said I've lost a lot of ambition in the last week, if it's clear to them then I know I'm not putting 100% effort into my riding which will be effecting my horse. He's very easily confused but a quick learner at the same time so when he's ridden positively it makes for good progress, he loses ambition as much as I do when I'm not at my best. They could be, who knows, it's strange I've never really seen their progress or even regular updates on their horses. It's all a bit strange.
 
Rowenna said:
dont quit!!!! i tried once, for similar-ish reasons, had a ggutsfull of horsey people in general! But, i couldnt quit horses, i just quit people!!!! MUCH better!! If your not being happy with what you are doing with horses, dont change them, change what you are doing with them! I dont know what you generally do with your horses, but it sounds like you are on a yard and do shows? Maybe what you need is yr own (private)place and go hacking and hunting etc. There are some SERIOUSLY bad riding shown out hunting all over the country so if you can just hold your horse and stop when needed, you'll be better than some!!! Great people and social side and none of the 'bitchiness' of yard folk!
Hacking also gives you personal time with your horse, doing what you want when you want and enjoying it!
Dont quit, just change!!!!!
Click to expand...

I had thought about going hunting actually :D Looks like a lot of fun.
We do do shows but not too often, usually quiet show jumping evenings. I haven't competed since May 2009 but still sometimes pootle round the warm-up if another horse is going :o Just for the experience.
A change might be good, I'm only doing flatwork now but used to be a keen jumper which I wanted to get back into. My horse, let's say is no show jumper he'll do everything else and tries to jump bless him but doesn't quite "get it".

It's tempting to take the winter off, just hang around the yard and get out and about with the YO's horses.
 
Just tell them to go and do one sod the lot of them im a bit blunt and to the point and dont do tact but if they dont like it tough. as long as my horse is fed and water thats all they really care about im fine my horse is my best friend i dont need anyone else
 
traceyann said:
Just tell them to go and do one sod the lot of them im a bit blunt and to the point and dont do tact but if they dont like it tough. as long as my horse is fed and water thats all they really care about im fine my horse is my best friend i dont need anyone else
Click to expand...

Good plan :D
I'll use that one next time I think. I wish I could be as blunt as you hehe.:)
 
Kao said:
Yes, I do think I have the right to winge for my send off :|

It's come to the point, after 14 years and what I thought was a good collection of basic knowledge, to throw in the towel.
I'm officially as of 4am this morning, giving up the equestrian dream.

3 years after I started riding, I realized I wasn't the brightest of all children. I would frequently ask what a horse was and say I wanted a Cow instead. Then discovered "cow coloured horses" :o
To cut a long story short.
Recently, the forum world has thoroughly crawled up my leg and bitten me in a*se over and over again. Yes, I'm immature and will come back with loudmouth comments that make me sound like a 12 year old chavette. This is probably my downfall.
But I'm done, burnt out, finito(sp?)
I will however still be making tea for the yard staff for the purposes it's my job, attending shows to build up my photography skills (or lack of shall we say) and carting my but off to the of the odd sales for spectating and thinking "Cor look a'tha"

The horse I expected to keep forever has come up for sale. Being eaten alive for that as you can imagine :rolleyes: but hey! I leave him in a field to retire, I'm curel. Keep him, get accused of knowing nothing. He sells, I'm an irresponsible, heartless moobag!
Can't please everyone eh? ;)

I packed up my things the other day from my tiny beloved workplace and it's all now gathering dust in a corner of my room. Including the helmet I pined for for about 2 years.
Ah well. Pointless post but I can't see me posting anywhere else and surviving the "constructive critique" that comes with it.

I bid you all farewell. If you see a photographer who looks scarily like the girl from the ring possibly standing next to boy who resembles that of a rather attractive Aberdeen Angus. Feel free to batter me with your crop, spurs, horse or anything else you may be able to cause a lot of damage to my ego with, I completely deserve it :)
Click to expand...

WOW! Love your post, please, don't leave. Without you HHo will return to its banal boring self! HHo needs you!
 
Kao said:
I think a break is definitely for the best. Get some money together, sort myself out and then get back back into it slowly and make it a long time before I own another horse!
Click to expand...

Sounds a good plan to me. If it's FB just delete your account. If you want to rejoin in the future your account is as if you never left!

I've had a couple of breaks from Forums and the odd one I've left because even reading depressed me! :D It's so much better when you don't subject yourself to stuff that makes you angry,upset or just doesn't fit with your thinking no matter hard you try! lol

Take a break and come back stronger.:)
 
Well Kao - if nothing else you've pulled me out of lurkerdom on this forum!

Don't give up. If this is because of the other forum then I don't think anyone was saying to give up (I have no clue what's happened on facebook).

A lot of the people who gave you advice are experienced AFAIK and just suggested getting more experience (perhaps by getting a job as a working pupil or on a yard where you get to exercise horses), particularly in riding different types of horses, before setting yourself up as a trainer. This, given your age, is probably good advice as the more situations you encounter & the more advice you can get the more tools there will be in your toolbag for when you have to give advice.

The thing with forums is that no-one on the other side of the screen can know all the details - only what has been posted - so you have to self-filter the advice to take what is appropriate to you. There is no use being defensive or argumentative as it just gets people's backs up and causes them to fight against you (or wind you up for fun - something I find particularly irritating).

Much better to listen to what they say, take what you think is useful, and then apply it in the best way possible.

I hope that you don't give up, but have a look at where you are, where you want to go and plot a potential route there with whatever steps you need hopefully taking on relevant advice. When you get there you can consider it a big fingers up to people who did you down (if you still feel they did), now that, from experience, feels great!
 
amandap said:
Sounds a good plan to me. If it's FB just delete your account. If you want to rejoin in the future your account is as if you never left!

I've had a couple of breaks from Forums and the odd one I've left because even reading depressed me! :D It's so much better when you don't subject yourself to stuff that makes you angry,upset or just doesn't fit with your thinking no matter hard you try! lol

Take a break and come back stronger.:)
Click to expand...

I've blocked all the numpties so that should help :)
There are a lot of forums around that are just a massive bitchfest, it's sad really :/ But none the less, if they want to make a bad place to be then so be it.
A break might give me a chance to save up and get my plans going sometime next year.

Thanks guys :) You've all really helped me out. I feel a lot better about myself now :D
 
Kao said:
I had thought about going hunting actually :D Looks like a lot of fun.
We do do shows but not too often, usually quiet show jumping evenings. I haven't competed since May 2009 but still sometimes pootle round the warm-up if another horse is going :o Just for the experience.
A change might be good, I'm only doing flatwork now but used to be a keen jumper which I wanted to get back into. My horse, let's say is no show jumper he'll do everything else and tries to jump bless him but doesn't quite "get it".

It's tempting to take the winter off, just hang around the yard and get out and about with the YO's horses.
Click to expand...

well go hunting then! you dont have to be stylish to jump out hunting and if you dont want to jump there is always another route around. try it before you decide to quit, it might be just what you are looking for:)
 
Kao said:
Looking at it briefly, it seems I've made no difference to the pony I bought (came as a bit of a rescue case) and now I'm in the wrong for letting him go to a nice stress-free home. So, so confused it's insane.
Click to expand...

I've not come here to start a fight.

No one said you abused your horses, were a bad rider, did bad by them etc. Everyone congratulated you over your success with Kao after rescuing him.

People were having a laugh that you referred to your lw cob as a warmblood and that they had lost respect for you after not only posting about riding hatless but boasting about it and then slagging everyone off on your blog.

But think and say what you like. There are plenty of people who lurk multiple forums you know ;)
 
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