I think it is time to call it a day

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Tonight Grace was the worst she has ever been
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I have been some real contact issues with her recently, ever since she has come back into work if I am entirely honest... I had a lesson on her on Saturday and my trainer said it was very much a throughness issue and we worked really hard on getting her to work into the contact and by the end of the lesson she felt 99% better.

She had yesterday off work in the field, and I got on her tonight full of good intentions and with my lesson fresh in my mind. I knew I had to work her in the canter and push her through it before thinking of picking up the contact etc. However, from the moment I got on her to the moment I got off I just felt like crying
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Every time I tried asking her to work into the contact she was half rearing then shooting forwards. I had spurs on my boots because I rode my other mare this morning, and she decided she really did not like those either.

I got her right in the walk at the end, but everything else was just horrendous.

I have had everything checked with this mare... she has had an excellent chiropractor, physiotherapist, saddle fitter, dental techician, vet... there is nothing left for me to check
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Spencer said she was 'really sound' in my last lesson two weeks ago, so I know it is nothing to do with the PSD injury... I feel as though she is just not the same mare
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Before she was kind and would try her heart out for me. Now she is just so argumentative and arsey about everything!

When I do get her working, she works beautifully, but those moments are few and far between at the moment and it is making me feel as though we have come to the end of the line.
 
OK, without sounding bitchy (because honestly, that is not my intention), are you sure it is not you? Are you absolutely 100% that you are not putting too much pressure on yourself which, even with the best intentions of not, is passing on to her, and she is saying *f off*?

When we are in a lesson we are listening to someone, talking back (and thus breathing more evenly) and we concentrate more on the whole picture....when we school ourselves our concentration is far more focused on either ourselves or our horse, and that can cause unwanted tension because we just try too hard to gain perfection.

I may be way off the mark, but I would say back off from yourself, go hacking, do some exercises out hacking, give yourself a break, we are not all Anky.
 
B. you know I've said this before about Grace, but I still think its worth saying - she needs some time off to be a horse. You know what I went through with Osk - two operations etc. The best thing I ever did was to give him two months off in the field after he got the all clear to come back into work. Physically he was 100%, but mentally he wasn't. I backed off him, turned him away and let him be. After that I spent a month just hacking, no pressure. He came back a different horse.

I would put some serious thought into doing that with Grace. She's been through an awful lot. If physically she is fine, let her brain repair too. Even if it means sending her away. From what you say, she's a special girl. Give her some time and she will come right.

xx
 
Becki only you will know whether that *really* is the case but I'm sure I wouldn't be alone in saying that we all have these days
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Last week I was in floods of tears in the arena as I could get no sense through to Darce.Idiot of the highest order
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It's my nature to get frustrated and when we both get like this I may as well put him away and give up. Most of the time it is my fault- i'm not riding as well as I can/should and it's no wonder he's getting in a tiz
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At the moment this is down to the grass and riding in the fading light- he turns into a monster! Next time I got on I jumped and he was a star and then the battles of the previous night were forgotten
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I just know at this time of the year and again in about March he either goes on a calmer or I change what I do with him
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I hope you resolve it without drastic measures
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I still think it is something physical, maybe adhesions on the stomach from the surgery,I don't know .I just think she has a reason to change, you maybe able to ride her through it but then she will still feel it again next time.I suffer with hip and back pain and if I work through the pain it eases but as soon as I rest it has to be gone through again.
I wish I could offer a solution but you have the best of professionals and if they are not able to help ,maybe time will!
 
Have you tried her on regumate? Have you tried chucking her out in a field for a bit?

Maybe she just isnt the horse for you, she may get on better with a different type of rider. I think you were considering putting her out on loan/getting a sharer?
 
I am so sorry to read your post.
Time. it is the best medicine in so many ways. It is a good time of year to turn her away... for as long as you can... at least a couple of months.
Then, and only then, try again.
This worked for us with a mare we once had. She was almost unrideable... she had the whole winter turned away... then came back into work. It was no miracle cure, tbh, and still took patience & hard work & consistency... but without the time off I doubt whether she would ever have accepted our agenda.
 
Hi Becki - ive been following your post and reading replies etc and without sounding mean you really need to just chill out!!!! Just cause you have a bad ride one day does not mean its time to give up etc, that's just stupid, as people have said dont push yourself/her so hard, you cant do and have everything perfect all the time or always go out and get placed. [****] happens then you deal with it - Grace is a lovely horse and you've done alot with her...just get a grip and stop being silly!!!!

Just thought a straight to the point post might help..B x
 
I think you both need a break. Everyone gets like this from time to time. After my last dressage tests I was totally p*ssed off with both of us, so I spent a week just hacking, going for ggod canters, I jumped and loose jumped her. Giver her something else to do. I know you say she's not a great hack, but maybe spend the time teaching her to learn something different, even if it means getting in your lorry and taking her somewhere else. I haven't schooled now since a week last Saturday and tonight she was a different horse.
 
I have to agree with Halfstep, i think she needs time out! Ever since all her problems she has been brought back into work but does most of her work in the school. I know what i was like as a kid when stuck in a classroom all day! (Not nice to know!!) I reckon you should either turn her away or just hack her for a month or so and let her enjoy herself and realise that life can be fun again. If you take her in the school during this time why not do pole work and small jumps with her to give her a change.
 
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply... it is much appreciated.

Lil_Ponios_Rock - Thank you for your comment, but this has been happening for a while now. There have been times I have felt more positive, but tonight she was just beastly!

Weezy - You have not been bitchy at all! I do think some of it is being caused by me, but she was awkward with my trainer too a few weeks ago, so I do know that she is being arsey and I am probably exacerbating the issue. The major problem is that I cannot hack her... it is all road work where I am, and she is just too dangerous on the roads. I have been walking her around the yard in hand, but I cannot risk venturing out unfortunately. I am trying not to school her too much, and have been doing some cavellettis (sp?) with her too which she does seem to enjoy. But I completely agree about lessons, I am constantly being told to put my lower leg back under me, keep my left hand forwards as I tend to draw it back due to my own back problems... so I very rarely have time to think in my lessons other than about what I am doing at that time
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Halfstep - That might be what I will do in the spring if I continue with her. I cannot do it over winter because she gets such bad mud rash (to the point she needed 6 weeks of antibiotics and no turnout the first winter despite everything I tried). I just feel really defeated at the moment. She was so desperate to please me before she had the injury, to the point where she made the injury difficult to spot because she was trying so hard
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The only thing that I can think is what the surgeon said to me when she got the go ahead to come back into work. He told me that we might hit a real sticky patch at some point where she will just not want to step through with the hinds because the scar tissue will not be plyable, but at the time he said I had to work her through it and stretch the scar tissue. I am planning on phoning him tomorrow...

Law - Thank you, I don't feel as pathetic if others have these moments. I literally burst into tears when I got off her because she was huffing and puffing, wet through, but all I wanted was one circle of trot with her working through to the contact. But she just felt so worked up, even when I dropped her long and low, she just would not let go
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I used to have her on a calmer, perhaps I could put her back on it and see whether that makes her more focused?
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THE_carthorse - What do you mean by 'adhesions on the stomach'? I have been beating myself up thinking that it is something pain related, but I just don't know where to go from here with regards to having her checked out. I even started thinking it could be something like Kissing Spine, but surely there would be some tension or sensitive areas in her body as a result. The chiropractor said she was in perfect shape, with all the muscles building equally
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If I am honest, I genuinely thought he would find something.

Megan2006 - She has been schooled 3 times a week since coming back to work, worked over poles one day and I did jump her a few times at my old yard but being on a professional show jumping yard I have not been brave enough to put my tiny little cross pole up when most people are jumping HUGE spreads
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Bossanova - She is not 'marey' at all, I never even see her in season really. Before the injury, she was never different no matter what time of the year. The thing is, before the injury, we were perfect together. I had never ridden a horse which I clicked with so instantly as I did with Grace. On the ground we still have the most amazing bond, more so than I have with my other two, and she is not a very trusting soul but she would jump through fire in hand if I asked her to. That is how she was under saddle, and it really upsets me to think that is not there now
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I don't think I could loan her out right now, and I certainly couldn't sell her. I know her inside out, and if someone got on and was too firm with her, I think she has the ability to just completely lose her head if that makes sense.

Bubblegum - I do think she needs the turnout, and that is one of the reasons I moved to the yard I am now on. However, because she is really prone to mud fever, I don't think turning her away at this time of year in this county would work. She ended up on 6 weeks of antibiotics last time and stuck in all that time
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I am so pleased it worked out for your mare though!

MrsMagoo - I do need to chill out
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The thing is, this is not just one bad ride. I just came out feeling really positive after the improvement in our lesson on Sat, and felt at a complete loss as to how I should deal what she was throwing at me tonight. I couldn't put my leg on, couldn't use much contact...
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I keep wondering whether I should think of changing the bit, but then surely all this is not being caused by the bit... after all, she is in a NS Verbibend. Yes, it is quite thin, but I chose it because it was kind for her soft mouth.
 
I think somehow you have to work out a way to get her out of the school.
Can you box to a better area for hacking? Any sponsored rides near you? Any gallops for hire? I would be looking to do no more than 1 session in the school with her at the moment, she needs to enjoy being ridden again
 
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I think you both need a break. Everyone gets like this from time to time. After my last dressage tests I was totally p*ssed off with both of us, so I spent a week just hacking, going for ggod canters, I jumped and loose jumped her. Giver her something else to do. I know you say she's not a great hack, but maybe spend the time teaching her to learn something different, even if it means getting in your lorry and taking her somewhere else. I haven't schooled now since a week last Saturday and tonight she was a different horse.

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I have ummed and aghhed about sending her to my trainer... to give me a break and get someone else who is not emotionally attached to her working her.

I just don't have the time to load her and hack her out at the moment... I don't know the area where I have moved to very well, and the off road areas I know are about 45 minutes away in the wagon. I know this sounds as though i am making excuses, but I am really busy at the moment with other things, so my time is a little tight
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But perhaps once a week I should make more of an effort and take her to the gallops over at Crow Wood or Somerford Park...
 
OK, this is going to sound really harsh, but you always have an answer why you can't do any of the suggestions posted. If it really is this difficult then maybe you should consider selling/loaning her.
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Surely you could hack or gallop her on a weekend. If she is turned out every day she doesnt have to be ridden so you could just ride twice during the week and go and have some fun over the weekends.
 
I think that perhaps calling it a day is a bit extreme!

I have a horse who as a 3 year old had double colic surgery. He has not been an easy horse and over the last few years at any excuse I would give him time off.

He is now 7 and I had planned to sell him so asked my trainer to help me. she asked what I felt we needed to work on. My answer was getting him better in the contact and making him feel nicer to ride. Anyway, the exercises she gave me did help but I also started putting him on my walker. He started off going on for an hour a day. I make sure he is at a good pace so he is really striding out.

After the first few weeks of going on the walker I couldn't ride him for a week due to work. When I sat on him at the end of the week the difference was amazing. Usually after a week off the contact would have gone wooden and he would have been backing off. This time I got on him and he was ready to walk actively forwards, so he took the contact and the work came so much quicker.

My point being that maybe she does need a bit of a break, but also why don't you look at re eductating her without you on her back. This way you don't have to argue with her and it doesn't become unpleasant. she needs to want to take you and the contact forwards.
 
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OK, this is going to sound really harsh, but you always have an answer why you can't do any of the suggestions posted. If it really is this difficult then maybe you should consider selling/loaning her.
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Not harsh at all... it is true!

I would never allow anyone to take her hacking on the road because she is genuinely dangerous. She does not care for her own safety in that situation, and that worries me
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I am going to try and take her over to the gallops at Crow Wood, but it is finding half a day to do it. There is no where close by, Crow Wood is a good 45 mins drive from the yard and Somerford Park about an hour and twenty minutes. I don't want to do it when I am rushing about (which is most of the time at the moment because of certain aspects in my life that I will not go into) as I would like to enjoy it as I think it would be a really positive experience for Grace.

And realistically, who would take her on loan or buy her?! I know that no one in their right mind would take on a horse with her history
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Surely you could hack or gallop her on a weekend. If she is turned out every day she doesnt have to be ridden so you could just ride twice during the week and go and have some fun over the weekends.

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There is no way I could get on her if she has not been ridden somewhere different as I have to lunge her first in this situation
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But I completely agree that I could start making some time to do this. I could rearrange some working hours so that I worked longer hours through the week and could get more time off at the weekend.
 
Re. tunring her out, I really think this would cause huge improvement if she can be turned out as much as possible, Horses need to be horses and not be wrapped up in cotton wool all the time. I know mine would have killed me by now if he wasnt allowed out, its not natural for them to be in all the time. Buy her some good turnout boots to protect her legs from mud if she reacts that badly? And dont hose off her legs every time she goes out. Mine has THE most sensitive white skin and comes out in bumps constantly, but have never had a prob with mud on his legs due to just keeping them as dry as possible. Hope it comes right for you
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I think that perhaps calling it a day is a bit extreme!

I have a horse who as a 3 year old had double colic surgery. He has not been an easy horse and over the last few years at any excuse I would give him time off.

He is now 7 and I had planned to sell him so asked my trainer to help me. she asked what I felt we needed to work on. My answer was getting him better in the contact and making him feel nicer to ride. Anyway, the exercises she gave me did help but I also started putting him on my walker. He started off going on for an hour a day. I make sure he is at a good pace so he is really striding out.

After the first few weeks of going on the walker I couldn't ride him for a week due to work. When I sat on him at the end of the week the difference was amazing. Usually after a week off the contact would have gone wooden and he would have been backing off. This time I got on him and he was ready to walk actively forwards, so he took the contact and the work came so much quicker.

My point being that maybe she does need a bit of a break, but also why don't you look at re eductating her without you on her back. This way you don't have to argue with her and it doesn't become unpleasant. she needs to want to take you and the contact forwards.

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This sounds very similar... what would you suggest if there is no walker?

How would you go about re-educating her without me on board?
 
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Re. tunring her out, I really think this would cause huge improvement if she can be turned out as much as possible, Horses need to be horses and not be wrapped up in cotton wool all the time. I know mine would have killed me by now if he wasnt allowed out, its not natural for them to be in all the time. Buy her some good turnout boots to protect her legs from mud if she reacts that badly? And dont hose off her legs every time she goes out. Mine has THE most sensitive white skin and comes out in bumps constantly, but have never had a prob with mud on his legs due to just keeping them as dry as possible. Hope it comes right for you
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Hi KatB... since I moved yards I have been getting her out as much as possible (obviously within the yard regulations
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). She has been out in the field from 9.30am to 2pm every single day, and at the weekends they have been out for full days. We have turnout boots, I have finally located them after the move
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She is part of the reason I moved, I wanted her to have turnout! And where I am, as long as you do not take the mick and are sensible, they should be able to have adequate turnout. It is only of the only places in the area where this is possible. Even most of the studs in this area have them in through the winter.
 
If you don't like jumping yourself, is there anyone on the yard that will jump her for you to give her a change. I know she's coming back into work, but I mean just start her from scratch. It will be another day of doing something different and gve you a break.
 
To be honest I'm not sure.

Logically the options open to you are:

1) turn her away. You have already dismissed this due to weather/mud fever issues. Also whilst this would give her chance to have a true break there is no actual re-education happening so it is likely that you would have to start all over again when you brought her back into work.

2) lunge/long line. My personal opinion would be that this could still turn into an argument as you would still have a contact on her mouth and you would be needing to be the one generating the forwards energy.

3) loose schooling. I suspect this might possibly be one of the best options for you. However I think you need something that can happen for a longer period of time thereby increasing her fitness and ability to keep on going.

4) horsewalker. send her away to somewhere with a walker

I'm not sure that has really been much help. Sorry!!
 
There are some people, but I don't think I can afford it (I have had a big jump up in price from past yard to this one, so a lot of my money is going into the rent of the stables, etc etc).

I don't mind jumping, I quite enjoy it to be honest, but when everyone else is jumping full up spreads and courses, I feel a bit ridiculous putting a jump down to the height I am happy jumping and I am happy for her to do at this stage of her work. I don't want to push her too much with what she has been through, I hope that makes sense
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Perhaps I can wait until 7.30pm when everyone has gone home and put a sneaky one up then... I literally mean about knee height
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I am not a very confident jumper, I seem to have all my falls jumping, but I am confident enough to do some baby ones and enjoy it.
 
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To be honest I'm not sure.

Logically the options open to you are:

1) turn her away. You have already dismissed this due to weather/mud fever issues. Also whilst this would give her chance to have a true break there is no actual re-education happening so it is likely that you would have to start all over again when you brought her back into work.

2) lunge/long line. My personal opinion would be that this could still turn into an argument as you would still have a contact on her mouth and you would be needing to be the one generating the forwards energy.

3) loose schooling. I suspect this might possibly be one of the best options for you. However I think you need something that can happen for a longer period of time thereby increasing her fitness and ability to keep on going.

4) horsewalker. send her away to somewhere with a walker

I'm not sure that has really been much help. Sorry!!

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Thank you... Funnily enough, lunging we don't have nearly as much of a reaction but I do put the side reins on quite loose. I have not had much experience long lining, but am interested in having a go because I am pretty sure Grace has done some in the past
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I think we are getting a walker eventually where I am...
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Oh don't worry about what other people think, main thing is you both enjoy yourselves.

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Thank you... I just watch the others jumping, even smaller ponies, and I wouldn't dare to approach some of those fences
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I think either late at night when I am on my own (which I usually am most evenings and we have fab lights in the indoor) or first thing in the morning, again when there is no one there. I think if people were watching I would feel incredibly tense and self-concious. Strange isn't it, training in front of people on the flat does not bother me one jot
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I just felt so low when I came home tonight
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I just feel as though I am holding her back by not being able to solve this!
 
Fab, ok thats cool, and tbh regular turnout cuts the need for a walker as they naturally wander about and chill
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If you had her on a calmer may be worth trying it again? Know how you feel, you know its all there, its just unlocking it!!
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You will get there, just take the pressure off yourself and her for a bit and play with her, even loose schooling over poles for a change, and if need be just work her a few times a week and just keep it relaxed, take what she gives and use it, and dont argue with her, just change what you want her to do if what you ae asking isnt going anywhere. I know with G and SGo, the more I argue the more tense they get and the less likey they are to do what you want, just change the question a bit, relax them and go back to it
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Ignore the bad bits and ask for something good even if it is something tiny! You will get there
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