I think it is time to call it a day

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I am sure she is physically fine, you are just a worrier.
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Good on you for jumping her though. Can you not just warm her up off her back for say 20 mins with a light contact, pop her over the X a few times and then call it a day. Totally stress free, without worrying about contact etc etc.
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Ok, time to confess... I tried that first M_M because this was my initial plan, and I nearly ended up on my arse because when I took the contact up to jump we had a huge paddy and it all went very very wrong (with her straddling the jump)
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I didn't really want to put this on here because I felt rather foolish
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I can't jump her without contact because she is so green (she has literally jumped 5 or 6 times in her life) she really needs help coming into it, even if it is just a little cross pole.

So that is why I started doing a bit of schooling in between the fences and she was so much happier and started taking me into the fence a little more although was still wibbly wobbly
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To be fair I think Becki means by Complex stuff that she doesn't feel confident to do, but not necessarily too taxing for Grace.

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Thanks... yeah, I probably shouldn't have said complex!
 
FWIW I think you need to keep a note of when you come away feeling good and when you come away feeling negative. I am sure this is not the case, but the distinct impression I get from the general tone of your posts is that you don't get an awful lot of pleasure from your horses - you just tell yourself you enjoy it. We all have bad days, but yours seem to be moe often than most. What you have with your situation isn't unusual - I work full time, do a 40mile round trip to the yard - can take me over an hour to get there after work, 30 mins home, often not home until 10pm then dinner and bed, never enough time to tidy and clean the house, do washing etc - usually gets a blitz at the weekend, OH who has less than no interest in the horse (and why should he?). I do everything myself too. But do you know what, for every bad day when he doesn't work as well as I want, I have 10 times as many good ones, and I never go home feeling like I want to give up and sell him.

So if I were you I'd do some critical evaluation of the good days vs the bad days, then decide whether it is worth it or not. I did this with my old mare whom I adored as you do grace, but when it came down to it, the bad days outweighed the good and I sold her - the relief was amazing.

Negativity breeds negativity - maybe if you sleep on it before posting on here then you will forget more quickly, not reinforce how bad it is/can be?
 
I still enjoy being with my horses, and all the hard work (such as mucking out) is worth it for the pleasure I get from riding them. The constant rushing about, never having time to do anything other than the horses and work, is worth it for the moments when it goes right
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I know more than most that things go wrong and there is nothing you can do about it... I have been there and written a book through owning Grace. Everything was coming together beautifully, she half qualified for the Regionals at Novice, qualified for the petplan finals, and then I was hit with the devastating news that she had PSD and then following that required colic surgery
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I think because of all this, my enjoyment has been taken away from it somewhat because of all the sh!t I have been through with her. The reason I feel like giving her time out and not riding her is because I think deep down I am still not 100% convinced that she is physically ok
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I have had 11 solid months of having her like a glass doll, and I think some of this is still me not being able to realise that she is not.

Everytime something does not feel right, a panic rises within me and I get quite emotional... It is so hard to explain because I do enjoy riding her, I don't think i have ever truly not done. But there is this fear at the back of my mind telling me she will break any minute, and I think this has so much to do with how I am feeling right now about things.

I have to admit, after riding her today and taking on board lots of people's advice, I do feel a teeny bit more positive about things, but I think it is going to be a very long journey for us both to be back where we were, not just Grace but my confidence in her soundness if that makes sense.

I kept thinking that if I loaned her out or had someone else riding her for me for a while, I would get over this and we could crack on. But I don't think that would help as I tried having my trainer ride her for 2 weeks thinking when she tells me she is 100% ok, I will know then no matter what. Then I was waiting for Spencer (the person who spotted it) to tell me she was sound, and he did but then that didn't get rid of the little niggling feeling of doubt. So when she started playing up the way she has been, the little niggling feeling became a big dark cloud.

But this does not affect my riding the other horse... I am loving riding Han at the moment, more than I have done before. She has never gone better than she is doing right now, for the first time in 6 years we have completely clicked
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Sorry JetSet, I misunderstood when you said complex, think that sounds like a really good plan, maybe he can get her going a bit over some baby stuff a few times, then help you have a sit on?? Agree that she needs to learn a bit more before you try some fixed jumps. Also, if he is a pro, then he will be experienced at getting her to a good place to jump from & will give her confidence, you made me smile that you felt silly straddling the jump. On my first lesson with pro, he says "canter over these 2 POLES!!!" Kizzy proceeds to slam on brakes & shy at first one & drop her shoulder, I so nearly fell off
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so believe me, traumas don't only happen to you!!
 
I should have explained it better... I was rushing because I was trying to get some work done at the same time
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That is the plan kizzywiz, I would like him to get her technique a little better so that we can have some fun together. She certainly needs confidence jumping, she is very much younger than her 7 years when it comes to jumping, but I do think she will be tonnes better when someone who really can read them in the jumping can help her out of situations (which I know I can't do hence why we were straddled over a jump
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TBH i feel really sorry for you as from reading your posts your horses seem to cause you a lot of tears, upset and worry when they are supposed to give you pleasure and fun. Your horses sound as though they cost you a fortune in time and money - so are you sure some of the many professionals you use are not just ripping you off and making you worry about things that are just not there and encouraging you to strive for perfection that is just not achievable ??
We all have up's and down's keeping naglet's but I would have given it all up and started breeding rabbits by now if I was in your shoes!!
 
It's only Grace really that causes me heartache... Han has just totally changed her way of going with Jo. I am excited about riding her every single day, whereas when one trainer told me to forget it and stop trying to make her into something she would never be made me so very sad. I know she is not a world beating dressage horse, but I was enjoying her so much and this person totally devasted me
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I then started having lessons with Jo from DHI and Hannah is a different horse completely. We went to the Regionals this summer which was a real ambition of mine, and she is now out competing at elementary BD, again, something that I feel is such an achievement with this horse
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