I would just like to point out...

Don't you dare!!!!!!

Just tell him I'm wonderful! OOOOHHH you're a bloody evil lot! I won't share any ice cream if you're not careful!
 
Well he knows that already!!!

If it accidentally slips out I may just have to add you to my list of murders, I'm sure there'll be room in my car boot for you AND Troutina!! :D


***DISCLAIMER***
I have no intention of murdering you Tinker_Belle... I'll only duff you a bit... maybe a lot. :)
 
maybe you and my friend could possibly plot something together to get rid of other halfs . my friend has totaly took to my farrier and her remarks to me today was where did you drag him up from . i felt they was love in the air but again he is another to have a trout on his arm . so maybe you two could put your heads together .as they say two heads are better then one . saying that there seems to be half a dozen on here .
 
I'll send you mine, he's lost two shoes after being naughty and that was a week ago - my bloody farrier has yet to show up!!!! Poor horse has been reduced to trotting circles around me for the past week!!
 
Oh Starzaan, how you make me laugh! Fill me in because I can't keep up with all of the shenanigans - How long have you known him? How old is he? Describe his hotness in detail please. How come he is sending you illicit texts!? I think we need to ascertain how long he has been with mingmong GF, if it's a casual thing then I reckon you're in, woo!
 
FattyBoomBoom said:
Oh Starzaan, how you make me laugh! Fill me in because I can't keep up with all of the shenanigans - How long have you known him? How old is he? Describe his hotness in detail please. How come he is sending you illicit texts!? I think we need to ascertain how long he has been with mingmong GF, if it's a casual thing then I reckon you're in, woo!
Click to expand...


All horses with missing shoes welcome here!!!

Right Fatty... I have known him since the end of May - he was recommended by someone who has been using him for three years - and in that time I think I have had three weeks without a visit ;). Sadly now he has worked his way through the lot and I need to buy more to help me with my farrier habit! :D

I think he's 25ish.. so PERFECT age....

This is the strange thing... and why I think we really need to kill the trout... although I do think he's very, very sexy, I don't sit on the mounting block and dribble over his big arms and (non existent) six pack while he shoes my horses, I actually TALK TO HIM! :O He makes me laugh, I feel completely relaxed around him (apart from the whole I'm mental and want to rip his chaps off and he has a girlfriend malarky of course...), and I basically just love love love spending time with him. My dog feels the same way about his dog. His flat mate is also lovely, and when they came over to shoe my horse and for the flatmate to look at one we've got for sale, they came in for tea after spending about an hour and a half shoeing one horse between them, and spent another hour and a half nattering...

Said flatmate seemed to know more about me than I do, and even asked if I was alright (having never met me before!), which sexy farrier echoed (OOOOHHHHH!!! :D :D), saying I seemed down... which I was not I was just effing knackered but he NOTICED!!!

I'm not sure on the text front... but I do seem to get a lot!

Well if SOMEONE would just hurry the eff up and add him on Facebook, then we could find out!!! I refuse to, because I am still pretending that I have a life an am not a mental facebook stalkery mad woman with my morags wafting about in the wind!!!

Nono, on the contrary,

I am SOPHISTICATED, SEXY, FUNNY, and my breeches have a big hole in the crotch. :/
 
Starzaan said:
Well he knows that already!!!

If it accidentally slips out I may just have to add you to my list of murders, I'm sure there'll be room in my car boot for you AND Troutina!! :D


***DISCLAIMER***
I have no intention of murdering you Tinker_Belle... I'll only duff you a bit... maybe a lot. :)
Click to expand...

LMAO! :D :D :D. With the size of my arse at the moment, you'd have to have a roomy boot :eek: :rolleyes: :D.
 
I managed to get 2 Great Danes and four bags of feed in today... with the seats down...

I have no issue with squishing you in with my boot. That way I can flash a bit of leg at him! :D
 
You add him then!!!!

I'm being all superior and totally non stalkery (while sitting in a bin outside his house....)
 
My puppy knocked over someone's handbag today (a very important racehorse owner!) and ferretted around for a while while she laughed and said "oh isn't he a DARLING?!"

Then he reappeared with a tena lady stuck to his chin.


SILENCE.


Cross your legs and add him on facebook for me please!!!
 
I will dispose of her for you. Its that time of the month for mwa where ladies like to go on maniac, knife weilding, drooling, twitching, raging mad turns.

I could do with getting rid of this pent up anger......

do you know what the best ever murder weapon is?

I`m a genuis.........its a very large icicle...


**walks off twitching like a lunatic to check freezer**
 
What a shame... but I'm very sorry, my sympathy capacity has all been filled up with sympathy for myself due to lack of dead trout!
 
~~PLEASE NOTE~~

Farriers as OH's means your horse will be the last one to be shod, and your horse will be glueing their shoes on themselves to keep the on! They join the ranks of builders whose houses are falling down, plumbers who have pipes needed replacing.....and mechanics wives who drive round in clapped-out old bangers.....

:D

Just thought I'd throw that in there...
 
Starzaan said:
My puppy knocked over someone's handbag today (a very important racehorse owner!) and ferretted around for a while while she laughed and said "oh isn't he a DARLING?!"

Then he reappeared with a tena lady stuck to his chin.


SILENCE.


Cross your legs and add him on facebook for me please!!!
Click to expand...

well that was my screen covered in splurrtered out coffee! :D

k so ur lacking in horse's with shoes that need replacing. so maybe for now u need to entice him into your home in other ways. Here's my plan. U send him an an SOS text - ' iv a pickle jar i simply can't get open, can u help, maybe on ur way back from ur last job'

Make sure uv superglued a pickle jar lid on the day before to make sure its nice and stuck, and the on ur way home bit is needed so he has no reason to refuse the wine/beer that u offer to share with him for bailing u out of ur pickle crisis.

Then, cos ur witty chat and flashing of morags made him not notice how much he drank, u offer to make him dinner to soak up the booze so hes safe to drive home (like, after breakfast tomoro).

At some point u need to get him to leave his mobile laying around. when he pops to the loo, which he'll have to after all the booze, u send the trout a text from his phone saying 'i've decided i can no longer date a trout, ur dumped, please dont embarrass yourself by trying to contact me' then delete her number from his phone.

problem solved with no murder involved :D

(goes to check if bunny is properly cooked...)
 
Mogg that is indeed an incredible idea... however "on his way home" is in the opposite direction to me, wherever he is! We're the furthest out this way that he goes (as far as I'm aware.. hmmm) SO... put your thinking hat back on please!!!

Guido, as long as you stick it in the right person - murder away!!! :D

ETA:
My beautiful, wonderful eighteen year old dog just died (my third birthday present...), and although I miss her terribly already and it's only been ten minutes, she went peacefully and was happy and pain free...and I think she would have loved for me to be the damsel in distress to snag him!
 
Oh no. Thats such sad news...

Have you not got any good looking vets around? There used to be one in this area called Adam... My word, I could have eaten him alive he was that scrummy... He moved away (a long way away...).

Failing that try farmers, physio's, doctors in a&e, bankers, feed merchants, dentists...

I think Mrs Trouty obviously has her fins into Mr Gorgeous Farrier if he has not yet succumbed to your charms! *or placed a court order on you*....
 
Well you see... discouragement only makes me want him more! It's like putting a cake in front of someone who loves cake and saying "don't touch the cake".... you're gonna touch the cake!
 
What the hell are Morags? This thread has distinctly adult, and dare I say it sinister, undercurrents...

ETA and wouldn't a vet be a more financially sensible option to stalk/kidnap/estrange from their current partner?
 
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