Fools Motto
Well-Known Member
was too heavy for their new horse, would you say anything? And if you did, how would you go about it?
If someone you knew
- Thread starter Fools Motto
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poiuytrewq
Well-Known Member
That’s a seriously tough one that I’ve not come across luckily. It’s a difficult thing to say. I’ve had to tell my daughter she was too heavy to ride mine
AmyMay
Situation normal
“Ooo, that’s smaller than expected, do you have a jockey for it?”
Too much?
Too much?
dogatemysalad
Well-Known Member
Brilliant.
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
That's a tough one and I'm not sure how you could go about it without there being some hurt feelings somewhere.
If it were me, as I'm on a big yard where we have weigh-ins, I'd probably do something among the lines of 'ooh how much does your horse weigh' and then ask questions, as if I don't know how to, about calculating the weight my horse should carry and turn it around somehow.
That's the only other way I can think of doing it, other than saying it outright.
But if it were a welfare issue, I'm afraid I'd be quite blunt and say it as it is.
spotty_pony
...
I once told a friend she had got too heavy to ride mine. ?
I actually said it as 'his weight limit is 12 stone' when I found out what she weighed.
I actually said it as 'his weight limit is 12 stone' when I found out what she weighed.
LadyGascoyne
Well-Known Member
How much too heavy?
Is it a case of rider being a bit on the heavy side of their usual weight, and horse being a bit too fine?
Or are we talking seriously too heavy?
If it’s the former, I’d not comment unless it was a friend. If it was a friend, I’d try to be supportive and maybe offer to exercise together or improve diets together. I’d probably approach it as “I know you’re going to want to improve your fitness now that you’ve got Horse, and I could use the motivation to exercise.”
If it’s the latter, and someone I had regular contact with, I’d really struggle. I’m avoiding a conversation like this myself. I’ll be watching this thread ?
Is it a case of rider being a bit on the heavy side of their usual weight, and horse being a bit too fine?
Or are we talking seriously too heavy?
If it’s the former, I’d not comment unless it was a friend. If it was a friend, I’d try to be supportive and maybe offer to exercise together or improve diets together. I’d probably approach it as “I know you’re going to want to improve your fitness now that you’ve got Horse, and I could use the motivation to exercise.”
If it’s the latter, and someone I had regular contact with, I’d really struggle. I’m avoiding a conversation like this myself. I’ll be watching this thread ?
HorseMaid
Well-Known Member
I had to tell a friend she was too heavy for my horse, I did give in to her and let her ride her once for 20 mins but then thought better of it, it was very awkward indeed but the horses welfare comes first at the end of the day!
gallopingby
Well-Known Member
How do you know / why do you think they’re too heavy?
Roasted Chestnuts
Well-Known Member
I have to say unless you are 100% sure if what you are saying then I’d keep my mouth shut.
Weight is such a funny issue. I know at the moment I’m too heavy to back the wee guy. So for next year I’m aiming to lose 4st and keep it off. I’ve already lost 1st 11lbs since 4/01. However the horses I’m riding at the moment have absolutely no issues with my weight however being lighter certainly wouldn’t hurt them.
I am aware I’m too heavy just now (medical issues) but many people aren’t and are unhappy talking about it. I just think that unless you know someone’s exact weight and the horses exact weight I’d keep out of it. I carry my weight evenly all over so probably don’t look as heavy as I actually am. Many people were stunned when I shared my weight on our weight loss group.
Weight is such a funny issue. I know at the moment I’m too heavy to back the wee guy. So for next year I’m aiming to lose 4st and keep it off. I’ve already lost 1st 11lbs since 4/01. However the horses I’m riding at the moment have absolutely no issues with my weight however being lighter certainly wouldn’t hurt them.
I am aware I’m too heavy just now (medical issues) but many people aren’t and are unhappy talking about it. I just think that unless you know someone’s exact weight and the horses exact weight I’d keep out of it. I carry my weight evenly all over so probably don’t look as heavy as I actually am. Many people were stunned when I shared my weight on our weight loss group.
Cinnamontoast
Fais pas chier!
Given I am too heavy to ride currently, I don’t think I’d find it too hard to say something. It’s a welfare issue, people should not be riding horses that can’t cope. I spoke to a girl who bought a horse and she was way too heavy to get on it. She fortunately had no intention of riding until she’d lost weight.
I miss your pithy one liners. Huzzah, back to them! ?
I miss your pithy one liners. Huzzah, back to them! ?
Chinchilla
...
What Amymay said ^
Fools Motto
Well-Known Member
Obviously I don't know how much the person weighs, but the horse is a TB, and not wanting to sound like a right cow bag, you can't see the saddle when she is riding.. it makes you wince. I do know she hasn't always been like this, and I'm thinking she doesn't realise. I think if she still had her cob, it wouldn't be so obvious, and this is her first TB.
cobgoblin
Bugrit! Millennium hand and shrimp.
Take a photo and show her?
Melody Grey
Well-Known Member
I had someone ask what length stirrup leathers they’d sold me (I’d bought their other horse with some tack) as she wanted to use them to ride the (12hh!) pony again....I politely replied with the length and then ...but you’ll probably get away with shorter depending on how big the child is. That sorted it!
luckyoldme
Well-Known Member
There's absolutely no nice way to tell someone they are too fat.
Good luck !?
Good luck !?
stormox
Well-Known Member
TBs are stronger than they look, a pt-2-pter has to carry 11stone over 3 miles and big fences.... No I wouldnt say anything unless the horse looks uncomfortable
Pearlsasinger
Up in the clouds
How is it your business? Presumably the person who sold the horse to her or the vet who vetted it, thought it would be ok
mini_b
Well-Known Member
I cringe when I’ve seen people turn up to shares and have been a lot bigger in real life and their owners are left to tell them...
...but I do agree unless it’s a friend or someone who you teach etc I wouldn’t say anything.
I hate turning a blind eye, unless there is an absolute glaring welfare issue I’d keep my mouth shut.
does the saddle fit? You could perhaps approach it that way in some roundabout manner.
(the splinters in my arse from this fence sitting)
...but I do agree unless it’s a friend or someone who you teach etc I wouldn’t say anything.
I hate turning a blind eye, unless there is an absolute glaring welfare issue I’d keep my mouth shut.
does the saddle fit? You could perhaps approach it that way in some roundabout manner.
(the splinters in my arse from this fence sitting)
Polos Mum
Well-Known Member
Very difficult - and subjective. A fit well balanced but larger person would be OK vs. unbalanced bouncing around person.
Also a stocky fit well muscled mature TB is different to a 4 y/o straight off the track.
If it is their horse unless you are OK to not be friends with them any more (and it have no impact because they ignore you because you are just cruel / jealous / etc. etc) then i would tread v carefully.
Maybe ask her what the horse weights and then debate the % weight carrying capacity of this breed vs. Cobs. In all honesty most people know these days and the showing world asking heavier riders to leave the ring has made it much more front of mind for most people.
Also a stocky fit well muscled mature TB is different to a 4 y/o straight off the track.
If it is their horse unless you are OK to not be friends with them any more (and it have no impact because they ignore you because you are just cruel / jealous / etc. etc) then i would tread v carefully.
Maybe ask her what the horse weights and then debate the % weight carrying capacity of this breed vs. Cobs. In all honesty most people know these days and the showing world asking heavier riders to leave the ring has made it much more front of mind for most people.
The Fuzzy Furry
Getting old disgracefully
For a friend I've said, have you got saddler coming out? When she asked why, I replied that her bum was coming over the top and she clearly needed a bigger saddle.
Cue tears, mopping up, big changes to diet etc and after 3 months a bunch of flowers from her to me. Nobody else would say anything to her before this.
It was very much a welfare issue.
Good luck!!
Cue tears, mopping up, big changes to diet etc and after 3 months a bunch of flowers from her to me. Nobody else would say anything to her before this.
It was very much a welfare issue.
Good luck!!
Tash88
Well-Known Member
I wouldn't bother unless they asked or if they wanted to ride my horse - over the years I've learnt not to judge people by my own standards and I want a quiet life!
AShetlandBitMeOnce
Well-Known Member
I have gotten fatter recently and I know it, I asked my instructor yesterday if she honestly thought I was too fat to ride my horse and she confirmed that I am fine but I would be better able to ride him if I was fitter.. It's a completely fair and true comment. I wish it was more of an acceptable conversation to have!
Depending on how much of a welfare concern it is I would or wouldn't say something, just be prepared to become public enemy number 1 for it.
Depending on how much of a welfare concern it is I would or wouldn't say something, just be prepared to become public enemy number 1 for it.
Lipglosspukka
Well-Known Member
No. I don't get involved. Plus i think one person's idea of too big is very different to another's.
I've seen adverts for solid, tonnes of bone, built like a brick **** house ponies that state 'suit riders up to 8 stone' for an animal which I wouldn't blink at putting 12 stone on.
I've seen adverts for solid, tonnes of bone, built like a brick **** house ponies that state 'suit riders up to 8 stone' for an animal which I wouldn't blink at putting 12 stone on.
RHM
Well-Known Member
It’s so hard, I was on a yard where someone was riding a Welsh B and was 14 stone. It was horrendous to watch but she left her last yard because they had apparently bullied her about her weight. If she is a friend I would have to say something, otherwise I’m too much of a chicken.
mini_b
Well-Known Member
I think people are very quick to accuse others of bullying when being told something they don’t like to hear...
That being said the way some people go about telling the truth isn’t very nice at all.
to be honest I do take issue with riders being at an unsuitable weight for their mount, we expect so much from them and to perform to their best, the least we can do is be fit and at a correct weight. It is a sport after all.
how you go about telling someone is another kettle of fish altogether.
RHM
Well-Known Member
I would agree, particularly when it is often such a sensitive topic for an individual. I would be gutted if someone said that to me but as a pony owner it’s just something that you have to be aware of.
It would be so much better for horse welfare if this we talked about more openly.
Backtoblack
Well-Known Member
too heavy because too fat or just a big person? if too fat jsut say so "you are too fat to ride this horse/pony you need to loose 4 stone "or whatever . if too big just say you are too big you need a bigger horse/pony. tell it straight dont pussy foot around. its better in the long run. if they dont like it well tough people are too namby pamby these days.
The Fuzzy Furry
Getting old disgracefully
Further to my post above, I've had friends occasionally ask if they can ride mine.
A few yrs ago a hefty friend asked to ride my buzzy but sensible 14.2 hogged cob. I merely remarked sure, if you hop on my yard scales ready to ride, with tack and show you are no more than 12 stone.
She opted out of even trying, she was a good rider but had become very hefty and well over 16 stone imho. Definitely would have poured over an 18"gp saddle.
In this instance, its definitely worth setting your max weight you would allow and keeping scales at the yard.
OP, if it's a welfare problem then yes, I'd say something.
A few yrs ago a hefty friend asked to ride my buzzy but sensible 14.2 hogged cob. I merely remarked sure, if you hop on my yard scales ready to ride, with tack and show you are no more than 12 stone.
She opted out of even trying, she was a good rider but had become very hefty and well over 16 stone imho. Definitely would have poured over an 18"gp saddle.
In this instance, its definitely worth setting your max weight you would allow and keeping scales at the yard.
OP, if it's a welfare problem then yes, I'd say something.
mini_b
Well-Known Member
I’m quite blunt but tbh going at it like that just makes you sound like a knob.
CanteringCarrot
Well-Known Member
It's so difficult. If I were too fat and/or large for my horse I would want others to tell me. It would make me think long and hard about changing my physique (if possible) or selling the horse.
As mentioned upthread, we expect these animals to perform and be fit, so we need to put in effort too.
You can say it straight forward if you're prepared for the potential aftermath.
I know an individual that is too heavy for her horses, and admits this, yet won't sell or share them and find something suitable. So I feel as though people could tell her all day long that she's too big, but she doesn't want to change anything so ?
As mentioned upthread, we expect these animals to perform and be fit, so we need to put in effort too.
You can say it straight forward if you're prepared for the potential aftermath.
I know an individual that is too heavy for her horses, and admits this, yet won't sell or share them and find something suitable. So I feel as though people could tell her all day long that she's too big, but she doesn't want to change anything so ?