If you had your time again, would you bother with horses?

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I've been about a month given up, and will never go back to it. The cost, the time, the chores etc.

I'd been ready to give up for about 3 years but he didn't have the right mentality to cope being moved on and was older.

The only time I'd own horses again would be if I won the lottery and had my own land.

If I had my time again, I don't think I'd have owned, however at 18 it was all I'd wanted to do all my life despite all the warnings about cost etc.

I haven't even ridden since, I may ride from time to time and occasionally I miss going for a blast across the fields but I have no burning desire to go ride again. Maybe in time but only as the occasional lesson or trek.

I'm also at the time in my life I'd like to start a family in the next few years. I always said I'd have lots of horses and I'll never have children how things change!

I'm no longer the horse mad little girl I was for the whole of my childhood and hadn't been for a long time.

I am playing a horse mobile game but pixel horses are free with no drama!

 

[AUB]

Yes and knowing what I know now I wouldn’t have taken a break during university. I used to be quite accomplished but a long break and starting up again at 30 has made me feel absolutely rubbish. My timing is not what it was and it’s a lot more difficult to get my body to do what I want. Meanwhile I see riders that looked like shit back when we were juniors who are now doing very well as they’ve kept it up, have had great trainers and not been away from the sport for 10 years.

 

[Shilasdair]

I'm at the stage where I'm caring for two aging horses with health conditions so currently I'd kill for just one evening off.
Or a long weekend somewhere.

 

[meleeka]

There’s one I wouldn’t have kept, but I can’t imagine not having horses at all. If there was a magic wand I’d have had a break when the kids were small (not possible as I had two oldies then and putting them to sleep prematurely would have broken my heart), but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them. I’ve had horses since I was 13 and I’m 51 now so I don’t really know how to be anything else. I think I’d probably be quite lazy if I didn’t have anything physical I had to do.

 

[Tarragon]

My life hasn't been built around horses. I had ponies as a child in the 1960's and 1970's, then nothing until I was in my mid-30s and decided that I was fed up with being a wife and a mother and gave in to my long-held ambition and got my first pony. It was a 100% good decision. I became my own person again! It still hasn't taken over my life, but I have a part of my life that is 100% me and 100% under my control - good for the soul and good for my confidence. Plus, it has kept me sane and healthy!

 

[Snowfilly]

As part of an exercise recently, I had to list the 10 best days of my life. Each of them ended up being a horse day.

I wouldn’t change it for the world.

 

[marmalade76]

Are you me?

I had the same run of bad luck, amongst other things, and spent my 20s as a nurse maid to horses while sitting on the sidelines or playing groom as all my friends went and did all the fun things.

It is hard going and with the experience of hindsight I'd have made certain calls sooner, not listened to certain vets and moved on quicker. But alas I don't have a time machine

I've got a cracking wee horse who's been pretty low maintenance but after most of my 20s & 30s were "wasted" with broken horses (& more so "dreams" and ambitions) I've been left without a motivated or competitive bone in my body. I just like my horse and I like faffing with him and doing what I want to do when I want to do it.

Every so often I'll gee myself up and make all these plans to do/attend X, Y & Z but when it comes to it I simply don't want to do it.

I'm lucky that I have the best of both worlds as my horse is now kept at my parents. So if I want a few days off/cover or to go out and not need to do early mornings etc they live on site and sort him for me. Kinda all the good bits without so many of the sacrifices. If I was still on livery things might have been very different.

It is hard and I'm still not over losing one of my mares in 2010 and often get dragged back into that rabbit hole. It's hard to accept that time is gone.

What I would say is thst I've learnt time is precious and fast. So if you want to have a horse to do X with do it and if you don't want to have horses pull the plaster off quick. The time will pass anyway so as much as possible do what makes you happiest long term

Similar to how I feel now. I've considered giving up (I could get enough riding without owning) because I am now a fair weather rider and lack motivation a lot of the time and have also now almost completely lost my confidence. This has been getting progressively worse over the last ten years and has not been helped by not quite finding the right horse (I lost my perfect horse in 2017 after a few years of intermittent lameness & Cushings) But what would I do without a horse? I wouldn't do any more housework and I'd probably end up quite fat (I'm a bit podgy already!) I like looking after them and faffingso I have considered keeping them as just pets.

I've had the current horse six months now, he will buck for fun in certain situations which I don't like but he's ni ce enough to let me sort myself out if I land in a bit of a heap without taking advantage. Then he properly bucked me off a few weeks ago and I've not had the guts to canter since! We think it was a saddle issue (was using a saddle that came with him when I bought him which wasn't great) and I think it's been sorted with a replacement saddle (Ideal impala which is probably the most comfortable saddle I've ever had) but I still don't dare canter! Pathetic, eh?

The other thing that makes me feel sort of ungrateful is that I have everything I've ever wanted - a fabulous privately rented yard with a school, transport, all the gear - it's just 20 odd years too late.

Anyway, rather than having two horses myself (currently have a friend's horse on loan as a companion) I'm having a livery move in in a couple of weeks so will see how that goes - hoping having some company might help my motivation and confidence. If this doesn't work, I'll either have to just keep this boy as a pet or sell him (and I'd have to get someone to sell him for me because I can't show a horse off properly because I'm too pathetic) and find myself a complete dobbin.

As for doing things differently if I had my time over again, there's a few horses I wouldn't have bought (knocked my confidence or not quite right for me) one I wouldn't have sold (more out of guilt than anything else) and a couple that I wish I had bought that I missed out on.

 

[AandK]

Yes I absolutely would.

I’ve had my share of awful experiences and heartbreak with horses but the good days, the breakthroughs and happy moments make it all worth it. I wouldn’t want to live any other way…

Me too. I liken it to an addiction.

Same for me too. I've had some amazing times, and some dark times over the years, but I wouldn't change a thing. I can't imagine not having horses in my life.

 

[IrishMilo]

I don't believe there is such a thing as having bad luck when it comes to horses. IMO if you have a horse it's just a given that you're going to go through bad times with them. They're stupidly fragile and not designed for what we ask of them!

I'm more shocked when someone has a horse that's been in solid work over a number of years than if they break! I don't know a single person who hasn't had some kind of physical issue with their horse and I just accept it as part of the package.

Horses and riding is just in my bones. I gave up owning for about a year after my last horse was PTS but was still riding 4/5 times a week on various horses. I was much better off financially, time wise etc. but I missed the daily humdrum of it. I bought a horse to fill that void and guess what... he's broken!

 

[southerncomfort]

Yes, 100%. But I'd do things very very differently knowing what I know now.

This. I'd make some much wiser decisions for sure.

 

[Birker2020]

Yes but I'd bypass all the bitchiness I've found from people along the way.

 

[PurBee]

I'm at the stage where I'm caring for two aging horses with health conditions so currently I'd kill for just one evening off.
Or a long weekend somewhere.

Exactly this - the 24/7/365 commitment can be a real challenge to sustain and what i struggle with at times - just wanting a week off. Its mainly because i cant embrace a lot of other stuff in life, like a weekend away with OH, and refuse invites as i have horses at home and they have their schedule.

If i could do it again, i wouldnt own, i’d volunteer at yards doing chores adhoc, being around horses etc….im a leisure rider, not competitor so dont have to or need horses as i dont have strong aims with them - that way i get my horsey fix - even the smell of a yard i love! - and others who have chosen the full 100% ownership get some help to relieve the 24/7 burden somewhat. I’d essentially become a helper for those who choose ownership as i know the stress that can bring!

 

[FestiveG]

I would definitely do it all again. I've made good friends along the way, who I'd never have met, the horses we've had have helped a lot of other people as well.
There are loads of things that I've done that I never would have if I'd not been around horses, including driving a wagon?, keeping sheep, which has meant that I could spin my own, home grown wool.
Each horse has taught me along the way and they have all been their own "person".

 

[Lurfy]

Yes I would definitely have horses again. I have a lifetime of wonderful memories with various horses over the decades. The ratio of good to bad memories would be 90:10, so definitely worth it for me.

 

[SEL]

Me too. I liken it to an addiction.

I had a 6 month gap once when my horse retired back to his old owner. It was a miserable autumn and to start with it was a relief not to sit at work thinking of a wet, miserable horse waiting for me

Then the itch started!! I did a lot of fabulous overseas horse riding trips in incredible places, but it's never the same as having one call to you in the morning for their breakfast.

Currently all broken but I just love spending time with them although I am missing riding

 

[exracehorse]

In all honesty.. I sometimes think of selling my three. Putting the two retired in grass livery. Have loads of money. And just go and ride friends horses. I’m already stressing as my summer paddocks are bone dry. Grass not growing. And apparently hay will be very expensive this winter.

 

[maisie06]

100% yes.

Its not always been easy or without difficulties but I've not regretted having horses in my life. They've bought so much in so many ways.

@maisie06 I couldn't read your comment without responding. I'm so sorry you feel that way about your life, do you have someone you can talk to about how your feeling & help you find move forwards?

Thankyou both but I have felt this way since I was around 11, can't do councelling as I found the councillors over the years to be patronising. Nothing will change for me now and I'm eagerly awaiting the day I die!!! I am feeling more and more furious at my parents though for being stupid and selfish and having a child they couldn't be bothered with nor afford...

 

[sbloom]

My "do it differently" is about the horse, posture, vagal nerve and parasympathetic stuff, how to truly allow horses choice when we work with them, to develop a partnership in a way that isn't about sport or any kind of achievement other than the progressive improvement of the wellbeing of the horse, in and out of work. I regret much of my horse owning life but it led me to this place.

 

[Peglo]

I feel so lucky in that I’ve had few downs tbh. I still have my first pony that I got when we were 13, my first horse I got when I was 16 and just bought a 3rd last year (My backup who is everything I didn’t know I wanted in a pony) I’m 30 now. it’s never been about the riding so much for me but the owning, doing the work and loving them but I am enjoying having one I can ride again. But if I couldn’t ride I’d still be happy.

I haven’t been on holiday for years as my old 2 are needing more care and it’s a big ask for someone to do it. Also spent a fair amount of money on new stables ? but that’s money well. spent.

I was at my best friends wedding at the weekend and I had to leave to put the horses in. It doesn’t faze me planning my life around them. Once they’re in I can go back to the party and worry about getting them out at 6 the next day ?

 

[Shilasdair]

Thankyou both but I have felt this way since I was around 11, can't do councelling as I found the councillors over the years to be patronising. Nothing will change for me now and I'm eagerly awaiting the day I die!!! I am feeling more and more furious at my parents though for being stupid and selfish and having a child they couldn't be bothered with nor afford...

Just curious - why will nothing change for you now? A lot can change in a day, a month, a year.

 

[scats]

Thinking more about it, I’ve made so many friends, learnt a lot about myself, had many great experiences, had some hideous experiences, met some wonderful horses, learned to be resilient, tough, learned how to deal with bitchiness, worked out which people I’m best avoiding, learnt a lot about life in general…

That’s a pretty good life education for a hobby!

 

[Ceifer]

Difficult one -
On the one hand horses have saved me many a time. I loved riding as a child/teenager and it took my mind off my parents messy divorce.
However I then got into working with them and then struggled to get out. I’d also say that I had a predominantly negative experience being employed as a groom but I guess you could argue that’s down to people not horses.
Owning horses - being honest I don’t think I’ve ever found my ‘heart horse’. And I’m not sure if that’s because I’ve dealt with so many horses and conditioned myself not to get too attached having loved so many that ultimately weren’t mine or because I’ve genuinely not found the one.

As an adult I’ve found it harder to get the same joy I had as a child/teenager.
I feel like although I’m only in my 30s this is going to be my last stint owning as I can’t see myself in old age (if I get there!) riding.

 

[littleshetland]

Horses do seem to be an addiction, Ive known one or two people try and give them up in an effort to regain their finances and sanity...only to crack a few weeks later and get another one. It does seem like an awful lot of heartache and tears for the occasional 'golden' few minutes...but those few minutes are priceless.
I'm definitely an addict...I'm incapable of going for a walk without thinking 'ooh, nice place for a canter' or swimming in the sea and thinking 'wish I had my horse with me...'. If I'm on holiday, and I spot one - I'm drawn to it like a magnet.
I don't regret my life of horses too much tho, Ive met some fantastic people through horses and in many ways learned a lot about myself and some of my happiest moments have been on the back of a horse as have some of my scariest ones....all 'grist for the mill' I guess.
If I could do it all again - would I have the horses? I think I probably would..maybe.

 

[conkers]

If you had asked me this 5 or 6 years ago I would have given an emphatic - Yes. They were my entire life and I didn't regret a thing or a penny spent.

However, the last 5 or 6 years have been unpleasant due to some of the people I have encountered and now I would have to say - No. All of the joy has been sucked out of it and my current horse will be my last.

I now wish that I'd put more into my pension and bought a house somewhere really nice instead. For me, the horse world has changed in the last 30 years and not for the better.

 

[Flame_]

I'd have to be a whole different person if I'd not got into horses, it's like my identity. I decided when I was about 12 that what I needed for happiness was a riding horse and a horsebox. Just about 99% of my energy and my choices ever since have been about maintaining that. That's possibly kind of a sickness or obsession but it seems right to me and I wouldn't want to be somebody else.

The only thing I'd change, with hindsight, is I'd have binned off sports horses and converted to arabs sooner.

 

[J&S]

Horses have saved my life and I would not change my relationship with them for the world. Now things are on a more even keel they will be what keeps me going.

 

[YorkshireLady]

It is a way of life.....a way to make the most fabulous friends...

I would perhaps do some horses i had differently but not give up horses. I love riding and a real sense of grace and freedom and love horses of all types and learning all about them.

It also has given me a reason to work hard - no bad thing.

 

[palo1]

I would not say I am addicted to horses but they are pretty central to my life, our family culture, where we live and how we live. I could give them up and enjoy just living in the countryside, having the dogs, reading, cooking etc. BUT I have been places on my horses and seen things whilst riding that money cannot buy, that cannot be experienced in any other way and those things remain extraordinarily powerful and life enhancing. I have ridden full pelt in a storm on the mountain and had to trust my horse to keep me safe at the same time as feeling the full elemental force of the weather for example and I have sat quietly on Midsummer's eve, alone other than for the horse watching the sun go down and knowing that I would get home in the dark, in the company of a wonderful friend. I have ridden with my OH and children camping with horses and sharing our local countryside without needing anything other than what we took with us. I have watched young kites playing with sheep's wool in the air and ravens hunting larks though both of those things could have been experienced on foot (with a great deal of walking lol). There are daily things about the horses that ground me and reconnect me to simple routines and physical awareness of myself - things I personally need to stay mentally and physically healthy. I think it has taken me a long time to realise that horses are much, much more to me than 'sport', leisure or entertainment and that although funding them is frustrating and difficult, it is a relatively small price to pay (in terms of missed holidays, decent cars, bigger mortgage payments (not massively appealing actually!!) for what they have 'given' me. I have had the privilege of living with some truly extraordinary characters and athletes and I hope I never take that for granted.

I am sometimes sad about difficult times and early farewells and yes, I wish I had had more sense at times and possibly made different decisions on a small scale but I don't regret anything about living with horses and about the rhythm they have brought to my life. I still wish they didn't blooming cost so much money when we live in a money centred world. However, horses have been friends, a source of constant fascination, mental challenge, sensory delight and physical and mental solace for all of my life. I just hope I am reunited with the ones that have gone before me, eventually. And perhaps, when I am 85 or 90 something I will buy a wild young horse, take off my skid-lid and head for the biggest hedge I can find.

 

[TotalMadgeness]

Luckily my mam forced me to get an education and refused to allow me to work with horses. It was hard at the time but I respected her decision and thank god I followed it. Took years to get back to horses but in my mid thirties I was in a position to do so. I now have a good career, a home and my own land where my two horses live out their days in peace. Even so it has not been an easy journey having horses - definitely more issues than not I would say.

 

[cauda equina]

Horses are like Homer Simpson's take on beer -
The cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems