If you had your time again, would you bother with horses?

[I'm Dun]

Just curious - why will nothing change for you now? A lot can change in a day, a month, a year.

My life has changed dramatically and in ways I could never have imagined so many times. If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be down to one horse on livery, and sitting typing this on a boat I bought and renovated completely by myself, I'd have told you you were delusional, and yet here we are and I am very happy

I wasnt a few months ago. I was in the darkest place I have ever been. But nothing lasts forever and its perfectly possible to turn your life around. I'm mid 40s and heading back to uni in september. I wont be the oldest person there by a long stretch!

 

[The Irish Draft 2022]

I have seen so many older people regret having horses because they were so obsessed with horses they never had a chance of getting married and having kids. They ended up being lonely so horse are a blasting and curse . They help so many people mentally in my opinion they are worth the stress.

 

[GinaGeo]

Yes I would.

There is something about being around horses that feels like home. They make me a better person, and they give me a focus.

 

[Shilasdair]

My life has changed dramatically and in ways I could never have imagined so many times. If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be down to one horse on livery, and sitting typing this on a boat I bought and renovated completely by myself, I'd have told you you were delusional, and yet here we are and I am very happy

I wasnt a few months ago. I was in the darkest place I have ever been. But nothing lasts forever and its perfectly possible to turn your life around. I'm mid 40s and heading back to uni in september. I wont be the oldest person there by a long stretch!

I agree.
About 10 years ago, in the space of 6 months my dad died, I found my partner of 12 years was a liar/cheat so left him, had to put my horse of 18 years down, and had to move house.

It was the start of a new beginning- I have a lovely partner now, and life has been generally good.

 

[BeansNsausages]

On a considerably smaller scale.

I would probably just ride for someone else and have saved many thousands of pounds and hours.

 

[ArklePig]

I think about this a lot. If I'd my way, I wouldn't have given up when I was younger as I was a great rider with lots of potential and now I'm an absolutely shite rider with no confidence. In contrast, I'm currently thinking of packing in horses and I don't even own one, just have a share, and I wonder if I'd feel like that if I was better/ more confident.

 

[norolim]

I'm only at the tip of the iceberg in terms of being involved with horses and I feel that my biggest regret so far is not starting sooner. I remember being about 10 years old saving my (hardly anything) pocket money for lessons but not getting anywhere with it, especially having non-horsey family. I would have occasional rides on holidays but they were few and far between, so it was always something I told myself as a child that I would do when I had money and now that's exactly what I'm doing.

Admittedly, I've never experienced the heartbreak and stress that others have but at the moment I love it and it makes me happy.

Getting into horses has done wonders for my overall wellbeing, improved my confidence and I've already made some good friends. I look forward to many more years of it.

 

[SilverLinings]

I can't imagine not having horses, there would be no 'point' to my life - I don't mean that in a sad way, just as a statement of fact. If I didn't have horses to pay for work would feel pretty pointless as there's nothing that (for me) would replace the joy I get from horses. What would be the point in getting out of bed every morning? My aims and goals in life are horse related, and the milestones in my life have been marked by horses or horse-related events. If I try to think of happy memories from my past then only horses/horse events come to mind. I honestly don't think I'd have survived childhood and my teenage years without the obsession I already had with horses.

It is evident from many of the posts on this thread that for some of us horses are a overwhelming need and not a want, it is an obsession or compulsion which most people I know IRL cannot understand. It feels pointless just to 'live' without a reason or focus, and for me that is horses. I think I would be in a very dark place without them.

 

[Bellaboo18]

Definitely. Absolutely no doubt.
They're my constant. I've always found I'm at home with my animals and I'd be lost without them.
I don't think I've missed out on anything because of them but I did have a break to get married and buy a house, which I don't regret and was the right choice at the time.
I've had tough days and sleepless nights of worry but I just think that's life. Life is hard. Rehabbing my current mare has been the hardest thing I've ever done but also the best and I'm so incredibly proud of her.
I suppose the regret of it has been the 'strain' on my relationship. My husband thinks without them we'd be holidaying every month. We wouldn't be. Maybe if I had my time again I'd just pick a different OH ??

 

[HappyHollyDays]

Luckily my mam forced me to get an education and refused to allow me to work with horses. It was hard at the time but I respected her decision and thank god I followed it. Took years to get back to horses but in my mid thirties I was in a position to do so. I now have a good career, a home and my own land where my two horses live out their days in peace. Even so it has not been an easy journey having horses - definitely more issues than not I would say.

My dad was exactly the same. He insisted I pursue a career and horses went on hold from 25 to 50 when I retired and could afford the time to devote to them. Sadly he passed away before he could see my two boys but I’m ever grateful for his wisdom.

 

[lme]

I can’t imagine not having them, even though I do a job that’s not really compatible with horse ownership and my little herd is on full livery split between multiple yards. They are family.

 

[Esmae]

Only if I could be born in the same era. Riding in the 60s was a carefree existence for horses and riders. The roads were quieter and it was easier to find places to ride. Few people had horse transport, so most competitions were within hacking distance, particularly if you asked a farmer to let you cross his fields. Horses weren't kept in individual paddocks on livery yards and matchy bling merchandise didn't exist. Young kids had more freedom to play from dawn till dusk whilst learning how not to kill themselves.
Horseownership today is more stressful with livery yards offering less turnout particularly herd TO. Vets seem to rely on diagnostic tests, rather than skill and experience, partly thanks to the horse insurance industry.
Also, today, many owners seem to be so serious about going to clinics and competitions and buying contraptions to ensure their horse works in an idealised frame. Whatever happened to just having fun ?
If I was starting out in this era, I'd only do so, if I lived in a place with a horse friendly culture and my own land.

I agree with every word and sentiment. It's supposed to be fun. I couldn't have not ridden or had horses in my life. They have always given my life meaning in every sense.

 

[honetpot]

I came from a non horsey family, and have always been grateful for what I have and made do with. The ponies and horses that have mainly been cheap and cheerful, and everything else. I have done what I could, and made the best of everything, but I have been lucky, and had to some people low expectations. There is no greater joy than the firsts in a young animal's life, getting over the wobbles, and then when you have your children watching their firsts.
I never invest more than I can afford to lose, and I have a very strict line when to PTS with myself. I sold a horse the other year that is now worth a lot of money, but my pleasure has been looking after him and seeing him go on. I like finding the ugly duckling, and finding the right home when it matures.
I could never imagine not having them and perhaps like a past elderly neighbour I will have one at the bottom of the garden that I can take for walks.
Working with them at sixteen made me realise that I wanted them as a hobby, that I was not going to be a 'top' rider, so got a better paid job, my husband and children come first, I am not totally obsessed by them.

 

[Shilasdair]

Actually, I think my earlier comment about wanting time off was unduly negative.
I have loved owning horses, riding horses, working with horses, teaching etc. and my life would have been much less rich had I not done so.
I was also one of the lucky ones who had a very good career in the equine industry so haven't suffered financially - quite the contrary.
I've just found the last few months hard as I was ill with Omicron, and it knocked me for six.
I think you can find happiness in all situations - so I can't ride my 'ornamental' two horses - but if I wasn't outside looking after them I wouldn't hear the birds, see the spring blossoms, the first swallows, maybe hear a cuckoo (not this year yet).

 

[spotty_pony]

I’m down to one now (who is almost 23) and am scared to think about life without any horses. I have a long term plan for making more money to be able to afford another but if I don’t manage to in time I will be horseless! I would still have my friend’s boy to look after but I have had my own for over half of my life so it’s second nature. Yes I would be better off financially without horses but I don’t think I would cope mentally. They are a part of the family to me as much as they are a hobby.

 

[Caol Ila]

Yes, because they are like crack. There are so many things I would have done if I didn't have one -- lived for longer than three months in New York City, more travel, moved to some place that wasn't the UK for postgraduate degrees, etc. etc. But also, crack. My brain is wired to need them.

 

[sunnyone]

Absolutely., but preferably before I got to 23. My first horse kept me sane despite being a s___ to catch, as I coped with all the pressures of adult life. I bought her as a rising 3 year old and she died at 27. Our relationship outlasted my first marriage, which in itself only lasted as long as 16 years because of her, as I spent lots of dàylight time at the field.
Later, when I was severely ill following an illness similar to COVID my recovery to fitness was very much motivated by working towards a date when I wanted to ride again. Mind over muscle got me there.
More recently the need to go and check on the horses meant that we could go beyond the 1km COVID curfew restrictions imposed on us in Francé., and cycling there when practical gave us better exercise than a car We. weren't allowed to ride though.
Whilst I have sometimes struggled to find the money to pay for their upkeep I've never resented it. My horses have never been a status symbol, just a beautiful part of life and they make me smile every time I am with them.

 

[Bernster]

I do wonder what my life would be like without them, as they take up so much time, energy and focus. I came back to horses after a fairly long break, in my 30s, but have had them ever since. Although I’ve had health issues with some along the way, they have been the source of so much fun and many adventures. I’ve met great friends, done some fabulous things - they really are good for the soul. They are a bit like an addiction, or a passion, but for me, a good one.

It may seem odd but I might have had children if I hadn’t spent so much of my later adult years messing about with horses (but I’ve never been maternal so perhaps not).

 

[smolmaus]

I am another one who's "do it over again" would probably be MORE horses, or at least sooner. If I had learned to drive at 16 I could have had so many opportunities and I know they would have involved horses. As soon as I did get in a car they were the first thing I needed to do. If I'd had something I loved to focus on I might not have made some mistakes that I made in my 20s. Those mistakes also cost a lot of money so I would maybe be better off financially too! ? (I don't mean drugs btw lol)

But then I maybe wouldn't have met the people and ponies that are very special to me now so who knows if it would have been better. The last few years, even with everything going on in the world, (as well as buying a house, partner doing his PhD, all big stresses!!) I've never been on a more even keel mentally.

 

[Widgeon]

My horsey life has always been something of a compromise, and to be honest that's how I'd do it again I think. I had riding lessons as a child then teenager but there wasn't enough money for a pony, which was fine - the RS was a fun place to be and I was broadly happy. Then I stopped riding while at university (no money!) and didn't pick it up again properly until about seven years later. I had lessons, then a share, then when I was thirty and had enough income for it not to be too much of a struggle, I bought my own. I have thought about moving him to a field with a friend's horses, to keep costs down, but I'm another one who struggles with nerves and motivation, and being on a small friendly livery yard helps keep me going when I'm having a wobble. With a horse in a field and no one to chat to I'd be worried my confidence would just slowly erode.

I'm glad I never overstretched myself financially, particularly in my twenties, but I completely agree that horses are more of an addiction than a hobby - without them, there's a hole in my life. That's fine if its temporary (money, kids, etc) but I can't imagine saying to myself, I will never have another one.

 

[JoannaC]

I've been reading books where the character dies and wakes up at a previous point in their lives but with all the knowledge of their previous lives so have had this conversation recently on what would you do if you woke up at 13 knowing everything you know now. I would definitely continue with horses but I would also do things differently. I wouldn't have sold my pony to buy a car when I was 17 for starters and I probably wouldn't be so much in a rush to have my own land with horses at home or at least try to do it when I was younger and had more energy. On the one side I love how I keep them now but i've completely lost interest in actually riding. I miss having people to ride with and the great hacking where I used to live although nothing beats opening your curtains and seeing your horses outside your window.

 

[Alibear]

If I went round again I'd find a way around parental guidance and I'd work with horses. No idea how that would pan out, I doubt it would be long term but I never got the chance and it's one thing that I do still wonder about.
I have a good life, love my family etc and have a really good office job. But that job has given me several long term health conditions and was not the cushy life my parents thought it would be. I've had too many ties to change it since I realised the issues back in my early 20s. So the horses would stay and perhaps more so if I had a do-over. They too have provided a lot of stress and challenges, but the good times make up for it. They've definitely saved me from heading down a very dark path a few times during my life.

 

[tulla100]

First pony 1967, unbroken New Forest colt cost £30. All my family could afford at the time. Not the best for a beginner. Never had any lessons in those days, Dad said just grip with your knees. Every day you learn something new about them. Now at 62 still keeping horses, still learning

 

[Rocky159]

Absolutley not! One of my biggest regrets in life was getting involved with horses, struggling to pay for them and ploughing in money I should have been saving towards a mortgage, I'm now the wrong side of 50, renting, could be kicked out anytime, no time to pursue a proper job so always did low end menial stuff to pay for the horses. I did have one horse I had a bond with but lost him at a young age, I think I then just kept drifting through, buying and selling them just to find another special one....then the winters got harder and wetter and my weight rocketed so I finally sold up....I wouldn't have another if it was free....

My second biggest regret is not getting a proper education and a good job and leaving the UK.....Honestly my whole life is one big regret, I actually wish I had never been born...

Maisie,
Please ring me for a chat. Will try to help practically and mentally. Similar age and experience. 07983231425

 

[Jango]

Absolutely! I've given myself a few breaks over the years and I've always been desperate to return back to having my own horse. When I went to uni I gave up my loan horse, within 6 weeks I was riding for people again and as soon as I finished uni I bought my first horse of my own. A year after uni I went off for a ski season and I was again desperate to come back and enjoy time with my horse again.

I had a really tough few years with lameness, but horses are in my blood and I can't imagine just going to the gym or similar every morning instead of the yard!

BUT I'm very lucky (and I've made choices to build my life in a way) to have enough money/time to be able to enjoy my horse and still have a normal life, I go on 3-4 holidays a year, lots of weekends away, eat out every week etc. If the choice was a life that was 100% horses or a "normal" life I think I would struggle to decide.

 

[Shysmum]

NO !!!! Money, time, bitchiness, hard work, vet Bill's, poo picking, mucking out, frozen water., money, lack of holidays... absolutely no, though I love my two to bits x

 

[vmac66]

Yes definitely.
I had ponies when I was younger then life got in the way, mortgage ,work kids etc. I dipped in and out of horses for 30 years but always felt like there was something missing. When got a horse at the age of 48 it felt like coming home and I'd found the missing piece .

 

[Orangehorse]

I have had ponies/horses since I was 7. I had a 10 year break when my children were small, which was a mistake as I never got back into riding at the level I was before children - but then I might never done so anyway. I kept riding, exercising for someone occasionally, and we had a pony for the children. I missed the riding, but not the work involved.

My mother was appalled at the cost and time and kept asking me to give up and I thought "but what would I spend my money on?" I had a lot of nice times and did fairly well with competitions and went to lots of interesting places and met interesting people - and spent an awful lot of money on clinics, lessons, saddles as well as the constant upkeep of horse(s). I would be vastly better off if I had not had horses!

I met lots of acquaintances but not real friends, but maybe that is just me and I always kept my animals at home or at least not in a livery yard.

The one thing that I notice is how many people have trouble with soundness in their animals. I only ever had one that was "one of those" always in trouble, nothing awful, but just enough to keep him off work. I got fed up with him and was able to sell him in one of his sound periods and he even passed the vet, but went on just the same I heard later.

Others have had short periods of unsoundness - but nothing terrible, accidents and incidents mostly, not strains, and they returned to full work. I used to hunt, event, show jump and did showing as well and a gymkhana every week as children and teenager, so they were well used. My sister's horses were the same, they were always sound and did years of eventing and hunting. So is that from the breeding, or the way they are kept and used?

There is really nothing worse that a horse that keeps going lame, because they cost the same - or more - whether they are being ridden or not. I think I would find that very disheartening.

Now I am an OAP, and so is my horse, I am finding the work very hard, which is a big and unpleasant surprise. I never thought I would get old (you never do!). But the horses certainly get me out of bed in the morning. There have been periods in my life when I don't think I would have got out of bed, if I hadn't had to go and feed and let them out.

 

[ponynutz]

Right now, no, but that's because I'm basically horseless and know it'll be a while before I can afford my own in this economy. But I don't regret it either, had a wonderful childhood thanks to horses!

 

[poiuytrewq]

My life would be so so different. I was mid A levels and aiming for university when I realised I couldn’t afford my beloved horse (non horsey parents who also couldn’t afford it so I had to pay myself)
So I left and took a working pupil position on a yard. Chucked away any chance of an education and decent job so yes I’d probably in hindsight never have got into horses!
I could now be a high flyer instead of still shovelling other peoples horse shit.
That sounds bitter, I’m not I love my horses and am very lucky to have them.