If you RI told you, you were not suited to your horse - what would you do?

[Gingerwitch]

As above really - just interested if other people would get a second opinion, or would you sell up or would you just think - I will show you that I can....! And has anyone ever gone through this, and what did you do, what was the outcome etc

 

[tangoharvey]

My RI hasnt but my vet did - he said my horse was needed too much work as she wouldnt pick her feet up, after sometime thinking about it getting advice on this forum, I ignored his advice and 3 months later have the perfect horse!! I would be determined to prove RI wrong.....

 

[Ellies_mum2]

Not been in this situation up to now but I'm the sort of person who would say 'O yeah? Watch me' and be determined to prove them wrong

 

[Booboos]

How do you feel about it? Do you enjoy riding your horse? Do you enjoy working on improving your relationship? Or do you feel too scared/frustrated/fed up riding him?

If you enjoy riding him, who cares what the RI thinks!!! Find a different instructor who can work with you, not against you!

If you feel the RI is telling you something you already know but had trouble acknowledging, then maybe it's time to think about moving on.

 

[noblesteed]

Ahhh yes I'v been in that situation... a year ago my RI told me to sell my horse. I was determined to prove her wrong, then he had an accident, then I had an accident, moved yards for a fresh start, and now we're both mended and in work, I am beginning to think she was right and seriously thinking about selling.(you may have seen the post I put on earlier today)

What are her reasons and why? If they are to do with you, then you can put them right and prove her wrong. But if they are to do with the horse, and she is experienced, I might listen...

Tho if you're like me - stubborn as hell - I wouldn't listen.

 

[JoBo]

I really think it depends on how much you really trust your RI? And also how you feel inside, are you battling on with a horse you aren’t enjoying? If the answer is YES, and you aren’t having fun (which is why we do it, right!), then I would listen to my RI.

I sold a horse that wasn’t ‘me’ (a TBx) and bought something that was 'me' (my coloured cob) and have never looked back, I am just having so, so much more FUN now!

 

[brucea]

That would be more of a reflection on the abilities of your RI then....

 

[Umbongo]

I too am the kind of person who will say "ok then...watch me!"
I don't have a horse right now but my instructor used to say on a certain horse, my jumping position went to pot and he wasn't the horse for me.
So next lesson and thereafter I absolutely jumped my heart out and showed her the PERFECT jumping position

It depends on the horse, do you think you are suited to him? If I thought I was suited to my horse, or would be with some work, I would be showing my instructor what we can achieve.

Although in some situations as said above, if you are battling and not having fun, then listening to your RI is valuable....though I'm pretty stubborn too

 

[lauraandjack]

I agree with noblesteed and JoBo - ask yourself some really searching questions about whether this is really the right horse for you in your situation at this time.

Owning a horse is all about enjoyment. It's not a cheap hobby, so if you're not enjoying it, it's a waste of money.

A friend is in this sort of situation. She has a lovely TB, but unfortunately he is one of those horses who needs to be worked nearly every day, or he gets bored and naughty. Riding every day is just not possible for her due to work commitments. She has had some unpleasant bolting incidents and a very nasty fall (which, in fairness to the horse was not due to his naughtiness for once, but still it did nothing for her confidence). So now she has a horse who is essentially a pet, because of a loss of confidence, and he is just not the right horse for her at this time. But she won't sell him.

If you think he really is the right horse for you, then go for it and prove the critics wrong. But it isn't defeat to admit that there might be a better horse out there for you in your current situation.

 

[reddie]

It depend on how I felt about riding the horse and if I felt confident and enjoyed riding it, rather than what the RI would say. If I was having problems with the horse, felt overhorsed or underhorsed then i may ask their advice. I would look at the whole picture rather than just one person's opinion.

 

[ester]

I would give it some serious consideration. Given my assumption that your RI will have seen a lot of combinations some that work and some that dont work. I know of a number of what i deem bad combinations where neither horse or rider are really enjoying their relationship and they are just badly matched and I feel sorry for both of them that they could be enjoying themselves much more.

I feel like me and my boy fit mum and hers shouldnt fit on paper at all and although said horse is currently being a pain in the arse I cant see her going anywhere

 

[HumBugsey]

I think it depends on the reasoning I think. If it was, "you can't give the amount of work this horse needs" then I would at least seriously think about it. I think that goes for any reasoning that has the horses welfare at the heart of it. If it was "you can't ride him properly" I'd probs tell 'em to F off, I'll learn

 

[FrodoBeutlin]

It totally depends on what you want. It has happened to me and with more than one RI! When Rauti was 4 to 6 (even 7 actually) plenty of people were telling me with annoying regularity that he wasn't good enough to be a dressage horse, he was only good enough 'to hack out' etc. I don't know whether these people really meant it, or whether they were hoping I would sell him and buy a new one through them. Pity is that I could never afford the kind of horses they'd sell (think about 50k minimum, for youngsters!) so I had to stick with Rauti.
I changed trainers very very often as it can be really frustrating to work with somebody who is convinced your horse shouldn't be in the dressage arena! He was getting good scores and winning a lot at lower levels but still they never changed their mind.

Everything changed when I moved to Germany, paradoxically people are far more open minded and might actually consider horses who are not Hanoverians or Oldenburgs

Now he is 10 and working at advanced with a lot of talent for piaffe and passage, so we win

 

[millitiger]

if i liked riding my horse then i wouldn't pay any attention to anyone who told me to sell.

however, if you have a niggling doubt about whether the horse is right for you or you aren't enjoying it then i may take a bit more notice.

 

[LadyRascasse]

well i think i would agree with my riding instructor because she has been fab and will never say never until she thinks its really really isn't working.

 

[Walrus]

Totally depends but if I was having problems with the horse, the RI knew me and the horse very well and had tried everything to help us through the problems and as a last resort sat me down (or picked me up out of the dirt for the umpteenth time) and discussed with me what my horse needed and what type of horse they thought suited me, in that situation then yes I would seriously consider what they were saying.

If on the other hand they had not been around very long, didnt really know me or the horse and said it as an off the cuff or blunt suggestion then I would get a new RI.

 

[skewby]

That would be more of a reflection on the abilities of your RI then....

That was my first thought

When I first got my horse, EVERYONE told me we were totally unsuited and that we were a liability! 7.5 years later I've got the most awesome allrounder who is PERFECT for me and has taught me loads.

I have done this with a fabulous instructor with us every step of the way though - she never gave up on us. In our first ever lesson with her we motorbiked round the arena at warp speed and she wasn't fazed, just pleased she'd seen the behaviour she had to deal with! And then, she dealt with it!

Also, loved the horse to pieces from the moment I sat on him. So had a huge will to persevere through the grotty times.

 

[MrsMozart]

Ditto the other responses

With Tiggy I had a RI who said I wasn't good enough for her and that it would be years before we built up any sort of relationship. Given that it turns out that she was probably in pain for a large part of the time I think it showed that she trusted and put her faith in me far more than any of us, including me, realized. When I was told to sell her, by the RI, it made me grit my teeth and be determined to do better so that I was good enough for my girl. As far as I was concerened she was going no-where.

With Dizz I know that there are a number of people who think 'there goes the stupid woman, more money than sense, gone out and bought a flashy Warmblood and now can't handle her'. Well Pah! to them. I handled her before I came off, the fall was a silly one with no-one at fault, and I'll handle her again. I have to learn again because she has grown and matured a bit more and changed shape, and I have a slight nerves issue to overcome that wasn't there before, but we will do it . My RI worries only that I don't ride often enough, and that Dizz is not worked often enough, but, I now get round that by getting up at five o'clock in the morning so as I can ride before work. My daughters will go with me to the yard, and we might even be able to get two worked before I have to leave for work .

I think that, as others have said, you have to look at yourself, be open and clear about your capabilities, and decide what level of effort you are both able and willing to put in. I have had to accept that I can't canter Dizz properly at the moment, so D1 does it for me after I have ridden, but, I have started (yes, it was just three strides lol) and will keep at it and will build up. My RI knows that I am doing this and so long as I keep at it she will keep supporting me

Sorry, that went on a bit, but it is currently an issue close to my heart

 

[JoG]

completely agree with brucea and skewby....we all surely employ a RI to get the best out of us and our (very beloved) horse. In their opinion it may not be the best amtch or they may have something far more suitable but you asked for them to get the best of you on that horse.

If he/she can't do that then they may find a vacancy on their books!!!

 

[Grey_Eventer]

Not my RI, but many people told me my old pony was unsuitable.
I was 10 when i got him and he was basically terrified of everything. Everyone said he was dangerous, out of control and completely wrong for me...
I stuck at it, re-trained him, sold him 4 years later.... he is now with a family of 4 kids and is just going out on loan for a few years while the 2 youngest children get a bit taller and so the new loan family can have a pony for all their kids! He also has a family who shares him, who both learnt to ride on him.
Proved them wrong and he is now one of the best ponies anyone could wish for...
It wasn't the RIs who told me, but more parents etc.
If my RI told me that I would find a new RI as what other people have said, they are there to get the best out of you and your horse, suitable match or not.

 

[SpottedCat]

As I would only train with people whose opinion I respected and who I thought knew more about how to help me than I did on my own, if they told me that I'd listen and give it serious thought. I can't see the point of paying people and then ignoring their opinion.

 

[Lolo]

I reckon it depends on the situation. If you are thinking something very similar, then maybe there's truth in it. We sent back a loan horse because our RI turned around and said that this horse wasn't right for my sister, she was too much work for her and too much too soon. And downright dangerous, but that's a different story tbh! We sent her back and within weeks had found a different pony and although new pony was no easier, they went from strength to strength and won a lot, and managed to acheive some pretty awesome feats. She would have never had such an amazing experience had we not agreed and sent the first horse back.

 

[oystercatcher]

(Sorry I haven't read all the other reply)

Personally I think you will know in your heart of hearts. My friends and fellow liveries would hint that me and my last horse wasn't siuted but it took me two years to realise. I used to become really nervous when riding her even at home so I decided to let go but when I got my new horse within three months I had regestered BSJA, won a puissance and improved my riding by a million per cent. So have a serrious think about it.

 

[Natch]

Depends on my gut reaction to their comment.

If it is true, it may be the trigger point you need to make you sit up & notice that its true, not bury your head. If its false, you would hopefully feel the burning wrongness of the statement inside you.

I haven't yet been told my horse isn't suitable for me, but I did have an instructor who told me I should never have bought my cob because he had sweet itch, and every so often would bring it back up again. Said cob became my horse of a lifetime, bald patchiness and all

I think you have to be a bit cynical: why are they telling you that? is it out of concern for you (and/or the horse) or because they'd quite like him, or they'd quite like to sell you another...?

 

[phoebeast]

i'd probabaly get a new instructor. i'd expect any RI to teach you how to ride any horse. surely that's the point, depending on what discipline you wanted yo do.

 

[Moggy in Manolos]

I would get a second opinion if told this for a start, if they agreed then I suppose I would have to take a look at myself and my horse and think about why that has been said I suppose and go from there

 

[eahotson]

I had a new instructor S.She seemed very good.I thought it was time that I should (and note that, should, not wished to) canter the horse that I had had for 2 years.I went sidewards to a localriding school I have used intermittently over a period of years, to try to regain some confidence with this.When I got there I didn't even dare trot on horses I had previously been very confident on.The instructor there said to me "I haven't seen your horse but you have the wrong one!" I was upset but we had a long chat and she said that I needed something a lot more straightforward that would walk, trot, canter and pop a small fence if I wanted it to without a fuss.I caught myself thing how much FUN I could have with a horse like that.Back to S.She was reluctant to comment and wanted to work a little longer with us.She took him out for a hack which was HORRENDOUS.Thank goodness it was her on his back and not me, there would have been a nasty accident otherwise.Turns out he was terrified of bikes!I knew it was the end then.We had a long talk.She said that she was often reluctant to advise people of the unsuitability of their horses because they became offended and she lost custom.She did no dealing herself!She further added that she sometimes struggled with peoplefor 2 or 3 years and got them something kind of rideable but mostly their riders gave up riding and the horse ended up standing in a field, which she personally feels is sad alround.I was never put under any pressure and it was always emphasized that it was MY horse,MY riding,MY decision.I did sell, honestly, to a good home and now have the newbie.I have done more, in the short time I have had him than I did with the spooky one and one of the things I most regret was the length of time I spent struggling with him.Other peoples experiences may be different and yes, I know we could have got round the bikes if that was all it was, but he was very alert and spooky generally and just was just not suitable for me.

 

[Marv99]

This happened to me a few years ago. Admittidly (sp?) I bit of more than I could chew and brought an unbacked 3 year old. My RI at the time asked me what I was doing with a horse like that and said he wasn't right for me. Well another RI later and we are getting along just fine!

I think as long as you are prepared to ask for help with necessary and horse can be the right horse for you as long as your willing to put in the hard work.

 

[NeedNewHorse]

Hmm.. I to, shouldn't have my horse. She is too much for me, well she is just too clever for me - I think the sun shines out of her XXX but she takes the piss. Having said that, I would never sell her. I will just keep trying as I love her to pieces and it is against my own odd personal ethics to sell her.
I know that if I got something sane I could go and out and compete and do all sorts, I cannot even get mine up the lane sometimes let alone do a dressage test. I fall off all the time, yet I just think one day she will take me seriously and we will be on form. She does scare me to death but we do work nicely too. I am lucky as I have great friend who always helps me out.

So the question is, do you want to? I truely think, if you do, then you will make it work. If you don't than you know what to do. I would go with your gut instinct. xxx Best of luck xxx

 

[PucciNPoni]

As I have an RI who's opinion I respect and who has my interest at heart...and when teaching me or anyone else, the fault never lies with the horse - always the rider...if she said we weren't suited, I would believe her. As it so happens, my last horse that I have worked really hard with over the past four plus years was not suited to me for what I want to do. But it was my own decision (aided by some heart to heart chats) that it was not meant to be. Then once that decision was made, she's offered to help me find another horse; in fact her words "I want to help you". Now this is not based on financial gain - as I was searching for a loan horse.