If your horse could understand just one thing ..

Oh, I did one for the youngster, but for the old boy, it would be that: as funny as HE thinks it is (and I may snigger a bit to begin with) it really isn't very nice for him to turn from geriatric hacker to racing TB (he is a twenty something cob BTW - even though he looks and feels about 8!!) and gallop off with my 60 yr old mother up a hill. Yes, he stopped when he got to the top of the hill, but I think that for a min there my poor mother thought she was a gonner!

It was kinda funny though...
 
That although I appreciate she wants to get to/from the field as quickly as possible, I can only walk at one speed and that her jogging/ growing 2 hands higher/pushing me into the fence/snorting and or rearing is not going to make me walk any quicker!
 
These make me smile.

I would like mine to know that he can trust me, and that therefore there are no monsters hacking alone, and the horsebox isn't going to eat him
 
That just because I don't own her doesn't mean I don't command as much respect as her owner.

If I could get that one through I think the partnership as a whole whould improve tenfold! Then we could enjoy all the activities she enjoys in a safer environment, not just go without so as to avoid accidents... though we are working on this!
 
Charlie - That being put in a box and taken somewhere new is not the end of the world :rolleyes:

Pixie - That she can survive without food for 5 minutes :rolleyes: :D
 
been trying really hard to have just one, but need a few, sorry!
When your nose is all snotty, please don't use my arm! - she only does this when I am in smart clothes and about to shoot off somewhere else, argh!
Nothing I ever ask of you will cause you to be hurt or harmed in anyway - this includes working on your own, eating wormer, walking past scary trees (note, PAST, not even up to or closer to - all I want to do is go PAST and then away from it!!).
I will also never starve you, it isn't necessary to gorge yourself in the field. This causes the tummy aches you suffer from so regularly and is totally avoidable - you will not waste away!!
Goodness, it would be such a help if she could understand these!!
 
For the ones I look after when volunteer at the RS:

R - Scary fly spray bottles will NOT kill you, I promise!

O - It is really not helpful to start doing piaffe on the end of your lead rope when leading you to the field when you hear your friends neigh.

H - Rubbing your bridle against the door and taking it off maybe cute to the little kids but not for me!

C - There is no need to be such a mare! You're not even chestnut!

A - Please stop peeing in your feed bucket....

D - It is ok to be separated from your girlfriend for 5 minutes when I need to wash your legs it won't kill you!

B - You don't need to tow me to the field, if you walked nicely we wouldn get there much faster ;)

T - Beating up H who is nearly twice the size of you isn't helpful and it doesn't make you brave either

C - Reversing & pulling demon faces when I tighten your girth doesn't help anyone, it won't kill you ;)
 
that if she jumps amazingly at every show we ever go to, for the other 6 days of the week she can do anything her heart desires..
 
That I have no interest in eating her feed and so the nasty faces at diner time do not need to be aimed at me, I like stake and chips not chaff and mix
 
That the world is a much better place if you just RELAX and stop tensing every muscle in your body... nothing is going to kill you!
 
That going xc ditches are to be jumped not stepped into and stepped out of. You look rediclous pussy footing around in the middle of a coffin. Fool!
 
All I want you to do is jump around this teeny weeny XC course and look after your mum, I don't care that it is 50cm and you are used to lots bigger, I just want to have a good time and no, it's not funny to put the brakes on just because you are more experienced than me
 
That just because the jump wings are high doesn't mean the pole in the middle is and that you don't have to try and jump to the hight of the top of the wings, it means I fall off and I don't like it! :D
 
Chum - you can pause for breath, you are not a lawnmower..

Toby - the flymask and flyspray will not kill you..

Norman & Cassidy - the electric fencing is to keep you in, not to be walked through..
 
Saffy - i was not put on this earth to be your slave and scratch you all the time!

Kelsi - as far as I know there are no birds in this country who eat horses.
 
Meg - I feed you during the winter when you need it most, I have no intention of poisoning you, so will you please eat it and stop charging off and making excuses that your full. Its tiring work following you with a bucket and spoon feeding you!
Juno - Iam not a scratching post!
Biggles - I will keep you safe, so stopping looking like you have seen a ghost, it worries me!!
 
That if she could walk like a normal horse, i would let her gallop all the time, well when its safe and the grounds not too hard and She's not recovering from injury he he!
 
Ron - that I'd like to be your friend if you'd let me. It is acceptable to have a human friend!

Tom - the world does not revolve around you alone, and there's no need to be the centre of attention all the time, we won't forget you're there!
 
That when the vet says "five minutes quiet walking in hand" following box rest,
it means quiet walking...not cantering sideways up the road, squeaking and grunting and bucking thrown in as extras...with me sailing behind like the tail on a kite.
 
That if they would just quit the self harming and realise how precious they are to me i would be a much happier mummy!!
 
F: It would be good if you could just avoid walking into me by looking where you are going.

B: Neither your owner, nor I are going to hurt you with a whip. ever.

G: Bullying, shredding, chasing, evacuating, mounting and generally being an annoying git to your friends is the reason you are in solitary confinement. If you could play nice and we could have rugs that were in one piece at the end of the day, you could have company.
 
that she does seem to enjoy her life, its cushy, so why not at least partially cooperate with the hooo-mans?
 
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