Ill health affecting riding ability

[TarrSteps]

I am so going to make the OP take up M&M showing. . . . *evil cackling*

 

[Pidgeon]

No everyone thinks natives are sensible and safe! My ISH is far more sensible than sisters native. Don't be tempted by Tarrsteps Lol.

 

[maximoo]

If I didn't have something to aim for think I would have sold up years ago but with the help of my hubby who has helped me through the tough times I still have my 3 horses and tells me chin up and carry on as life can only get better fingers crossed

 

[soulfull]

I am so going to make the OP take up M&M showing. . . . *evil cackling*

I take it I am missing something ?

No everyone thinks natives are sensible and safe! My ISH is far more sensible than sisters native. Don't be tempted by Tarrsteps Lol.

Yep sure is. As I've found out with Fi. There are some natives that are very sensible and fun. (so far anyway. Fingers crossed )

 

[dollyanna]

It won't help with your current horses, but what about looking into driving? You might find it easier physically than riding, provided you have good helpers around you, and if that was the case then you could start competing in driving. Is there anyone near you that could give you a taster? The advantage is that you could get a relatively small pony but still be very competitive when you are ready, so less to handle on a day to day basis but able to take you where you want to go. Is it worth a thought?

 

[LynH]

Maximoo - that sounds awful, I really hope that you feel better after the treatment. People don't realise that the medications are often more debilitating than the illness itself. I have to sleep for a few hours everyday thanks to the fentanyl.

Online dressage is a great idea as travelling is energy zapping and it's a worry that the test will tire me out too much to drive home. Online dressage would also give me an idea if I'm ready to do a test before I have to even think about going out.

Dunlin - I was misdiagnosed as having Fibromyalgia as my symptoms are very similar so I understand how hard it must be for you. I've done a similar thing in that I had to give up work due to the drugs I was on and haven't been able to have a family etc so I've also had my life severely limited but am fortunate that horses are the one thing I have been able to continue. I do have months on end when I cannot ride and times when like you when I got to a competition or clinic, paid my fee and then just to turn around and go home. My illness started when I was 32 and was very sudden as it was caused by a severe allergic reaction to prescription pain killers. I feel like 11 yrs of my life and any hope of having kids or a decent career has gone. I've also been lucky to have good support from my medical team re accepting what happened.

I'm sorry to hear that you had to give up your share but hopefully if you can still enjoy the horse without the pressure you will be able to look after yourself. I've made the mistake in the past of doing way too much when ill and ended up needing heart surgery as I put too much strain on my body whilst suffering from a major infection. I hope when your Fibromyalgia stabilises again that you will be able to ride more often.

Soulfull - sometimes it feels like you're the only one in this situation, the cycle of never actually getting any better is draining and horsey people generally are so stoical and will carry on riding with broken limbs or finish mucking out with a major injury before going to A&E later or even in a few days time. With a long term illness you often feel that you need to just keep going as everyone else seems to manage it when they are ill but a long term illness is a different beast altogether. It's the recovery from a good day that people fail to understand. I may look well one day and manage to go visit friends etc but only I see the aftermath and the days in pain or exhausted paying for a few hours of normality. Having horses has enough ups and downs with their problems and lamenesses but add to that the unpredictability of a long term illness and the years pass by very quickly.

I hope you manage to get to your show on Sunday and that you don't suffer for too long afterwards.

finngle - I do have a companion pony but the other two are 16.1 OTTB and 17hh ID who is 'crazy big' and powerful which is what makes it quite hard to keep her together. She's not a steady plod by any means, she's quite forward but the hard part is collecting her and preventing her getting strung out and behind the leg in a nervous way. You are right though, they do pick up on any weakness be it physical or emotional. I definitely won't be looking for such a big horse next time nor one quite so spooky and sensitive. However sometimes when everything health wise is an unknown then when it comes to a horse, better the devil you know.

 

[LynH]

It won't help with your current horses, but what about looking into driving? You might find it easier physically than riding, provided you have good helpers around you, and if that was the case then you could start competing in driving. Is there anyone near you that could give you a taster? The advantage is that you could get a relatively small pony but still be very competitive when you are ready, so less to handle on a day to day basis but able to take you where you want to go. Is it worth a thought?

As every bump in the car is agony I'm guessing driving would be quite uncomfortable for me but energy wise I can see why it would be a more realistic competitive buzz for some who cannot ride.

 

[Penumbra]

I don't have any support so have to do all myself
Like Sunday I am hoping to take her showing. I will have to get her bathed and ready. Load and drive her and all the kit. I will be alone
Come home and do everything again
It may well take me a week to recover

Or I could wake up Sunday too poorly to go

I am not yet ready to share her and can't afford to pay for help either


I didn't mean this to be a poor me post. More I know how difficult it can be!!

Could you find a horseless, enthusiastic teenager/student to help you at shows? As a horseless student with very little money, I have done things like this over the past couple of years in order to be around horses. I enjoy going to shows as "groom" as well. It was also a good way for me to build horsey contacts, so if there was ever someone who needed a rider, it meant I could sometimes pick up a ride, but I did not expect riding in exchange for my time.

I know this isn't always possible, especially if your horse isn't the easiest to handle, but it might be worth looking into? It may not be easy to find someone with much experience, but provided they are safe around your horse they might be some help with things you find difficult, and would be greatful for the experience?

 

[soulfull]

Lyn

Thanks. Your so right. People don't see the endless sleepless nights in agony. All just to go to a show

Could you find a horseless, enthusiastic teenager/student to help you at shows? As a horseless student with very little money, I have done things like this over the past couple of years in order to be around horses. I enjoy going to shows as "groom" as well. It was also a good way for me to build horsey contacts, so if there was ever someone who needed a rider, it meant I could sometimes pick up a ride, but I did not expect riding in exchange for my time.

I know this isn't always possible, especially if your horse isn't the easiest to handle, but it might be worth looking into? It may not be easy to find someone with much experience, but provided they are safe around your horse they might be some help with things you find difficult, and would be greatful for the experience?

It would be nice. But I would feel obliged to either pay or let them ride. My mare is a darling so gentle. But she is perfect for me and I don't want other people riding her
I only ever hear of teenagers who want to ride or money

 

[maximoo]

Thanks LynH like you say people don't understand they see you as normal unless they know you, lucky I have a few friends who do and understand my situation I know it's hard but if I didn't have my horses I wouldn't know what to do.

 

[finngle]

Lyn - Aah i see, yes rather big. However if you can manage even a small ride on a more difficult horse perhaps an easier mount would allow you to go for longer? I may be talking rubbish here but I know I exert more energy trying to control my nutter than I do on my bosses school mistress...
My mum has quite bad Fibromyalgia so I see how doing too much affects her but I do think if she had a more positive outlook it would at least help her feel more happy in herself; instead she gets down because she used to ride with me and be able to do so much more, it's really awful to watch

 

[LynH]

Lyn - Aah i see, yes rather big. However if you can manage even a small ride on a more difficult horse perhaps an easier mount would allow you to go for longer? I may be talking rubbish here but I know I exert more energy trying to control my nutter than I do on my bosses school mistress...
My mum has quite bad Fibromyalgia so I see how doing too much affects her but I do think if she had a more positive outlook it would at least help her feel more happy in herself; instead she gets down because she used to ride with me and be able to do so much more, it's really awful to watch

You're correct I can definitely ride for longer on an easier horse which is part of the reason I started riding my retired TB again but it's completely unpredictable and some days I can do more than others and there's no logical reason.

As for your mum feeling better if she has a positive outlook, I honestly don't think that it will help her pain levels or how well she feels at all. If you are telling her this to her face it may actually have the opposite effect making her feel isolated and that you don't understand what she is dealing with. Pain is a physical thing that cannot be made better by positive thinking, in my case my nerves are physically damaged and a cheery disposition won't change that. The only people who feel better if I have a positive outlook are my friends and family. Of course they want to think I'll get better and rather than say 'sorry your life is a pile of s***' and 'it's so unfair you are in agony all the time', they say things like 'you'll feel better if you try and get out for a ride' or 'a bit of fresh air will make you feel so much better'. It doesn't and it most likely will cause more pain and exhaustion. I ended up needing heart surgery because I pushed myself too far when I had pneumonia which put too much strain on my heart. I am a naturally optimistic and probably annoyingly cheerful but that's just me and how I was before I got ill. It doesn't help my illness, it just helps me not get depressed by it all. That's not to say I don't feel sad or get frustrated and upset, as I do, a lot. I hate watching others compete and do things I cannot do and some days I feel that it's so unfair that I can't do what I want and I'm in agony all the time and I have a good moan about it to those I trust. On other days I feel that it's so unfair that I can't do what I want and I'm in agony all the time but I suck it up and pretend to the world that I'm ok.

As someone said earlier in this thread, your mum is probably grieving for the life she has lost because of the fibromyalgia and the life she wants to have. She needs to move forward when she is ready and in the meantime needs your support with how she wants to deal with it. A positive outlook will not help the fibromyalgia but your sympathy and understanding may help her not to get depressed as she deals with the reality of her situation. There is a lot of advice and support for those living with someone with a long term illness. It ruins their life too not just the person who is ill. Reading how people feel about having fibromyalgia may help you understand what your mum is dealing with and how it's affecting your life too.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

I will probably be crucified for this opinion, but lets put this into some sort pf perspective. OP you have my heartfelt sympathy and I don't under estimate at all how difficult day to day life must be with your condition. I have several friends with this condition, one has decided for the last four years since diagnosis, that she will be a victim to the illness and consequently is on high doses of antidepressants and pain killers, nothing can coax her to smile or make even the tiniest effort to find some degree of acceptance and adapt her mindset and life to cope as well as she can to the limitations she now has. She is unashamedly full of self pity and at the same time doesn't have one ounce of empathy for others with life threatening illness, her attitude is self, self, self. Sorry if that sounds harsh and cruel but it is fact. I truly believe she doesn't actually want to be helped, there is far too much to be gained psychologically by being an almost totally wheelchair bound object of pity and soothing platitudes.

On the other hand I have a friend who has been diagnosed for nearly ten years and she will NOT let this destroy her happiness and life style. To adapt from someone who produced and bred young horses, she has since trained as a dog groomer and now runs her own business and rides her horses for many hours every weekend. Believe me, her pain is on the same level as my other friend, I have seen her wince and fight the tears at the end of a hard day at work. But she has chosen to shape her life around her illness, she has mentally let go of what she can't do and replaced it with what she can do. She does also have hospital treatment and regular pain killing injections that she doesn't even know if they help her, but she daren't risk not having them.

I really believe that attitude is everything with illness, even with terminal illness it is possible to fight the prognosis and fight the big fight, and if you can't win, you can at least keep the grim reaper at bay for a little longer, and improve the quality of life you have left for yourself and your family and friends around you. In case anyone wonders how dare I, yes, I am speaking with personal experience here and I am doing the very best I can to keep living some sort of life despite a very dire prognosis for my future. OP you have a future, do your very utmost to cherish it and embrace it, it is denied to many of us. don't count what you can't do, count what you can do. I really hope I haven't caused offense with my take on it all, but I do feel it needs to be said, and possibly better coming from someone like myself who also has serious health issues to deal with.

Perhaps this link might be worth reading? http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/copingwithfmscfs/a/copingskills.htm

 

[TarrSteps]

Um, the OP doesn't have chronic fatigue syndrome, or fybromyalgia for that matter . . . . .


All that said, I do think these things are very personal and there is no "one size fits all" approach, nor should people be made to feel bad or weak or unworthy if they choose one path, or delusional if they choose another.

I watched someone I loved fight the good fight to the bitter and inevitable end. I watched someone equally close to me get to the point where she felt her quality of life was no longer sustainable and simply "give up" (my, how I hate that phrase!). Frankly, the second was easier on all of us! It didn't change the end result - nothing was going to do that - but a couple of months of agony didn't seem such a great trade when it came down to it.

That said, someone I know currently has greeted a terminal diagnosis by effectively becoming a guinea pig and withstanding spectacular pain and sickness on the very slim chance she might improve, which has, amazingly happened. This was her choice, just as my two relatives chose differently. C'est la vie. (Okay, joke intended.)

I can't think living with chronic pain is any different. Everyone is different, everyone's circumstances are different. It's impossible to say "because you have the same disease you will feel the same way" because it simply is not that simple.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Um, the OP doesn't have chronic fatigue syndrome, or fybromyalgia for that matter . . . . .

I am aware of that Tarrsteps, my point was that the all the debilitation that the OP mentions is part of these syndromes also, and can cause all the problems she mentions. What the label for any specific disability is, is of no importance
and that attitude is everything no matter what the cause of the actual symptoms? I supplied the link in the hope that she might see something in that which can enable her to rethink her attitude to her physical problems and illness.

 

[TarrSteps]

I am aware of that Tarrsteps, my point was that the all the debilitation that the OP mentions is part of these syndromes also, and can cause all the problems she mentions. What the label for any specific disability is, is of no importance
and that attitude is everything no matter what the cause of the actual symptoms? I supplied the link in the hope that she might see something in that which can enable her to rethink her attitude to her physical problems and illness.

I actually don't disagree with you - I am a huge fan of "management" both for people and for horses and I do believe there is almost always a way to improve the situation, even if it is to accept that some activities are simply off limits, at least for the time being, because they make the situation worse not better. And definitely, enjoying what you can do/do have is part of not letting the other **** overwhelm you.

But if you have, say, arthritic changes in your hands that make it impossible to perform basic tasks, then no amount of positive thinking is going to take those changes away. Absolutely, you may be able to optimise the situation by taking medication, doing particular exercises, limiting certain activities etc but none of that will stop the actual physical deterioration. This is not pessimism, it's pragmatism. And yes, this strikes a chord with me, too, as I have recently watched someone lose his greatest passion, the ability to play the piano, to a debilitating condition. No amount of positive thinking can now change the fact that he can no longer move his fingers the right way. As one of the posters said, this is a loss to be grieved before it can be accepted (something else people do differently) and there is nothing wrong or even unusual in that. The thing with grief, too, is that it never hurts less, it just hurts less often. And so you grieve and then you, hopefully, find other things that will fill those gaps and also bring joy into your life. It's a process.

I do have the advantage of knowing the OP and, in fact, she does a lot and has currently embarked on a large project that would, frankly, make me want to hide under a table and cry. I do think the original post was of a much more practical bent than the conversation has taken (admittedly mostly because of my input! ) and was simply asking if people with chronic disabling conditions have discovered any specific methods of dealing with their riding and horse keeping that the OP has not previously thought of. What have people changed or done differently in order to be able to keep riding at the level they want to ride at.

I feel for you, MrsJ. It sounds like you are in a rough place and making what you can of it. Hopefully you have been able to find coping mechanisms to keep up with your riding/horsey involvement at a level that brings you some satisfaction and happiness.

 

[finngle]

Lyn - No of course I dont say it to her and I do understand your points which are my reasoning for keeping my opinions to myself. I am aware she is greiving however 3 years after her worst turn she seems to be just living in limbo, I agree with above post about fighting etc. and you can tell the fighters have a more positive outlook. I never meant to sound harsh, my mum has plenty of support from friends and family and many things that could make her happy however she is convinced she is no use to anyone and no amount of help, painkillers or kind words can make her feel better - she would rather struggle through by herself than ask for help.
I am glad riding your TB is easier - at least thats a bit of hope that if you managed to find an easier ride in the summer that online dressage test could be an option for you
TarrSteos - I know OP doesnt have Fibro but it was mentioned earlier and is another classic "you look fine you musnt be ill" disease.

 

[LynH]

MrsJingle - I don't have Fibro or chronic fatigue. I do agree that positivity can help prevent depression and can help how someone deals with their situation, it doesn't make the pain any less as I'm sure your friend would agree with. I am more like your second friend, I do as much as I can, often too much. The point I was trying to make was that telling someone that they should have a positive attitude won't necessarily help. Your examples clearly show how different people's attitude can affect how they and others feel about their illness but this is their choice or driven by their normal disposition.

I haven't let my illness destroy my life hence this post looking for ideas to help me achieve what I want to achieve or for alternative ideas. My doctors expect me to be lying in bed most of the time, particularly bearing in mind the huge doses of opioids I take but I'm not. I get up to do the horses every day, when I can, I try to walk the dog even if I don't get very far, I make plans with my friends I often have to cancel but I keep trying. It doesn't change the fact that underneath the exterior I am in agony and I'm never going to be happy about that. If I was having a'bad patch' it's not helped by others saying I should be more positive.

I know Im very fortunate in many ways as I think I said earlier in the thread but if others have found ways to carry on competing and enjoying their horses whilst living with a serious long term illness then I'd like to hear about it so I can try to do the same. I can't continue my career, I can't have kids but I can keep my horses and I can try to enjoy them as much as possible. I'm lucky that all my energy can be focused on the horses. I don't know what my future holds, the prognosis earlier on wasn't very optimistic at all, but I really do want to make the most of it. On Sunday I am having several very painful nerve blocks between my ribs in a bid to try and ease the pain, and in the last year I've reduced my Fentanyl dose from 137mcg to 62mcg even though the pain has increased but I want to be more alert, more with it and no longer sleeping for 16hrs a day. I'm not at all offended by what you said but focusing on what/how little I can do would probably be more depressing than focusing on what I want to try and do and how to make even a small amount of that happen.

I don't know your situation and what you are dealing with so I hope you don't think I'm being ungrateful for my future if yours is limited. I'd hope people who know me see me as making the most of my situation and that I'm as optimistic, as cheery as possible and certainly not resigned to being controlled by my illness. I will definitely read the link you posted as I'm open to anything that may help.

 

[TarrSteps]

The OP is pretty cheery, btw. Even listening to other people moan doesn't get her down.

Anyway, in a effort to actually be helpful, have you seen this: http://www.chronofhorse.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?102-Equestrians-with-Disabilities

 

[Dunlin]

I don't think OP would be posting on here looking for advice, tips and feedback from others with chronic illnesses affecting their life if they were not positive. That shows a pro-active attitude to making the best of a bad situation and despite me not knowing OP the lady comes across as brave and positive.

I do understand your post Mrs Jingle and I'm sorry you have a grim outlook on your own health, a positive attitude is essential but no 2 illnesses are the same and thus you cannot compare illness and symptoms but I agree you can compare attitudes. 1 person may continue to work with the flu and another may unfortunately die from the flu.

Pacing is essential with any chronic illness, you need to experiment and find your own personal level of activity without pushing yourself and becoming even more ill. If you find mentally that you are shocked when you discover how little you can physically do then some form of counselling I feel is essential to come to terms with your "new life".

Like I said, I do get your post Mrs Jingle, I am on an M.E/CFS forum and some posts are so depressive, selfish and pitiful you want to give the poster a slap but I think from time to time we all get like that be us healthy or not, who hasn't cried over a pet PTS? It's not pity or selfish it's emotion but doing it all the time is really not helpful to that person or anyone around them.

Either way, I commend the OP on here for her strength and I hope that you find a way to manage your health and your horses and all the best to you too Mrs Jingle.

 

[debsflo]

i can only go by my own experience of being diagnosed with seronegative arthritis about 10 years ago which severley affected my mobility and pain. i struggled to get on and off so had a mounting block made and would have someone catch and prepare the horse. i also used to try and progress by building up the strides of trot i could cope with ,initially only one or two. I think acceptance is the key and start from now rather than looking back and comparing what you cant do. easier said than done i know. Accept its likekly that you will have good and bad days and try not to ovrerdo on the good days as you will then have to recover. Winter sounds the worst time but come spring those online dressage tests sound possible...

 

[LynH]

The link Tarrsteps posted has some really positive and helpful threads.

Things like having a mounting block made, pacing and building yourself up and hints about making winter easier for those of us in pain are really valuable. Recently someone suggested I had a hot shower immediately before going out to ride when it's very cold outdoors. I have noticed I can do more if I'm warm before I go out into the cold so I've been turning the heating up, wearing more layers and taking more pain killers before I ride rather than my usual habit of afterwards. On Thursday I managed 20mins on Breagh and even cantered a 20m circle on each rein. I did sleep for 3hrs immediately before riding and I didn't manage to do much afterwards, in fact riding was pretty much the only thing I did that day but it was worth it as it did give me a nice boost.

Today I watched my friend jump Breagh which B seemed to enjoy and I enjoyed it considerably more than watching her on the flat. So maybe taking the two of them out jumping rather than to dressage would be the way to go.

Soulful - were you well enough to get your horse ready for the show tomorrow? I'm in hospital from tomorrow morning so if I'm not able to post please can you let us know if you were well enough to go and how you get on.
Good luck and I hope you have lots of fun to make any payoff worth it.

 

[ajn1610]

I have no experience with this sort of condition but just wanted to say that I'm tipping my virtual hat to you for your continued determination and great attitude and that I hope you find some way to resolve your current situation.
From reading the posts it seems like you're desperate to get back to competition but it's hit and miss when and how much or effectively you can ride. The horses you currently have are perhaps not the most suitable physically but they have adapted to their lifestyle well and your long term relationship with them means your trust them and feel safe which may not be the case if your purchased something else.
As I said I have no idea about your condition but going of my experience of working with unfit horses coming back into work. Would it be possible to have someone really good locally ride when you can't to keep the horse going and put that work in place so hopefully you can get more out of the horse when you can ride as they are already fit and established? Also is there a form of exercise you can comfortably do to keep you own fitness up in between as that should make things a bit easier too? Something rehabilitative like gentle pilates or non weight bearing like aqua aerobics? Sorry if that's useless and good luck