Fiona
Well-Known Member
TBH I'd expect a mum of all people to understand that people appreciate quiet time!
Very true
Fiona
TBH I'd expect a mum of all people to understand that people appreciate quiet time!
Very true
Fiona
I too would favour the blunt-but-honest approach to the mother; reiterating that the daughter has done nothing wrong, and is polite and pleasant, it's just that you're tired after a full day's work and commute, and don't have the energy for company.
I enjoy my own company, but have come to realise that a lot of people find this an alien concept, and really need it spelt out to them.
Thank you all for the feedback, i really appreciate it.
I genuinely want to be nice to the girl and remain friendly with her mum but equally i don't want to take responsibility for her or encourage her more to hang out with me. I know I could take time getting her to help with the mucking out and grooming or even letting her ride but put simply I like doing these things for my horse. As others have said she has a family horse she could do things for albeit he is too young and flighty for her to do much handling and riding but I'm not sure I'd be happy with her doing these things for me either. I think mostly she's lonely as she lives in a fairly rural area with no school friends nearby.
I don't want to bring the YO into this as I'm sure the policy is no unsupervised U16s but this would cause fall out and undermine the friendship I have.
I think for the next few days I will wear headphones and see how we get on! I suspect she will just follow me around anyway. If that doesn't work next week I'll speak to her mum.
I know come the middle of winter when it's freezing and raining horizontally and I've not seen anyone for 3 weeks I will be thinking "wouldn't it be nice to have someone to chat to"... Oh the joys of being a contrary, miserable, mildly eccentric woman!
I would talk to her find out what's she's about. She's old enough to be a help and I'm sure if you took her out to the field filling water buckets and poo picking or get her to take the full wheelbarrow to the muck heap, you might find her presence rather less pressing and of use (there's nothing worse than someone wanting to talk/watch) when you're busy trying to get things done. If she doesn't like doing these jobs she'll likely stop hanging about, and if she does you can rave on to her mum about getting her her own pony or else hinting that she should be more involved with their family horse (because she's so keen!). If you make it clear from the offset that no free rides are available on your horse (just make up some excuse if you have to about why not), then she may back off a bit too. I definitely wouldn't say anything to her mum about not wanting her around all the time. The thing is at her age it could all change soon anyway (new friend to hang out with, new interest, anything).
They say the way to get rid of a child is to give it your full attention. I would boor her to death and give her some poo picking to do.
I would talk to her find out what's she's about. She's old enough to be a help and I'm sure if you took her out to the field filling water buckets and poo picking or get her to take the full wheelbarrow to the muck heap, you might find her presence rather less pressing and of use (there's nothing worse than someone wanting to talk/watch) when you're busy trying to get things done. If she doesn't like doing these jobs she'll likely stop hanging about, and if she does you can rave on to her mum about getting her her own pony or else hinting that she should be more involved with their family horse (because she's so keen!). If you make it clear from the offset that no free rides are available on your horse (just make up some excuse if you have to about why not), then she may back off a bit too. I definitely wouldn't say anything to her mum about not wanting her around all the time. The thing is at her age it could all change soon anyway (new friend to hang out with, new interest, anything).
How’s it going now?
another way to tackle it is the insurance issue. just tell her mum you cant ever let her ride because your insurance wont cover children riding your horse ( or anyone else for that matter if no one else rides it). Does away with any conflict type stuff and is generally accepted. So if she becomes a pest later in the year you might want to try this approach. And BTW thanks for the update .
another way to tackle it is the insurance issue. just tell her mum you cant ever let her ride because your insurance wont cover children riding your horse ( or anyone else for that matter if no one else rides it). Does away with any conflict type stuff and is generally accepted. So if she becomes a pest later in the year you might want to try this approach. And BTW thanks for the update .
That would work if I didn't let other people ride my horse but I do! I let one of the other liveries ride him the other week when she was there. She also knows my young children ride him so I think that's why she is interested. She has asked me directly before and I said no which her mum agreed with.
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