Im so ashamed of myself

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traceyann

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Iv had a few problems with my new horse handling issue he bolts out of the field well he did this again but i kept hold of him then he reared and aimed at my head so i whacked him really hard with the leading rope and then really smacked him i dont know if i done though fear or temper but he been badly beaten in the past and iv just proved to him im no better than the others he knows flinches when i go near him and is wary i feel so bad i was trying to defend myself but the little bit of trust i have gained is all lost i could kick myself i just feel so bad
 
I wouldn't be too hard on yourself.

A half ton horse coming down on your head needs immediate quick response and its likely to be reactive rather than thought through. A horse has to know that behaviour is not acceptable. next time you lead him you can prepare for what might happen and deal with it in a calmer manner. Try using a dually halter if he is very unruly.

Just make it up to him in the stable with a nice groom and some bonding games.
 
That si such a shame i dont condone hitting a horse but if a horse is rearing up at you and aiming at your head survival instinct will take over and that is why you will hvae hit out and i think many more would do the same in that situation. it is just a shame about him having been beaten, the only thing i can think to say really apart from not to kick yourself it was natural reaction is that it will take time for him to start to re trust you but it will happen horses are amazingly forgiving animals. Could you try to get someone in with experience of mistreated horses to try and help you with some of the issues (bolting) as these need to be 'nipped in the bud' if you are both going to relax and trust each other.
Well done for taking on a previously abused horse! and Good Luck!!
 
It's done. Hopefully he's learnt that you mean what you say, provided you are as sweet as normal with him and firm when he needs it the trust will soon come back, along with hopefully better manners.

Ignore the flinching, other than to speak calmly and cheerfully to him, get it into your head that you have now established yourself as herd leader and that he will now respect you more.
 
At least you admit it and know that what you did was wrong. You now need to let go of this and work on regaining his trust. Just remember that horses are very forgiving creatures!

Move on and do lots of ground work with him, to help you to establish basics. This will help you to gain control of his feet and help towards reducing the threatening behaviour.

Good luck and keep looking forwards :)
 
Your brave posting that on this forum :)

I'm sure he will be fine, just spend some time with him, I think if a horse had done that to me, my reaction would be the same ... good luck :)
 
It was just a reflex action, so don't be too hard on yourself. If you look at herd dynamics you will see that often lower ranked horses flinch when approached by higher ranked horses. I am not a fan of join up, especially where there is already a good and trusted bond as I think it is confusing for the horse. But in this case, where it is a new horse and therefore a new relationship (and one that is on unsteady footing), then it would be a very useful exercise. I believe it should only be done once however, unless a horse is being very unruly, and then it can be repeated.
 
At least you are still here.

May be worth wearing your hat when leading him for a little protection/reassurance. Agree that it may not have hurt him to know you can't be bullied, otherwise he could have become a dnager to himself as well as you. If you work quietly with him rebuilding relationship why should he not trust you again? If he is handled gently but with confidence his flinching should go, it's just learning that your touch is nice. If he was that terrified of you do you think he would even allow you to touch him? There must be some level of willingness to interact with you there. Try doing it in small bits, & when he stands quietly with no twitch stop for about 5 secs, then start again. Dually are exellent ways to communicate with him what he needs to do, I have one & love it.
 
Anothe thing you could try is a calmer. He sounds just like my new gelding was when I first got him. He was jumping out of his skin at everything and would shoot back when being led or suddenly rear up right on top of me. I put him on Top Spec calmer (just a half dose as he wouldn't eat the full dose). It completely cured him and the effect was almost instant.
 
pip6 said:
At least you are still here.

May be worth wearing your hat when leading him for a little protection/reassurance. Agree that it may not have hurt him to know you can't be bullied, otherwise he could have become a dnager to himself as well as you. If you work quietly with him rebuilding relationship why should he not trust you again? If he is handled gently but with confidence his flinching should go, it's just learning that your touch is nice. If he was that terrified of you do you think he would even allow you to touch him? There must be some level of willingness to interact with you there. Try doing it in small bits, & when he stands quietly with no twitch stop for about 5 secs, then start again. Dually are exellent ways to communicate with him what he needs to do, I have one & love it.
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< totaly agree with this
 
A lot of people smack their horses, and for a damn good reason too.
Bad past or not, that's a big animal that has all the capabilities of causing a fatal to injury.

Get some professional help.
 
As already said, it's done, don't beat yourself up, you reacted to survive.

He will learn to trust you but he also has to learn to respect you. Definitely get someone calm and confident to help you, even if just for moral support. Be calm and positive yourself, and set out clear boundaries for him. Yes he's been abused but that doesn't mean he can injure you.

Good luck and don't be afraid to ask for help!!
 
You made a mistake - we all do. At least you are honest enough to admit it. I took on a rescue, my mistake was to trust someone else, who then hit her. A lot of work was lost in an instant. So with a horse that now didn't trust any human action or word I was stuck. So I tried clicker training. I am not particularly good at that sort of thing, but the distraction of doing something new was good for both of us.

And when she was going through her particularly leaping about phase I used to take her in and out on a lunge line. Then she had plenty of room to go up without risk of coming down on my head. It also meant we both learnt that there wasn't going to be a tug of war which made me calmer, so she was calmer too.

Law of unintended consequences - first I accidentally taught her to walk too fast as I was anxious to get to the field gate. So then in training her to walk slowly I acidentally taught her that really really really slow walking was good - so she started doing one step, stop, another step stop. Mind you this is useful when we are leading out with another horse who is really slow.

Now we have it about right, and her default is to 'park' rather than rear.

Good luck, big hugs and stay safe
 
Poor you. Honestly, don't beat yourself up over it. Mistakes happen and at least you and him are both safe. [Hug]

If he's behaving dangerously leading in hand I'd really recommend getting a Stephen's Controller (http://www.worldwidetack.com/acatalog/Weaver-Leather-Controller-Headcollar.html) or a Mikmar one (http://www.kmeliteproducts.co.uk/pro...p?prod=acc0021). Expensive, but so worth it for your safety and for that of your horse. Someone on here said they bought a Mikmar one from the eBay America site for under £50 including shipping to the UK.

I've a big strong young sports' horse who's extremely sharp and highly strung by nature and I wouldn't be without one of the above to lead with. A quick sharp reminder from one of these and your horse WILL respect your space and stay on the ground. 99% of the time mine walks quietly to and from the field on a long rein wearing his Stephens but on those 1% of occasions it's definitely saved both of us from serious injury (as I have to lead to and from the field on a road so cannot afford for mine to get loose under ANY circumstances nor for me to get reared on or struck).

Recenly the yard have been turning mine out and getting-in in just his ordinary headcollar (they refuse to use 'gadgets') and they've obviously resorted to punching him in the face on more than one occasion. On Sunday I brought in myself for the first time in a month and couldn't get near his head whilst leading him along the road; everytime I moved my right arm towards him (even in the slightest unintentional way, as we were walking along) he'd rolled his eye and threw himself backwards, swinging right away from me into the road. I was fuming. It made leading him safely impossible as his reaction was just SO dramatic. This horse has never been struck in the face or neck - and whilst I understand the yard must experience trouble leading him in just a headcollar - I don't expect them to resort to smacking him in the head area to control him. It's not working and is just making my horse more unpredictable and dangerous. If they'd simply used the Stephen's like I've asked them to, there wouldn't be any problems to deal with now. :mad::mad:

Anyway, point is, using the controller headcollar makes my unpredictable horse lead like a lamb 99% of the time and protects both of use when the unexpected happens. I'd really recommend getting one and then working in-hand with yours to establish manners and boundaries in a safe way. I lead all my horses in mine, just to always be on the safe side.
 
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MrsMozart said:
You made a mistake.

Get past it.

Get a professional to help you and build up the trust again.
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I echo this. Don't spend effort feeling guilty take it as a signal to learn some new stuff. You need help to get control of the situation in the short term and then you can both relax and learn. Good luck, do wear a hat and use a long lead rope as well. :)
 
you can make it up to him, don't worry about it. he'll have a bit more respect for you, which is a good thing, and you can fuss him until he realises it was a one-off, caused by his behaviour, not your temper...
he was REALLY NAUGHTY to have done what he did, and you reacted instinctively to protect yourself and put him back in his place. I'd have done the same, and not felt bad about it... sorry, but when my horses are lovely i'm lovely, but if they are rude and dangerous, i am allowed to be rude back until they behave themselves. 1/2 tonne of horse having a laugh with you is not nice.
you'd be feeling a LOT worse if his hoof had connected with your head. or, you wouldn't be feeling anything at all...
please, don't try to lead him in a normal headcollar, get someone to show you how to use a controller halter, or even bridle him to lead him around until he remembers his manners...
when you need to lead him anywhere, wear a hat and gloves, always.
have a treat to distract him and give it to him when he's good and nice to handle.
good luck, and no more beating yourself up, okay?
 
If it's any consolation OP, when the Dizz is lovely I'm lovely as she is lovely and all the world is lovely.

When the Dizz is rude/bargy/argumentative - she gets put back in her place in very short order.

As others have said, half a tonne of horse being an ar£e is not good. Think along the lines of another horse in that situation would have defended itself, just as you needed to.
 
Yes - and I expect you flinch too when he looks like he is going to play you up again??

Personally, I think he deserved it - he did try to hurt you!

Spend a bit of 1 on 1 time with him grooming and scratching and he will soon learn that you don't hit all the time. But DO NOT go soft on him due to guilt and let him get away with murder!

Good luck.
 
BBH said:
I wouldn't be too hard on yourself.

A half ton horse coming down on your head needs immediate quick response and its likely to be reactive rather than thought through. A horse has to know that behaviour is not acceptable. next time you lead him you can prepare for what might happen and deal with it in a calmer manner. Try using a dually halter if he is very unruly.

Just make it up to him in the stable with a nice groom and some bonding games.
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Agree with this ^^
 
I'm not sure I'd resort to the Stephens headcollar straight away, it looks a bit like cracking a nut with a sledgehammer. But I do agree with Spyda's view that a controller halter is infinitely better for unruly (or even distractable) horses. I use a parelli halter with at least a 10 ft rope on everything I lead and that may be worth exploring. The rope is looped in my hand unless there are shenanigans where it is let out and I can be out of range.
 
He needs to learn that bad behaviour from him = discipline, but that discipline ONLY comes when he's naughty. In the past he experienced the discipline at random, never knowing when it would come or why. Now you need to educate him that there are consequences (however you decide to give them), but ONLY when he's naughty, and that you will NEVER be cross with him unless he has done something wrong.

Horses discipline each other physically, yet always with warning first. What is so scary to a horse, is when it comes without warning, so they have no time to choose to do the right thing and avoid the discipline. Horses also make a lot of fuss about telling each other off, a big show of crossness after the initial warning, yet very little harm done. Only if that warning brings no good behaviour is damage done.

Basically, never telling him off will lead to dangerous behaviour. You need to spend time in the school doing groundwork so he learns about human warning signals and what is/is not acceptable. I usually warn first with 'no', then with big body movements (lots of fuss, arms thrown around, turn towards and stamp feet, that kind of thing, and only then with a light smack. If my horses misbehave to the point where they get the smack, they usually go 'oh, ok then' and get on with it. If I don't make a big enough point of the warning, they look shocked and are wary afterwards for a few minutes (there's always one day in 100 where someone's in someone else's medicated dinner and I have to get them out fast!).

If you can't get proper help (best course of action - a few ££ spent now will be so worth it), I would do groundwork in the school with basic signals, like him walking with you, you stopping and expecting him to wait with you. If he goes to move off, say 'no', then sudden movement in front of him and facing him with repeated 'no', then and only then pressure on the leadrope. To start with he will think you will hit him again for 'no reason' (you didn't give warning signals he recognised so that's what he will think you did), but in time with lots of practice he'll learn what your warning signals are, and you will be able to discipline without problems.
 
Why do you feel bad....yes he`s been beaten in the past but he was out of order and not showing you respect...now he knows not to throw his weight around!!
I`ve got a 2 yo Welsh x TB who was showing the typical welshie bolshyness and was basically an arrogant pig. If he couldnt do what he wanted he`d rear, I`m not talking harmless things, full on legs flailing ears back teeth bared, if I tried to correct him he would just go up again :rolleyes: Got annoyed bought a dually and it`s like having a totally different animal, he respects me, walks nicely, hasn`t once barged me since and the best bit, he looks happy :)
Use a longer rope for leading, i hate using standard lead ropes, if the a horse takes flight your pretty much screwed, with a lunge line if a horse rears you can get out of the way whilst still having control.
 
A set of metal shoes being plonked down on your head with the weight of your horse behind it, would have been no laughing matter.
You took immediate action, and he (hopefully) now knows that his behaviour was not tolerable.
I think Spyda is spot on with the mikmar. You need something thats going to put YOU in control without having to resort to hitting him. Makes life easier all round (and gives you a little bit f added confidence too).
 
jemima_too said:
It's done. Hopefully he's learnt that you mean what you say, provided you are as sweet as normal with him and firm when he needs it the trust will soon come back, along with hopefully better manners.

Ignore the flinching, other than to speak calmly and cheerfully to him, get it into your head that you have now established yourself as herd leader and that he will now respect you more.
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^^ exactly this ^^
 
I don't think he is being naughty or 'should know better' myself. This behaviour is dangerous though so has to be addressed. Imo it's all down to him and you learning how to teach him what is expected. In this case to lead callmly, quietly, walk when you walk, stop when you stop etc. Just dealing with this sort of behaviour as and when it crops up isn't imo going to change anything and especially not your relationship imo. The way to show him you care is by learning more about the importance of very basic training and how horses learn imo. I learnt this lesson a few years ago when I had a horse I didn't know how to deal with and it has stood me in good stead.
Do invest in a good trainer for you primarily, such as one of Kelly Mark's Recommended Associates they will help you sort out how to train acceptable behaviour which will be helpful with all horses as well as your confidence. :)
http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/content/view/47/116/
 
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intill you decide what to do, try leading him in and out in a bridle with something under the curb area, like a lead rope or stallion chain, so you can hold him and control his actions without picking a fight, and if he tries to bolt through gate let him meet the curb and learn under his own volition that its not so good, ask him to stop whilst opening the gate when he does make a fuss of him use your voice, he needs to know this is not acceptable and its better to be praised for being good, always wear a hat with this horse and gloves
 
As everyone's said - don't beat yourself up about it. It's not like you are beating him into submission every day (I assume! Lol), you reacted in a situation (mush like another horse would to be honest if they got pushed about by a bolshy horse). Forget about it, move on but think about how to deal with it next time.

All he will have learnt from this is that acting like he did resulted in a not pleasant experience. They are not daft and reinforcing good behaviour and acting in a firm but calm way around him will help establish to him that you are the boss but you are asking for his respect and not forcing it.

At the end of the day though he is a large and potentially dangerous animal and you have to think of your own safety. What are you leading him with? maybe try a chain headcollar (Eskadron) or put a stallion chain on his current one - this may give you more control and maybe get a longer rope so that if/when he does rear and prat about you can stand well clear, let him get on with it and then, once he's back on the ground, continue as if nothing's happened. I think in some ways, ignoring behaviour like this can work but each horse is different. Mine, after having him 16 years can still decide to tank off when he's being lead - it's not funny and he know's damn well it's not acceptable but unless you're on your guard all the time he can be a swine - I know though now if he's that way out on a given day as I know him so well i can just see the look in his eye so more often than not I can stop him s*dding off. I swear he does it to embarrass me and just to make his point that he is stronger than me and he knows it!!! Lol
 
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