Is anyone awake? I need some help with barking.

Kat_Bath

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We are away at OH's parents for Christmas and Harvey is with us. Normally, he sleeps on the landing outside our room in our 2 up/2 down house. For the last 2 nights he's been in the porch-type room as you come in the front door, furthest away from the stairs (which he's not allowed up and we respect that) and far away from people and this is a big house.

Last night, he woke us up at 4am with his barking. We didn't know what to do so after attempting to put him back to bed (unsuccessful), OH slept in the lounge with him. For other reasons (think ridiculous family drama), we didn't get to bed until about 1am so we're a bit frazzled.

So far tonight, he has barked from 10.40 to 11pm and he started again at 11.15. As I'm typing, he seems to have quietened again. I am awake as I feel so bad. Do I just let him bark it out each time? OH's parents claim not to mind if he barks all night but that's another issue for another time. I'm also worried he will continually wake Gran as he's below her room. It is likely that we will decamp to her brother's tomorrow (where all 3 of us are much more comfortable and he is loved by all instead of being shoo-ed away by 3 out of 5 people in this house).

We have only ever heard him bark twice and they were very stressful situations for him. He has always been only a door away from humans at night (but now he's 5 doors away).

Whatever happens, we have ruined Christmas anyway but I would be greatful for some words of advice if anyone is still awake.
 

Kat_Bath

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We definitely don't need him to get used to it, no.

Perhaps I was a bit hasty in posting as he did go quiet and since then, there's only been a few individual barks. Once I actually sleep though, he may not wake me but that leaves me reluctant to sleep. Arrggghhh.

If he starts again and goes for more than a couple of minutes then I'll go downstairs. I'm trying not to because a) he is smart and learns quickly and I don't want this behaviour to continue at home (unlikely though, I think) and b) the sofa is really, really, really uncomfortable (but that is me being selfish).

OH's parents didn't want one of us to sleep downstairs and think he's needs training but I won't get started on that. Needless to say, we won't be coming here with the dog again.

Oh poo. He has started barking again. My heart breaks. I think I may have to go downstairs. I think it's unlikely that he will sleep/be quiet for longer than 15 minutes. I also think he's probably not asleep between barking times so he will be shattered tomorrow.

Thank you for replying - I feel better knowing that someone else would do what I have wanted to do all along and that that's OK. Thank you :) Also, merry official Christmas day!
 

gallopingby

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Hope you’re ok Kat. I’d sleep with him, if the sofa is uncomfortable can you put he sofa cushions on the floor and sleep on them? Would give you more room to stretch out? He’ll be barking because he feels insecure and at least if you’re in the same room everyone will get some sleep. Merry Christmas, lm hoping the grandchildren won’t be up to soon!
 

dollyanna

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I'd sleep with him without hesitation. If it's out of character then he is very stressed, and all you'll do by sleeping with him is reassure him you are there with him and everything will be ok, even if it is all different for now. It's more likely to cause problems at home if you leave him to bark than it is if you look after him and keep him company now as it might trigger separation anxiety. It's only one night, stick the cushions on the floor or find a spare duvet to sleep on instead of the sofa!!
 

Kat_Bath

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Thank you both :)

I'm downstairs. I needed sleep and it wasn't fair on anyone in the house. He is as close to my head as he can be without being on the sofa, bless him.

This sofa is ridiculous. If I remember, I'll take a picture in the morning and post it - it's the most useless "sofa" in the world. But if it means I sleep and he sleeps and everyone else sleeps, I'm fine with it. If it gets too bad, I'll get in his bed with him!!

Despite only having him nearly 4 months, I know he's not an anxious dog so he must have been very upset. His bed was cold so he hadn't been on it.

I'm really so glad that you've all said go downstairs. I'm a worrier but I had to follow my gut and I'm glad you all thought the same. I cannot thank you enough.

GB, I hope the grandkids allow some decent sleep!

This is how much better Harvey is feeling: he is already snoring! My turn now.

Thank you all, again, very much. I owe you big time.
 

Goldenstar

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I simply refuse to go anywhere where Dram can’t sleep with me he would howl all night.
I would sleep downstairs as well .
I also would not go where their people who did not like Dram .
It’s love me love my dog or bog off .
I hope you get some sleep .
Any way how can any body not like dogs it’s a serious character flaw in my book .
 

Kat_Bath

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Morning folks :)

I got some sleep - yay! I think I eventually closed my eyes properly at about 1.30am. And then I got woken up by a lamp coming on, on a timer, at half 3! Arrghhh!

Harvey is definitely rested which is good too. And we've been out for our morning walk already.

We knew that OH's parents have rules and we knew they're not massively keen on dogs (or any of our life choices for that matter) but we never anticipated Harvey would feel so unsettled as he is so chilled out. We were at OH's brother's briefly the other day and he was a different dog - exactly like he is at home. It's the atmosphere here and the fact that he doesn't get love off of everyone I think.

We won't be doing this again. Ever.

Thanks again for all your help and for listening to my offloads of frustration!
 

MurphysMinder

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I'm glad you and Harvey were able to get some sleep. Although he may seem chilled you haven't had him long and its understandable he was stressed in a strange environment particularly as the atmosphere was less than friendly, dogs pick up on that so quickly. I hope the rest of your Christmas goes okay for you and Harvey.
 

Kat_Bath

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Thank you MM :)

Honestly, I say this all the time, but I am so grateful for HHO. Thank you 😙😙😙
 

Red-1

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I would have gone downstairs too.

Since we got Hekkie we only went away once (for 2 nights) and had a house sitter as he is not a confident dog (we found him half starved roadside). The lovely person who house sat for him ended up sleeping on the sofa both nights as he was really unsettled that we were away. We have not left him since. We either don't go away or we go one at a time!


We really do need a photo of the sofa now though, since one was promised.
 

MotherOfChickens

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glad you both got some rest. doesn't sound like the in laws would be up for it but my dogs each has a soft crate they sleep in for hotel stays/strange house stays so that they can be with us-they don't get to sleep in our room at home though. I would have gone downstairs as well!
 

SusieT

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In fairness, you can't expect everyone to like dogs, and having one to stay when you don't like them is hard and stressful and instead of taking it as a reflection of their feelings for you just know that you will eitehr stay elsewhere next year or leave Harvey with a petsitter. Getting upset because people don't like your dog is a bit ridiculous unless they are in your house etc
 

meleeka

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Getting upset because people don't like your dog is a bit ridiculous unless they are in your house etc

As Goldenstar says above, not liking dogs is a character flaw as far as I’m concerned and I probably wouldn’t have stayed anyway. My mum isn’t very tolerant of all dogs but she likes mine and wouldn’t dream of making her sleep somewhere she’s not happy.
 

Pearlsasinger

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I don't see how *anyone* can not absolutely adore a young brown Labrador! I mean they are absolutely perfect, well apart from the bouncing, chewing of stuff, rubbish-finding, slobbering and all year round hair-shedding;).

We left our Rotters overnight, away from home, with someone whom they knew very well and their own 2 dogs. The only way anyone got any sleep there was to sleep in the same room as the Rotters. We did all think that maybe passing traffic upset them, as they are not used to that.
 

paddy555

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does he like your car? our dogs have always regarded our vehicles as their travelling dog kennels and would sleep quite happily overnight in the car as it is their own territory and their own bed. If he is not car trained could you train him in case it is needed in the future?
 

CorvusCorax

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I'm glad you and Harvey were able to get some sleep. Although he may seem chilled you haven't had him long and its understandable he was stressed in a strange environment particularly as the atmosphere was less than friendly, dogs pick up on that so quickly. I hope the rest of your Christmas goes okay for you and Harvey.

This!

Glad things sound more positive this morning! Not everyone's cup of tea, but mine are used to overnighting in the van too, they are happy/settled there and it's not strange for them and I'm not burdening my hosts with nosy wrecking balls.
On longer stays I do bring collapsible cages.

My mother did ask if I wanted them in last night but after the Tail of Doom laid waste to the living room and every single bag and present was rifled through, she came round to my way of thinking ;)
 

Clodagh

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does he like your car? our dogs have always regarded our vehicles as their travelling dog kennels and would sleep quite happily overnight in the car as it is their own territory and their own bed. If he is not car trained could you train him in case it is needed in the future?

I am too neurotic about theft to leave mine in the car. Not worried about the car, you understand!
 

CorvusCorax

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I suppose both Paddy and I would have a 'good luck with that' attitude to would-be car thieves ;)
Plus I don't generally stay anywhere where I can't park right outside (I can touch the car from the hall window outside my room here. Dog ownership can be a great excuse to be anti-social ;)
 

Clodagh

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I suppose both Paddy and I would have a 'good luck with that' attitude to would-be car thieves ;)
Plus I don't generally stay anywhere where I can't park right outside (I can touch the car from the hall window outside my room here. Dog ownership can be a great excuse to be anti-social ;)

Fair enough, but presumably they would be crated in the car so in fact the thief could take them (and worry about getting them out the crate later!). My labs would not be assertive enough. :)
 

paddy555

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Fair enough, but presumably they would be crated in the car so in fact the thief could take them (and worry about getting them out the crate later!). My labs would not be assertive enough. :)


no loose if using it as an overnight kennel.
Merlyn is a raw fed dog. I'm sure he would cope with an extra supper if someone was stupid enough.
 

CrazyMare

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Glad you got sorted. Our dogs were unsettled this morning. The in laws came over and kept telling the girls off for trying to sit on the sofa. My girls spend their lives draped over the sofa.

Chilled out again once they left. Lucky has spent the afternoon draped over dad's lap.
 

gallopingby

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Sadly leaving dogs overnight in cars is no longer a good idea, although many are settled far too many opportunists around these days. A friend of mine had one of her dogs stolen last year from a locked van outside someone’s house. Kat the grandkids were in bed by 8.00 tonight, the eight year made a brief exploration at 2.30 this morning which didn’t please her mum, all quiet now, and all dogs 😴 one upstairs on my bed, one outside the bathroom door ready to greet any feral night time visitors and the other Hopefully in her bed in the kitchen where she will make herself comfortable before retiring under the kitchen table in the morning.
 

Kat_Bath

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Wow. There's been a lot of replies.

He doesn't mind the car but I don't think I could leave him outside - I wouldn't sleep!

I wish I'd had the balls to just sneak him upstairs but I dread to think what the repercussions would have been!

I definitely don't expect everyone to like him. The slight irony is, they have previously had dogs! Never in a million years did we expect it to be this bad but there are other issues too, the dog is just the tip of the iceberg.

They continue to tell us it is fine that the dog is here and that he is welcome but their attitude, body language and actions say otherwise. It's been a learning curve. I would never intentionally take my dog somewhere where he wasn't wanted.

I'm a bit sad that I think I've been called ridiculous (and on Christmas Day as well - what a lovely end to the day) 😂 I was upset that he was so unsettled, not that they don't like him.

Anyway, about the sofa. I took a picture but it's apparently too big to upload :( Imagine a 3 seater, leather sofa, with 3 individual seats, not one big area so it's not got cushions and it's not flat either. Then picture the back of the sofa basically being at a 90 degree angle to the bit where you sit. That's the sofa. It's not even comfortable to be in the same room as it, let alone sit on it 😂 Just another reason never to visit again (although I feel I should point out, this isn't a rash decision - I've been attempting to get comfortable on this sofa for 7 years but it truly awful)!
 

CorvusCorax

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It is awful when dogs get stolen from vehicles but they also get stolen from houses and gardens and when out on walks according to social media, which is awful, but people still do these things. Every day, numerous people travel with, show or do sports with their dogs and leave them in cars for period, the number of dogs actually being stolen is a tiny percentage of that. Each to their own :)
 

Clodagh

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It is awful when dogs get stolen from vehicles but they also get stolen from houses and gardens and when out on walks according to social media, which is awful, but people still do these things. Every day, numerous people travel with, show or do sports with their dogs and leave them in cars for period, the number of dogs actually being stolen is a tiny percentage of that. Each to their own :)

Not arguing here, discussing :), but I don't even leave a dog in the car while we are out working them. I admit I am totally paranoid about it. It would be, to me, like leaving a toddler in the car. (And do you know, I used to do that if smallest was asleep when I got home from somewhere -but not all night!). Perhaps I am a more diligent dog owner than parent. (Quite likely).

Kat-bath there is always someone to make any discussion personal. Your in-laws sound like doozies!
 
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