Is it me being stupid!?..

caitlineloise

caitlineloise

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 December 2010
Messages
602
Location
Blaby, Leicestershire
Visit site
The previous owners thread made me think about this, even though it's been playing on my mind for a while

I don't think it is me being stupid

My horses previous owner loved him to pieces, and chose me to own her boy, as much as I chose owning him.

She, I think, loved him a tad too much. He was overweight when I saw and got him, but I knew he had potential because of his movement and over all personality. I spent the whole day with him. And went back to see him again.

When he came to me, she cried her heart out, and I knew it was a hard decision for her. (She had to give up him out of kindness because she was told by the doctor she could not ride anymore, she had brittle bones and couldn't even get on and off without support)

We started a losing weight programme for him that has worked brilliantly, everybody on the yard has told his he's half the "pony" he was before he came. He looks brill, but still has a bit to lose.

I sent her photo's of him, all bathed and groomed up thinking she would like it, and she hasn't replied, when normally she does, within hours. And she loves to see photo's of him. It makes me think she thinks I'm a rubbish owner that's starving him. When he's actually looking amazing and more the shape he should!

But I feel awful because she trusted me, and now I feel like she doesn't anymore. But I'm doing the best for him! :(

Ugh it's just playing on my mind, I just want somebody to reassure me.

A grossly overweight horse with no muscle condition is as bad as a thin one with no muscle condition!?

He's been in gradual work, lunging on larger then smaller circles, getting gradually fitter. Ridden work, walk and trot, hacking and schooling, and also a lot of natural horsemanship for bonding and keeping him interested as he's a clever boy.

Any replies would be greatly appreciated, I feel like I've been awful, when I know I have really done the best by him. :(
 
You might be over analysing her not responding. She could just be on holiday or her internet access might have gone down. There are lots of reasons why she might not have replied other than her thinking you've done an awful job with your horse.
 
I did think this first off, but I know she has been online.

Maybe I am over analysing the situation a bit, but it's just made me feel awful. :(

I know I am perhaps being utterly stupid but it's really been playing on my mind.
 
cuppatea said:
maybe she is slightly too emotional to reply
Click to expand...

Do you mean because she is upset about him going? Because I spoke to her on the phone a couple of days before I sent the photo's and she said she'd love to see them.

It's been months I mean, since he came to me.

Never mind, I'll just wait til she decides to get in touch or I will try and ring up. Just don't want to bother her if she's upset with me.
 
I wouldn't worry about her not replying. IMO you sound like you are very much doing the right thing.

You don't need her blessing to look after what is now your horse :)
 
sounds like you have done the best thing for YOUR horse. If she is upset by him looking fit and lean then so be it. He is your horse now, so move on. I am sure it is as others say and there is a good reason for not e-mailing you back.
I am sure there will come a time anyway when you will lose touch. It is probably not a terrible thing. Just enjoy your horse and know that you are doing the right thing for him.
 
this happened to me - i bought my cob from a young girl who loved him to bits and was only selling him because he couldnt take her where she wanted to go.
I really bonded with the seller, paid for him over 3 months while he was at her yard and we all gelled - she was so good to me and my daughter.
Tehn when he was mine it all went wrong, i think she regretted selling him - she sent my daughter a snooty email saying we were starving the horse, she turned up at my yard telling my yo id said she could go - but said her mum was a vet who was going ot report me for being cruel and starving him.
Total rubbish - my yo said because she was accusing me of starving a horse, she was also slandering him - duty of care etc.
My yo informed her he would pay for legal bills to refute this - not only was my reputation at stake but his, he told me he woudl pay any court expenses because he knew my horse was cared for.
My horse was overweight when i got him, we worked hard to get him trim and fit
No you are not being wrong, i still regret me and the original owner couldnt keep friends but when you are accused of cruelty its a tad difficult.
big hugs xxxxxxx
 
caitlineloise said:
Do you mean because she is upset about him going? Because I spoke to her on the phone a couple of days before I sent the photo's and she said she'd love to see them.

It's been months I mean, since he came to me.

Never mind, I'll just wait til she decides to get in touch or I will try and ring up. Just don't want to bother her if she's upset with me.
Click to expand...

no, i mean more like emotional to see the photos of him, its one thing to hear stories about something you miss badly but to see pictures makes it more real. Doubt its because she is upset with you, just upset thatshe cant be with her horse and take those photos herself etc etc
 
Thank you nikkimariet, chestnuttymare and narkymare. I know I'm being a 'tad' silly in the first place :o

Narkymare, I'm glad it's not gone that far! That sounds like a horrible experience. Thank you lots. I really hoped (and still do) that we would keep in touch, but I just don't know anymore. :(

I know he's mine in my heart, I love him, and he loves me, he follows me in from the field without me holding the lead rope sometimes, :) lol (Not ideal, but have only done it a couple of times without anybody else about and in a inclosed area) but because I saw how much she cared for him I hoped I could keep her posted, etc. :(
 
cuppatea said:
no, i mean more like emotional to see the photos of him, its one thing to hear stories about something you miss badly but to see pictures makes it more real. Doubt its because she is upset with you, just upset thatshe cant be with her horse and take those photos herself etc etc
Click to expand...

Thank you:) I do understand how this could be true, but I have sent her lots of pictures before and spoken on her on the phone before hand to see if she was comfortable with it. :)

I'm not trying to blindly disagree with you by the way, I really appreciate your opinion and you replying. It could well be the way she feels. :)
 
caitlineloise said:
Thank you:) I do understand how this could be true, but I have sent her lots of pictures before and spoken on her on the phone before hand to see if she was comfortable with it. :)

I'm not trying to blindly disagree with you by the way, I really appreciate your opinion and you replying. It could well be the way she feels. :)
Click to expand...

no it fine, i know what you mean. I have sold horses before and had the opportunity to go see them or talk to te people who have them now and i cant. I'd rather not know anything than to know they are doing things with other people that I want to do with them! (the horses not the people !!:D) In some cases i have actually found it easier to come to terms with a horse dieing than a horse moving away! Sounds twisted i know but it doesnt leave you wondering and wishing you could go get them back.:o
 
at the end of the day he is your horse now and you are doing right by him the owner might just be having difficulty accepting the fact that he's not her horse any more and your doing things differently might have just been a bit of a shock
 
I read your post and you could be describing my horse, same situation but years ago now. She was a pet and seriously overweight when I bought her verging on Laminitis..worked very hard to fitten her up and get her weight down. Her previous owners didn't like it I think and started feeding her/moving her onto lush grazing etc when I wasn't there..just inexperience and not knowing any better thats all.

It is hard and it isn't nice to think a previous owner doesn't approve but please don't feel bad, he's yours now and at the end of the day you're taking very good care of him, chin up :)
 
If you want to show or do anything else with your pony ,could you invite the previous owner along just to keep her in the loop so to speak. If she says no, well I think you have filled your part of the bargain, so don't worry.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top