Is this common/acceptable YO behaviour?

Not read all the replies but it sounds like you don't trust the YO to go in your field and your YO doesn't trust you to look after your paddock.

Recipe for disaster all round!
 
Just a thought... Why don't you just ask the YO why she goes in? Make it sound like you are concerned for your horse.

I don't know about anyone else but I'm now pretty intrigued...
 
Doormouse said:
Ok, here goes.

I have followed many of your posts, both about your horse and some of your life and you come across as very sensible, nice, down to earth and generally a good egg!

I can see how hard you have tried with your horse but truthfully I'm not sure he is making you happy at all. I don't really know either of you so this is only cyber opinion but he is clearly not an easy character and sounds very much like a horse who needs a professional type yard environment where he has a strict routine, is on a busy yard where all the horse do much the same thing. I have come to realise that the DIY yard is a very hard environment for horses and they require an exceptional temperament to cope with it. Many young horses simply don't and actually quite a few older ones too.

I think with you not being well and him being tricky you are over thinking some things and generally finding him very stressful which he is maybe picking up on. There are lots of horses out there who could give you a lot of fun, be easy to handle, ride, compete etc and are not bothered by yard changes, field changes and so forth.

Please don't be offended, this is not meant to get at you or say you are not capable at all, just from reading your posts and following your journey with this horse I do wonder if you are perhaps not suited that well.

Hope you get things sorted.
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Thank you for your post. :)

I am viewing a yard this week that is Pro run by a producer of event horses. They specialise in youngsters/rehabilitation etc. They sound lovely, experienced, competent and understanding. They also know my Trainer personally, so that also gives me a lot of confidence.

Great facilities and they are happy to work with us to get us both happy, confident and out enjoying ourselves. They provide assisted DIY if needed and hold clinics as well.

I agree, my horse and I don't come across as a great combo but he is the horse for me, it truly is my illness that is hindering. My horse and I have a great bond and he makes me laugh everyday. He's such a character and I know he's not happy. I'm obviously not happy with this yard either and frustrated as it seemed perfect. So combining that with the way Fibro works it's a lose/lose situation.

I know when he's being an ass, when he's genuinely upset, when he's being himself and he just isn't himself in this paddock. I'm not allowed to move him into any of the 23 spare paddocks to see if that settles him like he did in initial paddock, so something has got to give.
 
muckypony said:
Just a thought... Why don't you just ask the YO why she goes in? Make it sound like you are concerned for your horse.

I don't know about anyone else but I'm now pretty intrigued...
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To photograph poo, apparently. YO does sound OTT. TBF, I'd be incandescent if the YO interrupted a conversation with the vet to ask me to poo pick. That's crazy.
 
FrankieCob said:
Honestly, you seem like a really lovely person and a very good owner, but is he the right horse? I've been there and done that with the wrong horse, and its made so, so, soo much worse with a medical condition. I dont have the same condition as you, but some of what I do have, has exactly the same symptoms as you. I have gifted my high maintenace horse to his loaner, and the feeling of relief is unbelievable!

My current horse is soooo easy to manage, I honesty could tether him to a roundabout with a bucket of water and go back in a week and he would be fine. Obviously I dont do that, but it means that with a good level of care he absolutely flourishes and I dont ever have to worry. I know its very hard to give something up because your health isnt right, but it might be the best thing you have ever done :)
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He is exactly the type of horse I want. He's quirky but honest, bold but cautious, athletic, balanced and intelligent. I viewed him at 3 months old and he just 'had something' I couldn't put my finger on and so he came to me as a weanling. This went a tad wrong after he had surgery but I've always kept hold of him as he had that 'something'.

I'd never figured it out until a few weeks ago. This one has all the qualities of my deceased horse, who was quirky, opinionated, highly strung and a top class eventer.

If my horse is unhappy, I'm unhappy. I think we both need to go back to a Pro environment.

Thank you for being kind. :)
 
cinnamontoast said:
To photograph poo, apparently. YO does sound OTT. TBF, I'd be incandescent if the YO interrupted a conversation with the vet to ask me to poo pick. That's crazy.
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The horse had flipped over and gone down wither first onto the concrete, it's fractured 5 vertebrae. They were having a conversation that the horse may need PTS when YO interrupted. Poo comes first, clearly!
 
Illusion100 said:
Thank you for your post. :)

I am viewing a yard this week that is Pro run by a producer of event horses. They specialise in youngsters/rehabilitation etc. They sound lovely, experienced, competent and understanding. They also know my Trainer personally, so that also gives me a lot of confidence.

Great facilities and they are happy to work with us to get us both happy, confident and out enjoying ourselves. They provide assisted DIY if needed and hold clinics as well.

I agree, my horse and I don't come across as a great combo but he is the horse for me, it truly is my illness that is hindering. My horse and I have a great bond and he makes me laugh everyday. He's such a character and I know he's not happy. I'm obviously not happy with this yard either and frustrated as it seemed perfect. So combining that with the way Fibro works it's a lose/lose situation.

I know when he's being an ass, when he's genuinely upset, when he's being himself and he just isn't himself in this paddock. I'm not allowed to move him into any of the 23 spare paddocks to see if that settles him like he did in initial paddock, so something has got to give.
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That sounds like a very sensible option, the environment will help both of you I think by the sound of things. Fingers crossed for you that it works out.
 
MileAMinute said:
Not read all the replies but it sounds like you don't trust the YO to go in your field and your YO doesn't trust you to look after your paddock.

Recipe for disaster all round!
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YO doesn't trust any livery to look after their paddock.......

All of us arrive at yard everyday and first on to do list is poo-pick in case we get put on naughty step. Then we can enjoy our horses once we've poo-picked, hoovered and steam cleaned paddocks. Ok slight exaggeration but that's how we feel.....

I'm going to move anyway. I can't be dealing with a YO's mental issues to this extent, I have enough of my own! :D
 
Illusion100 said:
The horse had flipped over and gone down wither first onto the concrete, it's fractured 5 vertebrae. They were having a conversation that the horse may need PTS when YO interrupted. Poo comes first, clearly!
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Wow! Poor horse and poor owner. YO's out of order. That aside it's not the yard for you or your horse. Good luck in finding a new home for you both.
 
Pearlsasinger said:
It sounds as if you've come tot he best decision for you and your horse. Good luck with the move!
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Thank you. :)

I've explained I have Fibro, the horse is quirky, what my Trainer has advised about him etc.

Potential new YM has expressed they can't guarantee he'll settle but are prepared to think outside the box and help us as best they can. I really appreciate that kind of honesty and understanding, so I hope this move (hopefully) is just what we need.

Plus I think they have more to do in their life that revolve it around poo-picking!
 
Good luck with the move. I actually understand where you are coming from as when you are in the environment with all the other liveries and it is always being discussed/stressed about it gets blown up big time. Of course looking from the outside in we can't understand the fuss but we don't see the whole picture. I do think a move is best for both of you - what a pain though. I know you won't consider a companion and I do respect that but one of mine didn't particularly express a desire to be with others but had loads of other issues. Scary as it was once turned out with my others he changed almost overnight. He is still quite independent and can go out alone when needed (if others at a show etc) so you wouldn't imagine he would have changed so much but he did. What I am saying is just try to keep an open mind - scary as it is! Although you do seem like a pretty sensible person so I'm sure you will! Good luck to both of you. You deserve a bit more good stuff coming your way :)
 
Hetsmum said:
Good luck with the move. I actually understand where you are coming from as when you are in the environment with all the other liveries and it is always being discussed/stressed about it gets blown up big time. Of course looking from the outside in we can't understand the fuss but we don't see the whole picture. I do think a move is best for both of you - what a pain though. I know you won't consider a companion and I do respect that but one of mine didn't particularly express a desire to be with others but had loads of other issues. Scary as it was once turned out with my others he changed almost overnight. He is still quite independent and can go out alone when needed (if others at a show etc) so you wouldn't imagine he would have changed so much but he did. What I am saying is just try to keep an open mind - scary as it is! Although you do seem like a pretty sensible person so I'm sure you will! Good luck to both of you. You deserve a bit more good stuff coming your way :)
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Thank you, things have been tough for quite a while but there is a happy future ahead.

I appreciate many people just can't see what my problem is, that's fine, as you say it's not always easy for the outsider looking in so thank you for understanding.

Wishing you all the very best.
 
Illusion100 said:
Maybe it's because we are both from Ulster?! :D

I genuinely didn't know this was happening as YO does it 'out of hours' and it's only when liveries have arrived particularly early/late due to life/work commitments that they have seen them going round the paddocks. So it really does feel like you are being checked up on and yes, all they had to do was say from the off that's that what they do then I'd have been fine about it.

I suppose I'm frustrated that while the overall management is excellent, individual horse management is pretty much non-existent. I think it is heading that way, everyone really likes the yard but finds they are treated like children and are dictated to without compromise. It's a small yard (14 stables, 10 occupied) and while all liveries have a grudge atm, most people feel there is little point trying to do much about it as YO is so rigid.

For me, if after I've exhausted alternative methods of trying to put an end to his pacing and YO refuses to compromise, I'm moving. If I have a happy horse (like he was when he was in initial paddock), I can put up with the YO texts and OCD as everything else is ideal.

If I'd have known about this side of things beforehand, as disappointed as I'd have been, I wouldn't have moved him there.
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ahh no way! what part, if you don't mind me asking?

It really just sounds like you're frustrated at a lot of things within the yard and its running, for a small yard, it might take voting with your feet for the YO to realise it's time to make changes. imo, the constant texting would drive me absolutely insane - especially as I wouldn't be able to be at the yard to pick it up as demanded or get there asap all the time.

Definitely think moving, if you feel like it's right for you both, is the right way forward.
 
sasquatch said:
ahh no way! what part, if you don't mind me asking?

It really just sounds like you're frustrated at a lot of things within the yard and its running, for a small yard, it might take voting with your feet for the YO to realise it's time to make changes. imo, the constant texting would drive me absolutely insane - especially as I wouldn't be able to be at the yard to pick it up as demanded or get there asap all the time.

Definitely think moving, if you feel like it's right for you both, is the right way forward.
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Co. Down and yourself?

I think we will both understand that 'sleeked' behaviour doesn't sit well with us. :D

Many liveries are upset but put up with it, I just can't. I'm not there to pay money to feel I'm in P1 and have genuine concerns regarding my horses welfare that are ignored. I haven't been there long at all and can't get my head round people tolerating this YO's unyielding attitude towards genuine issues.

Someone else can waste their money in my place, however the way things are going YO will have more empty stables than full ones.
 
booandellie said:
You say early on in the post that it took you ages to find a clean tidy and well maintained yard and the reason it is that way is that the YO is doing her best to keep it that way( although admittedly texts about an odd poo are ridiculously OCD). Liveries never see their yard and look after it quite how the YO would and if regular checks aren't done then problems don't get sorted. I have been in my liveries paddocks this weekend topping weeds and regularly inspect them, even my most reliable liveries sometimes are too busy to do their share of poo picking, water trough filling and often don't report when fencing is down . I found 2 big rabbit holes that needing filling in this weekend in 1 field so i know that if i didn't do these regular checks the field would be poorly maintained , full of poo and sometimes have no water. There are so many yards where the YOs don't give a monkeys about their yards as long as the livery is paid so i think i would feel grateful that she is bothered and also a bit sorry for her because her poo obsession is clearly driving her demented!
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You sound a fantastic YO. :)

I check my horses field daily for fencing, water, weeds, wildlife burrows and of course poo-picking. I would be quite annoyed if an owner didn't care about such things from a YO pov.
 
I wouldn't have a problem with this and all previous YO's have been very knowledgeable and good with horses.

I would think its a great way for your horse to get used to other people, infact I think its important that at least your YO does incase of an emergency when you aren't there and she needs to catch him.
 
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