Is This Wrong?

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ScattyBella

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I have a bit of an issue at the moment and dont want to cause trouble if theres no need for it and im just being overly sensitive.

I share with 3 other women on my yard, and generally they are a nice bunch and not bitchy at all and we all got on really well, well that was the case until number 5 moved in!

call her D, she is a nightmare, she has a very old cobby thing and a very nasty TB mare and she constantly causes trouble.

examples; she has put her aggressive mare in with my gang and told me that one of the other ladies (call her S) said it was fine, which resulted in my gelding being kicked and going lame, i went mad at S who went mad back and basically had a similar story about me letting D use her tack, which was a lie. D got confronted and said it was a mistake, dissolved into tears and we laid off her a bit. but it caused bad feeling.

she uses everyones feeds/hay/bedding and then denies it. has taken over a box that was meant to be mine, for her cob that she insisted lived out all year. she never turns her mare out in her designated paddock, its always in someone elses, She has begun teaching in the school which means noone else can go in whilst she is there with her crazy horse. which in turn pisses us all of and on top of missing feeds and stuff it causes more and more bad feeling.

anyway this is the last straw. i have a TB who is not a particularly good doer in winter, as soon as it even gets a bit chilly he is huddled up in the corner so he is rugged fairly early and has a duvet on overnight (he lives out as he detests being in a stable..i know, im a softie) anyway, i get to the yard this morning and he is in his feild, no rug whatsoever! im a bit startled and he is not a happy bunny and i bring him in and chuck on his day rug and go searching for his duvet, anyway lo and behold someones crazy mare is stood, the other side of her paddock with a very familiar rug on its back...NOT HAPPY!!! everyones number is pinned up on the board so if she wanted to borrow it she could have easily called me!
on top of that, one of my feed sacks has been split all down the side where someone has yanked the scoop out, and mix is all over the feed room! seeing as noone elses horses have been turned out yet im safe in the knowledge it was her!

im not happy at all, in the 3 months she has been here its been constant rubbish, i almost dread going up there just because i know there will be a drama! the other girls have had their share too and we have gone from a friendly group to i hate to say it, quite bitchy and snappy with eachother, theres no more texts to offer turning out/mucking out/bringing in in the dark in the morning like there used to be.

Should i Host a meeting and try to get this woman off the yard??? i will not move unless my horses are in danger, i love my yard, its perfect in every way. but im thinking im going to have to.

what would anyone else do ???

thanks
 
I would be spitting feathers, esp at taking the rug off your boys back - that is def not on!!! Do you have a yo/ym who could deal with this? If not and you all just share then I would get everyone together and explain why the behaviour is unacceptable.
 
glosgirl said:
I would be spitting feathers, esp at taking the rug off your boys back - that is def not on!!! Do you have a yo/ym who could deal with this? If not and you all just share then I would get everyone together and explain why the behaviour is unacceptable.
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Too right!

If she was in my yard, and I had been made aware that there were many niggles, she would be asked to sit down & talk it over. Id point out that yard was settled etc before she arrived & what niggles there now were - particularly with items like a rug on her horse that doesn't clearly belong to her. (I like to be direct, then people know where thay are).
She'd have a chance to put things right by apologising, and if not - then out the door anyway with minimum/no notice as she'd have broken livery agreement she'd have signed prior to bringing horse in.
 
Why are you even asking??? Get rid asap and I bet all the others will calm down and you will all be friends again. What a cheeky cow!!
 
TBH, if someone went and took a rug off my horses back, I would have caught the b***h by the throat and run her up a wall. NONE of her behaviour is acceptable (lets call a spade a spade - she''s a thief if she is regularly helping herself to feed, bedding,etc and not compensating the person it belongs to) and this is the last straw. I can guarantee she has been thrown off quite a few yards and it sounds like she uses other people's stuff for as long as she can get away with it. She is using you and the other liveries to make the costs of keeping two horses cheaper for her - I don't think she'll stop anytime soon. You need to get her off the yard NOW. I always teach my children to never, ever touch other people's things so why a grown woman cannot understand this is beyond me. Who the HELL takes a rug off someone else's horse and sticks it on their own?!
 
weve had words before, and she is very good at melting into floods of tears and bringing up her recent divorce (rolly eyes moment). because of our working hours we dont really get chance to meet all at the same time which is why id like to get everyone together, i just feel terrible doing that!

the YO isnt horsey whatsoever, he just owns the stableblock and the land and we very rarely see him, he lets us get on with it. and we are all DIY so there isnt a YM. we have never needed one in the 6/7 years ive been there!

i know, i came into work literally shaking and im staring at a blank email page thinking wether i should write something to everyone as i doubt i'll catch them all.
 
even if YO isnt horsey and hasnt much to do with it, you still need to inform him of the goings on. He can either do something about it or let you lot get on with it, either way you cant do anything without his say so. But DEFINATLY get the ball rolling somehow! This is really not on!!
 
She obviously knows how to turn on the waterworks in the hope that she'll be left alone and felt sorry for. She sounds like an absolute nightmare. If she had taken the rug off my horse and put it on hers there would have been hell to pay. I'm usually a very laid-back person but once I'm riled woe betide the person! She needs to be got rid of (from the yard not anything more sinister :p) and told in no uncertain terms that what she did was completely unacceptable- who cares if she turns on the waterworks- her divorce is no excuse for using your things straight off your horse. I'm annoyed for you because I just can't believe someone would actually do that!
 
indiat said:
TBH, if someone went and took a rug off my horses back, I would have caught the b***h by the throat and run her up a wall. NONE of her behaviour is acceptable (lets call a spade a spade - she''s a thief if she is regularly helping herself to feed, bedding,etc and not compensating the person it belongs to) and this is the last straw. I can guarantee she has been thrown off quite a few yards and it sounds like she uses other people's stuff for as long as she can get away with it. She is using you and the other liveries to make the costs of keeping two horses cheaper for her - I don't think she'll stop anytime soon. You need to get her off the yard NOW. I always teach my children to never, ever touch other people's things so why a grown woman cannot understand this is beyond me. Who the HELL takes a rug off someone else's horse and sticks it on their own?!
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Exactly this.

Get her off the yard, ASAP!!!
 
Ive just been talking to one of the other girls as she text me to say my rug is on D's horse and she agrees with me enoughs enough. we are going to go tomorrow and demand that either she dramatically changes her attitude in the next 2 weeks or she is off.

that means no lessons, no rug stealing, no stirring taking bedding/food/buckets/ headcollars and ropes, she stays in her paddock and her old cob goes back into the field.

oh and whats made me even more fuming is that D has apparently been slagging me off to the others about Captain and his rug, saying anyone who had the first clue about horses would know that putting a rug on him early will make him unable to cope and he'll end up not being able to ''take a summer breeze''. and then she goes an puts the same rug on her mare...she is a fecking idiot!
 
I do think you should all get together on 'friendly' terms and neutral ground - maybe go out for a pizza or something, and talk about this. She may well have had some kind of personal issues, but that is no reason to be causing trouble amongst some previously happy stable-mates. Tell her straight that it won't be tolerated (no need to be rude or nasty), but she can't be allowed to carry on like this. I'm sure if you are reasonable towards her, an put your case in a calm manner, she will see the error of her ways. Offer her help and support through her 'difficult' time and you may guilt her into behaving! ;)
 
elsazzo said:
Get her out! lol

you obviously are quite easy going and she appears to be taking advantage of this- not on at all!!
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yes, im easygoing, we all were because until this woman turned up we could be. and when she did turn up she told us all so many sob stories that weve all felt genuinely sorry for her and tried to turn a blind eye. but not anymore!

im shaking again cos im so angry, my husband is doing the horses tonight because if i bump into her im afraid i might punch her. this morning turning up at work my collegues said i was white with anger and looked like i could kill someone.

i may be soft on captain, i can make all the excuses in the world for him, but he has had a hard life and he deserves a bit of TLC, and if that means i put him in a heavyweight rug so he doesnt get chilly, then thats up to me. as least i dont punch my horse or whack it with a spade like D does!
 
Holymoly how are you even asking...if what that woman has done is wrong....of course it is wrong and she knows it too how can anyone take a rug off a horse's back?.....and in this weather....I would have gone mental, let alone the using of the feed, bedding etc etc...why should you and the others be paying for her two horses....let her do it I would certainly get you friends (not her) together have a chat and then all together have it out with her.....then tell her to get off yard....
What she has done/doing is not on at all...we all work very hard to keep our horse's so why should she be an exception to the rule?...NO WAY!!!

Good luck...ignore the waterworks...that would not wash with me....theive of me NOT my horse
 
ScattyBella said:
yes, im easygoing, we all were because until this woman turned up we could be. and when she did turn up she told us all so many sob stories that weve all felt genuinely sorry for her and tried to turn a blind eye. but not anymore!

im shaking again cos im so angry, my husband is doing the horses tonight because if i bump into her im afraid i might punch her. this morning turning up at work my collegues said i was white with anger and looked like i could kill someone.

i may be soft on captain, i can make all the excuses in the world for him, but he has had a hard life and he deserves a bit of TLC, and if that means i put him in a heavyweight rug so he doesnt get chilly, then thats up to me. as least i dont punch my horse or whack it with a spade like D does!
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She does WHAT?????? that is really NOT on poor poor horse's....If I seen that I would have used the spade on her.....disgusting behaviour no animals deserves that treatment
 
yes i know. her mare has a very vicious streak and a few weeks after she came to us D was poo picking (probably the first and last time she did!) and it bit her and D swung round and whacked her. YO did get involved with that, i will say, as he hates mistreatment in any form. she cried at him and said she had had a bad day and he let her off. He'll be there tomorrow so we will all be speaking to him.
 
I just hope that you all manage to get this sorted once and for all for all your sake's...(the original friends)....glad YO will be there too...even if not horsey...she should not be allowed to have horse's if she treats them in such a way...maybe she can't get over the divorce and is taking it out on everyone else and perhaps actually can't afford to keep her two...either way though what she is doing is wrong!!

Best of luck tomorrow
 
Don't give her the option to change her behaviour, if she was ever going to do it she would have done by now. She knows what she is doing is wrong, no one is that stupid. She's taking the royal pee, and you need to send her packing ASAP. I'm sure all the other girls will agree, and i'm sure the YO will understand. If he struggles with the concept of how much trouble she is causeing, you should all join together and tell him either she goes or the rest of you do. I'm sure the monetary incentive will clear things up. You need to get tough with this ridiculous woman now.
 
I think you've done extremely well to keep 'calm' about this & not to have immediately lost it with this woman, not sure I could have done that! The stealing feed, etc is bad enough but actually pinching the rug off your poor horse & putting it on her own is totally out of order - that would have made me deranged. How dare she !!!!!

I think one way or another you need to resolve this as it's obviously impacting on you. If you are anything like me, anything to do with my horses turns me into an obsessed, worrier :rolleyes: and this would be causing me sleepless nights! I don't care what people do to me, but do something to my horses.......... now that's a different story !!!!

I think your YO has to get rid of her, he surely can't risk a loyal customer who has been with him for as long as you, never mind the other girls on your yard for someone this ridiculous. She's a liability! I think she'd be better off going now rather than having another chance coz often you find that people like this (who like to take the p**s) will revert back to their old ways when they think it's safe. I had a right **** on a yard with me many years ago who decided he wasn't going to come & see his horse for 6 weeks coz I'd stupidly agreed to turn him out & bring him in when I did mine. Of course that also meant then mucking out, feeding, etc, using my stuff as he didn't show his face for such a long time! He was booted off the yard thank God !

Let us know how you get on ?? I could feel the rage building up just reading your thread, feel really sorry for you. Good luck 2mrw.
 
Everyone has said pretty much what I would say.

I really do feel for you, in fact I'm angry for you. If I saw my horse out unrugged to find his rug was on somebody elses I would have wrapped a rake around her neck!!

Good luck tomorrow...don't fall for any crocodile tears. She is a thief.
 
and the saddest thing about it all is the 2 horses that suffer. Politely (always keep your self respect), ask her to sit down as you need to have a chat, elect a speaker so you dont all try and speak at once as it will go tits up, try and get all of you present having discussed it previously that the speaker will be backed up by the others, just politely tell her that what is happening is a no go, these are the rules stick by them or fox trot oscar, you are not going to like this but Christmas is a few weeks away, it is snowing, its cold, (maybe she is a bit short of money and cant get over the divorce, maybe she doesnt need the horses in her life right now - be sympathetic - you never know what its like in another persons shoes until you are in them) but stick to your guns regarding the rules, one more slip and out you go. Its going to be hard but you will feel a better person for it.
 
I'm sorry but, her face would be broken.
I'm all for handling things proffesionally, but I swear to god as soon as people start touching my stuff that's it.

You must be insanely tolorable to not have minced her by now.
 
My jaw actually dropped open when I read your post about your rug being on HER horse! I would of gone postal if anyone had done that to me! You have the patience of a saint!

Get the b*tch off the yard asap!
 
Bl00dy nora! If she did that to one of my boys she'd be six feet under. Thats a disgrace! Agree with those who have said don't bother giving her a chance...people that bad don't change. Kick her theifing little a$$ off your yard pronto!
 
I would of rang her up as soon as I saw the rug on her horses back and damanded she comes and removes it from her horses back, end of story. If she was short of a rug I would of sorted one out for her to borrow, but only untill she bought one herself.

What a bloody liberty.:eek:
 
If anybody had taken a rug off my horse and put it on their own I would be fuming. Persdonally i would have been on the phone to her immediately asking what on earth she thought she was doing. You are all aware of what she's like and therefore I would have a meeting and confront her asap with the yard owner present. It seems a shame that she is starting to come between the rest of you, especially as you are all aware of what she's like. Don't be fooled by crocodile tears it sounds like she is doing that as a way of manipulating people not to adress her behaviour for fear of upsetting her. Good luck with the situation and hope it gets resolved.
 
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