It happened AGAIN! :( cant take anymore!

Well this thread was a shed load of fun.

What did you want to hear OP..... that you are amazing and can obviously sort this out yourself, despite being scared to canter your own horse?

as it was obviously not the sensible GET SOME SODDING HELP, suggestions that have been put forward here.
 
Omarkiam said:
I have already stated that I have arranged for an instructor to join me in weekly sessions to assess what the situation is and how to improve it.
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In that case, why on earth have you been moaning about horses being ruined by professionals and that you don't think it is time to get professional help etc etc? That's all people have been saying - get an instructor in!
 
I am only working part time at mo, I manage to afford everything my horses need but a weekly instructor would not be affordable, I was hoping my friend would come along weekly and give both me and the horses some schooling but I don't wish to put that upon her so I am going to think about re-homing my boys and getting a confidence giver in the future. Or just working with horses, and having an odd ride here and there.

The lack of funds is NOT the reason alone why I won't call an instructor in, so please do not think that is what I am saying.

My boys would be better with someone who has more experience, time and money to bring them to confidence giving level.
 
HashRouge said:
In that case, why on earth have you been moaning about horses being ruined by professionals and that you don't think it is time to get professional help etc etc? That's all people have been saying - get an instructor in!
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Because the instructor I have arranged is a neighbour, a good friend
 
Omarkiam said:
it was some sort of spook plus mixture of other factors, friend not a brilliant rider and kicked her legs a bit, therefore sending scat forward more.
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Which rather begs the question, why did you put her on a horse that you say has a history of bolting, to ride out with you on a horse that you describes 'bolts to catch up'?? :confused:
 
lexiedhb said:
Well this thread was a shed load of fun.

What did you want to hear OP..... that you are amazing and can obviously sort this out yourself, despite being scared to canter your own horse?

as it was obviously not the sensible GET SOME SODDING HELP, suggestions that have been put forward here.
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Why have you got to be sarcastic, and get a kick out of other peoples unhappiness? This thread has reduced me to tears, I understand I have not the experience or knowledge, thats why I have had to think hard about whats best for them, I guess I was trying to convince myself that I could deal with it, in a moment of madness.
 
Omarkiam said:
Why have you got to be sarcastic, and get a kick out of other peoples unhappiness? This thread has reduced me to tears, I understand I have not the experience or knowledge, thats why I have had to think hard about whats best for them, I guess I was trying to convince myself that I could deal with it, in a moment of madness.
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I don't think anyone wants you to be reduced to tears, they're trying to help.
 
Omarkiam said:
Helping by admitting they have had quite a laugh at my misfortune?
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I think you need to grow a thicker skin Omarkiam. And read the post for what it is.

You have a problem
You are given advice
You don't want advice
You get upset at someones frustration at your lack of acknowledgement of advice.


We all make mistakes.

The key is - can we learn from them, and what can we learn?

Failing is not the mistake - but failing to act in an affirmative and positive way is.
 
I DO want advice. I guess its just the way I put things on the forum. I took on board the advice of an instructor and gave my friend a call straight away.

I just feel I have given up, that is all, and I dont like he fact people on here have confirmed my worst fears, that I am not good enough for these horses, noone likes to think they can't be ''good enough'', just hard to take in, I am only human, I do have feelings ;)
 
I think people are getting a bit frustrated because anything anyone is suggesting you are saying you can’t do because of X,Y,Z. If you refuse to get help from anyone then I guess the best thing may be for you to find new homes for them and start again with something a bit more suitable. Good luck!
 
I dont see anyone laughing at anything.

I see knowledgable horsepeople skirting round (or not in some cases) the issue that you are overhorsed and inexperienced and that you have come very close to potentially killing yourself, your horse or the bloke in the landrover, not to mention the friend on the other horse.

Stop whining just because you arent hearing what you want to hear and actually LISTEN to whats being said....people go to a lot of trouble to answer threads.

Do the right thing by yourself and these horses and find yourself something else, smaller and with no issues, to ride.
 
spaniel said:
I dont see anyone laughing at anything.

I see knowledgable horsepeople skirting round (or not in some cases) the issue that you are overhorsed and inexperienced and that you have come very close to potentially killing yourself, your horse or the bloke in the landrover, not to mention the friend on the other horse.

Stop whining just because you arent hearing what you want to hear and actually LISTEN to whats being said....people go to a lot of trouble to answer threads.

Do the right thing by yourself and these horses and find yourself something else, smaller and with no issues, to ride.
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It doesnt matter how experienced you are, no horse is perfect and if a horse wants to bolt, it can! There have been many fatal accidents of experienced horse riders becuse something unexpected has happened.

I hve agreed I as in the wrong and I am not right for these horses already!

And you say listen to what others are sying, which is to get instructor in, but your saying get rid?

Ive been bombarded with private messages from people saying not to give up and to strt with ground work, I am confused as to what the best thing is! But now I know that its either getting a professional or getting rid!
 
Have managed to read through all of this and I feel I really have to comment. OP is obviously feeling really low so lets all take a chill pill and remember, so much more important things in life right now.

OP, if I was you what I would do is continue riding the horse in an enclosed arena for now, until I could get someone (professional or not) who had LOADS of experience with horses ridden bitless to come and help me figure out whats best for Omie. In the mean time if I was feeling confident I might ride him out with a steady eddy for confidence (or get a confident friend to ride him) perhaps in a big field that is enclosed so he cant bugroff onto a roadf, but is a big enough space so that I could test my brakes. I would be having lessons because the thing that is obvious from your posts is that you have lost a lot of confidence, lessons whether they be a 'professional' or a friend who is really good is a great idea.

I think you care so much for your horse but the important thing is you cannot let pride ever get in the way, as the 'owners' as the 'trainers' as the 'professionals' we have to know when we can solve a problem and when we can't. It doesn't make you a bad rider or a bad person, but a person with strengths and weaknesses like everyone else.

Relax, forget about the horses for a night and tomorrow is another day :)
 
Omarkiam said:
I am going to think about re-homing my boys and getting a confidence giver in the future..
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I thought you'd described your horse as a confidence giver in your OP?

I read your OP and have skimmed the replies. My first thoughts are that your horses are not bolters. They may be rude and naughty for taking off like that, but IMHO it is down to you to be able to stop your horse. I am a small rider who has a big horse (5ft4, under 9st, with a 17hh IDx) yet I know that if I was in an open field with another horse who bolted, I could contain my horse. He wouldn't like it but he certainly wouldn't bolt after it, though he would bounce up and down.

How did you both try to slow/stop the horses? It is difficult when you are nervous but I think you are going to have to learn how to effectively slow down/stop the horses(s) if this situation occurs again. I don't believe that jumping straight into a dutch gag is the answer although I do think a stronger bit would help you, even if only your confidence in being able to stop.

I think it does sound like you could do with some lessons but also maybe need to realise that horses are not machines, and sometimes they do behave in an unpredictable manner which you have to learn to be able to deal with. I'm not the bravest rider out there so I know that when something frightening happens, you can freeze up and sometimes bailing out seems like the best option but you should try to learn to deal with it better. When your money situation is better, you might want to think about having some TFT sessions with someone like Jo Cooper as well as your lessons. TFT will help with your confidence.
 
Couldnt resist ! Have never bothered to join forum but yours drew me in. Plenty of people are trying to give you help and advice and you choose to be contradictory and negative, so my assumption was you wrote this as a wind up.
You should be impressed that you succeded in getting an extra person on HH!!!!
 
Definition of stupidity: 'Doing something the same way twice and expecting a different result'

You need help from a proffesional!
I am a nervous rider at times and whenever I feel those nerves come creeping back I'm on the phone to my RI so she can give me a kick up the ar$e. I honestly would not be where I am today without her and I strongly suggest you get this sort of help.

If money is an issue perhaps swap working for the RI for a lesson? This is what I did when money was tight.
 
Omarkiam said:
It doesnt matter how experienced you are, no horse is perfect and if a horse wants to bolt, it can! There have been many fatal accidents of experienced horse riders becuse something unexpected has happened.
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Stop making excuses, and get yourself some help, maybe get rid of one horse so you can afford time/moneywise to do the other one properly and have the help you need. I have 6 stables, doesn't mean I can look after 6 horses on my own, better to do one horse properly than a half arsed job of two.
 
La Fiaba said:
Have managed to read through all of this and I feel I really have to comment. OP is obviously feeling really low so lets all take a chill pill and remember, so much more important things in life right now.

OP, if I was you what I would do is continue riding the horse in an enclosed arena for now, until I could get someone (professional or not) who had LOADS of experience with horses ridden bitless to come and help me figure out whats best for Omie. In the mean time if I was feeling confident I might ride him out with a steady eddy for confidence (or get a confident friend to ride him) perhaps in a big field that is enclosed so he cant bugroff onto a roadf, but is a big enough space so that I could test my brakes. I would be having lessons because the thing that is obvious from your posts is that you have lost a lot of confidence, lessons whether they be a 'professional' or a friend who is really good is a great idea.

I think you care so much for your horse but the important thing is you cannot let pride ever get in the way, as the 'owners' as the 'trainers' as the 'professionals' we have to know when we can solve a problem and when we can't. It doesn't make you a bad rider or a bad person, but a person with strengths and weaknesses like everyone else.

Relax, forget about the horses for a night and tomorrow is another day :)
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Thank you and thank you to chesnut cob.

I m just feeling very low, and didnt know where to turn, I know I am not capable enough to solve these problems alone, and know I need someone with alot more experience to help me. I didnt need people drilling into me about how I wasnt listening.

I love my boys more than anything and they have been my rocks through alot of happenings just lately. I will sleep on it and tomorro decide whether an instructor or new home is the best option. Omie has a big bond with me and ill canter up to me when he sees me, scat is just getting there, both horses have no had great pasts, scat doesnt load atall, but settles wherever he goes, omie on the other hand is really hard to settle, and was heavily abused, so I would prefer to work with him, than rehome him again.
 
Omarkiam said:
It doesnt matter how experienced you are, no horse is perfect and if a horse wants to bolt, it can! There have been many fatal accidents of experienced horse riders becuse something unexpected has happened.

I hve agreed I as in the wrong and I am not right for these horses already!

And you say listen to what others are sying, which is to get instructor in, but your saying get rid?

Ive been bombarded with private messages from people saying not to give up and to strt with ground work, I am confused as to what the best thing is! But now I know that its either getting a professional or getting rid!
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OK then....
IMO the first thing you need to do is to get a QUALIFIED and good local instructor to come (and yes it IS going to cost) and actually see you ride these two. Then they can give you an honest assesment of your ability and your horses suitability for you. Please DONT get a friend for this, you need someone who is going to be honest and not say something just because they dont want to upset you. Thats a good place to start and might help you to make a decision.
 
It doesnt matter how experienced you are, no horse is perfect and if a horse wants to bolt, it can! There have been many fatal accidents of experienced horse riders becuse something unexpected has happened.
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You are rather over simplifying things here. And this line of thought will get you nowhere, other than a deeper hole.
 
OP the best thing (and common theme running here) is to get the help you need, people are only offering advice (ok with a few nasty, pointless posts thrown in) - take this advice and run with it, if you want to keep your horses do what you can to get to grips with the situation. School work until your confidence builds, and someone to help you out.
 
spaniel said:
OK then....
IMO the first thing you need to do is to get a QUALIFIED and good local instructor to come (and yes it IS going to cost) and actually see you ride these two. Then they can give you an honest assesment of your ability and your horses suitability for you. Please DONT get a friend for this, you need someone who is going to be honest and not say something just because they dont want to upset you. Thats a good place to start and might help you to make a decision.
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Shes a good friend and I dont think she would bat around the bush as such, she would be honest with me. Although I could try both, perhaps pay for a couple of lessons from a non-friend instructor
 
La Fiaba said:
Have managed to read through all of this and I feel I really have to comment. OP is obviously feeling really low so lets all take a chill pill and remember, so much more important things in life right now.

OP, if I was you what I would do is continue riding the horse in an enclosed arena for now, until I could get someone (professional or not) who had LOADS of experience with horses ridden bitless to come and help me figure out whats best for Omie. In the mean time if I was feeling confident I might ride him out with a steady eddy for confidence (or get a confident friend to ride him) perhaps in a big field that is enclosed so he cant bugroff onto a roadf, but is a big enough space so that I could test my brakes. I would be having lessons because the thing that is obvious from your posts is that you have lost a lot of confidence, lessons whether they be a 'professional' or a friend who is really good is a great idea.

I think you care so much for your horse but the important thing is you cannot let pride ever get in the way, as the 'owners' as the 'trainers' as the 'professionals' we have to know when we can solve a problem and when we can't. It doesn't make you a bad rider or a bad person, but a person with strengths and weaknesses like everyone else.

Relax, forget about the horses for a night and tomorrow is another day :)
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^^^^^ This. Relax. Take a deep breath. You have had a crappy thing happen to you and its knocked your confidence. Its happened to most of us. What you must now do is be objective. You clearly need a bit of help to get your confidence back - lots of people have suggested a steady hack with a sensible neddy, or lessons and I think you know this is what you need to do. Just make sure you, your horse and everyone else is safe. This does not mean you are a rubbish rider, a bad owner or whatever else you think people may be saying, it just means you have had a confidence knock. Try not to over-analyse the situation. Get yourself better, eat some choccie, give your horses some love then get back in there. You will be fine but you MUST acknowledge the problem and tackle it head on. Get in there girl and show 'em whos boss!!!

Good luck :)
 
Omarkiam said:
It doesnt matter how experienced you are, no horse is perfect and if a horse wants to bolt, it can! There have been many fatal accidents of experienced horse riders becuse something unexpected has happened.
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Yes but very very few horses are actually 'bolters' in the true sense of the word.

Either you're the unluckiest person in the world to have 3 successive bolters, or actually they're not bolting, they're tanking off, and you're scared and unequipped to deal with it.

IMO groundwork won't help you in this situation. You need assistance in controlling your horse under saddle - particularly in wide open spaces. Working on the ground in the school won't make a blind bit of difference to your ability to control the horse next time you're out hacking.

If I was you I'd get an experienced friend to hack Omie out, and see what happens under testing circumstances - and how they deal with any attempts he makes to run off. Then they can advise you how to handle the situation.
 
Sorry you have had a scare. To me there seem to be few things going on here. There have been various comments around the horse being a bit strong and it is clear that whether it was a bolt, take off or whatever, the OP has no brakes. The bitting issue is a big problem to me. If you are going to ride this horse bitless, he needs to be schooled and responsive to within an inch of his life. He needs to understand voice commands so that when you tell him to 'whoa' he does! From this angle ground work/lunging could be useful but I agree with another poster who said just messing about on the ground isn't really going at achieve anything.
It is also important to keep this in perspective, my boy a couple of weeks ago, got spooked on the road and launched forward and did 2/3 strides of 0 to 60 mph the other day because something spooked him, but I got him back (because I have good brakes - which really seems to be the crux of this problem). It can happen. Get back on, in an arena, hack round some fields with a VERY safe friend and just build up gradually. And get a couple of lessons, a safe pair of eyes on the ground is great as a confidence builder too.
I think this whole post, if I may say, as got a tad over-dramatic!!
 
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