It happened AGAIN! :( cant take anymore!

Omarkiam......I personally never make decisions based on emotion alone - I need facts so that they can become informed decisions! I would suggest that you are currently making decisions on emotion alone and it would be beneficial for you to get some facts.

To that end I would suggest getting a FBHS to come and make an assessment of both your horses and your riding ability. There are plenty of people with no or lesser qualifications who could help, but in your position I would suggest that you need someone of that calibre who can act as an 'expert witness', because if ever you do cause an accident, trust me, that is what you will need in court.

The FBHS should assess the temperament, suitability and potential of both horses in a variety of circumstances (school, road, open field etc.). They should also make an assessment of your riding skills - possibly on a school horse as well as on your own. They should be able to make recommendations to you as to whether it is realistic to continue with either or both of these horses and what it will take (time, effort, money) to achieve those ends.

The FBHS should also advise if it's in the best interests of all for you to re-home your current equines.

You need to get a suitably qualified person who is not related to you or friends with you to do the initial assessment. If the FBHS advises a course of lessons/schooling as follow-up it may be that your friend will be suitable to do that but I would ask the FBHS for advice on suitable instructors if you do not wish to continue with them.

If you can give people an idea as to what part of the country you are in, someone may be able to point you to a suitable individual to help.
 
Omarkiam said:
I try to keep Omie in walk but his stride is like a tank, so strong and try to hold him back he will trot on the spot, if I turn him round, once hes turned the full circle he tries to bolt to catch up!
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OP don't cry! Have skimmed the replies, not sure this bit you said has been picked up on, apols if it has.

With a big, forward going horse, it may feel like the last thing you WANT to do (particularly if you have been properly taken off with in the past, and it scared you a LOT, which from what you have said is the case with you), but you must ride it forward.

Took me years and a fab instructor to learn to do this with mine. If I attempt to hold mine back, as you describe above, it will wind him up, he will then say "you know what? I'm big, I'm strong. You're being a naggy, annoying little twit. Have this" and HE will take charge. And that's when things get ugly ;)

If he has a big, good walk, why are you trying to slow it down? This is something to be thankful for, a ground-eating stride is what we're all aiming at! You need to push on, leg on, and enjoy it.

Agree with the others, this is not something you should feel forced to fix alone, instructor instructor instructor (and a GOOD one). Good luck OP xxx
 
skewby said:
OP don't cry! Have skimmed the replies, not sure this bit you said has been picked up on, apols if it has.

With a big, forward going horse, it may feel like the last thing you WANT to do (particularly if you have been properly taken off with in the past, and it scared you a LOT, which from what you have said is the case with you), but you must ride it forward.

Took me years and a fab instructor to learn to do this with mine. If I attempt to hold mine back, as you describe above, it will wind him up, he will then say "you know what? I'm big, I'm strong. You're being a naggy, annoying little twit. Have this" and HE will take charge. And that's when things get ugly ;)

If he has a big, good walk, why are you trying to slow it down? This is something to be thankful for, a ground-eating stride is what we're all aiming at! You need to push on, leg on, and enjoy it.

Agree with the others, this is not something you should feel forced to fix alone, instructor instructor instructor (and a GOOD one). Good luck OP xxx
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Thank you, and thank you to everyone whos replied.

It did get over dramatic, and I was an idiot for arguing the to** and not listening but thats just me as a person, deep down I know whats right and Ill do my best by my horses.

I try to slow him down as with bitless, it actually gives me blisters, and if I give him the rein or ''ride on the buckle'' as such, he will take the biscuit, and will get over excited. He normlly has good breaks, and with my seat alone I can stop him. If I ever felt he would take off like he did, I would never allow novice friends to ride him.

I have a large group of equine friends, I am going to ask for a good instructor and go from there...
 
amymay said:
This is the usual solution for someone to scared to ride a horse.

Don't fanny around, get yourself an instructor who can assess you and the horse and go from there.

Horse doesn't sound as if he's lacking respect, but rather an owner and jockey lacking in understanding and experience.
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I don't use a double rein because I am scared ??
 
Omarkiam said:
They do live out 24/7.

They get simple hifi with half scoop of pony nuts and some codlivine supplements.

Yes he does take off, thats a better word, he can bolt to catch up but its controllable, and I could even halt him if I felt it necessary.

As for the turning on the spot, I only do this when he is being too forward going, I would NEVER dream of doing this if he was frightened of something!

I am going to stop riding him I think and go back to some simple groundwork and some de-sensitizing. Thank you for replies.

I do need an instructor and will get one asap.

Omie CANNOT be bitted with a metal bit, as the break is right where the bit would sit. And the reason it is broken is misuse by previous owner of a Chifney bit. I would never metal bit him, metal on bone would be horribly painful for him, and would cause me more problems than bitless!
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I had a similar thing happen to me, I feel for you!

I think some simple groundwork and some de-sensitizing is a super idea and then perhaps in time, do some simple school work before hacking out and set yourself targets for your hack.... say 5 mins up the road turn round and come back, next time 10 mins and come back etc...? Also when hacking out, why not walk 10 strides, halt, wait, walk on etc. Keep him listening??

I am not going to critisis you, I think you were very brave to jump off! I hung on for dear life, luckily we were both ok! Learn to bridge reins and lean on his neck, should (god forbid) this happens again. I think someone elses post said about recruiting a jockey... why not go to a race yard and spend a day there with a jockey undertsanding how you might control the situation. I have done this and found it helped.

good luck my friend and don't give up!
 
Sounds to me like you are well out of your depth and know it deep down. I'd also like to bet there's not much wrong with either horse a few reminders about manners and a decent rider couldn't sort.

I wonder why on earth you need a 17 hand cob X as any issues you are going to have with battles of wills and sheer size and strength you will figure nowhere!

I also get the impression if you give up without getting proper help and sell these two, it won't be long before you forget the troubles, go and buy another, possibly two, and history will repeat itself. Is there any reason you have acquired an abused one? Was it too much for the last owner?

Anyway, as everyone else has said, whatever problems you are having, 'groundwork' with a hundred reins or none will get you naff all if you can't command respect by now. And Omie knows it already I'm thinking.

Get some professional help and do whatever you have to do to pay for it.
 
Omarkiam said:
Thank you, and thank you to everyone whos replied.

It did get over dramatic, and I was an idiot for arguing the to** and not listening but thats just me as a person, deep down I know whats right and Ill do my best by my horses.

I try to slow him down as with bitless, it actually gives me blisters, and if I give him the rein or ''ride on the buckle'' as such, he will take the biscuit, and will get over excited. He normlly has good breaks, and with my seat alone I can stop him. If I ever felt he would take off like he did, I would never allow novice friends to ride him.

I have a large group of equine friends, I am going to ask for a good instructor and go from there...
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Good to hear you sounding less upset and more positive hun. Sounds as though you have a good plan - stick to it. Perhaps speak to a few different local instructors, and find one that you feel that you could relate to. A good instructor would happily have a chat on the phone about what your problems are and how they could possibly be solved. Once you've picked an instructor, give them a chance - it won't help if you keep swopping instructors every week or so.

This thread was a bit "painful" to read through. So much advice, most of it good, but very little understanding of how it feels when you're shaken, down and a bit defensive. I've been there when I was younger, and have taught many people who have too. You're not useless, and there is no reason why you won't get over this once you've had some help. Take your time - theres no rush (get yourself better too!).

As for your qualified instructor friend - I don't see why she wouldn't be able to come and have a look at you. I don't work with horses anymore, but still teach friends from time to time. Just because they're my friends doesn't mean I avoid telling them things that they may not like to hear. With them, as with any paying client, I try and help them in a way that they can relate to. Being aggressive towards someone who is nervous and upset does not help at all (as this thread has shown).
 
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I really feel for you and hope you get better soon. Horses sometimes just DO bolt, especially if another horse sets them off - often it starts as an excuse to lark about but then degenerates in to out of control flat out flight. I have experienced this with my horse bolting on several occasions totally totally oblivious to what was infront/around her .... and just to let you know 4 years later I still have the same horse and she is fabulous!
How i got around this:-
1)I now use a martingale
2)Although I could ride her in a headcollar most of the time as she is a poppet, I do now use a pelham so that on hacks the curb chain can come into effect IF NEED BE - do any bitless bridles have the equivalent? The martingale is necessary or else the horse lifts its head and the curb chain has no effect. Or is there a bitless bridle that tightens and releases that would have a similar effect?
3)For months when I hacked I WALKED in the places I would normally canter or did lots of transitions perhaps WALK TROT a few strides of CANTER then back to WALK. The main thing to remember is that your horse must do what you ask and not control you. Basically you are schooling on a hack and I think it would be more useful to get the instructor to hack out with you as schooling in the manege is all well and good but having the instructor where the problem may arise would be far more useful!
4)When I want to stop from canter/gallop now I say WHOA before I apply pressure on the reins then totally release them then do it again. She now slows at the voice and the slightest pressure as the immediate release is her reward.
Anyway, chin up and I think you are very brave x
 
JoBird said:
I really feel for you and hope you get better soon. Horses sometimes just DO bolt, especially if another horse sets them off - often it starts as an excuse to lark about but then degenerates in to out of control flat out flight. I have experienced this with my horse bolting on several occasions totally totally oblivious to what was infront/around her .... and just to let you know 4 years later I still have the same horse and she is fabulous!
How i got around this:-
1)I now use a martingale
2)Although I could ride her in a headcollar most of the time as she is a poppet, I do now use a pelham so that on hacks the curb chain can come into effect IF NEED BE - do any bitless bridles have the equivalent? The martingale is necessary or else the horse lifts its head and the curb chain has no effect. Or is there a bitless bridle that tightens and releases that would have a similar effect?
3)For months when I hacked I WALKED in the places I would normally canter or did lots of transitions perhaps WALK TROT a few strides of CANTER then back to WALK. The main thing to remember is that your horse must do what you ask and not control you. Basically you are schooling on a hack and I think it would be more useful to get the instructor to hack out with you as schooling in the manege is all well and good but having the instructor where the problem may arise would be far more useful!
4)When I want to stop from canter/gallop now I say WHOA before I apply pressure on the reins then totally release them then do it again. She now slows at the voice and the slightest pressure as the immediate release is her reward.
Anyway, chin up and I think you are very brave x[/QU

Very good advise
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If you use a martingale and pelham, make sure you only put the martingale on the snaffle rein. The pelham puts pressure on the poll so is supposed to bring the head down anyway. I see lots of people using both though
 
This is not what you want to hear and this may sound harsh e but sell/ get rid of this horse. You are good to no one in a wooden box. Oh and don't take this horse anywhere near a road until YOU are fully confident again. If you cause an accident then you may have to live with killing someone else... Not something I would want to live with ...
 
NOISYGIRL said:
So you were referring to the OP and not everyone who used double reins then ? it was quite a broad statement
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I was referring most obviously to the OP - as it is her and her horses that we were discussing...........

And my comment actually referred to the working it from the ground, rather than the double rein.
 
Honey08 said:
Good to hear you sounding less upset and more positive hun. Sounds as though you have a good plan - stick to it. Perhaps speak to a few different local instructors, and find one that you feel that you could relate to. A good instructor would happily have a chat on the phone about what your problems are and how they could possibly be solved. Once you've picked an instructor, give them a chance - it won't help if you keep swopping instructors every week or so.

This thread was a bit "painful" to read through. So much advice, most of it good, but very little understanding of how it feels when you're shaken, down and a bit defensive. I've been there when I was younger, and have taught many people who have too. You're not useless, and there is no reason why you won't get over this once you've had some help. Take your time - theres no rush (get yourself better too!).

As for your qualified instructor friend - I don't see why she wouldn't be able to come and have a look at you. I don't work with horses anymore, but still teach friends from time to time. Just because they're my friends doesn't mean I avoid telling them things that they may not like to hear. With them, as with any paying client, I try and help them in a way that they can relate to. Being aggressive towards someone who is nervous and upset does not help at all (as this thread has shown).
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Yes, definitely some people who have replied have been there, too. And taken the advice without getting defensive.

I agree, it is sometimes difficult to articulate a particular scenario, so there are two points to consider when making this kind of cry for help -

1 Put a sensible title

2 Read and re-read the wording of the post until it puts across the problem clearly and without ambiguity
 
right... i understand that you are upset and scared...but i think that you need to sit down and think rationally about it- if you read your posts on this thread you range from "i am getting an instructor" to "i am selling them both"... this shows that your feelings are still too high to think about things rationally for a while,

now my own opinion on this FWIW:
1. most horses do not bolt. bolting is very scary and often indicates something seriously wrong with a horse- if i had a bolter i would be getting the vet.
2. most horses have the ability to tank off however- this is where they are running off- either through excitement or fear- and the rider can't stop. my own eventer tanked off with me when i went to a farm ride the other week. l couldn't have stopped if you'd given me a million pounds. however, i thought it was great fun, was in a safe environment so let him gallop it of his system. it was not bolting.
3. i wouldn't ride anything but the MOST well mannered horse in a bitless bridle. i'm sorry, its not fair on other road users to go on the roads unless you are under control. i'd rather see someone riding quietly and in control with a bridle and draw reins than out of control in a bitless bridle
. my own opinion about groundwork is that its used by people who are scared to get on their horse. yes if you have a problem with a bargy horse you need to do groundwork but a horse that is rude when ridden needs to be ridden
get some help, i have regular lessons, and if i have a slight problem i ask my trainers what i should do. this prevents me ever getting to the stage where i "can't take anymore".
 
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