It hurts, human feelings, my horse and horsey people

Fame

Fame

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It just hurts today, had a good lesson today according to my instructor but all other liveries who watched my instructor riding my horse (who competes in intermediate dressage) and watched me are telling me my horse moves awful in canter!
Have in mind my horse is just in training since 6 month! Trains at elementary level atm which I find is very good for this amount of time.
We started to collect her in canter which she does really good but we still need to get all this uphill business under control, she is a friesian so naturally very uphill she takes everything very quickly, is never nasty always willing to do new things etc.
But people always moan, just have in mind their horses are mainly not ridden but they criticism my horse all the time!
It just hurts today as I felt today so good with her, I felt like on a rocking horse it just happened under me, I can't feel anything strange in a mainly collected canter it was just so so nice, love my girl so much she came a long way, 6 months ago she couldn't even canter in the school and now she is doing everything to please her rider is nice and balanced, not perfect I know that but for her ability we are on a very good way.
Just don't get why people always think their horse is the best, I never say that, fo me personally my horse is but not for anyone else.
I'm realistic,honest and have enough brain to decide where my horses abilities end.
While writing this post my pain goes over in being angry as the other liveries comments are just stupid as I think they never so a horse to collect (in training) properly so close to their eyes that they just feel it looks strange what the horse is doing.
Sorry for this but this comments today while my horse works so bloody hard everyday was just so upsetting and it hurts, it hurts in my heart.
I love you princess
 
What a gorgeous horse and loving the matching green on her, I would ignore the other liveries sounds like it is a bit of jealousy I always find people that never really ride there horses are the most critical, I thought the canter looked good she is lovely and forward and I think your doing a good job.
 
Take it with a pinch of salt. She's a trotting breed, her canter probably is a bit funny to look at to them, but it will improve and you'll have the last laugh.

I've got a welsh d with an absolutely horrendous trot (and she's a trotting breed!) and I don't give a stuff what anyone else thinks, I like her and ultimately that's all that matters.
 
I just visited your page in your signature and your girl is lovely. I am no expert by any means but the videos I watched I think she looks, and moves, beautifully x shun the haters x
 
Thank you all, just couldn't swallow it down today, it helps me to write things like that down, just to re think the situation etc.
My girl means the world to me, she works brilliantly and is just really an honest horse which would prefer to die under the rider if she can't please him!
That's why I'm so hurt from this words from this stupid people but again thank you so much I really appreciate your replies xxxx
 
Sometimes the problem is ignorance. People don't understand what they see, why they are seeing it and what the aim of what they are seeing is.

It is also easier to be confused together, as this gives more validity to what they don't understand or appreciate.

The bottom line is you were happy, and that is that. :)
 
One of the advantages of being older, is you've figured out how tell people to ******* off and mind their own business and not care what they think.

I so wish I had known that 20 years ago.
 
Well blow me.

I think she look wonderful as do you.
I'm jealous! - Just not jealous and nasty like others! ;)
Head up and keep going!
 
It does seem a bit harsh though maybe worth asking them why they thinks she moves awfully in canter, just saying something is bad is not very constructive feedback. How many liveries think she is not moving well in canter.

Do they think she looks unsound or is is just because she is young and green.
 
SO1 said:
It does seem a bit harsh though maybe worth asking them why they thinks she moves awfully in canter, just saying something is bad is not very constructive feedback. How many liveries think she is not moving well in canter.

Do they think she looks unsound or is is just because she is young and green.
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Not unsound, too much uphill on front, while collected in canter! Need to add their words while my horse did it "she looks if front and back doesn't look as the same horse!
 
NZJenny said:
One of the advantages of being older, is you've figured out how tell people to ******* off and mind their own business and not care what they think.

I so wish I had known that 20 years ago.
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Too true, I'm 34 old enough but it was just hurting tonight, specially after I felt like we had a break through xx
 
Illusion100 said:
Sometimes the problem is ignorance. People don't understand what they see, why they are seeing it and what the aim of what they are seeing is.

It is also easier to be confused together, as this gives more validity to what they don't understand or appreciate.

The bottom line is you were happy, and that is that. :)
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Yes I think you are right, specially she can't hold the collection yet for so long max one circle in canter it is in training so I think they mean my horse is picking it up in a sec, they don't really know how long it takes to train a horse properly.
 
How dare they! If you didn't invite them to watch and give opinion then tell them to gtf! You are not having lessons for their entertainment. That is so incredibly rude of them to pass comment, never mind being so mean!

I'd be fuming. Don't let people's opinion that you do not value put you down.

Next time if they start to hang around to watch I'd ask them " can I help you?" If they say " just watching " I'd say " alright, but do me a favour and keep your opinions to yourself this time " and see if they get the message.

I love the collected friesian rocking horse canter :D
 
Ignore them.

Friesians are big moving horses and canter isn't such a natural pace for them but it's amazing when it finally clicks and they 'get it' (I have 3 and love the canter even though one of mine still feels like she leaps into canter).

It may be that your lovely girl still hasn't found her balance 100% so it may not look the same to spectators as another horse but it's none of their business. She is trying her heart out for you, you are happy with her and she is making progress - that's all that matters.
 
If she was the ugliest, most badly schooled and terribly ridden horse on the planet WTF are these people to comment to you!"
It would be like someone being rude about my son...I would go mad.
If they are ignorant enough to share their unasked for opinion with you, if you don't want to row ask them if they are deliberately trying to hurt/offend you and when they say no ask them to please keep their opinions to themselves.
If you are happy, your horse is happy and your instructor is happy what more is there?
 
madlady said:
Ignore them.

Friesians are big moving horses and canter isn't such a natural pace for them but it's amazing when it finally clicks and they 'get it' (I have 3 and love the canter even though one of mine still feels like she leaps into canter).

It may be that your lovely girl still hasn't found her balance 100% so it may not look the same to spectators as another horse but it's none of their business. She is trying her heart out for you, you are happy with her and she is making progress - that's all that matters.
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Yes Fames leaps still sometimes depending on surface and mood lol but as we all we have ups and downs and I can live with that.

Big moving are the right words lol

Thank you for your nice words xxx
 
alainax said:
How dare they! If you didn't invite them to watch and give opinion then tell them to gtf! You are not having lessons for their entertainment. That is so incredibly rude of them to pass comment, never mind being so mean!

I'd be fuming. Don't let people's opinion that you do not value put you down.

Next time if they start to hang around to watch I'd ask them " can I help you?" If they say " just watching " I'd say " alright, but do me a favour and keep your opinions to yourself this time " and see if they get the message.

I love the collected friesian rocking horse canter :D
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As a friesian horse owner yourself I would absolutely take YOUR advise or comment etc of it if you would have seen me riding and my horse moving as you know friesians are differently ����

The thing is the school is booked for my instructor and me (as big yard) long in advance and always same day/time

And people just turn up regularly to my horses sessions so there are min. Always 2-3 people there who 'just watch' and leaving their unwanted comments

Sometimes I just ignore, I couldn't yesterday ��
 
Clodagh said:
If she was the ugliest, most badly schooled and terribly ridden horse on the planet WTF are these people to comment to you!"
It would be like someone being rude about my son...I would go mad.
If they are ignorant enough to share their unasked for opinion with you, if you don't want to row ask them if they are deliberately trying to hurt/offend you and when they say no ask them to please keep their opinions to themselves.
If you are happy, your horse is happy and your instructor is happy what more is there?
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Yes they do it deliberately unfortunately!
The livery yard politics are awful and trying to keep myself to myself is more then hard work.
But you are right horse happy, instructor happy, owner happy is the main thing xx
 
I think one of the skills of having a horse at livery is dealing with spiteful jealous other owners on the yard.
The main question to them has to be "well, let me see you do better on your horse then?" And IF they can, and only then, are any CONSTRUCTIVE comments they might make valid enough for you to take on board. A thicker skin than I have is what you need, and is the reason I would always avoid livery yards!!
 
The equine people who are quickest to criticise are those who know the least. Every time. Never yet found someone who could be bothered to pick apart a rider from the sidelines whom actually knew what they were talking about. Years ago I used to school and another livery would take it upon herself to pull us to pieces. It stopped when I lost it and told her I paid for professional advice that I asked for and she didn't qualify on either count....never heard a peep again.
 
JillA said:
I think one of the skills of having a horse at livery is dealing with spiteful jealous other owners on the yard.
The main question to them has to be "well, let me see you do better on your horse then?" And IF they can, and only then, are any CONSTRUCTIVE comments they might make valid enough for you to take on board. A thicker skin than I have is what you need, and is the reason I would always avoid livery yards!!
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I would if I could �� Avoiding a livery yard believe me
Their horses get ridden maybe once in a blue moon or don't
 
Luci07 said:
The equine people who are quickest to criticise are those who know the least. Every time. Never yet found someone who could be bothered to pick apart a rider from the sidelines whom actually knew what they were talking about. Years ago I used to school and another livery would take it upon herself to pull us to pieces. It stopped when I lost it and told her I paid for professional advice that I asked for and she didn't qualify on either count....never heard a peep again.
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Great stuff will try it next time ��
 
They know they are needling you. When they comment about the canter or whatever, just say that is why you are getting professional help and that your instructor says your horse is making good progress. I agree with what other people have said - fresians are carriage horses and cantering isn't what they are known for. I used to know a person with a flash looking Welsh D. Could trot for England but his canter work was a total disaster - like Bambi on ice!
 
Sounds like ignorance and/or jealousy to me! Of course she's going to be more front end than back end in canter at this stage that just her breed but once she's fully coming through from behind you will have the last laugh.
The things we have to deal with on livery yards.
 
Luci07 said:
The equine people who are quickest to criticise are those who know the least. Every time. Never yet found someone who could be bothered to pick apart a rider from the sidelines whom actually knew what they were talking about. Years ago I used to school and another livery would take it upon herself to pull us to pieces. It stopped when I lost it and told her I paid for professional advice that I asked for and she didn't qualify on either count....never heard a peep again.
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Ha ha! Nice one!
 
Its just sheer ignorance and jealousy...you should actually take it as a compliment! They clearly dont have a clue about dressage and dont understand the Friesian breed either; to someone who isnt familiar with the breed the canter does look funny as it doesnt come naturally to them, and with such an uphill breed they can look like 2 different horses with a huge uphill neck at the front end but the back end doesnt quite match!

But they are only commenting because they are jealous of your progress, jealous that you have the guts and determination to actually do some training and work towards a goal, jealous that your horse is training for movements they probably havent even heard of......if you are doing something to give them to talk about chances are you are actually doing quite well, they wouldnt bother commenting and bitching if they werent interested (and secretly impressed) with what you are doing.

Take it as a compliment that they are interested in what you are doing, be safe in your knowledge that you are doing the right thing for your horse and ignore the hurtful comments - their aim is to try and turn you into one of them, an armchair judge who would rather be mean about other people than actually get on their own horse and get to work.

Take the high road when they are mean to you, smile and say 'Lets have a chat about this when your horse is at elementary too then we can compare training methods for the collected canter'. Or you could say 'who is your dressage trainer? I'm always interested in broadening my knowledge and training with different people so if you have a recommendation I'd love to hear it'. I'm sure that will shut them up!

There will always be bitchy people on livery yards, it is just the nature of them - but as one of the other posters said, the ones who talk and bitch the most know the least. Rise above it and smile to yourself knowing they are just jealous petty little people who dont have a clue, and you are far superior in your knowledge so you shouldnt ever doubt yourself based on these idiots.
 
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