I've had my confidence seriously knocked :-(

[_jetset_]

[ QUOTE ]
_JetSet_, I've read most of this post, but not all. So I apologise if what I'm going to say has already been said.

To be perfectly honest, I don't think this has got anything to do with your outing the other day (well not in the overall picture anyway).
You said you were going out to have a run through before the Inter Regional competition next weekend. I actually think the reason you feel so bad is because you are worried that if you ride the same way then you will let the team down. YOU don't think YOU rode well enough and didn't get the best you could have done. So what, there's always another day. But I think this has affected you more because you are looking ahead.
You're worried now the same 'stage fright' will hit you next wknd. But maybe now it won't! Maybe you experiencing it will actually make you ride more positively next wknd.

Whatever happens, you were competitive even on a bad day, so take a chill pill girl!

x

[/ QUOTE ]

I think you have hit the nail on the head!

I am absolutely terrified that I will ride the way I did on saturday at the Inter Regionals and let a lot of people down because I just freeze when I get in the test! People see me as quite a confident person, and at our team building some seemed a bit surprised that I do suffer from nerves because I am really bubbly and outgoing. But I do get myself in a state about things (going to places where I don't know anyone is another issue... especially when I go visiting my husband if he is filming somewhere) and my riding is absolutely no exception.

I constantly criticise my riding ability because I know that I have a very long way to go before I have a stable position and have the correct aids... but I also try to keep positive about what I have achieved which helps me counteract that a little. However, on Saturday when I went out, the way the nerves just ran me over was really quite shocking as I have not felt like that for over 6 months. Yes, I have felt nervous about competing and worried, but not to the point where I just clammed up and couldn't think straight!

I hope you are right lfield, I hope now it has happened and I am aware of it again, it will help me to ride more positively at the weekend. My trainer is constantly telling me I need to ride every test more positively... but I do find this quite difficult. I have been going to some test riding clinics which I think have helped (up until the weekend that is) and even the trainer there said I need to learn to trust myself a bit more and have more confidence in us as a team. But riding through the tests in that fashion was certainly refreshing.

 

[Halfstep]

Becki, I do think you need to take the advice you've been given seriously, and I say this because I like you!

Stop thinking so much.
Stop analysing everything.
Or as my trainer loves to say

"don't think about riding, just shut up and ride!"

.

xx

 

[_jetset_]

Thanks Halfstep... perhaps I need your trainer to come and knock me into shape!

I do think too much, I do over analyse... ha ha, I think that should be written on my gravestone:

Here lieth one who spent her life over analysing and over thinking!
RIP

 

[TGM]

[ QUOTE ]
Becki, I do think you need to take the advice you've been given seriously, and I say this because I like you!

Stop thinking so much.
Stop analysing everything.
Or as my trainer loves to say

"don't think about riding, just shut up and ride!"

.

xx

[/ QUOTE ]

I was going to do a long post, but don't need to now - think your post has summed it up perfectly!

 

[alleycat]

I'm going to sneak the last word (I think) and say how much I've enjoyed this thread! Pigs will fly before I ever submit my riding to public scrutiny in the dressage arena, but I can really see where JetSet is coming from; I can see so much of me in the self examination & the freezing up and the feeling of having let myself down & so on; in my life, in my riding, in my work. For example, I'm about to start new job and I'm a bit uneasy about how well I'll do- and this has actually helped me.

All credit to JetSet- she really didn't get an easy ride from some people here at first; she handled it like a pro- just as she will her next competition.