Halfpass
Well-Known Member
But like I said looking at your scores they are all relative. I bet the person that came first usually gets late 60's too. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I've had my confidence seriously knocked :-(
- Thread starter _jetset_
- Start date
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
I opened this thinking that you had had a nasty accident or something, not just a less than 100% perfect day out competing.
I suggest you follow Baydale's posts or look at Rosie's amazing recovery from a nightmare situation... or just open your eyes a little in general and see that everyone is going through their own sh*t.
Get some perspective.
[/ QUOTE ]
I really am shocked about this post!
I have much admiration for both Baydale and Rosie, I think they are incredibly strong willed and strong minded women to have achieved what they have after such serious accidents.
I never intended to come across as someone who felt they had been hard done by or compare my lack of confidence to what they have been through... OK, I have not had an injury from a nasty fall, but I thought people may be able to help me with problems I personally have with my self confidence when riding.
Perspective is something I most definitely do have... I have been through an awful lot in the last year, so I have had it ground into every crack of me. But surely I am allowed to have wobbly moments where my confidence has been knocked for something less drastic than an accident???
I opened this thinking that you had had a nasty accident or something, not just a less than 100% perfect day out competing.
I suggest you follow Baydale's posts or look at Rosie's amazing recovery from a nightmare situation... or just open your eyes a little in general and see that everyone is going through their own sh*t.
Get some perspective.
[/ QUOTE ]
I really am shocked about this post!
I have much admiration for both Baydale and Rosie, I think they are incredibly strong willed and strong minded women to have achieved what they have after such serious accidents.
I never intended to come across as someone who felt they had been hard done by or compare my lack of confidence to what they have been through... OK, I have not had an injury from a nasty fall, but I thought people may be able to help me with problems I personally have with my self confidence when riding.
Perspective is something I most definitely do have... I have been through an awful lot in the last year, so I have had it ground into every crack of me. But surely I am allowed to have wobbly moments where my confidence has been knocked for something less drastic than an accident???
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
DEFFO go find a sports psyc to help sort you out, that is my advice!
[/ QUOTE ]
Do you know anyone who has used one?
I wasn't sure whether there was an accredited scheme for them???
DEFFO go find a sports psyc to help sort you out, that is my advice!
[/ QUOTE ]
Do you know anyone who has used one?
I wasn't sure whether there was an accredited scheme for them???
X
xspiralx
Guest
I agree wholeheartedly with the majority of the posts on this thread.
The problem is not the horse, or even your riding, but your attitude. You need to get a grip and start looking for the silver lining instead of constantly feeling sorry for yourself. You might have had a bit of an off day, but yet you still managed to get a very good mark and get placed, even though you were riding under a judge that tends to mark you harshly. That is something to be pleased about.
The problem is not the horse, or even your riding, but your attitude. You need to get a grip and start looking for the silver lining instead of constantly feeling sorry for yourself. You might have had a bit of an off day, but yet you still managed to get a very good mark and get placed, even though you were riding under a judge that tends to mark you harshly. That is something to be pleased about.
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
But like I said looking at your scores they are all relative. I bet the person that came first usually gets late 60's too. Don't be so hard on yourself.
[/ QUOTE ]
The scores are not my major concern... it is more how I reacted and rode yesterday
The confidence that has been knocked is mine in my ability as a rider. I know she can do it, last week was a confirmation of that.
I put about last week to try and express how she is capable and we can do it, not for the scores, but how I came out of the test feeling and how I felt when riding the test. I guess I have made it sound a little 'results' based confidence knock, but it is more how I rode on the day more than anything else that has knocked my confidence.
But like I said looking at your scores they are all relative. I bet the person that came first usually gets late 60's too. Don't be so hard on yourself.
[/ QUOTE ]
The scores are not my major concern... it is more how I reacted and rode yesterday
I put about last week to try and express how she is capable and we can do it, not for the scores, but how I came out of the test feeling and how I felt when riding the test. I guess I have made it sound a little 'results' based confidence knock, but it is more how I rode on the day more than anything else that has knocked my confidence.
Weezy
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Do you know anyone who has used one?
I wasn't sure whether there was an accredited scheme for them???
[/ QUOTE ]
Yep, for motor racing, but they do the same job! I would contact BD and ask if they can recommend one in your area. If you have old H&Hs there were contact details during those series on up and coming riders earlier this year, and last.
Do you know anyone who has used one?
I wasn't sure whether there was an accredited scheme for them???
[/ QUOTE ]
Yep, for motor racing, but they do the same job! I would contact BD and ask if they can recommend one in your area. If you have old H&Hs there were contact details during those series on up and coming riders earlier this year, and last.
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
I agree wholeheartedly with the majority of the posts on this thread.
The problem is not the horse, or even your riding, but your attitude. You need to get a grip and start looking for the silver lining instead of constantly feeling sorry for yourself. You might have had a bit of an off day, but yet you still managed to get a very good mark and get placed, even though you were riding under a judge that tends to mark you harshly. That is something to be pleased about.
[/ QUOTE ]
I don't feel sorry for myself... I feel bloody furious with myself!
And just to clarify, I have not actually ridden under this judge for a considerable amount of time... it is not the marks I am having an issue with. Although I was a bit miffed she got a 6 for her paces (and that is probably the best way to decribe it rather than annoyed or hard done by), the mark on the day could not have mattered less. It was how I just went to pot
I agree wholeheartedly with the majority of the posts on this thread.
The problem is not the horse, or even your riding, but your attitude. You need to get a grip and start looking for the silver lining instead of constantly feeling sorry for yourself. You might have had a bit of an off day, but yet you still managed to get a very good mark and get placed, even though you were riding under a judge that tends to mark you harshly. That is something to be pleased about.
[/ QUOTE ]
I don't feel sorry for myself... I feel bloody furious with myself!
And just to clarify, I have not actually ridden under this judge for a considerable amount of time... it is not the marks I am having an issue with. Although I was a bit miffed she got a 6 for her paces (and that is probably the best way to decribe it rather than annoyed or hard done by), the mark on the day could not have mattered less. It was how I just went to pot
Scarlett
Well-Known Member
I don't know why anyone on here has actually bothered to take the time and effort to write you a reply when all you will do is post excuses.
You DO sound like a moaning, groaning, ungrateful bugger. Every post you put up is going on about something being wrong. Your moaning about being second with 65%...! Do you realise how stupid you seem? It's only PRELIM ffs, thats all. Its not the sodding Olympics.
You need to grow up, take the advice you have been given on this thread and not just post up yet MORE excuses as too why you are moaning and get on with it.
Grace DOES NOT CARE about competing or being let down FFS! She is just a horse, she cares about being a horse and nothing else. You create all these problems yourself and I have no sympathy for you!
You will never succeed in horses with an attitude like yours.
Too many folk on here have spent too long patting you on the back and telling you its ok and I'm sorry but I can't listen to it any more.
You DO sound like a moaning, groaning, ungrateful bugger. Every post you put up is going on about something being wrong. Your moaning about being second with 65%...! Do you realise how stupid you seem? It's only PRELIM ffs, thats all. Its not the sodding Olympics.
You need to grow up, take the advice you have been given on this thread and not just post up yet MORE excuses as too why you are moaning and get on with it.
Grace DOES NOT CARE about competing or being let down FFS! She is just a horse, she cares about being a horse and nothing else. You create all these problems yourself and I have no sympathy for you!
You will never succeed in horses with an attitude like yours.
Too many folk on here have spent too long patting you on the back and telling you its ok and I'm sorry but I can't listen to it any more.
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do you know anyone who has used one?
I wasn't sure whether there was an accredited scheme for them???
[/ QUOTE ]
Yep, for motor racing, but they do the same job! I would contact BD and ask if they can recommend one in your area. If you have old H&Hs there were contact details during those series on up and coming riders earlier this year, and last.
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks Weezy... I don't suppose you have the old copies? I let my subscription slide for 9 months due to not being able to afford it, so actually missed out on the whole series
And I think it would have been bloody useful for me!
If you do have the copies, would you mind posting me the contact details I could try (if there is a central body... )?
[ QUOTE ]
Do you know anyone who has used one?
I wasn't sure whether there was an accredited scheme for them???
[/ QUOTE ]
Yep, for motor racing, but they do the same job! I would contact BD and ask if they can recommend one in your area. If you have old H&Hs there were contact details during those series on up and coming riders earlier this year, and last.
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks Weezy... I don't suppose you have the old copies? I let my subscription slide for 9 months due to not being able to afford it, so actually missed out on the whole series
If you do have the copies, would you mind posting me the contact details I could try (if there is a central body... )?
X
xspiralx
Guest
Well regardless, that is my advice for improving your self confidence. Look for the silver lining, instead of wallowing in everything negative and beating yourself up over it - that will only perpetuate the vicious cycle of self blame.
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Well regardless, that is my advice for improving your self confidence. Look for the silver lining, instead of wallowing in everything negative and beating yourself up over it - that will only perpetuate the vicious cycle of self blame.
[/ QUOTE ]
I guess if it hadn't happened the way it did yesterday I wouldn't have made a decision to sort the confidence issue out... can I class that as a silver lining?
Well regardless, that is my advice for improving your self confidence. Look for the silver lining, instead of wallowing in everything negative and beating yourself up over it - that will only perpetuate the vicious cycle of self blame.
[/ QUOTE ]
I guess if it hadn't happened the way it did yesterday I wouldn't have made a decision to sort the confidence issue out... can I class that as a silver lining?
Halfpass
Well-Known Member
I think you are confusing a confidence knock with just being pee'd off with how you rode.
People out there (me being one) who do have serious confidence issues with some aspects of riding will not be able to see where you are coming from in this post.
Having your confidence knocked can come from many things not from a judge that gives you 65%!!!!!
People out there (me being one) who do have serious confidence issues with some aspects of riding will not be able to see where you are coming from in this post.
Having your confidence knocked can come from many things not from a judge that gives you 65%!!!!!
SAMgirl
Well-Known Member
Hi Becki,
Glad to hear Grace was a good girl!
I think that EVERYONE has days like you describe - not just related to horses - in their everyday life - at work etc. If you had a bad day at work you would not chastise yourself, you would think that perhaps you have been a bit of a numpty on that occassion but you'd turn up for work the next day, hopefully learning from your mistake.
Look at it this way - in a positive way! - you have got Grace going so well, to the point where you can afford to have a bit of an off day and she will still do very well for you! You have to see yourself very much as a team, there has probably been times where you have rode great but SHE's been a madam and let the side down - do you chastise her the same way you do yourself? I doubt it
If a sports coach will help you, go for it NOW, because what are you gonna be like when you have all the movements in a medium to remeber on her graciousness!! lol
Glad to hear Grace was a good girl!
I think that EVERYONE has days like you describe - not just related to horses - in their everyday life - at work etc. If you had a bad day at work you would not chastise yourself, you would think that perhaps you have been a bit of a numpty on that occassion but you'd turn up for work the next day, hopefully learning from your mistake.
Look at it this way - in a positive way! - you have got Grace going so well, to the point where you can afford to have a bit of an off day and she will still do very well for you! You have to see yourself very much as a team, there has probably been times where you have rode great but SHE's been a madam and let the side down - do you chastise her the same way you do yourself? I doubt it
If a sports coach will help you, go for it NOW, because what are you gonna be like when you have all the movements in a medium to remeber on her graciousness!! lol
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
I don't know why anyone on here has actually bothered to take the time and effort to write you a reply when all you will do is post excuses.
You DO sound like a moaning, groaning, ungrateful bugger. Every post you put up is going on about something being wrong. Your moaning about being second with 65%...! Do you realise how stupid you seem? It's only PRELIM ffs, thats all. Its not the sodding Olympics.
You need to grow up, take the advice you have been given on this thread and not just post up yet MORE excuses as too why you are moaning and get on with it.
Grace DOES NOT CARE about competing or being let down FFS! She is just a horse, she cares about being a horse and nothing else. You create all these problems yourself and I have no sympathy for you!
You will never succeed in horses with an attitude like yours.
Too many folk on here have spent too long patting you on the back and telling you its ok and I'm sorry but I can't listen to it any more.
[/ QUOTE ]
It might only be Prelim to you, but it is something that is important to me so I don't care what level it is I compete, I want to get it right regardless.
Again, I am not complaining about 65%, I think that is a good mark full stop! I have had marks much lower and been happy with them because I consider anything in the 60s a 'good' result. After all, through the scales of training a 6 for every movement is 'satisfactory'.
I have not posted any excuses and I have taken the advice on board as I do everytime I ask for it. I may not act on every piece of advice, but if we all did that we would be a muddled mess.
And I do not expect to be 'patted on the back'. There are very few people on here that actually know me in person, I come on here for advice and assistance from people far more experienced than I am. There are people on here who have been involved in 'competing' and horses for far longer than I have and I respect their views and opinions.
Apologies if you are not happy with me posting on this site, but I find it gives me some excellent answers to problems I have come across. It was an absolute godsend to me last year with everything I went through with mare, so will be eternally grateful for that.
I don't know why anyone on here has actually bothered to take the time and effort to write you a reply when all you will do is post excuses.
You DO sound like a moaning, groaning, ungrateful bugger. Every post you put up is going on about something being wrong. Your moaning about being second with 65%...! Do you realise how stupid you seem? It's only PRELIM ffs, thats all. Its not the sodding Olympics.
You need to grow up, take the advice you have been given on this thread and not just post up yet MORE excuses as too why you are moaning and get on with it.
Grace DOES NOT CARE about competing or being let down FFS! She is just a horse, she cares about being a horse and nothing else. You create all these problems yourself and I have no sympathy for you!
You will never succeed in horses with an attitude like yours.
Too many folk on here have spent too long patting you on the back and telling you its ok and I'm sorry but I can't listen to it any more.
[/ QUOTE ]
It might only be Prelim to you, but it is something that is important to me so I don't care what level it is I compete, I want to get it right regardless.
Again, I am not complaining about 65%, I think that is a good mark full stop! I have had marks much lower and been happy with them because I consider anything in the 60s a 'good' result. After all, through the scales of training a 6 for every movement is 'satisfactory'.
I have not posted any excuses and I have taken the advice on board as I do everytime I ask for it. I may not act on every piece of advice, but if we all did that we would be a muddled mess.
And I do not expect to be 'patted on the back'. There are very few people on here that actually know me in person, I come on here for advice and assistance from people far more experienced than I am. There are people on here who have been involved in 'competing' and horses for far longer than I have and I respect their views and opinions.
Apologies if you are not happy with me posting on this site, but I find it gives me some excellent answers to problems I have come across. It was an absolute godsend to me last year with everything I went through with mare, so will be eternally grateful for that.
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
I think you are confusing a confidence knock with just being pee'd off with how you rode.
People out there (me being one) who do have serious confidence issues with some aspects of riding will not be able to see where you are coming from in this post.
Having your confidence knocked can come from many things not from a judge that gives you 65%!!!!!
[/ QUOTE ]
I will try to explain a little better, perhaps I should have done that in the beginning.
A little while I ago, I came away from competing all together because I was an absolute nervous wreck before the competition, up to a day before. I would get so worked up about it, I would be physically sick and I came to the conclusion that it simply was not worth it
I took about three or four months out (ok, I did go to one in that period with Grace because I wanted to test the water so to speak) and concentrated on training, taking her out to places and just getting things right with her.
I started competing her again in January 2009 at Aintree and was really pleased with how my nerves stayed in check. So I booked in for a few more and they went quite well. I had a few bad competitions where I had to retire because she was being so horrendous in the test, but I still felt positive about the whole thing and could see how I needed to work her to avoid it. I have been increasingly more confident out competing, and I genuinely do feel I have made progress. I am no longer sick the night before I go out (although I can't eat the morning of a competition because I tummy is just spinning), but I do feel I have improved and I even look forwards to it more now. Once I am there, I do genuinely love being out, especially if I have two tests to do, because although I am dead nervous for the first one, I feel much more confident about the second one and come away remembering that feeling.
It was this judge who originally put the doubt in my mind about my riding ability, I won't go into it much, but that is why I was in such a state about riding yesterday. And I think because I made such a bloody hash of things, it is what has made me start worrying about the effect it will have for next weekend. I am already starting to get that spinny feeling in my tummy when I think of it...
Does this make any sense at all???
My trainer acknowledges this confidence issue when I am out competing, she has seen it in action
She says I lack the belief in my riding abilities and what I am asking when I get in that situation...
I take Rescue Remedy before each competition (it is an absolute essential in my competition bag and stays there permanently) but it definitely didn't do its job yesterday
I think you are confusing a confidence knock with just being pee'd off with how you rode.
People out there (me being one) who do have serious confidence issues with some aspects of riding will not be able to see where you are coming from in this post.
Having your confidence knocked can come from many things not from a judge that gives you 65%!!!!!
[/ QUOTE ]
I will try to explain a little better, perhaps I should have done that in the beginning.
A little while I ago, I came away from competing all together because I was an absolute nervous wreck before the competition, up to a day before. I would get so worked up about it, I would be physically sick and I came to the conclusion that it simply was not worth it
I started competing her again in January 2009 at Aintree and was really pleased with how my nerves stayed in check. So I booked in for a few more and they went quite well. I had a few bad competitions where I had to retire because she was being so horrendous in the test, but I still felt positive about the whole thing and could see how I needed to work her to avoid it. I have been increasingly more confident out competing, and I genuinely do feel I have made progress. I am no longer sick the night before I go out (although I can't eat the morning of a competition because I tummy is just spinning), but I do feel I have improved and I even look forwards to it more now. Once I am there, I do genuinely love being out, especially if I have two tests to do, because although I am dead nervous for the first one, I feel much more confident about the second one and come away remembering that feeling.
It was this judge who originally put the doubt in my mind about my riding ability, I won't go into it much, but that is why I was in such a state about riding yesterday. And I think because I made such a bloody hash of things, it is what has made me start worrying about the effect it will have for next weekend. I am already starting to get that spinny feeling in my tummy when I think of it...
Does this make any sense at all???
My trainer acknowledges this confidence issue when I am out competing, she has seen it in action
I take Rescue Remedy before each competition (it is an absolute essential in my competition bag and stays there permanently) but it definitely didn't do its job yesterday
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Hi Becki,
Glad to hear Grace was a good girl!
I think that EVERYONE has days like you describe - not just related to horses - in their everyday life - at work etc. If you had a bad day at work you would not chastise yourself, you would think that perhaps you have been a bit of a numpty on that occassion but you'd turn up for work the next day, hopefully learning from your mistake.
Look at it this way - in a positive way! - you have got Grace going so well, to the point where you can afford to have a bit of an off day and she will still do very well for you! You have to see yourself very much as a team, there has probably been times where you have rode great but SHE's been a madam and let the side down - do you chastise her the same way you do yourself? I doubt it
If a sports coach will help you, go for it NOW, because what are you gonna be like when you have all the movements in a medium to remeber on her graciousness!! lol
[/ QUOTE ]
I have never really thought of it like that... I have never held it against her when she has made a complete cock up of things, and there have been many cases. I am just the sort of person that when I do something I want it to be to the best of my ability. Yesterday I let myself down a lot, I really did. But what makes it worse is that although I know what the trigger was, I still don't know why I just switched off.
I was so proud of Grace for doing as well as she did... even my Dad who knows nothing about horses asked me why I looked so stiff and unco-ordinated. I genuinely forgot how to ride her
The really strange thing is that this never ever happens on Hannah! I always feel quite together on her, although god knows what we'll be like at Medium
But that is the difference, I am really excited about taking her out to her first Medium test in June!
Hi Becki,
Glad to hear Grace was a good girl!
I think that EVERYONE has days like you describe - not just related to horses - in their everyday life - at work etc. If you had a bad day at work you would not chastise yourself, you would think that perhaps you have been a bit of a numpty on that occassion but you'd turn up for work the next day, hopefully learning from your mistake.
Look at it this way - in a positive way! - you have got Grace going so well, to the point where you can afford to have a bit of an off day and she will still do very well for you! You have to see yourself very much as a team, there has probably been times where you have rode great but SHE's been a madam and let the side down - do you chastise her the same way you do yourself? I doubt it
If a sports coach will help you, go for it NOW, because what are you gonna be like when you have all the movements in a medium to remeber on her graciousness!! lol
[/ QUOTE ]
I have never really thought of it like that... I have never held it against her when she has made a complete cock up of things, and there have been many cases. I am just the sort of person that when I do something I want it to be to the best of my ability. Yesterday I let myself down a lot, I really did. But what makes it worse is that although I know what the trigger was, I still don't know why I just switched off.
I was so proud of Grace for doing as well as she did... even my Dad who knows nothing about horses asked me why I looked so stiff and unco-ordinated. I genuinely forgot how to ride her
The really strange thing is that this never ever happens on Hannah! I always feel quite together on her, although god knows what we'll be like at Medium
Scarlett
Well-Known Member
<sigh>
You still don't get it, do you? Re-read what you write and think about how someone who isn't you and isn't involved reads it. You ARE moaning about it, your always moaning!
It's all fine and well to want to 'get it right' at any level but for Gods sake woman get some perspective! You didn't have a good day, well thats horses for you. You had already set yourself up for a bad day with your post about the Judge on Fri. You were given lots of advice on that thread to try and help you get over it and yet we still get this thread now going on about how bad it was. Seriously if you couldn't see that coming then I really don't know where you were looking.
You need help. Take the advice and get hold of a decent sports coach who can get right down to the bottom of all your issues - might take them a while - and put a lid on the competing for a while while you get yourself sorted as the issues you have seem to be in your training too going from what you post up.
Your only making a fool of yourself in these posts, and face it, no one wants to be the one who gets laughed at, right?
(P.S - I'd love you too prove me wrong, believe me I would, I've been where you are but it's not difficult to fix it, you just need to want to do it, and you never seem like you do.)
You still don't get it, do you? Re-read what you write and think about how someone who isn't you and isn't involved reads it. You ARE moaning about it, your always moaning!
It's all fine and well to want to 'get it right' at any level but for Gods sake woman get some perspective! You didn't have a good day, well thats horses for you. You had already set yourself up for a bad day with your post about the Judge on Fri. You were given lots of advice on that thread to try and help you get over it and yet we still get this thread now going on about how bad it was. Seriously if you couldn't see that coming then I really don't know where you were looking.
You need help. Take the advice and get hold of a decent sports coach who can get right down to the bottom of all your issues - might take them a while - and put a lid on the competing for a while while you get yourself sorted as the issues you have seem to be in your training too going from what you post up.
Your only making a fool of yourself in these posts, and face it, no one wants to be the one who gets laughed at, right?
(P.S - I'd love you too prove me wrong, believe me I would, I've been where you are but it's not difficult to fix it, you just need to want to do it, and you never seem like you do.)
catembi
Well-Known Member
I still don't understand how anyone can get *that* nervous about dr, unless they're on a complete lunatic?
All it is, is walk-trot-canter in a pattern on the flat. Even if you do the whole thing in buck/canter (voice of experience...) you still come out of it alive, if a bit
, & then you do a funny post about how you were doing airs above the ground. It's not as if you're going round Badminton xc where there is a serious chance of doing yourself a mischief.
I very much want to do well with my horse, but if it all goes horribly wrong, once I've finished moping, I think f it, there's always next week.
If you're not eating on the day of the comp, go to the supermarket & stock up on sports drinks, otherwise your brain will run out of fuel & you'll be likely to forget the test or course.
I very much want to do well with my horse, but if it all goes horribly wrong, once I've finished moping, I think f it, there's always next week.
If you're not eating on the day of the comp, go to the supermarket & stock up on sports drinks, otherwise your brain will run out of fuel & you'll be likely to forget the test or course.
Bounty
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I opened this thinking that you had had a nasty accident or something, not just a less than 100% perfect day out competing.
I suggest you follow Baydale's posts or look at Rosie's amazing recovery from a nightmare situation... or just open your eyes a little in general and see that everyone is going through their own sh*t.
Get some perspective.
[/ QUOTE ]
I really am shocked about this post!
I have much admiration for both Baydale and Rosie, I think they are incredibly strong willed and strong minded women to have achieved what they have after such serious accidents.
I never intended to come across as someone who felt they had been hard done by or compare my lack of confidence to what they have been through... OK, I have not had an injury from a nasty fall, but I thought people may be able to help me with problems I personally have with my self confidence when riding.
Perspective is something I most definitely do have... I have been through an awful lot in the last year, so I have had it ground into every crack of me. But surely I am allowed to have wobbly moments where my confidence has been knocked for something less drastic than an accident???
[/ QUOTE ]
I am glad that you are shocked about my post - but more fool me for reading that and thinking that perhaps you would go on to re-read everything you have written through a fresh pair of eyes and perhaps see what I am on about, but no, then you revert exactly back to type and start again with the excuses. 'You've had it tough.... etc etc etc'.
Guess what flower, we've all had it tough. I could use this as an excuse to reel out my last 18months for you, but I won't, because I've got more self respect than to whine about it all at every opportunity
[ QUOTE ]
I opened this thinking that you had had a nasty accident or something, not just a less than 100% perfect day out competing.
I suggest you follow Baydale's posts or look at Rosie's amazing recovery from a nightmare situation... or just open your eyes a little in general and see that everyone is going through their own sh*t.
Get some perspective.
[/ QUOTE ]
I really am shocked about this post!
I have much admiration for both Baydale and Rosie, I think they are incredibly strong willed and strong minded women to have achieved what they have after such serious accidents.
I never intended to come across as someone who felt they had been hard done by or compare my lack of confidence to what they have been through... OK, I have not had an injury from a nasty fall, but I thought people may be able to help me with problems I personally have with my self confidence when riding.
Perspective is something I most definitely do have... I have been through an awful lot in the last year, so I have had it ground into every crack of me. But surely I am allowed to have wobbly moments where my confidence has been knocked for something less drastic than an accident???
[/ QUOTE ]
I am glad that you are shocked about my post - but more fool me for reading that and thinking that perhaps you would go on to re-read everything you have written through a fresh pair of eyes and perhaps see what I am on about, but no, then you revert exactly back to type and start again with the excuses. 'You've had it tough.... etc etc etc'.
Guess what flower, we've all had it tough. I could use this as an excuse to reel out my last 18months for you, but I won't, because I've got more self respect than to whine about it all at every opportunity
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
I still don't understand how anyone can get *that* nervous about dr, unless they're on a complete lunatic?
All it is, is walk-trot-canter in a pattern on the flat. Even if you do the whole thing in buck/canter (voice of experience...) you still come out of it alive, if a bit
, & then you do a funny post about how you were doing airs above the ground. It's not as if you're going round Badminton xc where there is a serious chance of doing yourself a mischief.
I very much want to do well with my horse, but if it all goes horribly wrong, once I've finished moping, I think f it, there's always next week.
If you're not eating on the day of the comp, go to the supermarket & stock up on sports drinks, otherwise your brain will run out of fuel & you'll be likely to forget the test or course.
[/ QUOTE ]
Ha ha... I had to laugh at your post because you are so bloody right. This is something I ask myself over and over again; how can I get so worked up about something I do at home every single day!
I can only ever eat after I have done the tests, I am just too jittery before hand. So yes, I do need something to keep everything thinking. In the past I have even tried having a Slim Fast just to get something in, but having chucked that up I can never ever have Slim Fast again (I will never forget that taste
).
Sports drinks are a good idea... will buy a pile from Tesco tomorrow as this weekend is going to be a very jittery weekend, especially after yesterday going wrong twice. That has shaken my nerves a bit too, but I think that was more down to the fact I was in a state beforehand.
Can you imagine if I had to do a tricky cross country course??? I would be a dribbling wreck if I can't even cope doing a Prelim dressage test
I still don't understand how anyone can get *that* nervous about dr, unless they're on a complete lunatic?
I very much want to do well with my horse, but if it all goes horribly wrong, once I've finished moping, I think f it, there's always next week.
If you're not eating on the day of the comp, go to the supermarket & stock up on sports drinks, otherwise your brain will run out of fuel & you'll be likely to forget the test or course.
[/ QUOTE ]
Ha ha... I had to laugh at your post because you are so bloody right. This is something I ask myself over and over again; how can I get so worked up about something I do at home every single day!
I can only ever eat after I have done the tests, I am just too jittery before hand. So yes, I do need something to keep everything thinking. In the past I have even tried having a Slim Fast just to get something in, but having chucked that up I can never ever have Slim Fast again (I will never forget that taste
Sports drinks are a good idea... will buy a pile from Tesco tomorrow as this weekend is going to be a very jittery weekend, especially after yesterday going wrong twice. That has shaken my nerves a bit too, but I think that was more down to the fact I was in a state beforehand.
Can you imagine if I had to do a tricky cross country course??? I would be a dribbling wreck if I can't even cope doing a Prelim dressage test
SpottedCat
Well-Known Member
Becky, this is the website through which you can contact Nikki Heath, who is the sports psychologist who helped Pippa Funnell - I don't think a better recommendation than this exists.
http://www.soeacademy.com/Default.aspx
You do seem a bit 'bipolar' (for want of a better description) about your horses - it's either the end of the world for no obvious reason or you are on an absolute high from trotting a circle or something equally banal. Sometimes it is just an average day in which nothing spectacular happens but nothing much goes wrong either, we all have them and it sounds like this was one of yours.
I think you do need some help dealing with your mentality towards all of this - TFT may also be very helpful, Jo Cooper is very patient.
http://www.soeacademy.com/Default.aspx
You do seem a bit 'bipolar' (for want of a better description) about your horses - it's either the end of the world for no obvious reason or you are on an absolute high from trotting a circle or something equally banal. Sometimes it is just an average day in which nothing spectacular happens but nothing much goes wrong either, we all have them and it sounds like this was one of yours.
I think you do need some help dealing with your mentality towards all of this - TFT may also be very helpful, Jo Cooper is very patient.
Halfstep
Well-Known Member
I have to say, when I ride like a numpty and freeze in the ring (it happens to us all) I get something in the 50s, not mid 60s! And it happened to me last week in my Elementary non -qualifier. I rode like a tosspot. But I gave myself a good talking to, and rode better in the qualifier.
That is all you can do. There is no magic potion. Just ride better next time and stop analysing it. Thinking too much is the worst enemy of good riding, this is something I've only recently come to learn.
Like me you've had a lot of bad luck with injuries. When I have a crap day competing I hold on to the fact that the horse is sound, healthy and actually able to do a dressage test! This puts it into perspective for me.
That is all you can do. There is no magic potion. Just ride better next time and stop analysing it. Thinking too much is the worst enemy of good riding, this is something I've only recently come to learn.
Like me you've had a lot of bad luck with injuries. When I have a crap day competing I hold on to the fact that the horse is sound, healthy and actually able to do a dressage test! This puts it into perspective for me.
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
Thanks SpottedCat... I probably only post when something has gone so well I am going to burst if I don't tell someone (hubby couldn't really care less) or I am getting my knickers in a twist because something has gone quite wrong
I have just emailed someone that Weezy has suggested for a recommendation, so will also send a quick one to Nikki too! As I said to Weezy, I feel quite foolish about talking to them when I am only an amateur competing at Prelim and Novice, but I also know that my uncertainty in myself is what is holding us back to. Grace is ready to move on and move up, but I am not just yet.
I have just emailed someone that Weezy has suggested for a recommendation, so will also send a quick one to Nikki too! As I said to Weezy, I feel quite foolish about talking to them when I am only an amateur competing at Prelim and Novice, but I also know that my uncertainty in myself is what is holding us back to. Grace is ready to move on and move up, but I am not just yet.
red marksman
Well-Known Member
Becki its Jen now btw not mum...
im sorry but you do sound like your moaning. i dont think prelim is enough to occupy your mind you need to start doing novices on Grace. and as for worrying about a judge maybe you shouldnt have gone if your going to get so worked up about that particular judge, (who did give you a good mark and placed you second!)
dressage IS subjective but youve chosen to compete in that disapline and so what if she got a six for paces next time youll be back with 7s or 8s, we all get disappointing scores but i wouldnt dwell on one tiny detail.
you are soooo lucky to be able to have regular lessons with two top "trainers" or instructors all the support you could ever want is there, so now its about trying to relax and maybe a sports therapist is the way forward because you cant have your mind hold you back.
Can you have tests read for you at BD because maybe next time have it read and then thats less to worry about, if theres a penalty as there is at pony club area of 2 pens then still do it as the rest of your marks may improve for it. or compete HC if necessary. OR do some unaffilated just a couple where your results arent going to be remembered or dont matter in the long run. Just take Grace to Church Farm or myerscough and do a couple of confident prelim/ novice tests where you can get yourselves together because there is completely no pressure!
anyway you'll get it sorted just stop overanalysing everything because you are your own worst enemy!
=) x
im sorry but you do sound like your moaning. i dont think prelim is enough to occupy your mind you need to start doing novices on Grace. and as for worrying about a judge maybe you shouldnt have gone if your going to get so worked up about that particular judge, (who did give you a good mark and placed you second!)
dressage IS subjective but youve chosen to compete in that disapline and so what if she got a six for paces next time youll be back with 7s or 8s, we all get disappointing scores but i wouldnt dwell on one tiny detail.
you are soooo lucky to be able to have regular lessons with two top "trainers" or instructors all the support you could ever want is there, so now its about trying to relax and maybe a sports therapist is the way forward because you cant have your mind hold you back.
Can you have tests read for you at BD because maybe next time have it read and then thats less to worry about, if theres a penalty as there is at pony club area of 2 pens then still do it as the rest of your marks may improve for it. or compete HC if necessary. OR do some unaffilated just a couple where your results arent going to be remembered or dont matter in the long run. Just take Grace to Church Farm or myerscough and do a couple of confident prelim/ novice tests where you can get yourselves together because there is completely no pressure!
anyway you'll get it sorted just stop overanalysing everything because you are your own worst enemy!
=) x
SpottedCat
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Like me you've had a lot of bad luck with injuries. When I have a crap day competing I hold on to the fact that the horse is sound, healthy and actually able to do a dressage test! This puts it into perspective for me.
[/ QUOTE ]
It's funny you should say that - I get so so frustrated with myself for not riding nearly well enough and consistently coming 20th or thereabouts out novice eventing. I know the horse is capable of more and it is me holding him back. However every time I go up that centre line I have a smile on my face because I think how lucky I am to be there and be competing at all - the cowbag mare rarely left the yard she was such a witch and I was miserable not being able to compete.
Can I ask JetSet, what level have you ridden to in the past? My riding and my confidence in my own abilities has been transformed by spending 3 months training under someone riding a variety of horses including those trained to a higher level than my own. Whilst I appreciate this isn't possible for the majority of people, what it has taught me is the value of schoolmaster lessons, and I fully intend to keep having them even when I have my horse back, and even if it means sacrificing a competition here or there - because overall my results will be better for it. Now if you've ridden to PSG before this probably doesn't apply, but if like me you are an amateur producing a horse yourself for the first time to each level, then I guarantee it will make a difference, because you will learn whether it is the horse giving the wrong answer to the right question (in which case stick to your guns!) or you asking incorrectly - in which case change something.
Like me you've had a lot of bad luck with injuries. When I have a crap day competing I hold on to the fact that the horse is sound, healthy and actually able to do a dressage test! This puts it into perspective for me.
[/ QUOTE ]
It's funny you should say that - I get so so frustrated with myself for not riding nearly well enough and consistently coming 20th or thereabouts out novice eventing. I know the horse is capable of more and it is me holding him back. However every time I go up that centre line I have a smile on my face because I think how lucky I am to be there and be competing at all - the cowbag mare rarely left the yard she was such a witch and I was miserable not being able to compete.
Can I ask JetSet, what level have you ridden to in the past? My riding and my confidence in my own abilities has been transformed by spending 3 months training under someone riding a variety of horses including those trained to a higher level than my own. Whilst I appreciate this isn't possible for the majority of people, what it has taught me is the value of schoolmaster lessons, and I fully intend to keep having them even when I have my horse back, and even if it means sacrificing a competition here or there - because overall my results will be better for it. Now if you've ridden to PSG before this probably doesn't apply, but if like me you are an amateur producing a horse yourself for the first time to each level, then I guarantee it will make a difference, because you will learn whether it is the horse giving the wrong answer to the right question (in which case stick to your guns!) or you asking incorrectly - in which case change something.
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
I have to say, when I ride like a numpty and freeze in the ring (it happens to us all) I get something in the 50s, not mid 60s! And it happened to me last week in my Elementary non -qualifier. I rode like a tosspot. But I gave myself a good talking to, and rode better in the qualifier.
That is all you can do. There is no magic potion. Just ride better next time and stop analysing it. Thinking too much is the worst enemy of good riding, this is something I've only recently come to learn.
Like me you've had a lot of bad luck with injuries. When I have a crap day competing I hold on to the fact that the horse is sound, healthy and actually able to do a dressage test! This puts it into perspective for me.
[/ QUOTE ]
That is very much along the lines of what my trainer said to me at the competition yesterday. She told me that I had to look at what we had achieved since just December time when she was so backwards and humping everytime the leg was applied, and I would see how far we have come!
I am so proud of her for carrying me around the test yesterday. I could see my hands shaking as I rode up the centre line, and she must have felt how crap I was feeling, but she just got on with the job and really helped me. A few months ago, she would most certainly not have done that, she would have let me sink
I did ride better in the second test, I got some great work out of her, but then couldn't do two things at once and went wrong twice
But after the advice on here, I am trying to think a bit more positive about it and remember the good moments of the second test rather than the going wrong bits! My trainer watched the second test and she thought I was going to go completely to pot because the judge had to get out of the box and tell me where I went wrong... she thought I was just going to crumble at that point
But I didn't, I kept it together and went wrong again
But, I did ride!
You are completely right, I have to just think how lucky I am that I still have my beautiful girl with me; she made me very proud yesterday and even when I was having a bit of talk to myself about how stupid I had been, I was still smiling thinking of how she had looked after me.
I have to say, when I ride like a numpty and freeze in the ring (it happens to us all) I get something in the 50s, not mid 60s! And it happened to me last week in my Elementary non -qualifier. I rode like a tosspot. But I gave myself a good talking to, and rode better in the qualifier.
That is all you can do. There is no magic potion. Just ride better next time and stop analysing it. Thinking too much is the worst enemy of good riding, this is something I've only recently come to learn.
Like me you've had a lot of bad luck with injuries. When I have a crap day competing I hold on to the fact that the horse is sound, healthy and actually able to do a dressage test! This puts it into perspective for me.
[/ QUOTE ]
That is very much along the lines of what my trainer said to me at the competition yesterday. She told me that I had to look at what we had achieved since just December time when she was so backwards and humping everytime the leg was applied, and I would see how far we have come!
I am so proud of her for carrying me around the test yesterday. I could see my hands shaking as I rode up the centre line, and she must have felt how crap I was feeling, but she just got on with the job and really helped me. A few months ago, she would most certainly not have done that, she would have let me sink
I did ride better in the second test, I got some great work out of her, but then couldn't do two things at once and went wrong twice
You are completely right, I have to just think how lucky I am that I still have my beautiful girl with me; she made me very proud yesterday and even when I was having a bit of talk to myself about how stupid I had been, I was still smiling thinking of how she had looked after me.
SpottedCat
Well-Known Member
QR: Like most things in life, if you can stump up the cash they couldn't care less if you want to hack down the road or jump round Badminton is my guess...
Halfstep
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Can I ask JetSet, what level have you ridden to in the past? My riding and my confidence in my own abilities has been transformed by spending 3 months training under someone riding a variety of horses including those trained to a higher level than my own. Whilst I appreciate this isn't possible for the majority of people, what it has taught me is the value of schoolmaster lessons, and I fully intend to keep having them even when I have my horse back, and even if it means sacrificing a competition here or there - because overall my results will be better for it. Now if you've ridden to PSG before this probably doesn't apply, but if like me you are an amateur producing a horse yourself for the first time to each level, then I guarantee it will make a difference, because you will learn whether it is the horse giving the wrong answer to the right question (in which case stick to your guns!) or you asking incorrectly - in which case change something.
[/ QUOTE ]
Absolutely spot on. Completely agree with all of this.
Can I ask JetSet, what level have you ridden to in the past? My riding and my confidence in my own abilities has been transformed by spending 3 months training under someone riding a variety of horses including those trained to a higher level than my own. Whilst I appreciate this isn't possible for the majority of people, what it has taught me is the value of schoolmaster lessons, and I fully intend to keep having them even when I have my horse back, and even if it means sacrificing a competition here or there - because overall my results will be better for it. Now if you've ridden to PSG before this probably doesn't apply, but if like me you are an amateur producing a horse yourself for the first time to each level, then I guarantee it will make a difference, because you will learn whether it is the horse giving the wrong answer to the right question (in which case stick to your guns!) or you asking incorrectly - in which case change something.
[/ QUOTE ]
Absolutely spot on. Completely agree with all of this.
_jetset_
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Becki its Jen now btw not mum...
im sorry but you do sound like your moaning. i dont think prelim is enough to occupy your mind you need to start doing novices on Grace. and as for worrying about a judge maybe you shouldnt have gone if your going to get so worked up about that particular judge, (who did give you a good mark and placed you second!)
dressage IS subjective but youve chosen to compete in that disapline and so what if she got a six for paces next time youll be back with 7s or 8s, we all get disappointing scores but i wouldnt dwell on one tiny detail.
you are soooo lucky to be able to have regular lessons with two top "trainers" or instructors all the support you could ever want is there, so now its about trying to relax and maybe a sports therapist is the way forward because you cant have your mind hold you back.
Can you have tests read for you at BD because maybe next time have it read and then thats less to worry about, if theres a penalty as there is at pony club area of 2 pens then still do it as the rest of your marks may improve for it. or compete HC if necessary. OR do some unaffilated just a couple where your results arent going to be remembered or dont matter in the long run. Just take Grace to Church Farm or myerscough and do a couple of confident prelim/ novice tests where you can get yourselves together because there is completely no pressure!
anyway you'll get it sorted just stop overanalysing everything because you are your own worst enemy!
=) x
[/ QUOTE ]
Hi Jen... you're spot on (ha ha, just realised that is a good pun), I over anaylse EVERYTHING! It is something I have done in absolutely everything I have ever done (gymnastics, trampolining...) and it is a real negative aspect of my personality.
I wanted to stick at Prelim until I got it right with her and work her up through the levels. I have done some Novice tests, so perhaps it would be a good idea to do some more and see how we get on.
Andy used to read for me out competing, but more often than not I go on my own. I did once ask a lady to read for me at a local competition (there are no penalties) and she told me she would not read for me because her daughter was in my section and she did not want to give anyone any help! You can imagine how that made me feel and have never asked anyone else since because as I see it, everyone who is there on the ground is there with someone!
Oh and you are also right, I need to relax about it all... that is something I find very very hard to do with Grace.
God, a therapist is going to have an absolute field day with me aren't they!!!
Becki its Jen now btw not mum...
im sorry but you do sound like your moaning. i dont think prelim is enough to occupy your mind you need to start doing novices on Grace. and as for worrying about a judge maybe you shouldnt have gone if your going to get so worked up about that particular judge, (who did give you a good mark and placed you second!)
dressage IS subjective but youve chosen to compete in that disapline and so what if she got a six for paces next time youll be back with 7s or 8s, we all get disappointing scores but i wouldnt dwell on one tiny detail.
you are soooo lucky to be able to have regular lessons with two top "trainers" or instructors all the support you could ever want is there, so now its about trying to relax and maybe a sports therapist is the way forward because you cant have your mind hold you back.
Can you have tests read for you at BD because maybe next time have it read and then thats less to worry about, if theres a penalty as there is at pony club area of 2 pens then still do it as the rest of your marks may improve for it. or compete HC if necessary. OR do some unaffilated just a couple where your results arent going to be remembered or dont matter in the long run. Just take Grace to Church Farm or myerscough and do a couple of confident prelim/ novice tests where you can get yourselves together because there is completely no pressure!
anyway you'll get it sorted just stop overanalysing everything because you are your own worst enemy!
=) x
[/ QUOTE ]
Hi Jen... you're spot on (ha ha, just realised that is a good pun), I over anaylse EVERYTHING! It is something I have done in absolutely everything I have ever done (gymnastics, trampolining...) and it is a real negative aspect of my personality.
I wanted to stick at Prelim until I got it right with her and work her up through the levels. I have done some Novice tests, so perhaps it would be a good idea to do some more and see how we get on.
Andy used to read for me out competing, but more often than not I go on my own. I did once ask a lady to read for me at a local competition (there are no penalties) and she told me she would not read for me because her daughter was in my section and she did not want to give anyone any help! You can imagine how that made me feel and have never asked anyone else since because as I see it, everyone who is there on the ground is there with someone!
Oh and you are also right, I need to relax about it all... that is something I find very very hard to do with Grace.
God, a therapist is going to have an absolute field day with me aren't they!!!
SpottedCat
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Andy used to read for me out competing, but more often than not I go on my own. I did once ask a lady to read for me at a local competition (there are no penalties) and she told me she would not read for me because her daughter was in my section and she did not want to give anyone any help! You can imagine how that made me feel and have never asked anyone else since because as I see it, everyone who is there on the ground is there with someone!
[/ QUOTE ]
You need to get over it. Yes, everyone is there with someone, that doesn't mean everyone has that kind of unsportsman-like attitude. Otherwise I'd never jump a bloody practice fence as I am always BSJA/BE on my own. I just smile and ask someone to alter it for me, and if they ignore me (never had anyone say no yet) then I ask someone else. Likewise I have been out eventing with people a lot recently as groom, but it doesn't mean I haven't held people's horses/altered jumps/taken whips, boots and bandages off for them etc. I am happy to help because frankly the small amount of help I give someone is not going to affect how well 'my' rider does. You caught one sh1tty person on one day, and now you won't ask anyone ever again? That to me does require you to be told to man up and pull yourself together!!
Andy used to read for me out competing, but more often than not I go on my own. I did once ask a lady to read for me at a local competition (there are no penalties) and she told me she would not read for me because her daughter was in my section and she did not want to give anyone any help! You can imagine how that made me feel and have never asked anyone else since because as I see it, everyone who is there on the ground is there with someone!
[/ QUOTE ]
You need to get over it. Yes, everyone is there with someone, that doesn't mean everyone has that kind of unsportsman-like attitude. Otherwise I'd never jump a bloody practice fence as I am always BSJA/BE on my own. I just smile and ask someone to alter it for me, and if they ignore me (never had anyone say no yet) then I ask someone else. Likewise I have been out eventing with people a lot recently as groom, but it doesn't mean I haven't held people's horses/altered jumps/taken whips, boots and bandages off for them etc. I am happy to help because frankly the small amount of help I give someone is not going to affect how well 'my' rider does. You caught one sh1tty person on one day, and now you won't ask anyone ever again? That to me does require you to be told to man up and pull yourself together!!