Just need to moan..

ChestnutTinker

ChestnutTinker

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Don't worry, you don't have to reply I just need to get it out of my system.

Basically, I've been planning to do some shows with Paddy and set other targets and I talk about them or post photo's of Paddy on facebook and mum's always like 'He's not yours' 'Stop writing/thinking/posting stuff like that, acting like he's yours'
Now, fair play he isn't mine but owner has said I can take him to shows and put photo's on the internet and set targets (she even set some with me) so I can't see what the problem is?
She won't take me to see him, I have to get lifts from owner or get the bus (every 2 hours) and she won't associate with him or anything. If I so much as mention him she tuts,shakes her head and says 'I'm not talking about horses' It's just annoying, I feel like i'm dreading on eggshells!!
I wouldn't mind if she wasn't horsey but she had horses on loan at my age and loved them - and she's fine with other horses it's just since i've started with Paddy :(

URGH! :mad:

okay, moan over. Cupcakes? :)
 
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GlamourPuss86 said:
How old are you OP?
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16 - Just coming up to 17 so hopefully should be driving soon! (would help) :)
It's just, I've waited for so long to have a horse to look after and ride and it's finally happened and she's just saying how unhappy she is about it, how she doesn't want to meet him and doesn't want me planning things. I just can't work her out :(
I know I sound pathetic - I just seriously needed to vent it out!!
 
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I would make sure that when interacting with this person, I'd speak about them and things at interest them for at least half the time. I personally don't talk much about horses to friends unless they are into horses. I would be bored to tears if a friend went on and on and on about a hobby I wasn't interested in. (Same goes for mums! I do occasionally mention my horse to my mum, but not that often, as it is not her hobby)

I also think is works best for me to be as independent of family as possible, and not rely on lifts, money etc. edited to say - when I was 16 I biked and took the bus, as my mum had more important things to do than driving me around.

is this your mum? She isn't a taxi service... Can you get a bike or maybe a scooter?
 
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_CJ_ said:
I would make sure that when interacting with this person, I'd speak about them and things at interest them for at least half the time. I personally don't talk much about horses to friends unless they are into horses. I would be bored to tears if a friend went on and on and on about a hobby I wasn't interested in.

I also think is works best for me to be as independent of family as possible, and not rely on lifts, money etc.

is this your mum? She isn't a taxi service... Can you get a bike or maybe a scooter?
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Yes, it's my mum :)
I don't rely on her for lifts that's the thing, if I go I get the bus usually halfway and if there's not one for a couple of hours, the owner picks me up. And I always pay fuel for whoever 'taxis' me about :o
It's not like i'm talking about him 24/7 either, I can just mention him and she says to 'shut up' or 'change the subject'
I wish I knew what was bothering her but she won't tell me :(
 
Maybe you talked about him a lot before, and she just had enough horse talk and now won't hear another word... Hehe.
Or maybe she is concerned that you are getting too attached?
 
I think it's maybe not something you're doing but she's worried about somethign else - try just to ignore her. I'd second the suggestion of a moped or similar if you have enough for one - you're old enough now and will help you get out and about independantly
 
mynutmeg said:
I think it's maybe not something you're doing but she's worried about somethign else - try just to ignore her. I'd second the suggestion of a moped or similar if you have enough for one - you're old enough now and will help you get out and about independantly
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I've just tried to think of why she gave up riding but it was because she had children and didn't get back into it :o
I bet if I could get her on Paddy she'd change her mind :D
 
My mum was the same when I was younger. I had three ponies, one on loan and the other two we owned to share with my two sisters and while my mum happily foot the bill and would mostly drive us where we needed to go she would pretty much never watch us ride, didn't really like talking about them and would get really annoyed with us if we were late home from seeing to the horses and wouldn't listen to the reason why. She's not horsey but it would really bother me, she used to do what your mum does OP and would tut or whatever when we started talking about our ponies.

At the time it really bugged me and although I had my sisters there sometimes you need adult support and my mum's approval is really important to me. But I learned years later that the reason my mum was like that is because she didn't really want us riding because she was worried about our safety. She told me it used to make her really nervous to watch us riding and she hated seeing us fall. I guess by being dismissive (which she claims she wasn't, so maybe she didn't mean it or did it subconsciously almost) I think she was deep down hoping we'd quit! My sisters did but I didn't and know she seems to have accepted my obsession and always asks after my horses when we speak.

Maybe you need to sit down with your mum OP and explain how important Paddy is to you. Has she met his owner? Maybe this would help your mum understand that his owner is really happy to have you riding him and caring for him and that she wants you to treat him like your own. Maybe your mum just doesn't understand the arrangement you have with his owner and so is feeling uncomfortable about visiting etc? Or maybe, like my mum she is worried about you riding at all? I really think having a proper chat and finding out what she's thinking will help.

Chin up! The most important thing is how much you're enjoying Paddy and what you're getting out of it. :)
 
*sprinkles* said:
My mum was the same when I was younger. I had three ponies, one on loan and the other two we owned to share with my two sisters and while my mum happily foot the bill and would mostly drive us where we needed to go she would pretty much never watch us ride, didn't really like talking about them and would get really annoyed with us if we were late home from seeing to the horses and wouldn't listen to the reason why. She's not horsey but it would really bother me, she used to do what your mum does OP and would tut or whatever when we started talking about our ponies.

At the time it really bugged me and although I had my sisters there sometimes you need adult support and my mum's approval is really important to me. But I learned years later that the reason my mum was like that is because she didn't really want us riding because she was worried about our safety. She told me it used to make her really nervous to watch us riding and she hated seeing us fall. I guess by being dismissive (which she claims she wasn't, so maybe she didn't mean it or did it subconsciously almost) I think she was deep down hoping we'd quit! My sisters did but I didn't and know she seems to have accepted my obsession and always asks after my horses when we speak.

Maybe you need to sit down with your mum OP and explain how important Paddy is to you. Has she met his owner? Maybe this would help your mum understand that his owner is really happy to have you riding him and caring for him and that she wants you to treat him like your own. Maybe your mum just doesn't understand the arrangement you have with his owner and so is feeling uncomfortable about visiting etc? Or maybe, like my mum she is worried about you riding at all? I really think having a proper chat and finding out what she's thinking will help.

Chin up! The most important thing is how much you're enjoying Paddy and what you're getting out of it. :)
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What a great idea, thumbs up to you, *sprinkles*! :D
Yes, she's met the owner and thinks she's lovely (she is amazing) and she knows she's got a heart of gold :o
It could be a safety thing but i'm sure she'd have told me if it was. Time to make a brew, sit down and ask her :)
 
Maybe if you stick with it and show her you'll be responsible and you're in it for the long haul she'll come around.

My mum was the same at first 'don't expect me to touch that thing' etc etc etc... But after a while she came around and she fell in love with my mare too and she loves my little cob now too and our horsey time is now our mother/daughter time, she's my unpaid groom ;) So hang in there, just keep plugging away, I'm sure she'll come around in time.
 
My mum grew up on a farm she rode and had dogs. When she was 11 her Labrador killed one of my grandads sheep now back then you didn't really have any other option of rehoming so her dog was shot. She never got over that and have up animals completely. She has just started to come round to dizzy but I never push her on her.
Just enjoy paddy and don't force your mum. Maybe try and ask her what she enjoys and do that with her instead if you want to build a better relationship, I go and watch my mum play golf which she loves.
As for transport I am 27 and spend 3.5hrs a day on public transport between home horse and work finally having driving lessons though :)
 
Feathered said:
Maybe if you stick with it and show her you'll be responsible and you're in it for the long haul she'll come around.

My mum was the same at first 'don't expect me to touch that thing' etc etc etc... But after a while she came around and she fell in love with my mare too and she loves my little cob now too and our horsey time is now our mother/daughter time, she's my unpaid groom ;) So hang in there, just keep plugging away, I'm sure she'll come around in time.
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I bloody hope so!
For months, if not years she kept looking at horses for sale and telling me to message about them - only deciding against it after the owner's replied (I was a timewaster :( ) And I never knew why, all I knew was that it hurt like crap!!

Oh! I stand corrected, she met him and the 'gang' once - touched them all, said 'Hi' but didn't want to talk about them on the way home :(

My target is to get mum on Paddy :D Wish me luck - she's stubborn :p
 
AmiRobertson said:
My mum grew up on a farm she rode and had dogs. When she was 11 her Labrador killed one of my grandads sheep now back then you didn't really have any other option of rehoming so her dog was shot. She never got over that and have up animals completely. She has just started to come round to dizzy but I never push her on her.
Just enjoy paddy and don't force your mum. Maybe try and ask her what she enjoys and do that with her instead if you want to build a better relationship, I go and watch my mum play golf which she loves.
As for transport I am 27 and spend 3.5hrs a day on public transport between home horse and work finally having driving lessons though :)
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I may just stop talking about him! That way i'm not bugging her and she's not bugging me :o It's just annoying when she won't support me :( And when I mention shows she's completely 'No, no' - yet she'd watch and pat Paddy, she goes through weird moods :p I love her to pieces but my God, it's annoying :p
hnmisty said:
This is an odd suggestion... But do you think she might be jealous?
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I don't know :o
Owner says she's welcome to ride Paddy whenever but she won't even consider it :(
 
Sounds like there's a lot more to it. Its very rare that a mum is genuinely not interested in their child's happiness. I would also hazard a guess it might be safety worries (why did she stop riding before - perhaps she got frightened?) or that she's concerned that it will take you away from academic studies at an important stage in your life...
I think the brew-move was your best bet but tread carefully... perhaps she doesn't want to admit that her little girl is doing stuff that she became too scared to.
Whatever the reason, its probably due to a deep-seated desire to keep you safe and sound so go gently!
Good luck...:)
 
Turks said:
Sounds like there's a lot more to it. Its very rare that a mum is genuinely not interested in their child's happiness. I would also hazard a guess it might be safety worries (why did she stop riding before - perhaps she got frightened?) or that she's concerned that it will take you away from academic studies at an important stage in your life...
I think the brew-move was your best bet but tread carefully... perhaps she doesn't want to admit that her little girl is doing stuff that she became too scared to.
Whatever the reason, its probably due to a deep-seated desire to keep you safe and sound so go gently!
Good luck...:)
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She has never told me of any accidents around horses or riding so I don't know :o
 
I am also 16 and know exactly how you feel! My mum has recently made me move my mare to a full livery yard miles away so I can no longer walk. (she won't let me have a moped) I just feel so annoyed as she will only give me lifts there 3 days a week meaning i can't see her when I like and because she ain't horsey she just doesn't understand what it is like! She has a go at me every time I try and explain and tells me I still spend to much time at the yard she just doesn't want to know!:(
 
This is a bit tongue in cheek :D

Tell your Mums that you are thinking of giving up horses for motorbikes. Mention the gorgeous 17 yr old with long hair and biker leathers. He tavels the country and sleeps rough sometimes but hey, he's living life. Go soppy about his lovely wild brown eyes (or something). Say you don't know why you found horses so interesting because bikes are much more exciting, faster, and don't poo.

;)
 
AnnaWM said:
I am also 16 and know exactly how you feel! My mum has recently made me move my mare to a full livery yard miles away so I can no longer walk. (she won't let me have a moped) I just feel so annoyed as she will only give me lifts there 3 days a week meaning i can't see her when I like and because she ain't horsey she just doesn't understand what it is like! She has a go at me every time I try and explain and tells me I still spend to much time at the yard she just doesn't want to know!:(
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I can't imagine how annoying it is especially when you own your own! :eek:
Strawbz said:
This is a bit tongue in cheek :D

Tell your Mums that you are thinking of giving up horses for motorbikes. Mention the gorgeous 17 yr old with long hair and biker leathers. He tavels the country and sleeps rough sometimes but hey, he's living life. Go soppy about his lovely wild brown eyes (or something). Say you don't know why you found horses so interesting because bikes are much more exciting, faster, and don't poo.

;)
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LOL, She'll love me for that :D:D
 
ChestnutTinker said:
I can't imagine how annoying it is especially when you own your own! :eek:
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Yes it is very annoying, she just doesn't reaslise that some horses NEED to be ridden more than 3 times a quick to stop their heads exploding after having 4 days off! :cool:

Strawbz said:
This is a bit tongue in cheek :D

Tell your Mums that you are thinking of giving up horses for motorbikes. Mention the gorgeous 17 yr old with long hair and biker leathers. He tavels the country and sleeps rough sometimes but hey, he's living life. Go soppy about his lovely wild brown eyes (or something). Say you don't know why you found horses so interesting because bikes are much more exciting, faster, and don't poo.

;)
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Haha brilliant!:p Not sure how well it would go down with her though! ;)
 
Maybe add that this brown eyed biker has said how he'd really like to have kids when he's young. Lots of kids. The more the merrier, in fact!
 
Moped is good start fir learning bto drive as you learn the road sense. Plus once you pass your car test you can sell it and use the money to buy a car :-)
 
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