Lethal inection

Thank you everyone who has posted on this thread and messaged me with their support. It really does help. So many people have been through similar experiences. Not one person has been judgemental, all have been tactful no matter what their views.

I am in a daze right now and cannot believe she is no longer there. But I have no regrets and believe that I did it at just the right time. I am so grateful for that. I know 100% that I tried everything I could for her. I am just so, so sad that I could not fix her.

The end was quick. She did fall quicker and harder than I would have liked, but we did it in the arena on a sand and rubber surface so she did not bang her head. As the vet said, they are all different, and the exact same thing happens during 'knock down' for an operation. Some sink gracefully down, others go with a thud. I am saying this in case others reading the subject need more details on what to expect. One second she was munching food, the next she fell, and kicked for no more than a second or two at the most. I am happy that she knew nothing from the second she stopped munching.

She died at home with someone who loved her.
 
Dear Wagtail, I am so very sorry for your loss. I think the timing was exactly right, more box rest would have been too awful for both of you. Give yourself time to grieve and take comfort from knowing that you did Penny the ultimate kindness.
 
wagtail, i am in tears reading this, i opened this thread first tonight as had been thinking of you during the day. you know you have done the best for her and she has had a good few days being a horse....believe me it will get easier although you will never forget her....what a beautiful girl and sounds like she was quite a character.....look after yourself, a nice glass of wine and some chocs wouold be good!!!!!
 
Yes I have a very large glass of white wine right now. A bit early but heh ho.

I just don't know what I will do to fill the enormous hole she has left. She really was larger than life. All other horses seem so bland right now.
 
Wagtail said:
I just don't know what I will do to fill the enormous hole she has left.
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Time will ease it. We all know that but with these extra special horses the time takes so much longer for us to come to terms with the loss of them. I still struggle with losing my precious mare back in March. The hole she left is still gaping and very raw. I know, like you, that we will recover eventually and all that will be left are those lovely happy memories of our beloveds. But some days it can be fricking hard. I do feel for you and I hope you can get over it much quicker than me, as I really can't seem to shake the feeling of intense loss. Stupid I know, but I can't help it. If you ever need to talk or have a blub there's loads of us on here who will lend a shoulder for you to lean on.
 
just look after yourself for now, you are probably a bit run down as you have been through so much lately.....maybe go in a different direction, get a dog/cat/guinea pig/rabbit then you wont be comparing all the time.. or have a nice holiday somewhere warm even if its only a week....your girl is safe now and its time for you...
 
This is my little friend who is trying her best to comfort me right now.

winnie_zps83ece3e2.jpg
 
Spring Feather said:
Time will ease it. We all know that but with these extra special horses the time takes so much longer for us to come to terms with the loss of them. I still struggle with losing my precious mare back in March. The hole she left is still gaping and very raw. I know, like you, that we will recover eventually and all that will be left are those lovely happy memories of our beloveds. But some days it can be fricking hard. I do feel for you and I hope you can get over it much quicker than me, as I really can't seem to shake the feeling of intense loss. Stupid I know, but I can't help it. If you ever need to talk or have a blub there's loads of us on here who will lend a shoulder for you to lean on.
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I am so sorry it is taking so much time. I can well believe it though. I don't know what it is about mares, I never wanted one, but now I can't imagine life without one.
 
Oh God I'm only catching up on the thread now. I'm so sorry for your loss. You poor thing you must be devastated. You can rest easy knowing you went above and beyond what most people would to give her every chance x
 
Wagtail, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. What a lucky girl, to have such a dedicated, caring and true owner. You gave her every amount of love and dignity. I know you have a huge hole in your heart, I hope the wonderful memories you made together and the knowledge she isn't in pain can provide you with comfort while you grieve for her.

True love, is in my opinion, putting the needs of those we love before our own. Xxx

When I lost ebony, another poster shared this on my thread, I now want to share it with you xxx

The Foal

I'll lend you for a little while my grandest foal, HE said.
for you to love while he's alive and mourn when he is dead.
It may be one or twenty years, or days or months, you see,
but will you, till I take him back, take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief,
you'll have treasured memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
but there are lessons taught on earth I want this foal to learn.
I've looked the wide world over In my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, with trust, I've chosen you.
Now will you give him total love? not think the labor vain,
nor hate me when I come here to take him back again?
I know you'll give him tenderness and love will bloom each day,
and for the happiness you've known, forever grateful stay
But should I come and call for him much sooner than you'd planned,
you'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and someday, understand,
 
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What a stunning mare. I am so sorry for your loss.
You were as lucky to have her in your life as she was to have you. Not many get to go in there own surroundings, in a calm manner and surrounded by those who love them best.
I had the exact same thing with my horse of a life time and please take it from someone who knows that once the tears are under control you will look back and feel relief that you did the right thing.
My last memory is of my boy dropping quickly like your mare but with his ears pricked and polos still in his mouth. That memory still comforts me three years on.
 
Queenbee said:
Wagtail, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. What a lucky girl, to have such a dedicated, caring and true owner. You gave her every amount of love and dignity. I know you have a huge hole in your heart, I hope the wonderful memories you made together and the knowledge she isn't in pain can provide you with comfort while you grieve for her.

True love, is in my opinion, putting the needs of those we love before our own. Xxx

When I lost ebony, another poster shared this on my thread, I now want to share it with you xxx

The Foal

I'll lend you for a little while my grandest foal, HE said.
for you to love while he's alive and mourn when he is dead.
It may be one or twenty years, or days or months, you see,
but will you, till I take him back, take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief,
you'll have treasured memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
but there are lessons taught on earth I want this foal to learn.
I've looked the wide world over In my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, with trust, I've chosen you.
Now will you give him total love? not think the labor vain,
nor hate me when I come here to take him back again?
I know you'll give him tenderness and love will bloom each day,
and for the happiness you've known, forever grateful stay
But should I come and call for him much sooner than you'd planned,
you'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and someday, understand,
Click to expand...

What a beautiful poem. It brings me to tears but it really is a comfort. Thank you.
 
Bigbenji said:
What a stunning mare. I am so sorry for your loss.
You were as lucky to have her in your life as she was to have you. Not many get to go in there own surroundings, in a calm manner and surrounded by those who love them best.
I had the exact same thing with my horse of a life time and please take it from someone who knows that once the tears are under control you will look back and feel relief that you did the right thing.
My last memory is of my boy dropping quickly like your mare but with his ears pricked and polos still in his mouth. That memory still comforts me three years on.
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Thank you. Yes in a way animals that are loved and cared for have it better than humans. We can spare them immense suffering.
 
Another silent follower of this thread but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that you have had to make such a heartbreaking decision, RIP Penny xxx
 
Treasured Friend


A Treasured Friend and my Soule Mate
Blessed was the day you came into my life
I will treasure this day for ever and for always
You accepted me as I accepted you
I trusted you as you trusted me

Together we travelled through fields high and low
The wind in your mane blowing it in my face
I clung to your neck as we ran swiftly through the grass
Your hooves barely making a sound as we were in full flight.

You are as gentle and loving now as you were all those years back
Never been any sort of animosity towards me
You are the perfect companion for me I hope I am the perfect friend for you
You have looked after me through thick and thin
As I now have to look after you in your time of need.
You are so brave despite the pain
You maintain the brightness in your eyes and the will to fight

I am here for you always my love
And always will be for as long as you need me
I will never give up as long as you have the will to live
I have the will to nurse you
I hope and pray
That maybe some day
will see you running free again
Someday soon
Until the time comes to say goodbye

Sadly the time has now come
I have done all I can for you darling
Your pain will soon be over, but mine has begun
You’re a fighter darling big and brave
My world will be an emptier place without you
Trust me darling we will be together again one day
Rest and run free over Rainbow Bridge
 
The nightmare continues. Just lost her best buddy to colic. Vet thinks melenomas inside him due to him being a grey. It happened so fast. RIP beautiful boy.
 
He was such a lovely horse and never gave me any trouble. I had just been wondering how he would cope without my girl in the summer, as they used to come in at night together into the sand as they were both lami prone. I was thinking he would be lonely. Poor little man. I really will miss him.
 
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