Lethal inection

When I made this decision for ebony, it was gut wrenching I know your pain. I just looked at my old thread to see if I could find a post describing what happened, but I never did write that post. It was incredibly calm and peaceful, I fed her grass in the paddock, spoke with words of love to her and cried and trembled a lot, I stroked her face and looked into her eyes, I saw no pain in her eyes, her knees buckled and she sank gracefully to the ground. It was a while until her heart gave up but she was not aware from the second she lay down. I don't have to teach you to suck eggs, but cover the eye, I found the change in the eye disturbing as to me that signalled the finality of it all, it would have been my undoing if I'd watched that change. I can only say to you the beautiful words of comfort that you provided me with at the time I said goodbye to ebony.

Wagtail said:
She told you she was ready and you listened... No horse could wish for more.
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Oh Wagtail my heart goes out to you. it really does hun.when i said goodnight to baby inaugust she looked amazing truelly healthy and happy .But her sight had moved and her stress starting to get worse. i cried and argued with self for months - once having to pull car over as sobbing - but i deciided better to go happy than to wait. she was 14 and in my life for 7 years. Once i had made the call to vets i felt a sense of relief that call was made.she went by injection peacefully with me by her side and my vet was there to help me esp as she know about babys past. given her background,given all she had given me my last act of love was to make that decision. hunnie of course i miss her more than words can say - her squeal when she saw me her beautiful soft eyes and the way she made a bad day good but she deserved that final show of love whilst she was good healthy and happy. to watch her stressing was horrendous. Once call to vets was made i put that "day" to back of mind and soaked every moment up with her.even sitting in field just watching her. i also took mane and tail like you have. hun these next few days will be tough but i will be thinking of you as that call is hardest part . x x
 
It is a hard decision to make. I have taken to long to make that decision, (with our cat), and he did end up a bag of bones. I now have a horse who at some time will need to be PTS and I don't intend to leave it too long again. I do think the best kindness is not waiting until they are unhappy.
 
Thank you so much for all your kind words. They really do help. Since yesterday, I have made 3 changes to her feeding regime. Firstly I am adding extra salt, secondly, I have completely removed the pure feeds easy (which I believe contains soya), and thirdly, I am soaking her forage in hot water which removes more sugar. I don't really expect them to make a real difference, but I have to try. She is on borrowed time. I tasted the water after soaking the nets and it was much sweeter than when I have used cold water, and I haven't been soaking so long as I don't want to encourage bacteria. Worth a go!
 
Im sorry. Its a horrible time for you. I had simalar with my old mare, All I would say is make sure you have her sedated before hand. My vet messed up and it was not a nice end. Just make sure you get a experienced vet.
 
I am so sorry to hear about your mare. That is what I am terrified of. I think I am going to ask for the head vet. There is certainly one vet in the practice that has bundled a few things for us.
 
Thank you, Im sure if it comes to that it will go well for you, just would not want what happened to my mare happen to anyone else. I know the injection is a kind, peacefull end in most cases and I was unlucky.
 
Wagtail I too have been following your story and not yet posted but feel I should now. My mum and I are in a similar situation with her mare. Long story which I won't go into now, but mare has lost a lot of condition and we are facing the awful situation of do we PTS as bright, otherwise healthy horse who is a big part of our life.

The one thing I constantly remind myself with my animals is that I only want to look back and think 'no regrets'. Knowing that I did the best thing for them and didn't let them suffer no matter how hard it is/was for me. It is our responsibility to them.

I think we can all see how hard you are trying to do the best for your horse. I can't offer any advice I'm afraid, but hugs and much love to you both.
 
Wagtail said:
Thank you so much for all your kind words. They really do help. Since yesterday, I have made 3 changes to her feeding regime. Firstly I am adding extra salt, secondly, I have completely removed the pure feeds easy (which I believe contains soya), and thirdly, I am soaking her forage in hot water which removes more sugar. I don't really expect them to make a real difference, but I have to try. She is on borrowed time. I tasted the water after soaking the nets and it was much sweeter than when I have used cold water, and I haven't been soaking so long as I don't want to encourage bacteria. Worth a go!
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There's a big difference in soaking in cold water and soaking in warm water. Better still change the water a few times to maximise sugar loss and maintain the warmth. And use plenty of water. Seemingly the more water used the faster the sugar removal. I assume its hay and not Haylege you're feeding her?
 
She has vastly improved! I led her out of her box to muck out and she walked out almost sound. Still on two danilon so not counting my chickens but she is HUGELY better than yesterday. I have given her the forecourt to walk around on to get the circulation going and we will see how things go.

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Oh God this is so emotionally draining!
 
Minimilton, she has been on soaked hay, but I have switched now to the blue Marksway haylage and am soaking that. She seems to do better on that soaked than on soaked hay. Whatever change I made seems to be working and she is vastly improved! I do hope it continues and is not a blip. I almost had a breakdown yesterday. I can't take much more of this!
 
Wagtail said:
Minimilton, she has been on soaked hay, but I have switched now to the blue Marksway haylage and am soaking that. She seems to do better on that soaked than on soaked hay. Whatever change I made seems to be working and she is vastly improved! I do hope it continues and is not a blip. I almost had a breakdown yesterday. I can't take much more of this!
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If the hay was being cold soaked and the Haylege is being warm soaked that could explain the difference. Haylege is often a trigger for laminitics so it would be very unusual for her to do better on Haylege, even if its labelled as laminitic friendly.

I'm delighted there's an improvement. Mention to your farrier the rubber wedges. They offer support but its nice and cushioned unlike heart bar shoes
 
minimilton said:
If the hay was being cold soaked and the Haylege is being warm soaked that could explain the difference. Haylege is often a trigger for laminitics so it would be very unusual for her to do better on Haylege, even if its labelled as laminitic friendly.

I'm delighted there's an improvement. Mention to your farrier the rubber wedges. They offer support but its nice and cushioned unlike heart bar shoes
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I know it is odd that she does better on the Marksway Hi fibre haylage, but last time, even cold soaked, she was better than on the hay. I think it is because it is carefully monitored and tested to be guaranteed under 3% sugar, whereas the hay varies quite a lot. She was fine on one batch, but not the next. I will stick with the haylage now as she is making progress. I don't want to rock the boat.
 
I know someone who sold meadow hay to a very serious competition yard the hay was analysed and come back higher in sugar and protein in and lower in roughage than the yards haylage.
Hay is very very variable .
 
I'm really pleased I thought of using hot water to soak the haylage. It's meant that she has had non stop nets all day and is still improving. If she is sound tomorrow, then I will start to cut down the danilon and see what happens. IF and it's a big IF, she pulls through this time, I've decided I will turn her out in the field with her muzzle during the day and bring in to the hot soaked haylage at night. Her laminitis had been under control before she came in. But she had been going out in the sand with two others and sharing hay with them. I think this is what tipped her over the edge. I can't afford to put them all on soaked Marksway Horsehage, so the field and a muzzle is my only option for her I think.

I had also been reading that soy can cause laminitis in some horses. Thinking back, her first ever attack coincided with the change in feed to one containing soy. So who knows?
 
I nearly didn't read all the posts because I was getting upset, but I'm glad I did. Keeping everything crossed Wagtail.
 
She has stayed the same. I thought she had got worse this morning as she was very sore first coming out, but the bedding had packed into her foot and was like walking on a lump. Once I picked her feet out she was the same as yesterday. Sound in walk in a straight line, still sore on the foot with the abscess on tight turns. Still not got that real bounce to her step and still on two danilon. I am feeling very pessimistic but as she is not suffering at the minute and is getting about and seems happy pottering around on the concrete with free access to her stable and a horse in the next box for company, I will give it a few more days. One thing I do know is that when I decide to do it, I will not be telling my nearest and dearest as I almost had a breakdown over the weekend having made the decision and various family members, trying to help and asking me if I was 100% certain. Well no, I am not 100% certain! But I am doing the best I can for her and had made the decision for both our sakes to end it, and then they go putting doubts in my mind and I am back to square one. So if she doesn't improve in a few days time (I want to get her down to one danilon and sound at least), then I will be ringing the vet and doing this thing alone.
 
Wagtail said:
Thank you. I think this is the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. I have lost three other horses, but all were emergencies and the decision to PTS was a no brainer. Now I am faced with a situation of a mare who is bright and perky in herself. Who greets me every time I walk out of the house with a whinny. Who still plays with me in her stable (she's always nudged me around and nibbled me gently). Who I have owned for 14 years and have an incredible bond with, and who I love more than I can even begin to describe. I could control this laminitis by cutting her feed down even further and box resting her, but she is already on the best diet possible and cutting her down further is unacceptable to me, as is long term box rest. I don't want her ending her days a skinny bag of bones confined to a 12 x 12 stable.

I have taken some of her tail. I don't want to cut it off her dead body. I spoke to the vet yesterday, and I have agreed to keep her in over the weekend in a last ditch attempt to try to stabilize her enough to have heartbar shoes put on. But if there is no improvement Monday, then arrangements will be made to PTS.

It has been so hard to make this decision, especially as she is not ready to go yet in herself. But my head tells me it will only be down hill from now on, as it has been really for the past year. I will not have any regrets about leaving it this long though, as I 100% know she has enjoyed the majority of this last year as the pain has been very low grade. But since coming in for the winter, she has taken a down hill turn.

I am devastated.
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I lost my beloved horse of a lifetime the same way - 6 years ago. It is grim, but my daughter & I sat with him while he quietly went to sleep & wept many bitter tears. However, looking back, I'm glad I had it done this way as he went with both of us telling him he had been a total star & how much he was adored by us & that we would be looking for him on the many wonderful rides & competitions we did with him. Hugs to you for next week xx
 
Wagtail, thinking of you at this really difficult time the only thing i can add is that you will know when the time is right one day you will see her and it will be the right desision in your mind and no question. I am pleased she has picked up if only a bit. Sorry not followed all of your posts but i assume you have tested for cushings and EMS ? also maybe look at the wooden clog shoes/ suppors. Thinking of you x
 
Yes, she has mild cushings but has been recently tested and on prascend and her levels are normal. The is obviously EMS even though she tested negative and was on metformin for a few months, but is now off it as she didn't need to lose any more weight. She has easy bppt trails but they make no difference to her when she's bad. She had imprints and again they made no difference until she stabilised and then they were great. I want to get her stabilized again and try the heartbars my vet wants to try. They are the only thing I haven't tried with her. But I am not sure we will get that far.
 
be careful of expecting to much- I had a horse who was very sore with similar chronic mild lami. Until she got the heartbars on she was still very sore even on smooth surfaces-with heartbars she strode out and was field sound which was my criteria-I didn't expect her to be sound on a circle on the concrete or even 100% sound on concrete as it is a hard surface. But comfortable in day to day life was my criteria and the heartbars made all the difference but barefoot she kept bruising and yo yo ing lameness wise
 
SusieT said:
be careful of expecting to much- I had a horse who was very sore with similar chronic mild lami. Until she got the heartbars on she was still very sore even on smooth surfaces-with heartbars she strode out and was field sound which was my criteria-I didn't expect her to be sound on a circle on the concrete or even 100% sound on concrete as it is a hard surface. But comfortable in day to day life was my criteria and the heartbars made all the difference but barefoot she kept bruising and yo yo ing lameness wise
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Thank you. That is encouraging. The last time she was shod was with normal shoes and she went instantly lame. I am worried the same thing would happen again. My vet says she needs to be stable before we have the shoes put on, so I want her to be as comfortable as she is now, but on only one danilon a day before calling the farrier.
 
My farrier was telling me a story of a pony last week that was due to be pts with lami and as a last resort they called in a horse healer and the result was a miracle. As I was reading your post I noticed the card he had given me sticking out from under my computer, I don't know where you are but it might be worth a phone call if nothing else, I am guessing she is local to me in Herts, her no is 01438 222992 and her name is Helen Hilliard.
 
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