kirstyhen
Well-Known Member
It's taken me 22 years of riding in total, 8 years of very low level competing out of a riding school, 1 season at BE80 on my trusty cob and 2 and a half seasons on Moot to get to Novice, and even then it went wrong!
Letter to parents- potential pony
- Thread starter sez1
- Start date
It's taken me 22 years of riding in total, 8 years of very low level competing out of a riding school, 1 season at BE80 on my trusty cob and 2 and a half seasons on Moot to get to Novice, and even then it went wrong!
Lolo
Well-Known Member
I know, but right now everyone's pissing on her parade and there's literally no harm in a 13yo dreaming big. God knows, we've all done it. The route she wants to take is pretty safe- BE monitor you carefully when you're a junior, you have to qualify to move up levels and there's someone there to say no because BE really don't want a teenager having an accident because they're overfaced. So if she does get a pony and does try this all out, if it goes well she'll be fine and if it doesn't someone will stop her.
I don't know. I just feel for sez1- Al used to dream so big when she was younger and now is older and has done let downs and runs of bad luck is firmly in the realms of reality and those dreams did her no harm. I mean, we were unhorsey, she'd done 4 years of riding and had done a few 90cm SJ rounds and a few 80cm ODEs. Got Henry and things exploded a bit and she's not looked back. It might not be the journey the OP wants but with some different luck it could have been an approximation of it (second pony Al was aiming to do some PTs on, but she broke down).
I don't know. I just feel for sez1- Al used to dream so big when she was younger and now is older and has done let downs and runs of bad luck is firmly in the realms of reality and those dreams did her no harm. I mean, we were unhorsey, she'd done 4 years of riding and had done a few 90cm SJ rounds and a few 80cm ODEs. Got Henry and things exploded a bit and she's not looked back. It might not be the journey the OP wants but with some different luck it could have been an approximation of it (second pony Al was aiming to do some PTs on, but she broke down).
BWa
Well-Known Member
My last thought on this thread and I've had a look through your others OP. You are so fixated with the PTs and eventing that it worries me that even if you did get a nice pony and wouldn't enjoy it until you reached your goal and heaven forbid you had issues to address along the way.
I really feel you need you to set the goal posts a little lower to appreciate what you might get.
That's it, I'm out...
I really feel you need you to set the goal posts a little lower to appreciate what you might get.
That's it, I'm out...
JulesRules
Well-Known Member
Have you thought about trailer insurance? Approx £100 for the year. Also Equine recovery - an extra £45 to £65 a year. Servicing for the trailer annually? Call it £150. Some livery yards charge storage for a trailer or do you intend to store at home? I assume your parents already have a suitable tow vehicle as I don't remember seeing those costs but what about the extra fuel?
Some of the things you won't need at the start - you could get by with 2 numnahs ( one to wash and one to wear) at a tenner each off eBay.
As for bedding, yes my girl is a bit mucky but I get through 3 bales of straw a week with rubber matting. So you need to at least double those costs imho.
It's nice to dream big, but honestly I would say start with a nice pony. Join your local pony club or riding club and just see where it takes you. You will be amazed at how much you have to learn, but at the end of the day it's about enjoying it.
Some of the things you won't need at the start - you could get by with 2 numnahs ( one to wash and one to wear) at a tenner each off eBay.
As for bedding, yes my girl is a bit mucky but I get through 3 bales of straw a week with rubber matting. So you need to at least double those costs imho.
It's nice to dream big, but honestly I would say start with a nice pony. Join your local pony club or riding club and just see where it takes you. You will be amazed at how much you have to learn, but at the end of the day it's about enjoying it.
TarrSteps
Well-Known Member
And I'll say again, if your parents CAN'T get you a pony (I'm amazed that so many people have agreed it's simply a case of wanting. . .) then that's not the end of world either.
Think outside of the box! I rode for a Connemara breeder when I was your age, first helping out in return for riding one of her older ponies and eventually progressing to having a 3 yr old to start. I was a working student after school and weekends. I groomed for people, learned how to plait to earn money at horse shows, taught (which makes me shudder now!). I've been given tremendous opportunities from lovely people and probably done more in my riding than many people with their own horse.
I'm not trying to 'piss on your parade' I'm just giving the other side. By all means ask. Parents fund all sorts of things for their kids. But if it happens all you'll be, lucky. Not more deserving, or more successful, or better in any way. Do the best with what you get and people will see.
Think outside of the box! I rode for a Connemara breeder when I was your age, first helping out in return for riding one of her older ponies and eventually progressing to having a 3 yr old to start. I was a working student after school and weekends. I groomed for people, learned how to plait to earn money at horse shows, taught (which makes me shudder now!). I've been given tremendous opportunities from lovely people and probably done more in my riding than many people with their own horse.
I'm not trying to 'piss on your parade' I'm just giving the other side. By all means ask. Parents fund all sorts of things for their kids. But if it happens all you'll be, lucky. Not more deserving, or more successful, or better in any way. Do the best with what you get and people will see.
Patterdale
Well-Known Member
No it's not. Sorry.
You would need to be training every night (and I noticed you haven't included training costs), a very dedicated family who will take you to lessons/competing weekly, and already have lots of experience to start with.
This is true at your age OP.
Also, am I the only one who thinks that £6k for a PT pony is wildly unrealistic?? You'd be looking at £16k more like, at the very least.
It's just all really unrealistic. Sorry. You're setting yourself up to fail. You won't be written off from eventing or a career in horses if you don't do pony trials, don't worry about that.
But I think you need to be a little more realistic for now
FfionWinnie
Well-Known Member
Yes, but the OP has had the letter on her computer for months presumably because she knows the answer will be no. I asked my parents (both professionals) for a pony many times but they didn't feel they could commit to owning one because they themselves knew nothing about horses.
Its all very well saying single mothers do it, indeed, I am a single mother and if I needed to find 6 grand for a pony for my daughter I would, (although I have gone the buy a cheap one and school it up for her route) but I know about horses which makes a massive difference.
Folk who are being negative are only trying to protect the op from massive disappointment.
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hnmisty
Well-Known Member
OP, there is a world of difference between jumping 90cm courses and a one off 1.10m and going round a whole course of 1.20m. Competing at a show at 1.20 in front of a load of people is a different kettle of fish to jumping it at home with your instructor there for help.
If I were you, I'd be a bit more realistic. Ask for a typical pony club type pony. Go to some shows and enter the 85cm. If that goes well, go for the 90. If that goes well then go higher. Go out and have fun without the pressure.
I think by convincing yourself this is possible (against the advice of a lot of people who are bloody impressively experienced on here) then you are setting yourself up for heartache when it doesn't work out.
If I were you, I'd be a bit more realistic. Ask for a typical pony club type pony. Go to some shows and enter the 85cm. If that goes well, go for the 90. If that goes well then go higher. Go out and have fun without the pressure.
I think by convincing yourself this is possible (against the advice of a lot of people who are bloody impressively experienced on here) then you are setting yourself up for heartache when it doesn't work out.
Irishdan
Well-Known Member
Just wanted to say OP, I think your amazing! Follow your dreams. If you were my daughter I would be doing everything I could to help
oldie48
Well-Known Member
My final word too. You can compete in PTs up to the year that you are 16, so your birthday is quite important, the final trials are in the summer, if you are 16 later in the year, then you are too old to compete the following year, therefore a birthday early in the year would be helpful for someone like you. Also your height and weight are very important as the XC tracks are BIG and the time is tight. I couldn't help noticing that most of the successful PT riders competing at the same time as my daughter were small and lightweight. My daughter was a december birthday and neither small nor light but frankly the quality of the successful ponies and the riding ability of the kids who did really well was awsome and several went on to represent the country at Junior and senior levels. If you can, go to either the PC champs or the final PT and walk the course and imagine jumping ot on a 14.2. I didn't sleep the night before I felt so sick and anxious!!
DabDab
Thinks the luddites had a point...
Yes absolutely - my parents also said no because their attitude was that if I wanted a horse I would have to go out and put my own blood, sweat and tears into earning the money to pay for it. At 14 I acquired a free horse and I then worked 25 hours a week around school to earn its keep at a local yard and a lesson once a week for me. There are many reasons other than money that a parent may say no to this kind of proposition, and it doesn't mean they don't love their child, or that the child won't grow up to be a great rider. It's important that the op realises that this is not the end of the world.
Caol Ila
Well-Known Member
When I was about the same age as the OP, we had to do a big independent research project for school. Being totally desperate for a horse of my own, I did my independent research project on the costs of horse ownership in order to prove to my completely non-horsey parents that I was committed enough for a horse. I am sure I had big competitive dreams at the time as well, and imagined owning an amazing horse who would fulfill them. They did in fact buy me a horse that year, a 10-year old 15HH quarter horse who wasn't the horse I was going to go out and win lots of stuff on, but who was a very appropriate first horse for a kid (I doubt my project made them go from nay to yay -- they were, in fairness, probably thinking of doing it anyway). The learning curve was huge, as I quickly discovered there is a world of difference between riding school horses in lessons and occasionally sitting on a privately owned one and then owning your own horse. I learned how little I actually knew, even though I did loads of research on horses, had been taking lessons twice per week, and read every horsey book imaginable. Then I had this horse and realized that in spite of all that, I didn't have a clue and I had to get one quickly. That horse wasn't remotely the fanciest thing in the barn, but she was worth a million bucks because she taught me a ton! I don't think any relatively inexperienced first time owner is in the best position to maintain and bring on a super hot competition horse. Most people, kids and adults, need something basically sane and sound that won't kill them when they make mistakes. Because everyone will.
As others have said, if OP lowers her ambitions a wee bit and focuses on getting an appropriate horse to get mileage at low level events with, that will sound a lot more feasable to her parents.
As others have said, if OP lowers her ambitions a wee bit and focuses on getting an appropriate horse to get mileage at low level events with, that will sound a lot more feasable to her parents.
GlamourDol
Well-Known Member
A trailer? OP if you are wanting to do teams, it will mean a lot of time staying away and a lot of UK/international travel.
It isn't just a case of hitching a trailer to the back of the family car. You will need a lorry.
If you want to PM me, by all means do, I missed ponies but did Juniors, and maybe I can give you some realistic information on just how difficult and time consuming it is.
I do think though, give them the letter, what is the worst thing they can say?
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Jo_x
Well-Known Member
I went to the pony europeans a couple of years ago (spectating not riding, but we camped out in my friends lorry in the lorry park with all the competitors)... some of the foreigners turned up in trailers. Yes a lorry is easier, but its perfectly possible to stay in nearby B&Bs. I believe for the pony europeans this year the team ponies were all trucked out in one lorry and the riders flew out separately.
hnmisty
Well-Known Member
OP needs to add b&b costs to her list then! (Not digging, but yet another cost that either hasn't been considered thoroughly, or considered at all).
GlamourDol
Well-Known Member
Yes for the europeans they do all go together. But you will be expected to compete internationally, and I don't think you can assume someone else will be willing to put your pony on their lorry. Again, the added expense of B&B's both here and abroad need to be added.
sez1
Well-Known Member
There will be a maximum of 6 events I stay away at whilst with this pony. Brand hall, weston park and PC championships. I know that girls at my pony club stay over in each others lorrys whilst at the championships so that's fine. Brand hall an weston park I might not even be qualified/ selected to go.
One minute people are telling me my aims are too big and won't get there. The next people are saying I have to have all these things when actually you can get by easily without
TarrSteps
Well-Known Member
Different people.
I just think some people are making the point that, despite your very good research this is almost certainly going to cost more and be more complicated than you think.
I have to say too, in my boring way, that you are assuming a lot of people are going to help you out. They might but do you not think it's somewhat presumptuous - even rude - to assume other people are going to put you up, drive you around etc?
I just think some people are making the point that, despite your very good research this is almost certainly going to cost more and be more complicated than you think.
I have to say too, in my boring way, that you are assuming a lot of people are going to help you out. They might but do you not think it's somewhat presumptuous - even rude - to assume other people are going to put you up, drive you around etc?
DollyPentreath
Well-Known Member
Everyone has different opinions OP. But people wouldn't post unless they intended to help.
If this is really what you want to do then I can't stress the importance of some work experience on a professional event yard (yes, some will take you on even at 13). Without someone experienced to guide you, you will be lost.
I wrote a letter like yours to my parents at your age. But I know if I presented my parents with a total like yours at 13 they would've freaked out. Instead I budgeted a cheap pony and cheap DIY. All I wanted was a pony, for the love of ponies. Then over the years I worked my way along competitively. About 10 years later I was at Int BE. Your goals are not impossible, just unlikely. But the main question for me is; do you want a pony for the love of it (riding, horses etc) or for the kudos of competing in PTs?
Whatever you do please, please contact a pro rider so you can see what's involved behind the scenes. Most riders have websites and contact details online, why don't you go to your parents with your letter and ask if you could do some work exp on a yard in the hols?
GlamourDol
Well-Known Member
Were you not intending to do pony teams? You'll be at stay away shows a hell of a lot more than six times. I am certainly not telling you your aims are too big, just giving you a snippet of what i've experienced.
GlamourDol
Well-Known Member
Good point! Also, as dressage is such a big part of it, why not go and have a lesson on a school master. You'll at least get some insight into the difference between a RS pony and something capable of a decent should in and half pass.
The Fuzzy Furry
Old Timer
OP, I've read much on here & you seem very keen & clear with what you want
I'm an old fogey now, but I was also once a girl with dreams...... the eldest of 4 & the only girl.
My mother sold her flute to buy my 1st pony, who was kept on a shoestring in a DIY yard with over 40 others on site.
I progressed & managed to pass my PC tests (borrowing bigger one for my B test) - getting into the PC teams for PPC, tho sadly my pony was not adept enough for the fence sizes for team eventing or SJ....Pony was also shared with my brothers.
(My mother also had dreams of competing, she was head girl of one of the top showing yards of yester-year and then brought us lot up & looked after our pony which we all shared)
Fast forwards a good few years & my daughter was a lucky one, in that she had a pony before she could walk.
Over the years she had a selection of good/bad/indifferent/talented and also wicked ponies.
Yes, she got into the PC teams. HOWEVER in 3 years she did get in, the TEAM were not quite good enough to qualify for W/Park. We live in one of the most competitive areas (at that time) in the UK and despite lots of training, hiccups happened on the day for qualifying. Her best achievements instead (on paper) were riding at HOYS & Olympia several times.
I know I'm her mother, but she was also a very talented young lady.
However, if I had been presented with a plan to buy a mid-range PC pony, then I'd have told her what to do with herself
All ours were brought in at bottom end at mostly under 1k & then made from scratch ourselves. Despite competing well, daughter always had something different to cope with along the way.
I only mention the above, as you cannot plan for everything to be perfect in life & however strong your dreams are, you need to be able to work with what you have or can get - & keep.
Perhaps it may be wise to plan for something as a 'rescue plan' to show to your parents, this at least giving you the possible chance to share a pony or to perhaps loan?
Dreams are one thing but reality is something else. (types one who once wrote down exactly how she would spend her future lottery winnings, in most intricate details :biggrin3: )
I'm an old fogey now, but I was also once a girl with dreams...... the eldest of 4 & the only girl.
My mother sold her flute to buy my 1st pony, who was kept on a shoestring in a DIY yard with over 40 others on site.
I progressed & managed to pass my PC tests (borrowing bigger one for my B test) - getting into the PC teams for PPC, tho sadly my pony was not adept enough for the fence sizes for team eventing or SJ....Pony was also shared with my brothers.
(My mother also had dreams of competing, she was head girl of one of the top showing yards of yester-year and then brought us lot up & looked after our pony which we all shared)
Fast forwards a good few years & my daughter was a lucky one, in that she had a pony before she could walk.
Over the years she had a selection of good/bad/indifferent/talented and also wicked ponies.
Yes, she got into the PC teams. HOWEVER in 3 years she did get in, the TEAM were not quite good enough to qualify for W/Park. We live in one of the most competitive areas (at that time) in the UK and despite lots of training, hiccups happened on the day for qualifying. Her best achievements instead (on paper) were riding at HOYS & Olympia several times.
I know I'm her mother, but she was also a very talented young lady.
However, if I had been presented with a plan to buy a mid-range PC pony, then I'd have told her what to do with herself
All ours were brought in at bottom end at mostly under 1k & then made from scratch ourselves. Despite competing well, daughter always had something different to cope with along the way.
I only mention the above, as you cannot plan for everything to be perfect in life & however strong your dreams are, you need to be able to work with what you have or can get - & keep.
Perhaps it may be wise to plan for something as a 'rescue plan' to show to your parents, this at least giving you the possible chance to share a pony or to perhaps loan?
Dreams are one thing but reality is something else. (types one who once wrote down exactly how she would spend her future lottery winnings, in most intricate details :biggrin3: )
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kirstyhen
Well-Known Member
What is actually being said is that you have this huge dream and you sound very matter of fact that its going to happen, when in reality is bloody hard work and you don't just buy a pony and get onto PT teams the next season.
The other argument is that if you somehow achieve it, you are actually under budgeting for it, so that 30K a year is going to run on and on.
Massive kudos for planning it all out and its definitely the way to go, but you are starting somewhere in the middle when you need to start at the beginning.
I teach a LOT of 13 year old girls, some a good little riders, we have some tricky ponies and they have a lot of experience as we have our own XC course and hold show jumping once a week. Unless one of them found themselves some very intensive ( expensive!) training over the winter, no way would they be ready to compete in PTs.
What several of them have done is get a nice pony, been very successful at PC and local shows and now thinking about affiliated whatever.
That's where you need to start, then by all means carry on chasing your big dream!
Holding
Well-Known Member
With all due respect OP - if an inexperienced 13 year old could school a pony for PT teams in a season, then why would they be changing hands for such immense amounts of money?
I was exactly the same as you when I was your age (I desperately wanted to be a famous showjumper like Rupert Campbell-Black, because I didn't know the names of any real life showjumpers) and I had to make do with working at riding schools, sharing and loaning, and eventually working and training at a proper yard - I didn't buy my first horse until I was 24. By which point the idea of jumping competitively was fairly horrifying. I had a selection of difficult/elderly/downright insane horses on loan, none of which I ever competed, and all of which I adored because just riding anything was the most wonderful thing in the world. If you really want a horse, my advice would be - manage your expectations, and have a look for a decent schoolmaster for loan. Learn all you can, have as many lessons as you can, and don't forget that just having a horse to ride at all is amazing, regardless of what level your friends are competing about. And by the time you're my age, you might well be into a completely discipline.
I was exactly the same as you when I was your age (I desperately wanted to be a famous showjumper like Rupert Campbell-Black, because I didn't know the names of any real life showjumpers) and I had to make do with working at riding schools, sharing and loaning, and eventually working and training at a proper yard - I didn't buy my first horse until I was 24. By which point the idea of jumping competitively was fairly horrifying. I had a selection of difficult/elderly/downright insane horses on loan, none of which I ever competed, and all of which I adored because just riding anything was the most wonderful thing in the world. If you really want a horse, my advice would be - manage your expectations, and have a look for a decent schoolmaster for loan. Learn all you can, have as many lessons as you can, and don't forget that just having a horse to ride at all is amazing, regardless of what level your friends are competing about. And by the time you're my age, you might well be into a completely discipline.
OliveBuffy1129
Well-Known Member
OP, I admire you for setting your aims high but I can say from experience that it isn't that easy to work your way up to the top PT in a season or 2. I myself was bought a decent pony with aims to BE, here I am 2 months later and I havent even competed her and she was a fair amount of money. There are lots more costs involved in having a pony and competing. I have aimed to event all my life, I have been riding since I was 2 and have been through 3 or 4 ponies and still I havent found the right pony to take me to the top. Maybe just aim to do Pony Club teams and Unaff competitions before aiming yourself at affiliated if you havent got the experience competing? x
superpony
Well-Known Member
I admire your drive and determination. I would say take any and every opportunity you are given.. riding horses for people, work experience at yards and just watching people ride/lessons in the flesh and on youtube etc. Its amazing the amount you can learn from watching others.
I got a pony at your age, my parents were always determined I wouldn't have one. However I got one on part loan and after a few months he was put up for sale so my lovely parents very kindly bought him. (Here is a perfect example of an opportunity that can lead to something else!) He was 5 at the time and he is quite a sporty type.. as others have said I didn't realise how little I knew until I got him but we learnt together and ten years later despite various injuries etc he has taken me to BD competitions including various Championships.
So I would say by all mean give your parents the letter but also learn, learn, learn and take every chance you get to do anything related with eventing/horses as you never know where it can lead and a lot of it is also about networking.. so the more people you know the better chance you have of getting opportunities. Good luck.
I got a pony at your age, my parents were always determined I wouldn't have one. However I got one on part loan and after a few months he was put up for sale so my lovely parents very kindly bought him. (Here is a perfect example of an opportunity that can lead to something else!) He was 5 at the time and he is quite a sporty type.. as others have said I didn't realise how little I knew until I got him but we learnt together and ten years later despite various injuries etc he has taken me to BD competitions including various Championships.
So I would say by all mean give your parents the letter but also learn, learn, learn and take every chance you get to do anything related with eventing/horses as you never know where it can lead and a lot of it is also about networking.. so the more people you know the better chance you have of getting opportunities. Good luck.
hnmisty
Well-Known Member
Yes. OP doesn't want to hear that her plan isn't very feasible (can't say I blame her too much, but you'd think the advice might start to sink in). So if she's so determined against wise counsel that she's going to make it to the top, then she needs to realise that she's under budgeted quite considerably and if her parents somehow do actually agree to this plan (unlikely), they are going to find themselves either having to sell the pony or remortgage their house to fund it all. Or OP will simply be told "you can't enter any more competitions, we can't afford it".
Sorry to be massively patronising, but I don't think OP realises exactly how far her dad's earnings go. The amount she's talking about (with her underestimations) is stretching the budget. I didn't at her age. It's only now I'm "grown up" and earning myself that I realise why my parents never had as money lying around as I thought they should!
ester
Not slacking multitasking
I'm confused at how much is being actually spent on the pony - as it says 6k in the budget but in the insurance states value as significantly less than that at the start (and fwiw OP noone would use E&L to insure )
Am not sure you would get a potential (in 2 years) pony trials pony for 6k anyway...
Regardless of the money (which also misses off diesel ) I think you must not underestimate how much of a time commitment is going to required from your parents in order for you to get sufficient lessons and entries to be competitive.
) Am not sure you would get a potential (in 2 years) pony trials pony for 6k anyway...
Regardless of the money (which also misses off diesel
) I think you must not underestimate how much of a time commitment is going to required from your parents in order for you to get sufficient lessons and entries to be competitive.LynH
Well-Known Member
OP have you had any conversations with your parents about having a pony? I think it's commendable that you have given so much thought into finances etc but I really don't understand why you havent just spoken to your parents about it at all. If your parents do agree to you having a pony then surely it makes sense to find this out sooner rather than later so you can use what is left of the school holidays to look and try out ponies irrespective of the type of pony you buy and how much your parents are willing to contribute. If you leave asking them much longer then I would suspect any parent would then say to wait until the next school holidays or even next summer.
Are your parents difficult to talk to?
Are your parents difficult to talk to?
ahml100
Well-Known Member
Right just realised that it missed of half the response! Have you thought of getting a really fun grassroots pony and try giving badminton grassroots a try? as that itself will be a huge achievement! by spending 3 years doing that would give you the most fantastic building blocks and would probably be a whole lot cheaper! Plus, a good GP saddle is really fine for all 3 disciplines. Then when you outgrown ponies and move onto horses you can be really competive at the ONU18 level and start the journey to trials (obviously if everything goes well). and a pony that goes consistently well at grassroots will be really wanted by other people! plus, when you are 16 have you thought about maybe taking up a working pupil position? hope my post is not to preachy! I just don't want you to make the same mistakes that I made!