Letting novice friend ride my horses???

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Kayleehan

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I have three horses, two being the ones in work and they are fairly green, not nasty or dangerous as such but they will pock up bad habits quickly and there is a ceetain way they need to be ridden. My friend has nothing to ride, so i feel bad not offering her one, but she is a novice and while my horses are *safe* enough for her to ride, she rides them all wrong, forces an outline, isnt capable of getting three balanced paces out of them so really shouldnt be jumping. Would you let them ride? I teach but id feel very awkward teaching her how to ride, would it be rude to say she can ride them but i want to give them some lowkey lessons while she gets used to them? Worried about all my hard work being undone :( Thanks
 
They’re your horses, so if you’re not comfortable don’t offer the ride.

However, what I will say, is that I was very fortunate as a novice rider to be offered the ride on multiple horses owned by a friend - both green and experienced (up to intermediate eventer, hunters and a show jumper). And the experience it gave me was absolutely invaluable. I never took offence at direction and rode them as told to.
 
Firstly, if you don't feel she is capable of jumping them, even if you are willing to let her ride I think it's fine to say you are not happy for her to jump them.

If you're willing to give her a few lessons and a horse to ride for free then I think most people would jump at the chance! If she doesn't want to do that, then there is your answer!

Alternatively, could you go out for a few hacks together? It might be better than her riding them in the school.

But, ultimately, even if you don't think she is dangerous, I think it is fine to say you are not happy for her to ride or put conditions on her riding e.g. you must be present/she must ride a certain way/no jumping/must take lessons with an instructor you trust, and so on!
 
Has she asked to ride them? As it doesn't sound that way from your post, and I think it would avoid trouble if you just didn't offer!
If she's asked or you really feel like you should offer then for me it would only be on the condition that she had lessons with you - you can use the horses green-ness as the reason for it so as to try and avoid offending her.

Ets - I share a horse whose capabilities are way above my own, I was very fortunate the owner took a chance on me, and the condition was just that I have lessons on him - to start with that was fortnightly, nowadays (4 or 5 years on) it's monthly. I wasn't offended, I was delighted - it was/is a great opportunity to learn, but I had that attitude, rather than one of thinking I knew it all/was already good enough etc. So your friends likely attitude towards it is worth considering, but given as you really don't sound sure, I'm not sure I'd want to get too involved if I were you.
 
Amymay said:
They’re your horses, so if you’re not comfortable don’t offer the ride.

However, what I will say, is that I was very fortunate as a novice rider to be offered the ride on multiple horses owned by a friend - both green and experienced (up to intermediate eventer, hunters and a show jumper). And the experience it gave me was absolutely invaluable. I never took offence at direction and rode them as told to.
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Yeah, I really want to let her as I'd hate to have nothing to ride if it was me!! I feel very awkward telling people im friends with what to do haha
 
chaps89 said:
Has she asked to ride them? As it doesn't sound that way from your post, and I think it would avoid trouble if you just didn't offer!
If she's asked or you really feel like you should offer then for me it would only be on the condition that she had lessons with you - you can use the horses green-ness as the reason for it so as to try and avoid offending her.
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Shes hinted, and i really should offer we are good friends and she has nothing to ride. That seems the best idea i think! Ty
 
I would just explain the situation to her. If she is a good friend she will understand that she needs to be with instruction. Probably she will be delighted about the opportunity to learn. Also I don't think that there is anything wrong with saying that it can only be occasional as they are in training, and if you see bad habits creeping in to stop for a while. Might do both her and the horses the world of good, but they are green so you need to be in control. A good friend will not be offended by this.
 
I think offering a ride is fine but you may have to stress you don't want your horses ridden a certain way, and only let her ride when your there so you can keep an on what she is doing.

I have a novice friend ride mine but she is more of a passenger type novice rather than someone who thinks they can ride and saws at the horses mouth, which I kind of don't mind as she isn't really doing any damage or harm to them, or undoing anything I have taught them.
 
Meowy Catkin said:
Would she be safe to hack out?

I was thinking that you could hack together. Quiet rides, mostly in walk with no 'outline', no jumping etc... but you can have a good chat and hopefully an enjoyable time. I would not let her ride one of the horses without you being there.
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Yes we have done! She wants to school too though
 
Pinkvboots said:
I think offering a ride is fine but you may have to stress you don't want your horses ridden a certain way, and only let her ride when your there so you can keep an on what she is doing.

I have a novice friend ride mine but she is more of a passenger type novice rather than someone who thinks they can ride and saws at the horses mouth, which I kind of don't mind as she isn't really doing any damage or harm to them, or undoing anything I have taught them.
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Yeah... she doesnt do anything nasty/thinks shes knows it all but the way shes been taught isnt what i agree with/would ever teach
 
A slightly different thing but I'm looking for a horse to share at the moment and would absolutely not be offended if the owner wanted me to have lessons/supervise me riding, especially to begin with. I would also be so pleased to have the opportunity to ride that if they asked me to stay in walk and trot only for a while I'd not mind at all.
 
Kayleehan said:
Yes we have done! She wants to school too though
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Well from what you've said I wouldn't let her school or have a lesson on one of mine, even the old girl. If the hacking worked for you and didn't negatively affect the horse, offer her another hack. If she presses to ride them in the school just say no or maybe say that you enjoy hacking with her and that they are green in the school (if you want to give an explanation). They are your horses and you do not owe anyone free rides full stop, but especially ones that you are uncomfortable with.
 
Kayleehan said:
Yes thats one of my concerns :( they need firm riding sometimes
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sounds similar to mine then, she’s a typical native mare and can sense weakness a mile off! I told them time and time again do not just go large around the school, do circles, serpentine, shallow loop etc to keep her thinking and on the aids and low and behold when they had a lesson and the instructor asked her to come off the track my pony crabbed, span, stopped etc. It took me months to nip it in the bud. It’s just not worth it!
 
ownedbyaconnie said:
sounds similar to mine then, she’s a typical native mare and can sense weakness a mile off! I told them time and time again do not just go large around the school, do circles, serpentine, shallow loop etc to keep her thinking and on the aids and low and behold when they had a lesson and the instructor asked her to come off the track my pony crabbed, span, stopped etc. It took me months to nip it in the bud. It’s just not worth it!
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I think I might just be there everytime i do let them ride I cant afford for her to gain bad habits
 
Kayleehan said:
Yeah... she doesnt do anything nasty/thinks shes knows it all but the way shes been taught isnt what i agree with/would ever teach
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It is more of an issue with novice riders that think they know best, I let another friend of a friend try one of mine, she really got after him and her reins were like washing lines, I kept saying shorten your reins she didn't listen hence to say he took off across the school with her and she nearly came off. Funnily enough she didn't ask to ride again!

My other friend I mentioned before she likes me to give her little lessons and wants to learn, although my horse does take advantage of her a bit it's not terrible and she doesn't take risks or wind him up, so it's a much better situation and it's safe enough for both of them.
 
Kayleehan said:
Yes we have done! She wants to school too though
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To school is to educate, if she is a novice she can not really teach them anything. As they are not established I would suggest you stick to hacking, and say you do not want them confused, by different riders. Really she does not have a right to ride anything, so do not feel pressured.
 
Kayleehan said:
Yes we have done! She wants to school too though
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If you told her that they are currently too green for her to ride in the school, and you don't think it would be a good experience for either of them at the moment, how do you think she would take it? If you don't feel able to have an honest conversation about it, then I don't think her riding them in the school would be a good idea.

Personally, as someone who's currently horseless, I'm more than happy to just hack out with friends! I do enjoy hacking though- if she doesn't or you don't have great hacking, it may be a bit different.
 
Pinkvboots said:
It is more of an issue with novice riders that think they know best, I let another friend of a friend try one of mine, she really got after him and her reins were like washing lines, I kept saying shorten your reins she didn't listen hence to say he took off across the school with her and she nearly came off. Funnily enough she didn't ask to ride again!
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A friend had this. She had a girl who exercised her old ex racehorse for her. One day this girl allowed a friend to ride him despite being told never to let anyone else on him. She apparently kicked him into a trot, he took off up the road and she was leaning back pulling on the reins totally useless. Ended up coming off backwards and was killed. As you can imagine this was a horribly upsetting experience for all concerned. Such a tragedy just because someone thought they could ride. The horse was a lovely quiet old boy, should never have happened.
 
Horses are precious and expensive.
It might be harder to terminate this arrangement than not start it in the first place?

I think attitude is everything, I had my fair share of free rides when I was younger and had not been taught very well. Therefore if I could afford lessons I would have been happy to have them. The reality probably being that I couldn't have at the time- could your friend?

I've had plenty of novices on mine but that was because he was established, we didnt' have aims, and we weren't competing. I didn't have to worry about him, his biggest taking the pee of his novice sharer was to see exactly how slowly he could get away with walking when hacking in summer, to the point where random people commented on it :o
 
You could always offer her the rides, but say you want to give her a couple of lessons first. If she’s not up for it then dont offer the rides. If she is then you can assess. I’m sure your friend will be grateful of being given the opportunity, (hopefully!)
 
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