Liking the "theory" of competing... But "reality" is different?

[MrsMozart]

That's not what we're saying, it's not just about hard work and dedication, if it was there would be a lot more Olympic gold medallists amongst us. It's about relevant hard work, a careful management system (as Tarrsteps often points out 'it takes a village') and a whole heap of other stuff - and yes, you're right, probably a good old dollop of luck in there as well.

What it isn't, is sitting dreaming about it, hoping it'll all work out, and then getting despondent when (surprise surprise) it doesn't happen.

And just to repeat the old quote (can't remember who said it off hand) - "The harder I work, the luckier I get"

This ^^

It's about doing it all and not aweeping and awailing when things go wrong; or, at least, having a weep and a wail and then cracking on for the next time . If someone doesn't have it in them to keep giving it a go (no detriment, that's just how they are), then stop doing it.

I speak as someone who knows it all only two well! The short story, for me, is in six and a half years-ish: two horses, huge vets bills, the two horses put to sleep; a broken back, a bleed on the brain, a cracked elbow, a broken wrist (these last four were me); a hubby close to throwing in the towel because he kept seeing me crying/hurt/broken/broken hearted; the £££ I'd spent on buying the horses. All to get me around Hickstead. That was my dream, not four unaffiliated dressage tests. Now so much older in all ways, I have a horse from the market away being backed by one of the best guys around, and y'know what, I'll just be over the moon if the horse and I get to grow old together. Acknowledge, accept, adapt, move on.

 

[loobylu]

I completely agree with you OP. I work my absolute arse off day in day out with my horse. He is hot, sensitive and honestly an absolute arse but the most talented horse I have ever ridden. I have regular lessons, I prepare well, I educate myself I'm absolutely obsessed. This horse is the only horse I have ever owned and I have had him for 5 years. In that time I have always and only ever wanted to event. Every time we ever got close in the past he either went lame, had colic surgery or I went to university. Last year we finally managed 2 BE events until his feet fell apart. This year we have done one unaff ODE and Northallerton BE today. He pulled a shoe off XC schooling last weekend taking half his foot off with it. Farrier came and shod him on wednesday then just as I got on for the dressage today he pulled it off again. He is awful to handle at shows and destroys anything within a 5m radius of him. I get so stressed out at shows because he is so awful on the ground, and I am just so desperate to compete after I spend MONTHS preparing, obsessing, Paying out all the time (with money I don't have lol) sacrificing everything else in my life to do this that yes it really does upset me when I get there and it all goes to pot. It's clear I put too much pressure on myself as I am never mad at his performance it's my crap riding that lets us down and his awful behaviour makes it all 100000 times worse. Would I ever quite? No. but to those of you saying its purely hard work and dedication have obviously got lady luck on their side!!!!

Now, I'm not saying that you should do this, but I'd guess that many of the people out doing what you want to do will have sold/ retired a frustrating ride who they couldn't make progress with, or bought another to run alongside if money available.

 

[Prince33Sp4rkle]

I completely agree with you OP. I work my absolute arse off day in day out with my horse. He is hot, sensitive and honestly an absolute arse but the most talented horse I have ever ridden. I have regular lessons, I prepare well, I educate myself I'm absolutely obsessed. This horse is the only horse I have ever owned and I have had him for 5 years. In that time I have always and only ever wanted to event. Every time we ever got close in the past he either went lame, had colic surgery or I went to university. Last year we finally managed 2 BE events until his feet fell apart. This year we have done one unaff ODE and Northallerton BE today. He pulled a shoe off XC schooling last weekend taking half his foot off with it. Farrier came and shod him on wednesday then just as I got on for the dressage today he pulled it off again. He is awful to handle at shows and destroys anything within a 5m radius of him. I get so stressed out at shows because he is so awful on the ground, and I am just so desperate to compete after I spend MONTHS preparing, obsessing, Paying out all the time (with money I don't have lol) sacrificing everything else in my life to do this that yes it really does upset me when I get there and it all goes to pot. It's clear I put too much pressure on myself as I am never mad at his performance it's my crap riding that lets us down and his awful behaviour makes it all 100000 times worse. Would I ever quite? No. but to those of you saying its purely hard work and dedication have obviously got lady luck on their side!!!!

Bull.
Sound like he needs to go to more shows without competing and thus learn not to be a jerk...and get his feet sorted out.
Two things you can work on that will make life less stressful.

You make luck happen, it doesn't just land on the privileged few!

 

[JFTDWS]

You make luck happen, it doesn't just land on the privileged few!

I don't know... I think some people are luckier than others.

Or rather, as a scientist I believe that there is a normal distribution of the frequency of good things happening to an individual - some people have a high frequency, most people are in the middle and some poor sods are at the bottom left hand side of the bell shaped curve...

 

[TarrSteps]

Here's the thing about hard work and luck. The former doesn't guarantee the latter. But if you don't do the work you definitely can't capitalise on the luck if and when it comes.

If you really believe the world has it in for you and nothing will change that, go to bed and stay there because there isn't any point in trying, is there?

Re the horse not staying sound to do the job, then it's not the right horse for the job. You have to decide which is more important, to keep the horse or do the job. That may sound harsh but we all know you don't get everything you want in life just because you want it. If it's a case of training then we're back to the work conversation. I don't personally believe every horse can or even should be trained to do any job but your choice has to be governed by your own opinion.

Also, luck is often in the eye of the beholder. Something like going off to school isn't 'unlucky', it's. . .life.

 

[Lolo]

I don't know... I think some people are luckier than others.

Or rather, as a scientist I believe that there is a normal distribution of the frequency of good things happening to an individual - some people have a high frequency, most people are in the middle and some poor sods are at the bottom left hand side of the bell shaped curve...

This. I do think hard work makes good luck, but some people do start off with an advantage- if your parents earnt good money and you're from an affluent family or a very horsey family you start several rungs higher than the pony mad child scrapping for riding lessons once a week.

But things like that you can't change so there's no point in dwelling on them. It makes you bitter and I think ultimately limits success because how can you really move forwards when you spend all your time looking sideways?

I was thinking about how lucky Al was to be where she is because of this post. She was very lucky to find Reg, and very lucky that his owner is as perfect as she is. She's lucky that she found someone who has connections in the eventing world. And she's lucky that our parents are as supportive as they can be, and that my brother and I have fairly cheap aspirations! But beyond that she has made her own success, no matter how small the scale.

We've all had shockers of days where no one got hurt and everyone got home, but really you'd rather they never happened. We had one where the front of the lorry fell off going over the Orwell bridge in gales, Al fell off in the water, I forgot my jumping bit so did both jumping phases so fast I can only remember the absolute certainty I had that I was going to die going XC. We broke two headcollars, Al forgot her test and I broke my gaiters getting ready. And then we had to wait for hours to get home because the front of the lorry was still in the River Orwell. And on the way home we got diverted, sent down a country lane despite saying we couldn't do that because we were in a horse lorry, got stuck and caused what felt like the world's biggest traffic jam.

Didn't return to that venue for a few years...

 

[TarrSteps]

We've all had shockers of days where no one got hurt and everyone got home, but really you'd rather they never happened. We had one where the front of the lorry fell off going over the Orwell bridge in gales, Al fell off in the water, I forgot my jumping bit so did both jumping phases so fast I can only remember the absolute certainty I had that I was going to die going XC. We broke two headcollars, Al forgot her test and I broke my gaiters getting ready. And then we had to wait for hours to get home because the front of the lorry was still in the River Orwell. And on the way home we got diverted, sent down a country lane despite saying we couldn't do that because we were in a horse lorry, got stuck and caused what felt like the world's biggest traffic jam.

Didn't return to that venue for a few years...

I know it's mean, but I laughed. It was a rueful laugh though because we've all had those days. It's all part of the experience and they do give you perspective! I remember one weekend alone that encompassed, in no particular order:

A loose horse running down the side of a highway. Twice.

Being honked and jeered at as I chased said horse down the side of the highway. Have I mentioned the horse flies the size of Renault Clios?

Being pulled over the breast bar of the trailer with such force my hand was bleeding and my shoulder ceased functioning. Then having to ride a dressage test with said bandaged hand and being berated by the judge when I asked to be excused from wearing a glove.

A flat tire. No spare.

Being one of only half a dozen entries to do my dressage while xc was running in a ring directly adjacent to the start. Average +20 pp for our special little group.

One horse washing out so badly it collapsed.

My trainer getting into a fight with the the dressage judge.

One horse expanding his temporarily stable over night.

Getting completely run off with xc (see above note of non functioning hand and arm) being scared witless and coming in 45 sec under time, which gets you about a million TFTPs.

Opening the trailer to find one horse had managed to rub every last plait out. The horse that basically never stood still at an event and went vertical if you tried to force him.

Over hearing two of my fellow competitors discussing how lucky I was to have my very nice horse (true!) and all my family support (so far from the truth as to be delusional) and how happy they were to see me have a crap day.

Having to find rides home for two horses because said trailer was still broken and said trainer hadn't sorted it by the time we had to leave.

NOW I laugh about it. At the time, not so much.

I've never had this elusive 'perfect' day. Some have definitely been luckier - and better planned and executed - than others but, with horses, you can almost guarantee glitches. It's up to you whether one is worth the other.

 

[khalswitz]

I completely agree with you OP. I work my absolute arse off day in day out with my horse. He is hot, sensitive and honestly an absolute arse but the most talented horse I have ever ridden. I have regular lessons, I prepare well, I educate myself I'm absolutely obsessed. This horse is the only horse I have ever owned and I have had him for 5 years. In that time I have always and only ever wanted to event. Every time we ever got close in the past he either went lame, had colic surgery or I went to university. Last year we finally managed 2 BE events until his feet fell apart. This year we have done one unaff ODE and Northallerton BE today. He pulled a shoe off XC schooling last weekend taking half his foot off with it. Farrier came and shod him on wednesday then just as I got on for the dressage today he pulled it off again. He is awful to handle at shows and destroys anything within a 5m radius of him. I get so stressed out at shows because he is so awful on the ground, and I am just so desperate to compete after I spend MONTHS preparing, obsessing, Paying out all the time (with money I don't have lol) sacrificing everything else in my life to do this that yes it really does upset me when I get there and it all goes to pot. It's clear I put too much pressure on myself as I am never mad at his performance it's my crap riding that lets us down and his awful behaviour makes it all 100000 times worse. Would I ever quite? No. but to those of you saying its purely hard work and dedication have obviously got lady luck on their side!!!!

My horse used to be a barsteward to handle/warm up/ride full stop at shows, as he was so stressy. It took lots of regular outings to small shows where he wasn't expected to really perform - ie 60cm/cross pole classes, intro dressage, etc - before he started to settle down and behave. It's taken six months of going out at least three weekends out of four, and sometimes going out twice in one weekend, as well as having lessons at venues etc.

If I hadn't put all that time and money into getting him settled without really 'achieving' anything, I would still be in tears after he bucked me off in the warmup AGAIN at almost every show. I agree luck is a big part, but I do believe you make a percentage of your own luck.

When I started working in horses my old boss told me that getting to the top takes hard work, money, and luck - and that to achieve at any level you need at least two of the above. I can't guarantee the luck, so I work blooming hard (and hard on the right things with a good plan) and spend as much money as I can afford.

 

[LPL]

He has had a hell of a lot of exposure to shows. I work hard to prep in all 3 phases. We don't haut trundle along to the odd show and expect to win. I have to be economical with outings as well I still have to rely on my dad for lifts and he certainly does not want to go out every weekend. I spread my time between lessons, comps and practice.

He is just a dick on the ground just bargy rude and never stands still as soon as you sit on his back he is a lamb. I could really do with a spare person to sit on him whilst I get ready. And also it isn't all the time - just most of the time lol - 2 weeks ago he stood quietly for 5 hours at an unaff ODE whilst we waited for sj to start. But that was a real rarity.

His feet did get sorted he had 3 months off without shoes and very careful management through winter and unfortunately pulled off a shoe and took half his foot off with it last week whilst we were xc schooling for a last practice before this weekend. It got fixed but UNLUCKILY it just seemed to flick off before the dressage. Nothing happened it just seemed to sling off.

I must be coming across as a dreamer but when finances are so limited, time is limited and you still have to rely on your non horsey dad to take you to and help at shows (when he absolutely hates it) it is really hard work. I'm not saying I don't love the hard work. I'd jack it in if I couldn't be arsed believe me. But it doesn't mean I can't be frustrated when our hard work isn't paid off because of stupid circumstances.

Buying a new or another horse to run alongside this beast just is not an option I literally have no money. The horse I have isn't worth anything to any one else. It's put up with it (and have a grumble) or don't do it at all which is just not an option.

JFTD I love that and certainly agree haha.

 

[TGM]

I don't think anyone would claim that luck doesn't play a part at all. Of course there are times when you do all the preparation, put in all the work, make the right choices and still things go wrong. Some things are genuinely down to bad luck - being stuck on the motorway for hours due to an accident when you are on the way to a competition, for example. However, when you then add preventable problems onto the unpreventable ones, then the day gets even worse. For example, let's say you are unavoidably delayed on the way to a competition, and arrive with only minutes to warm up. If you then can't find your gloves because you haven't packed the lorry in an orderly fashion, you get even more delayed and stressed, then your horse picks up on that and plays up when you try and get him ready, and then you forget to tighten the girth properly because you are in such a rush, so the saddle slips as you get on, so horse even more stressed, you have to get off and redo the saddle, and the day goes from bad to worse.

So basically, if you focus on preventing the preventable, when the unpreventable happens it has less impact on your day.

 

[merlinsquest]

I had prepared well for yesterday's show. Coach informs me on weds she is jumping well & you can see miles out she is going. Bathed polished & beautified we arrived in plenty of time. Entered tacked up walked course & warmed up. So far so good! Entered the ring , bell rings, me feeling confident as a result of good prep gets a little in front of her at first fence,she spooks & props & I fell off. Fabulous end to the day!

 

[Flame_]

The idea that you can make your own luck is ridiculous. Luck is the thing that accounts for what you can't control. Its the thing that can give you a fortunate outcome despite bad planning, poor skills, general uselessness, etc, or a terrible outcome even after giving it blood, sweat and tears, bottomless finances and preparation down to the last letter. Its not something that you can influence - that is judgement and consequences. Luck is the element to the outcome that throws it up in the air, and it probably does work out fairly equally in the long term between people how often you get luck go your way or not.

The point is not to attribute things to bad luck that you DO have control or influence over.

 

[TarrSteps]

He has had a hell of a lot of exposure to shows. I work hard to prep in all 3 phases. We don't haut trundle along to the odd show and expect to win. I have to be economical with outings as well I still have to rely on my dad for lifts and he certainly does not want to go out every weekend. I spread my time between lessons, comps and practice.

He is just a dick on the ground just bargy rude and never stands still as soon as you sit on his back he is a lamb. I could really do with a spare person to sit on him whilst I get ready. And also it isn't all the time - just most of the time lol - 2 weeks ago he stood quietly for 5 hours at an unaff ODE whilst we waited for sj to start. But that was a real rarity.

His feet did get sorted he had 3 months off without shoes and very careful management through winter and unfortunately pulled off a shoe and took half his foot off with it last week whilst we were xc schooling for a last practice before this weekend. It got fixed but UNLUCKILY it just seemed to flick off before the dressage. Nothing happened it just seemed to sling off.

I must be coming across as a dreamer but when finances are so limited, time is limited and you still have to rely on your non horsey dad to take you to and help at shows (when he absolutely hates it) it is really hard work. I'm not saying I don't love the hard work. I'd jack it in if I couldn't be arsed believe me. But it doesn't mean I can't be frustrated when our hard work isn't paid off because of stupid circumstances.

Buying a new or another horse to run alongside this beast just is not an option I literally have no money. The horse I have isn't worth anything to any one else. It's put up with it (and have a grumble) or don't do it at all which is just not an option.

JFTD I love that and certainly agree haha.

By your own admission you have limited time, money, and opportunity. Therefore you can expect limited results. You may not be able to change many aspects of your situation but you can manage your expectations.

 

[Prince33Sp4rkle]

also, if he is (by your own admission)bargy and rude then you CAN work on that.

 

[TarrSteps]

also, if he is (by your own admission)bargy and rude then you CAN work on that.

I came back to add this but PS beat me to it. I understand you can't reproduce the competitive situation but you certainly can get the ground work absolutely spot on at home and that will help if you are dedicated about it. I do a lot of work with problem loaders, spooky horses etc and there are almost always obvious holes in the groundwork/slow work that don't seem to be a problem when the horse isn't stressed but are the seeds of what goes wrong under pressure. It's not some magic cure but if you are limited in what you can do it's a cheap and easy element to improve.

 

[Goldenstar]

Someone very very sucessful once told me " to be a competitor you have to lose your losers limp " and he won a gold medal on a very alternative horse .
What he meant was to be be a sucessful competitor you just can't say if I am not sucessful because of x y z you have to push through the issues by completely positive planning .
This a mental training thing .
To Fail to plan and is to plan to fail.
However you don't ' need ' to complete to enjoy training a horse and owning it's perfectly valid to keep a lovely horse at home enjoying training it and owning it if you don't want to complete ( or are conflicted about competing that's me btw ) .
You don't have to spend a fortune in money and hours training a horse if you like to hack but to enjoy yourself I think you need to honest with yourself about what you want to do.
Bad days are learning experiances and it's perfectly possible to have fun on a not successful day as long as it does not involve a trip to causality ,that IME is a spoilt day .
Strive to achieve what you decide to do within the allowances of what you have plan diligently use your time wisely.
If you don't want to do it don't .
Honestly with yourself is the key to contentment in this area .

 

[khalswitz]

He has had a hell of a lot of exposure to shows. I work hard to prep in all 3 phases. We don't haut trundle along to the odd show and expect to win. I have to be economical with outings as well I still have to rely on my dad for lifts and he certainly does not want to go out every weekend. I spread my time between lessons, comps and practice.

He is just a dick on the ground just bargy rude and never stands still as soon as you sit on his back he is a lamb. I could really do with a spare person to sit on him whilst I get ready. And also it isn't all the time - just most of the time lol - 2 weeks ago he stood quietly for 5 hours at an unaff ODE whilst we waited for sj to start. But that was a real rarity.

His feet did get sorted he had 3 months off without shoes and very careful management through winter and unfortunately pulled off a shoe and took half his foot off with it last week whilst we were xc schooling for a last practice before this weekend. It got fixed but UNLUCKILY it just seemed to flick off before the dressage. Nothing happened it just seemed to sling off.

I must be coming across as a dreamer but when finances are so limited, time is limited and you still have to rely on your non horsey dad to take you to and help at shows (when he absolutely hates it) it is really hard work. I'm not saying I don't love the hard work. I'd jack it in if I couldn't be arsed believe me. But it doesn't mean I can't be frustrated when our hard work isn't paid off because of stupid circumstances.

Buying a new or another horse to run alongside this beast just is not an option I literally have no money. The horse I have isn't worth anything to any one else. It's put up with it (and have a grumble) or don't do it at all which is just not an option.

JFTD I love that and certainly agree haha.

By your own admission you have limited time, money, and opportunity. Therefore you can expect limited results. You may not be able to change many aspects of your situation but you can manage your expectations.

I don't even have an unhorsy dad to give me lifts. I have nothing. I therefore hack, up to an hour and a half, in wind, rain, sleet etc. I have no one to help me, so have to pack everything in saddle bags, and plan my times to perfection as I have no where to tie. I also earn next to nothing, and an sometimes counting pennies for fuel and entries. I still did all the above.

Obviously not everyone would, and I do regularly get told to take things less seriously and get reminded Im not at 4*, but I am always organised, prepared, put in the training both at home and competing (practicing competing is still training!) and despite my cheap, not particularly well conformed ex racer with a Serious attitude, am finally seeing some results.

But then I look at these things as obstacles to overcome not excuses for my poor results.

 

[LPL]

I did that until I got him. I used to hack to all my shows with my pony by myself.
He isn't bad on the ground at home though. He is fine. I own a horse to compete I don't enjoy mucking out or hacking around that isn't why I own a horse. If I couldn't compete I wouldn't have one.

Also might add my results aren't even bad hahaha we most people would be happy with them and I am but that doesn't mean that the reality of competing is much more stressful and irritating than the theory. And it's always nice to be in the ribbons isn't it?

 

[JFTDWS]

Someone very very sucessful once told me " to be a competitor you have to lose your losers limp " and he won a gold medal on a very alternative horse .

I guess that falls under the mentality of bouncing back up whenever you're knocked down. I don't know how people do that, though - are they just so arrogant they don't consider that they might be wrong, or not capable, or just sufficiently self-assured. As an individual, how do you tell if you're blinkered to the truth (that you're not up to it) or that you've just had some set backs?

I'm just musing. I think too much...

 

[Blythe Spirit]

I don't think that just because I don't compete much and I don't fancy HT's or Hunting that makes my horse an almost useless pet. I ride most days, hack, school, jump, do clear round and dressage and fun rides. my horse behaves well at all these events so he is hardly a paddock ornament. Its just that not everyone gets their kicks from going fast and jumping fences. There must be lots of dressage horses who never do more then dressage who can not be hacked or jumped but no one would say these horses are paddock ornaments surely?

 

[loobylu]

I did that until I got him. I used to hack to all my shows with my pony by myself.
He isn't bad on the ground at home though. He is fine. I own a horse to compete I don't enjoy mucking out or hacking around that isn't why I own a horse. If I couldn't compete I wouldn't have one.

Also might add my results aren't even bad hahaha we most people would be happy with them and I am but that doesn't mean that the reality of competing is much more stressful and irritating than the theory. And it's always nice to be in the ribbons isn't it?

Could you save up to sit your trailer test and speak to your Dad about whether he would be happy for you to pay to add you to his car insurance? It won't be cheap but it would give you more options to go out to training evenings etc.

 

[TGM]

I guess that falls under the mentality of bouncing back up whenever you're knocked down. I don't know how people do that, though - are they just so arrogant they don't consider that they might be wrong, or not capable, or just sufficiently self-assured. As an individual, how do you tell if you're blinkered to the truth (that you're not up to it) or that you've just had some set backs?

I'm just musing. I think too much...

I don't think it is arrogance at all. It is the mentality that when something goes wrong, rather than saying 'woe is me, I'm so unlucky' or 'I'm so crap, I'm never going to be any good', instead they analyse what actually went wrong and whether there is anything they can do to change things. They then make a plan for improvement and put it into action.

What would be arrogance would be to have a series of disasters (eg horse being eliminated at consecutive events) and just to continue on competing at the same level, without changing anything and just hoping that things might improve just by magic!

 

[Blythe Spirit]

To be fair, I don't think Valegro, Big Star or Quimbo (not even mentioning Dances With Wolves, Hickstead - I know but you can't deny he's one of the best jumpers of the current generation - or Nereo who all look a lot less ridable) would be cut out for those gigs and I bet they are all super fun to ride.

But, as you say, it's what people want to get out of it. Super sensitive horses can be fantastic to ride when they are relaxed but exhausting and not much fun when wound up. More phlegmatic types, who can keep their heads in your average fun ride may not always be the most exciting at home. If you want to compete and have an easy life, it does help to have the "right" horse for the job, which is part of that "perfect preparation" people are talking about.

Its also about what YOU are cut out for. See personally I am quite decent at flat work and experienced so I am happy and confident to train and compete my quite sharp little horse in that area. but I am NOT experienced at XC. I have never actually jumped more then 3 xc fences in a row (that would be either xc schooling or a fun ride). It always made me nervous and I was just never motivated enough to get past that as I enjoy doing what I do. So I do not feel confident to train and compete my horse at XC events. I am not saying my horse is too hot to do it, if I started small, took him training, got some lessons, joined up the training fences in 'rounds', rode out so that going fast but under control was an every day experience rather than a one off once a month, and started at tiny events. I expect I could do it. Truth is though I am not that brave - when i read posts like one above where hot young mare went crazy at clear round and reared full height in the arena several times, i think Kudos to you but that's NOT my idea of fun at all. I would almost certainly have fallen off and achieved nothing in the process except showed my horse how to terrify me! So its also about having the right horse and right rider for the job in hand!

 

[LPL]

That is my plan for the summer. I practice around the farm and I'm pretty competent now at maneuvers and we are looking at insuring me on my dads car so I can get some road exp.

I know you all think I sound like a bratty, bad loser but I really do try my best for my horse and myself and I am realistic about our abilities. I love competing and we are pretty successful I am just agreeing with the OP in that sometimes the competition experience is MUCH better in theory than in reality. Today I have forgotten about how much of a dick he was on the ground and I can only remember the storming clear XC he gave me. It's that that keeps me going and counting down the days till we're next out (Richmond 12 days lol)

 

[Henry02]

So for the avid planners... how would you suggest to someone like LPL with limited funds and transport to "prepare" the horse better? (Apart from the groundwork suggestion!)

 

[TGM]

We also have a horse who used be a pain to get ready at competitions as he can be quite hyped when he gets off the box (it doesn't help that he hunts so he is always anticipating a bit of excitement when he goes out). He has improved a lot over time, but we do find it helps to have a plan for getting ready and to be really organised. We used to leave him on the box until daughter was all kitted out ready to get on - last minute bits like whip and gloves are placed on the mounting block ready to be put on. He is then tacked up on the box, unloaded and then she is all ready to get on straightaway. And yes, he did used to paw and kick the box when he first arrived at an event, but he has since been persuaded of the error of his ways!

 

[dieseldog]

So for the avid planners... how would you suggest to someone like LPL with limited funds and transport to "prepare" the horse better? (Apart from the groundwork suggestion!)

From her posts the groundwork seems to be the biggest issue - she seems to be getting the results she wants? I think though you have to be realistic and accept that as you have limited funds that maybe doing BE is not the way forward as she could compete unaffiliated at half the cost and use the spare cash to pass her driving test and therefore make herself independent, which in the long run is a good thing to be.

 

[dieseldog]

Here is my view on things - I think people put too much pressure on themselves and try to do what they think they should be doing rather than what would actually make them happy. I've been competing for years but had a horrific accident, it utterly destroyed my confidence (and arm) and I have now made the decision to only do what I want to do and not listen to people telling me what I should be doing. If someone suggests something and I don't like the sound of it I say no, as I am not here to make them happy - its all about me - which sounds really selfish but it is my time, effort, money and horse and if I come out of it enjoying myself I really don't care about other people's views - but the funny thing is, all that your friends really want is for you to have a good time and if you are happy they are happy too.

I know that if I put the effort in then my horse is very well behaved and it will go well, however if for some reason I don't jump her for a month then she is so happy to be out that it can get a bit wild - but that isn't bad luck that she is fresh - its my fault for not jumping her enough. With luck you need to recognise it and bad luck a lot of the time is just you getting things wrong and as long as you can see that and hold your hands up it does make the day a lot more enjoyable - even for masters of disasters.

 

[TGM]

Here is my view on things - I think people put too much pressure on themselves and try to do what they think they should be doing rather than what would actually make them happy.

I agree with this entirely! I also think that forums like this can increase the pressure as people read the reports of high-achieving members and feel that they ought to be doing the same, even if they really haven't got the confidence, funds, skills, dedication, horsepower or real desire to do so!

 

[khalswitz]

So for the avid planners... how would you suggest to someone like LPL with limited funds and transport to "prepare" the horse better? (Apart from the groundwork suggestion!)

As another one with limited funds and NO transport, like I said above - lots and lots of competing. Doesn't have to be expensive - enter one class at your local unaff sj - up here its £8 a class plus £2 first aid so doable to do every week/every fortnight just for exposure. And practice what he's bad at whilst there.

When there is no lift from Dad, try asking fellow liveries (offer to pay all their petrol as this lowers their costs for going anyway, doesn't hurt to ask), or if Dad doesn't like hanging around all day which is fair, then get him to lift you and then unhitch and leave you with your things in the trailer and pick you up later. There's also van hire for specific days. If all else fails, hack. I moved yards specifically so that I could be within an hour and a half hack of three comp venues.

If you really want it, you'll find a way.

And LPL - I don't think you're bratty at all, sorry if that's how I've come across. But there are always ways to make things happen if you really want them to. Something has to change, whether it's where you are, what you're doing (i.e. do dressage for show exposure/practice as dad has to wait around much less than at say an event), how you plan it... if things keep going wrong, then it's silly to expect them to change by themselves.

And to be fair, sometimes we all get down and start comparing ourselves to others, or taking what we have for granted. I'm terrible for looking at my horse and going, "17hh with a short, steep croup, slightly camped out hocks, poor (comparatively, they're much better than they were) hindquarter muscles due to chronic shivering, tight shoulders, a short back and very long legs and neck... sharp as a tack, a bad attitude and can buck like a rodeo bull"... and not taking into account how far he has come in a very short space of time, and how well he copes and goes despite all his problems. Personally, I'd kill for even a grumpy, unkeen Dad whom I could bully into taking me further afield than I can hack to once a month/fortnight, and the chance to actually get eventing - I'm dying to event, but I don't waste my time and money doing it now whilst still sorting out the issues - we do lots of dressage/sj/hunter paces etc whilst we get both of our confidence up and sort out the stupid ring behaviour before I start expecting him to pull anything out of the bag.