livery yard getting me down

diggerbez

diggerbez

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Hi folks

just wanted to have a rant really. i'm on a smallish livery yard and there are some really nasty people there and its starting to get me down to the point that i'm avoiding being there when other people are. at the moment i'm selling my horse and there is a horrible girl who keeps going round saying i've completely ruined it by my crap riding. i wouldn't mind but i've produced this horse to pre novice eventing level (fairly successfully) and am only really selling him because he's really more suited to dressage. its really knocked my confidence as had been planning to replace him with an unbroken youngster- now worried i'll ruin that! she has a little group of friends who blatantly spend waaay too much time bitching about me and my friends and how bad we are at riding. why do some horsey people feel the need to be so horrible. yes i don't ask how she's getting on with her horse (i genuinely am not interested) but i also don't try and pass comment on what she's doing/how she's riding either!
this wknd is our xmas party...its going to be very awkward i suspect!
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Because thats horsey people for you way to busy finding fault with people around them rather than looking at there own camp...just ignore them they really are not worth the time
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should be a fun xmas shindig
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Try not to let it get you down. Are you planning on keeping a new horse at the same place? I would be tempted to look for some where else. I was at a nasty yard a few years ago and I used to go down either early morning or late at night to try and avoid people. I then woke up one day and thought what am I doing! I found a new yard that day and was much happier.
 
Aw don't take any notice. There is always someone on a yard thats sole purpose in life is to criticise and make other people lives a misery.

Do what you want to do and hold your head up, ignore them.
 
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Try not to let it get you down. Are you planning on keeping a new horse at the same place? I would be tempted to look for some where else. I was at a nasty yard a few years ago and I used to go down either early morning or late at night to try and avoid people. I then woke up one day and thought what am I doing! I found a new yard that day and was much happier.

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yes...the probelm that i have is that
a) i have another horse stabled here and a lovely lady who helps me with him who lives down the road
b) i only live round the corner
c) its the only yard anywhere near that has the facilities and services (i'm a DIY but need to pay for livery jobs at times coz get stuck in work)
i do have a couple of good friends here too- i've been on the yard for 5 years so refused to be pushed out by idiots!

i do, however, realise, that you are talking complete sense!!
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Giving a running critique on your 'faults' reassures them that they are so much better..
Just a hunch but are you younger/slimmer/better looking than your 'fan club'?! Thats usually how it works!
 
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Giving a running critique on your 'faults' reassures them that they are so much better..
Just a hunch but are you younger/slimmer/better looking than your 'fan club'?! Thats usually how it works!

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Yep jealousy on yards is phenominal
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Bitching about others makes people feel good about themselves. They probably have self-esteem issues and are jealous of your achievements. If you can see they are nasty and gossipy then rest assured other people will be aware of it too.

Be proud of what you've done and how well your horse has done. I hope you sell him and make a tidy profit, because his results will speak for themselves - but make sure they know you did well out of his sale. Don't talk figures, just let them know he went for a lot more than you paid for him
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Bitching about others makes people feel good about themselves. They probably have self-esteem issues and are jealous of your achievements. If you can see they are nasty and gossipy then rest assured other people will be aware of it too.

Be proud of what you've done and how well your horse has done. I hope you sell him and make a tidy profit, because his results will speak for themselves - but make sure they know you did well out of his sale. Don't talk figures, just let them know he went for a lot more than you paid for him
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awww, thanks folks. makes me feel a lot happier! i particularly like this suggestion
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sorry to hear you are having such a hard time and that it is effecting your confidence...
can you move to another yard? It would raise your spirits instantly..believe me I know.....
I moved to a field for 12 years due to this type of behaviour.
You sound you like are a great rider if you have managed to train your horse to that standard...alot of people would struggle with that and it takes alot to get that far...so well done on that...
I mainly sounds like jeliousy to be honest....most bullying is due to people feeling low or nervous in themselves, so im sure its because really they all look up to you and feel upset they havent got as far as you...and even if they had, it is still because they feel little worried around you...
Im sure you are a great person at the yard and I would either move if it is effecting you this much, or to a different part of the yard if you can, or just rise above it....be as nice as you can be to them....they will hate that....always say hello, good morning, how are you...it will kill them!!
good luck with your new horse....you'll do great
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have confidence in yourself...
 
That is the nature of some yards.
I'd move, no matter what the yard offers, its not worth being miserable over -if it truly makes you that unhappy that is.
 
Sounds like green eyed monster syndrome, so sad I hope you sell and make a good profit, dont be put off doing what you want to do because of people being ignorant.

Are you sure its the only yard in the area ? as far as im concerned I expect to be able to enjoy my horses and if the yard is a problem I would be looking for somewhere else...

I hope things improve for you soon
 
hiya, iv got the same problem where my horse is... all they do is talk about me and asking when im having my horse shot and hes too much for me its getting to me because hes my horse and i should be able to do what ever i want with him with out other people getting involved thinking they can tell me what i can and cant do all the time like i left him out for a few nights two weeks ago and i got told off for it it wasnt cold and he was rugged up well... just gets to me so im even thinking of investing on getting my own livery yard in reading if all things go well.....

just try to do what i do and dont talk to them or get down there before or after u know they have gone.. i know you shouldnt have to do this but im doing it at the moment and its better then getting sh!t all the time i suppose x
 
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i wouldn't mind but i've produced this horse to pre novice eventing level (fairly successfully) and am only really selling him because he's really more suited to dressage.

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If you were at my yard I'd slag you off for a hobby out of JEALOUSY
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Well done, you've done a great job! - do not let people like this knock your confidence!
 
Sounds like a they are suffering from a touch of the old green eyed monster syndrome and bitching about you only makes them feel better about their own problems.

Haven't they got anything better to do than dance around their caldron making nasty spells?, just shows what sad lives they have if you ask me.

Why should you be driven away from your yard just because of people like that?

You need to grow some balls (and i mean that in nice way) and speak to them, get everything out in the open and tell them that they are making you feel unwelcome and unhappy due to their attitudes and negative comments all the time and ask them why the feel the need to do this? ask them if they enjoy upsettting people? but don't get into an argument, be mature, polite and give them all something to think about. Yes it may add fuel to the fire for a day or two but what have you got to loose? Be strong and don't let these people grind you down, their not worth it!
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Perhaps they will go home one evening while on there own and huge wave of guilt will come over them and they might come to their senses, don't expect an apology from them but they may actually give you some credit for facing up them and making them look like the thoughtless immature bunch of people that they are, that need to grow up!!!!!!!!
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How awful, it's supposed to be for pleasure and nasty people are ruining for you. At my first yard with George (bearing in mind he's my first horse too) the liveries were lovely, but the staff were not. One day I was watching a dressage demo there and said how lovely they all looked and the groom turned to me and said 'it's not as if you and George could ever do dressage'!! It is the only person who I would now love to go and wave my rosettes in her face! But it really knocks your confidence.
 
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One day I was watching a dressage demo there and said how lovely they all looked and the groom turned to me and said 'it's not as if you and George could ever do dressage'!! It is the only person who I would now love to go and wave my rosettes in her face! But it really knocks your confidence.

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oh my really! i had the same thing when a livery lady asked me what i was planning on doing with my horse i said i would like to bring him back in to show jumping and try get a better grade as hes a BSJA grade C at the moment she said to me .. oh your never get that far i doubt you will ever be able to jump him! i was like what the hell!
 
Move.. the people who sit and talk about how good they are - are the pants riders.

You can't be bad if you have got to Pre Novice. They are jealous.

I call them Tea Room Riders. Loads round our way.
 
I would say move, back in April I had a serious run in with my old YO's wife which was the turning point for me and at that point my instructor offered me a place at her small yard (only 5 horses in total) and that was when I realised how unhappy I was at the old place as it was a very large yard but very few people actually did any showing/jumping/eventing etc and I was the only one who was BJSA registered and out doing BN/Discovery and it was very cliquey and bitchy. Sometimes I would go to do my horse in the evenings and there was a terrible atmosphere and no one would speak to me (and I am not talking about teenagers) plus I was scoffed at for not having the recommended instructor that everyone else had.
In the end it does take its toll and when I moved it was the greatest sense of relief, plus I was a lot happier for it.
 
Poor old you. I do hope you are seriously considering not keeping your new horse there. What a load of b*****s, who on earth does this woman think she is - is she a top rider with Olympic experience? I expect not. DO NOT feel belittled by this woman - remember you can only feel small if you allow someone to let you feel that way.

My advice is get out as quickly as you can. I used to keep my horses at a large livery yard in Clutton, Bristol, which is up for sale now (you know who you are .......). The YO there did not have a clue and you werent allowed to be any better than her daughter, who had two nice horses and did BSJA. You had to do what you were told, she told you what your horse needed etc. To top if off, if she was in the tack or feed room with one of her cronies, the conversation would stop and you were made to feel uncomfortable. She was really jealous that the yard manager had a great relationship with everyone and this woman got sacked because of it. Things went from bad to worse and I got to the point where I would shake with fear at going up to see my horses (I must add I am a pretty hard boiled businesswoman as well and dont scare wasy). I had a chat with my instructor who told me that horses were there to be enjoyed and that was my turning point. I took the day off work and trawled around livery yards, finally finding about my current yard via my favourite saddler.

I gave my months notice in the following day and left within a week. My last day there was utterly vile and this woman had the cheek to shove a bill on me for dressage classes I did not even take! My husband had to give her a piece of his mind as he was fed up with her, and I left that yard in tears with my two boys in the trailer. I was still in tears when I arrived a my new yard, but it was the best thing I have ever done. My horses are happy and settled, we hav our ups and downs on our new yard, but we are happy and we dont intend to leave and we have now been there nearly two years. The people are lovely, we have our moans and groans, but everyone gets on and nobody treats anyone with anything less than the respect they are owed.

Dont hang about there, life is far too short and as my instructor said, horses are there to be enjoyed. GET OUT AS QUICKLY AS YOU PRACTICALLY CAN. You have done well to get your horse to the level you have. Hard as it is, dont take any notice.

Good luck with it.
 
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