Loan crisis

As a side note I think it was incredibly rude to fail to show up when you were waiting with the cash and to just send you a text message. Least she could do is turn up! I've just sold a 16hh horse for £1600 with tack and rugs who jumps 3ft happily, hacks safely alone or in company and does nice flatwork. He's a little green but that's his only vice. Good horses are going very cheap in the current market unless they are truly outstanding so she's living in fairy land if she thinks she can sell her in the New Year, especially if this horse reverts once back with her, which seems pretty likely!
 
Be completely buisness like but return the mare at once .
I think you said you knew her father let him know exactly what's gone on and exactly how you feel about it a calm way .
But get the horse back to her pronto it's her problem to find a stable not yours .
If she makes it impossible to return the horse ( that may be her next move ) then I think you should contact her parents and the girl and say the loan is at an end and from today because of the girls behaviour you are chargeing £10 a day for livery until she arranges to pick up the horse ,I would do that verbally or then follow up in writing .
Be calm and firm, the nasty little Madame ,her parents need to teach her some manners .
If the parents are half decent they are not going to be pleased with her if she's a spoiled little princess it's not going to help but at least they have heard your side from you.
I am so angry on your behalf.
 
What a b***h. I would return horse and all tack/rugs that came with her. It's owner problem if no stable not yours. Sounds like she been using you as free trainer for the horse and now going nicely wants her for herself. What a horrible person and TBH she doesn't deserve you friendship
 
I would be calling the parents & letting them know how appallingly their daughter has behaved towards you & your daughter, i think that they will be horrified.

Get the mare back to her today, she's not your problem if the girl doesn't want to sell her, then she'll have to man up & take responsibility for her.

I really, really feel for you. Luckily, there are lots & lots of good horses out there for sale at bargin prices. Hopefully you can enjoy the search for a new one with your daughter. I'm sure if you need any help a short post of what you'd be looking for on here, will get you lots ideas. Good luck. Keep us posted.
 
Going to speak to her father. He is my daughters godfather afterall and we are pretty close. I was trying not to get him involved but I dont think he is aware what is going on tBH.

If I go and buy something else she will probably be trying to sell her in the new year.....so frustrating.....

She is such a sweet horse, such a shame. Trouble is the owner knows how much we want her.....

A few weeks back with her and the mare will go back to how she was.
 
Speak with the father ASAP. Hopefully he will read her the riot act! If no luck there, then contact her to say you're very sorry, but after the sale was agreed you were really looking forward to surprising your daughter with the good news and it really wouldn't be fair to her to, instead of giving her a horse, take one away just after New Year so you really feel that if you can't buy the horse, you will have to return her this week in order to give you a chance to find her another horse before Christmas.

Hopefully this will give her the kick up the backside she clearly needs! And if not, then hang onto your money. Look around at horses but maybe wait until mid-Jan as you may well be right and the mare will revert and she will contact you asking if you still want her. Not ideal but if you really want this particular horse then worth a try. To be honest, even if she does revert horses do tend to remember people and places - so would quickly revert with her but also very quickly go back to being how she is now if she came back to you!

Don't let this situation drag on longer than Friday. Push her to sort it before the end of the week at the latest. Being young is not an excuse - I have a girl who has just turned 17 working for me full time and she would never dream of behaving so badly!
 
What a horrible situation how cruel some people can be even those that are supposed to be good friends, I would really angry and upset your poor daughter you have obviously put much work into the horse, and its obvious that why she wants the horse back, I would ask if you can buy the horse if the answer is no I would say collect the horse this week and give her a bill for what the horse has cost you, tough if she has no room until January, I would seriously fall out with this woman she is being really mean and I would tell her exactly what I thought of her, I really feel for you and your Daughter please let us know how you get on good luck x
 
Just read further down the thread that will teach me just to read the first one, so glad for you what a lovely Christmas present for your Daughter thats made my day that has :)
 
Just read this whole thread, was smiling at the confirmation of you being able to buy the horse.....now I am just angry on your behalf.

It is so obvious what she is trying to do....does she realise that I wonder? And if so, does she even care?!

I would be saying I'm really sorry but you cannot keep the horse for more than another week as we need the stable for the new horse you will be buying your daughter.

I would be very tempted to go with the 'turn up at the door and offer horse or cash' option. She is a silly, 18 year old girl, don't let her outsmart or make a fool out of you.

Tell her you want the horse picked up within 7 days and if that's a problem you will speak to her dad to see if he can sort something out.
 
Charmel said:
Going to speak to her father. He is my daughters godfather afterall and we are pretty close. I was trying not to get him involved but I dont think he is aware what is going on tBH.

If I go and buy something else she will probably be trying to sell her in the new year.....so frustrating.....

She is such a sweet horse, such a shame. Trouble is the owner knows how much we want her.....

A few weeks back with her and the mare will go back to how she was.
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The father is your way forward all is not necessarily lost yet .
It's an apauling way to behave
Good luck .
 
Pinkvboots said:
Just read further down the thread that will teach me just to read the first one, so glad for you what a lovely Christmas present for your Daughter thats made my day that has :)
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There's been a further twist sadly and she now doesn't want to sell. :(

OP - I agree with everyone who says go with the horse and the cash and tell her to choose. No way should you keep the mare until January, she (owner) has messed you around too much.
 
Nothing extra to add, you've had great advice on here, but I'm absolutely disgusted at the behaviour of this girl. I'm barely older then she is and am horrified that she thinks she can use you like this. Spoilt cow
 
Charmel said:
Going to speak to her father. He is my daughters godfather afterall and we are pretty close. I was trying not to get him involved but I dont think he is aware what is going on tBH.

If I go and buy something else she will probably be trying to sell her in the new year.....so frustrating.....

She is such a sweet horse, such a shame. Trouble is the owner knows how much we want her.....

A few weeks back with her and the mare will go back to how she was.
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Good call.

Let us know how you get on.
 
It's really simple, you gave her the two options, she takes the horse back now or you buy it.

She chose the latter then decided she didnt want to sell, so instanty leaving the option that the horse is then returned immediately.

She must think you are an absolute mug! Free livery and training over the winter, sounds like a great plan!

Like the others have said, you have to be completely firm about this or she will just take the utter piss. She takes the horse now or she takes the money, no other options!
 
I wouldn't even talk to the girl now, she obviously too immature to behave with any decency. Tell the Father all, and that you will be bringing the cash or the horse tomorrow/at the weekend. And that HE needs to make a final decision on this. If you don't get any joy then go ahead and tie it up outside their house if needs be. And then help your girl find an even better horse :)
 
lastchancer said:
I wouldn't even talk to the girl now, she obviously too immature to behave with any decency.
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I actually think this is the bottom line.

We have an expectation that at 18 a person is grown up and mature - however many aren't and I suspect it's this that's the issue, rather than her being malicious (intentionally or otherwise). My stepson is 18 - but going on 15.
 
What a nightmare for you, so close to Christmas as well... I think everybody else has given you the best advice so I don't have anything else to suggest but just wanted to say I hope you and your daughter get the mare.
 
amymay said:
I actually think this is the bottom line.

We have an expectation that at 18 a person is grown up and mature - however many aren't and I suspect it's this that's the issue, rather than her being malicious (intentionally or otherwise). My stepson is 18 - but going on 15.
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If I was one of this young womens parents I would be furious with her .
 
abb123 said:
Honestly, I'd turn up at her door today with horse and cash and say she takes one or the other. Her choice.
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This is what I'd do too.

OP it's obviously v disappointing but there are so many good horses about cheap as chips now, you can easily get something else.
I certainly wouldn't be having anything more to do with this one if the above suggestion doesn't work.
 
Speaking to Dad is the way forward. OP tried to treat 18 year old like an adult and not involve Dad in this, and 18 year old has proved that she is incapable of acting like one. Hopefully Daddy will read her the riot act and OP and daughter will get the horse!
 
I really would try to get this sorted soon though - I would hate to be treated like a mug so can't think you like it either and at 18 she needs to learn the meaning of responsibility.
 
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