Loan Dilemma

Goldenstar said:
I would say you are letting them know you will be starting to market the pony on the weekend of the 22nd of Feb so they you are giving them warning to prepare the child for the end of the loan but of course if they choose to buy her that’s great .
I would then nudge them by having an up to date photo session in ten days or so .
If the pony suits invest a little time and subterfuge into some nudging it may all work out fine .
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The loan doesn’t end until 1st March. So unless the OP wishes to end it early she can’t do a photo shoot prior to that date (unless agreed with the parents), and it would be unwise to advertise the pony until the loan actually ends.
 
Pearlsasinger said:
They sound like despicable people, what on earth are they doing letting the child walk to the yard at 6.00 am on her own?
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My parents did not know where I was from one end of the day to the other, I was generally walking or hanging out with dogs in the local woods and countryside or mooning at horses and ponies over the fence at far younger than 12.
I gave my kids as much freedom as possible when they were growing up, my eldest did stretch the area she was allowed to ride in (solo) by huge amounts, I only learnt this many years later-its what kids do though.
If my girls wanted animals they had to show considerable commitment, that's life in my book.
 
I would get the pony marketed from the 29 ( I meant the 29 ) with the ad saying viewings from Sunday March the first .
if the parents want to refuse the photograph session then all OP should do is immediately confirm in writing the loan will end on March the first .
 
Amymay said:
The loan doesn’t end until 1st March. So unless the OP wishes to end it early she can’t do a photo shoot prior to that date (unless agreed with the parents), and it would be unwise to advertise the pony until the loan actually ends.
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The owner can do a photo shoot whenever she wishes unless the loan agreement states she cannot, the pony still belongs to her.
 
Such a shame I would speak to them and find out there situation, if it's a case of finding the money I think I would offer an instalment agreement, apart from that I would definitely advertise her she sounds great I could ride a 13.2!

I basically went everywhere on my own at 12, cycled to the stables everyday in the holidays which was about 4 miles I was literally a street urchin so walking a few miles is nothing out of the ordinary.
 
Pinkvboots said:
Such a shame I would speak to them and find out there situation, if it's a case of finding the money I think I would offer an instalment agreement, apart from that I would definitely advertise her she sounds great I could ride a 13.2!
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But if it's a case of not finding the money I would then be concerned about how they will afford the monthly cost of keeping a horse. Plus the availability of emergency funds.

As it is a loan with view to buy I personally would let them still loan until the agreed end date but make it clear to the parents that either the pony goes on sale 1 March or they buy the pony on 1 March. It's not fair on you for them to leave you hanging.
 
ownedbyaconnie said:
But if it's a case of not finding the money I would then be concerned about how they will afford the monthly cost of keeping a horse. Plus the availability of emergency funds.

As it is a loan with view to buy I personally would let them still loan until the agreed end date but make it clear to the parents that either the pony goes on sale 1 March or they buy the pony on 1 March. It's not fair on you for them to leave you hanging.
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They are paying the ponies livery now
 
Pearlsasinger said:
And how many teenage children get run over on the 'quiet Derbyshire roads' ?

It certainly wasn't the norm where I grew up for a 12 yr old girl to walk anywhere on her own at 6.00am. You have obviously forgotten (if you ever knew) that where I grew up was not very far from Saddleworth Moor. Only irresponsible parents would have allowed it.
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that's where i grew up ,and I used to work in a riding school when i was 12 over the school holidays ( in Lees) .Id leave the house at 6am,and walk a couple of miles there and back. Back then all of us kids would disappear all round saddleworth. We'd pay 10p on the bus and then walk for miles, and play in the rivers / reservoirs. We had a fab time growing up. maybe we where free range kids :D
 
I'm *hoping* the Dad just doesn't want to part with the money before he has to and is worried if he says they're definitely having the pony he'd have to pay up now. Although I completely understand you wanting an answer so you can plan. I hope it all turns out for everyone.
 
Slightly off the main topic, but I had the whole free range childhood thing and it was great, and I am grateful for it. I now live in an equally rural area, but will I let my son have the same freedom when he is older? No. Times have changed, that is just a fact. We are all well aware as riders how different the roads are, for example, so why pretend childhood can be the same as it was 30, 40, 50 years ago?

Anyway I hope the dad does the right thing, and pony goes to the girl who clearly adores her (and I'd like to think the parents could help out a little more on the dark winter mornings, poor kid!).
 
ycbm said:
We don't have a moors murderer operating at the moment, PaS, and children are trained a lot more on stranger danger than they were when Brady and Hindley were active.

Of course your childhood was blighted by it, living so close. But at the time they were active I walked alone to and from school in Wales at the age of 7, and disappeared for hours in the company of a couple of friends the same age. At 8 or 9, in the company of boys of 12 and 13 I was sailing on a tidal lock in a three seat canoe and running wild in a wooded hillside.

Children are having their opportunity to learn independence stifled by the fears of adults. I understand why, but I think she is a lucky girl to have such freedom.

.
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My parents, particularly my father, had the attitude that if he provided an animal for his daughters, it was his responsibility to ensure that the animal was cared for properly, just as it was his responsibility to ensure his daughters' safety.
And 12 isn't very old at all. I was going across town to school on 2 buses at the same age but, of course, there was a group of us

We had plenty of freedom to play and often spent time playing in woods, or round various farms with friends in the school holidays but that is very different from walking to the yard in the pitch black at 6,00 am on a winters' morning by herself - poor child!
 
Ambers Echo said:
Jenny has been on LWVTB over the winter. I was initially told they were considering buying but wanted a loan period so the 12 year old child could prove her commitment as she had never had a pony before. I set the date as March 1st for the loan to end as I did not want her back midwinter anyway to try and sell but was told they would make their mind up long before then.

Jenny has been 100% hoof perfect. The child is quite novicey and she has taken her out hacking in company and on her own, galloped around including towards home. Jumped everything every time. Taken a child just learning to jump to 80/85 in 4 months. Not one moment of naughtiness.

As for the girl - she has also been amazing. She has been given very little help so she walks up at 6am before school every day and again after school. So she has walked over 4 miles a day every day since the loan began. She adores Jenny and they are just such a lovely partnership. Perfect, right?

Well yes apart from the fact the dad won't agree to buy her. I have no idea why parents would allow a child to loan a pony on a 'you need to prove yourself' basis if they never intended to buy Jenny for her anyway. Or maybe mum thought dad would change his mind. Anyway I am in the absolutely horrible position of having to take Jenny off her.

The loan ends in about 4 weeks. I am tempted to let her keep her. Am I crazy? I really can't afford to especially with Amber on schooling livery and paying for Deedee to be ridden. But I feel so horribly torn and I am furious that I am the one feeling guilty! No child has a right to a pony but to me it is unacceptable to tell a child they have the opportunity to have one and then change your mind after the child has fallen hopelessly in love with the pony and has done everything anyone could possibly expect of her in terms of commitment and effort. They have not said no yet. But are refusing to say yes, just saying dad has not made his mind up. But what else needs to happen for him to decide?

Any other options I have not thought of? Offer to lease her to them? Try and talk to dad?? Extend the loan and hope they relent??? Or just start the process of selling now with viewings to start on March 1st and hope that the reality of her going will lead to a change of heart. Or just accept that the parents have every right to do this and it is not my child, not my business.
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What if the problem doesn't really exist? I mean, how do you know what the child's father thinks? His wife might be misinterpreting what he's said and over-stating things.

I think you'd be better off just letting things play out and give the parents space to come to whatever decision they will come to.
 
Ambers Echo said:
Jist to add - I am not just guessing that they are dragging their feet re buying. I have asked mum and she said dad still needs convincing.
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He might just be a bit annoyed with his wife for arranging all this without his agreement (if that's what she did), and just taking his time in agreeing. As far as he knows, he still has a month to let his wife know that he is OK with their buying the pony for their daughter.

It's his wife he's p------d off with I reckon. I reckon he'll come to the party at the last moment. Presumably the child doesn't know that that the decision 'hangs in the balance'. I hope not.

It sounds like such a great match -- Jenny and the child.
 
It sounds like you have a good pony who will be easy to sell if this family does not buy her. Hopefully they do buy her when the loan finishes and that is the happy end of that. If they don't I would take it as a sign that they (dad, mum or whoever) do not want the financial or time or whatever commitment required for pony ownership, in which case she will be better off with a family ready to take on that responsibility. My priority would be making sure the pony goes to the best home where she is valued and provided for come what may.
 
Are you going to try a written approach, perhaps this weekend as it's a month to go? Text or whatsapp would probably suffice. You could ask if they would let you know by the end of the weekend if they plan to buy the pony? At least then you'd know for certain?

We aren't a million miles from you and I think my vet will be looking soon for a second pony for her oldest daughter but as others have said there probably lots of good homes for Jenny, it will just depend if you want to end the LWVTB as soon as you have the decision or if you want them to keep paying and working her until the end of the month?
 
Ambers Echo said:
Funnily enough my vet was keen on her for his 3 daughters. But in the end decided it was 'too messy' to buy a client's pony. But he really liked her.

I will try and catch mum over the weekend and see what response I get.
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If I weighed half what I do, I'd be knocking on your door to buy her for me!
 
I spent all weekend hoping to bump into mum as I think a face to face conversation would be better. But although I saw the girl several times she was always on her own.

I have drafted several messages but in the end decided to go with the plan of waiting till mid Feb before asking for a decision. I've got a gazillion photos anyway. The loan runs till end Feb and they either will or won't buy her. I don't think anything I do at this point will influence their decision. I just need to wait and see which way they jump. In mid Feb I will give them a week then I'll advertise her last week of Feb for viewings to start 1st March.
 
I think your plan is the best one. I know when I had loan with option to buy (not view so slightly different) I really did take my full allotted time and bought him on the day the loan ended. My reason was I was terrified of the leap into actually owning again and it wasn’t until the last few days I really decided if I could handle it all or not. I had grown far to comfortable loaning as the owner was always a nice back up if I felt overhorsed again. It’s worked out well in my case but I really needed those last few weeks/days to know what I wanted.

Hope it all works out for you and them.
 
Ambers Echo said:
I spent all weekend hoping to bump into mum as I think a face to face conversation would be better. But although I saw the girl several times she was always on her own.
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This speaks volumes

Not because she's got a free range childhood or because it's unsafe or whatever, but because she's on her own.

Sounds like the parents aren't going to be interested or involved even if she has the pony.

I really feel for the kid
 
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