Loosing a horse - whats the worst thing said to you?

[Katikins]

Mine was actually from a non-horsey friend. A week before Christmas 2009 my horse of a lifetime broke his leg in the field and had to be put down on the spot. He'd been on loan with the most amazing loving home since I moved to Holland so didn't see him that often. One of my best friends upon hearing this from me in tears was 'yeah, but you hardly see him so its not like its a big deal'!!

 

[alfiesmum]

''''''hugs''''' for gw and all who have faced the total tragedy of having to say goodbye to their freinds xxx

 

[JVB]

I used to hate it when people asked 'Are you OK?' I know they were trying to be nice but of course I wasn't flipping OK so why ask! I wish people would just leave others alone to grieve

 

[Echo Bravo]

Katikins is she still your friend. I wonder what some of these people would say if they lost someone close to them and you said never mind get another one. I've always believed in having respect for my animals and people, I've usually found that those who have no respect for animals have little for other people

 

[NELSON11]

I got told by the yo when my boy was PTS in 1996 to make sure either the body was covered up or moved by the time the two young girls on the yard had arrived home from school and was not a sight he wanted them to see. Sensitive or what!!!

 

[splash30]

I had mine put down first thing one morning so no one else was around and it was quiet but a young girl on the yard who turned up just after the lorry had left went ''oh damm i missed it, was it bloody''

 

[jack9]

id have chinned the b*tch.

(hugs)

yes i lost a horse and some gobby know all decided that i was wrong for having him pts when i was bankrupt, he was lame and was never going to improve.

So yeah - there are some nasty people out there, they should think before they open their traps.

 

[NELSON11]

something else which drove me nuts was people who had nothing to do with my horses and were downright horrible people to have on the yard, walking around sobbing saying how distraught they were my boy Beau had gone.

Felt like knocking their heads off. What right did they have, never showed any interest when he was alive, so stop attention seeking when he has gone over Rainbow Bridge.

God even 14 years later, makes my blood boil

 

[tangotime]

Gingerwitch,

just bear in mind that this person would made that comment obviously doesn't love her horse enough to be with him/her in the end when it counts, just because she can't be brave enough, is too selfish or too much of a coward.

 

[Rhandir]

Just after I'd had my mare PTS another livery arrived on the yard, about 15 minutes after being told the news she asked me if she could have my stable. How I didn't floor her I'll never know.

 

[applecart14]

" You should be over him by now" said to me 3 days after his death by my partner.
"Do they go for glue?" by a ignorant colleague.
"He was crying becasue he didn't want to leave you" when I looked at the body of my horse and tried and failed to close his eye and noticed he had a tear in the corner of his eye (from the cold).

 

[NELSON11]

I don't think anyone has a right to say whether it is right or wrong to be with your horse/pony at the end. It is down to the individual owner and the decision really should imo not be questioned. If they chose to be there doesn't make them a hero and if they choose not to doesn't make them cowards.

So people shut butt out and not pass comments which are cold and callous. So the callous moo who said that to Gingerwitch should of kept it zipped.

People can be very cruel at times

 

[Kenzo]

Oh dear there are some very insenstive people about (((hugs)))

However, my reply would of been something to the tune of

''oh well, thats you, obviously I didn't love my horse as much as you did yours and couldn't wait to replace him, in fact I wonder if my insurance money has come through yet?''

Sorry but the look on her face would of been worth it!

Ignore her, life is too short to worry about what she thinks!

 

[McNally]

On loosing my beloved child hood pony "never mind look on the bright side you can get a proper horse now"

 

[applecart14]

The main problem is that people don't know what to say. TBH I'd rather get an awkward or insensitive comment than no comment at all. The worse thing is when people don't know what to say so pretend your horse never existed. Thats the worst thing you can do to someone. "I don't want to say anything to him/her in case I upset them". WHAT????? They won't be anymore upset than they are already. Someone on our yard goes mental if you say "I'm sorry for your loss" to her. Very strange, I just can't comprehend this type of mentality at all.

 

[Kellys Heroes]

Just after I'd had my mare PTS another livery arrived on the yard, about 15 minutes after being told the news she asked me if she could have my stable. How I didn't floor her I'll never know.

I've never been through the pain of losing a horse and I really feel for the people who have. We had a horse pts on our yard and that day (he was pts in the AM) I could hear people stood outside my stable wondering when the stable was going to be free again as it "was a good airy stable and a waste if it's not used" and "I might ask YO if I can move (horse) into there".
I felt like going out and hitting them over the head with my pitchfork but luckily someone else intervened.

Gingerwitch, rest safe in the knowledge that you did the right thing for you and your horse and that people are cruel and selfish. They may be doing this because they know they could never deal with the situation in such a way as you have.

 

[BobbyMondeo]

I have never lost a horse myself i dont know how it feels

But all of you clearly loved your horses very much and its clear that the people saying these just dont understand/dont love their horse as much as you did.

 

[Saucisson]

The main problem is that people don't know what to say. TBH I'd rather get an awkward or insensitive comment than no comment at all. The worse thing is when people don't know what to say so pretend your horse never existed. Thats the worst thing you can do to someone. "I don't want to say anything to him/her in case I upset them". WHAT????? They won't be anymore upset than they are already. Someone on our yard goes mental if you say "I'm sorry for your loss" to her. Very strange, I just can't comprehend this type of mentality at all.

We had this when my Dad died (my Mum fell victim in particular)). It's suprising how many "friends" suddenly loose interest in you when they might have to confront something difficult.

"Oh, I just didn't know what to say" Grrrrrrrrrr

Some of these examples have been awful - big hugs to all

 

[E_Lister]

"Ah well... you will save money now you don't have to waste any more medicine on him. Shame you spent so much on medicine in the last few months, you should have put him down at the beginning cause you knew he was going to die, and used the money saved to buy a newer, better version!"

This wasn't said to me, but to my best friend (with me there too) when she lost her beloved cob by a supposed "sympathetic" friend. They were probably wise to turn on their heel and walk briskly off when they did... they were nearly ripped limb from limb by the pair of us!

 

[mymare]

My horse died 3 weeks ago. The worst thing that happened was when my OH and his friend with the digger were getting her onto the front bucket (VERRRRRY gently because they knew I was watching and would have punched anyone who came anywhere near me that day, and absolutely MURDERED them if they had been rough with her body), and our sworn enemy drove past, saw my horse was dead and LAUGHED AND LAUGHED. I lost it and was screaming "WTF ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOU F******* B********** F***** OFF!!!!!" etc etc and words to that effect. I dread to think what I would have done to him if he'd been within reach of me.

Now I'm getting the "when are you getting another one?", and "why dont you just send the Shetland back to the ILPH?" !!!!!!!! Because I can't bear to say goodbye to him too!!!

I'm still waiting for it to get easier and it's just not. I permanently sound like I have a cold at the moment because of all the crying I'm doing. Stupid comments from stupid people really aren't welcome.

Big hugs to you, I totally understand your pain. xxx

 

[grandmaweloveyou]

bless you. the worst i had was when i was still at school and lost my mare, the sh*t in the class (that then wanted to be my boyfriend!!) wrote on the blackboard about a "horse meat burger bbq". Thankfully the teachers had some sensitivity and he got hauled over the coals for it. Non-Horsey people just dont get it. They dont get the trust, the bond and the fact we put our lives in our horses hands every day. I lost my dog recently, I am coping but I do know if I lose my horse (I suffer with manic depression) I wont cope (and it worries my friends). Be brave x

 

[HeatherJ]

My horse died 3 weeks ago. The worst thing that happened was when my OH and his friend with the digger were getting her onto the front bucket (VERRRRRY gently because they knew I was watching and would have punched anyone who came anywhere near me that day, and absolutely MURDERED them if they had been rough with her body), and our sworn enemy drove past, saw my horse was dead and LAUGHED AND LAUGHED. I lost it and was screaming "WTF ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOU F******* B********** F***** OFF!!!!!" etc etc and words to that effect. I dread to think what I would have done to him if he'd been within reach of me.

that is absolutely awful!
sorry to hear about your horse
(((hugss))) x

 

[indiat]

I cannot believe how awful some people are. We have lots of children on our yard but the YO had staff posted staff to make sure myself and my mare were left alone when her time had come and when I walked away, her OH covered up her body wih rugs. No one expected me to do it in the state I was in (although I was horribly calm and still feel guilty about that). And as for making joke?! Did these people never have a pet?

 

[EAST KENT]

It takes all of a year MyMare to ease the raw pain, my first mare was put down at 24 years,by the huntsman ,a little while later the father in law said "oh I hear you had to dispose of your horse"...never could like the man much after that. Believe me ,if she could come back again I`d pay the earth and more.

 

[Angelbones]

I think the most upsetting out of all the horrid insensitive things I've heard was the most recent. I had to have my daughter's 11.2 lead rein pony pts. I was in pieces. It was the worst one for me as I had to prebook it and then wait 3 days, and then the telling my daughter after school (I had to say Poppy had died in her sleep). About half an hour after the event, a friend of mum came to the yard and said "I'm sorry to hear about Poppy, could I have her rugs for my loan pony?". Jeez, I couldn't believe it. Don't know how I didn't deck her really.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

my supervisor thought she was being funny when she came to see me in hospital when we got hit by a car and Benson died, I broke my back and my friend was bashed about, when she said, Oh well, the glue factory must be happy now, stocks have gone up! If I could have, I would of got off that bed and flattened her!

Jesus, I think I would have decked her.

Gingerwitch, so sorry for your loss. May she run free.

When I lost mine, the YO texted me to say 'I'll give you something to cry about. Go out on the tiles and get a hangover'. Unbelievable. I was devastated when my best mate bought an OTTB and put her in my boy's box soon afterwards. Gutting to see her in there and not his handsome head looking out.

 

[Tormenta]

These stories are just heartrending. I despair of the human race at times. I would rather be full to the brim with empathy than have none at all.

Mine is not so shocking but I was lost for words all the same. We had been looking after a little ill mare for 8 weeks and the decision was made that there was no more could be done to help her and it was kindest to let her go. A couple of hours afterwards I received a telephone call from someone I know quite well who said 'Well at least it will give you a training of sorts for when one of your own die because that will be harder'. It was in no way easier because she didn't belong to me and I didn't want to be reminded at that exact point in time that one day the ones who belonged to me would die too.

 

[annaellie]

My mare was very ill in the stable I had watched her for hours, the vet cocked up major I popped to the smoking room while my mum stayed with her, one of the new liveries came in and said are they going to shoot that horse or what He did not know it was my horse and did appoligise.
When I had my boy PTS my so called friend on the day told me oh mate why go the gun route they will throw him in the incinerator, with a shed load of other animals and churn him up even though he will be dead mate you will know
I was so distraught I borrowed the money for leylands to cremate him and asked the vet to use injection.
I knew what they do but it was hearing it out loud that done it to me an hour before my boy was to be pts, needless to say she aint my friend anymore.

 

[scotlass]

Years ago, took my pony for a scan on a ligament, already with the knowledge we were facing a long lay off or retirement at best.

Sulky hospital vet said "if the worst comes to the worst, there's plenty more (ponies) where that came from"

.... and yes - I did hit him!

 

[LeneHorse]

When my mare got put down aged 13 from cushings related laminitis I got.....
'Well my old pony had bad laminitis but he got better'
'I hear your vet let you down' (my vet was brilliant throughout)
and the usual jokes from the men in the office about glue factory, flogging a dead horse etc.
And I had to padlock my stable until I got another horse, or someone would have moved in!

Not nearly as bad as some of your stories though - there are some right b*tches out there by the sound of things.