Losing your heart horse

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Boulty

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Sorry for your loss. It’s a lie to say it gets easier or you stop missing them you just get better at living with it.

It’s always harder when it’s something unexpected or there’s not a concrete diagnosis and a lot of what ifs.

I lost my heart horse at the start of 2013, had a minor breakdown & failed probation at my job (I think the after effects of concussion from a fall I had off him a few weeks before starting said job didn’t help either!). I can generally talk & think about him most of the time now without being sad. I’d still like to apologise to him for not knowing & doing better.

I lost the horse who still owns a piece of my soul in 2019. I still want him back & would happily trade all the remaining time I might have with current horse for a few more (comfortable) years with him. There’s things I’m learning now that I wish I’d known when I first got him. Not sure I could have completely changed the outcome as he had a lot of chronic conditions that were becoming impossible to manage together but I’m still pissed that I found the perfect yard for him several years too late.

I think I miss the last one more because of all the issues I’m having with the current one & so of course I miss just being able to get on & go as far & as fast as I liked (even if that period of time was relatively short!)

I also think the desire to “fix” the current one / the desire to explore all options before I give up is at least partially driven by the guilt of not being able to fix the 2 that came before.
 
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SO1

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Barton Bounty said:
Dont think of it as looking for the same relationship, it will never be the same but a new fresh relationship, a new bond, a new love, you will be surprised that your heart Will grow while healing and you will have enough room to love two .
My new boy has ALL of the same traits as my last one. I mean really everything and I am happy with that. It brings me comfort that he was sent to me just when I needed him.
Your heart will start to heal, it just takes time 🥰
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I agree with above. I had to have Homey pts in 2022. He was only 20 and I tried everything to save him but vet said his stomach had stopped working and despite clearing his gastric impaction by a week in hospital and flushing with coke and going on a special diet when he was rescoped a month later food could be seen in his oesophagus and his stomach was not emptying properly and was at risk of rupture and more colic and pain. So vet advised to pts. He was my best friend for 15 years and I thought he would live to his 30s. It was a massive shock.

Just over a year later I got Bert who like Homey is a bay new forest. Bert was 5 when I got him same age as Homey when I got him. It has taken a while to get to know Bert but he is so similar to Homey and I love him very much. I still miss Homey but I am happy with Bert.

When I lost Homey I called the Blue Cross Pet bereavement support line a lot and they were super a great comfort to me.
 
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