Loss of a horse

charliesarmy

charliesarmy

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Its been years and years since I posted on here so hello....but I'm in a right mess I lost my thirty year old horse last week after twenty three years of partnership and its been a real struggle since...i have my own place with two other horses and I'm in turmoil when I go up there when I'm there I can only think of my old horse and I'm on autopilot cant wait to get away,but if I think about my horses Chrissey is all I can think of but not favourable memories..only of her being pts I cant stand to look where she went down.i know it'll get easier...i don't expect replies tbh its nice just to write!!
 
Many of us know exactly that feeling. I certainly do and am facing it again in the not too distant future.

You must remember all the good times, the wonderful years you shared with her. Remember she knew no fear, hunger or lack of care throughout her life and at the end you ensured she was safe. She could not have been in a better home. It is impossibly hard to cope and accept that a life has ended and only time will ease the pain.
 
I promise it DOES get better in time. It is still far too early and raw to expect to be able to deal with this fully yet. I know what you mean about not being able to look at the spot but even that fades quite quickly as life's events move on. Of course you never forget a favourite horse but gradually the memories become happy with lots of 'do you remember when...' coming up in conversation. Take comfort from the fact that you gave your horse a wonderful life and you will meet again - of that I am quite sure.
 
I lost my 30yr old boy nearly 2 yrs ago and last week out of no where I was sat in a traffic jam on the way to work and was suddenly crying about missing him....... Lord only knows what prompted that!

The first few months were tough and honestly auto pilot is a good thing. I promise current horses neither notice or care.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time. I'm just as likely to start laughing at an old memory these days as I am to be sobbing at one x
 
It sounds like she was adored for all of those years you shared, and that's something you should be incredibly proud of. That pain you're feeling now is proof of how much you loved her, and it will get better with time, but in the beginning it will hurt like hell. All that you can do is be kind to yourself, and know that one day soon it won't feel so raw. You'll never forget her, but there will come a day when you can think of her with a smile again, I promise you.
 
Huge ((hugs)). I lost my 27 year old in July and I've only just started to feel 'ok' again. The pain was indescribable initially. The first week after I lost her I was a mess. The pain has definitely eased now although occasionally something will remind me of her or something she did and I'll be choking back a sob again.

Hang in there. Be kind to yourself and don't try and rush the grieving process. It will get easier I promise. xx
 
I know it is very hard, but it will get better with time. Re - just remembering the unhappy memories, I had a beautiful dog - a Kerry Blue Terrier - he was a big handsome dog. In the last year of his life he was very unwell, had one eye removed, lost a lot of his hair and a lot of weight all over except for a pot belly. It was hard to remember what a lovely looking, healthy dog he had been. Soon after he died (I was heartbroken and still get a tear in my eye thinking about him 8 years later) when I thought about him it was the healthy dog I remembered. Just give it time, you will recall the happy times once you have had time to process the sadness.
 
Everyone is different with their grieving processes.

My boy was PTS in April and I think I coped remarkably well because I was on autopilot and adrenalin kicked in. He'd basically gone for a scan at the vets and all was not well so he was PTS there and then. I think the fact it was so sudden and broadly unexpected helped me. I don't think I could have dealt well with a planned PTS. I still get sad sometimes and I miss him a lot.

You'll get by. There will be roadblocks, up days, down days, all sorts of strange surreal days to deal with, but each day will help the healing process a tiny bit.

Hugs to you. Treasure your good memories. They can never be taken away.
 
Well, it is still early days and so long as your other horses are getting what they need, it is fine not to spend any longer than strictly necessary at the yard.
But there comes a time when you have to tell yourself not to dwell on the negatives, when you find yourself remembering her last day, you need to consciously switch your thoughts to a pleasant memory of her. The more you do that, the easier it will get.
You obviously gave her a fabulous life, caring for her right to the end and then did the right thing by her. Give yourself the credit for that, it is never easy.
 
Big hugs, I feel your pain.

I lost my 31 year old 2 weeks ago today! I knew that seeing her go down would be devastating, so I asked my yard manager, from my other yard to hold her! So although I miss her so much, I had her for 15 years, I have some peace as the last memory of her I have is her eating the lush green grass! I too have to go back to that yard to check on my Shetland, but I can escape as my ridden horse is on a yard around the corner! so although I feel sad when I'm checking my shettie, I get to go and see Sam and go for rides on land that I never got to ride Kelsey on!

do you think you could find someone that could do your other horses for you for a couple of weeks and just give yourself a bit of a break and time to cry.
 
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