Major pathetic yard conflict

Poor Barbara, not only does she have senile dementia and keeps forgetting to take her bog roll, put sly katie keeps nicking it!

If I was Babs, I would tell my cousin to chuck you all of the yard. That way she can safely leave her bog roll in the loo and spend as long as she wants in the dumper, confident in the knowledge she wont be caught out!

I am afraid the little word "troll" springs to mind here. But, hey ho, it is fun.
 
I think you should all put to & buy a locking metal tool box & bolt it to the loo wall. Fill with bog roll & padlock & give babs the keys. Result is a happy babby.
 
Sorry can't quote but "what about having a loo roll kitty"...

Did anyone else have the same image as me of using a fluffy ikkle kitten to wipe your foof?

No? Just me then!

:-)
 
Gusbear said:
There once was a poor lady named Barbara
Whose claim to fame was her bog roll palaver
There were lots sniggers and snipes
re her stolen wet wipes
And now the forum is in big fits of laughter
;)
Click to expand...


There was a young lady called Kate,
Whos horse was in bit of a state.
Doesnt buy her own stuff
which I think is tough.
So Barb's wet wipes
she swiped,
now the loo roll's her goal.

buying tissue is really an issue...


(Haha sorry, it doesnt scan very well, I did try though :o :D)
 
charlie76 said:
Do I win in the loo stakes? We have four Loos. Two for men and two for women with loo roll, soap and a hand dryer! We even have bleach, loo blues, sanitary bins and wait for it.......

A toilet brush!!!!!
All provided by the yard.
So do I win?

I can also beat the pinching loo roll. Some of our liveries recently moved yars
Click to expand...

Yes you win, we only have one ladies and one gents. We have paper towels rather than a hand dryer. We do have loo roll, liquid soap, sanitary bins etc and a shower though.
 
Monkeymoo said:
Sorry can't quote but "what about having a loo roll kitty"...

Did anyone else have the same image as me of using a fluffy ikkle kitten to wipe your foof?

No? Just me then!

:-)
Click to expand...

So the dry pussy gets wet off the wet pussy, and the wet pussy becomes dry off the dry pussy, the visualization is mind boggling......
 
annaellie said:
Barbra and Katie should go on Jk show, you can be the voice of reason. Then a lie detector and DNA to see if Katie stole the loo role. They can go to mediation with the genius grahame :D
Yard dilemma :)
Click to expand...

Nonsense. This is clearly a job for Judge Judy. She'll put 'em right. Funny how things like this blow up. If the atmosphere is really bad, just buy her a pack of wet wipes (or ask Katie to) and a choccie bar for everyone. Maybe write a little rhyme for the back of the door. Make a cup of tea. Eat biscuits. Life is too short.
 
Am I the only person worrying that if they were on a septic tank there are all these looneys putting baby wipes down the loo and they won't degrade

Not flushable - gah!

If I were YO, I'd padlock the loo as they liveries couldn't be trusted with it...
 
Love this thread!! :D
Think I'm going to show it to my YO, esp. Charlie76's post! 4 TOILETS!! And all the gubbins to go with it!! My YO promised us a toilet when we rented the yard. It is now 3 years later and the framework for a roof on an old hut is in place, that is as far as it got!
And this guy is a builder!
Meanwhile we pee in our stables in winter, and the surrounding woodland in summer. Drip dry. Problem arises when you need a no2. Have to dig a hole with a trowel, bury the offending item and bag up wet wipes (not Barbara's :D) to take home. Lovely!
And did somebody say they have a SHOWER? Now that really is taking the piss! :D
 
What do you do when you need the loo in babs & kates stableyard?
Pull down your drawers,
And break the loo roll laws,
In babs & kates stableyard.
Pick up a leaf,
And wipe your underneath,
In babs & kates, stableyard.
Pick up a spade,
And bury what you made
In babs & kates, stableyard.
(to the same tune as the 'english country garden' version we used to sing as kids, or at least I did)
 
littlelegs said:
What do you do when you need the loo in babs & kates stableyard?
Pull down your drawers,
And break the loo roll laws,
In babs & kates stableyard.
Pick up a leaf,
And wipe your underneath,
In babs & kates, stableyard.
Pick up a spade,
And bury what you made
In babs & kates, stableyard.
(to the same tune as the 'english country garden' version we used to sing as kids, or at least I did)
Click to expand...

pmsl that tune is going to be running through my head for the rest of the day now!
 
Monkeymoo said:
Sorry can't quote but "what about having a loo roll kitty"...

Did anyone else have the same image as me of using a fluffy ikkle kitten to wipe your foof?

No? Just me then!

:-)
Click to expand...

:D

kitty.jpg
 
Am I the only one who would not use baby wipes after going to the loo? All the chemically stuff would upset the delicate balance in a delicate area :cool:
 
I saw some of you had been doing some poems etc...so I had a *ahem* 'crack' at it myself....


Kate was a lady in need
Stole wet wipes for her horse out of greed
Babs thought it a farce
What would she use on her arse?
It’s not like the horse even peed!

:D If only Babs knew what a commotion she has caused :)
 
God knows how she would cope if something really bad happened! Get a life I would say and yes blue and white from Tescos, buy in bulk, problem solved. ITS TOILET PAPER NOT POUND NOTES!!
 
I don't want to use vanessas loo roll,
Cos its cheap & will chafe my poor hole,
Instead for babs I will wait,
And use her wipes just like Kate!
 
My favourite) buy glow in the dark bog roll from amazon or play.com etc. about a fiver. Remove packaging, iIt gives away the secret!) and leave it in the bog for everyone to use. Husbands and boyfriends will soon start to question why the phantom loo roll users have a glow in the dark bottom and bits... the glow in the dark covering rubs off Much embarassment and lols
__________________
PMSL Got to try this one!!!!
 
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Poor old Babs can't go to the lavatory,
Her wipes have been used by a county show wannabe
To flatten his fly away hair.

The farmer decides he must put in a portaloo
Everyone knows that is all yards will ever do
Contortionists struggle to use these to have a poo
Unless they are terribly thin,

Reaching behind is a definite chore
You have to lean forward and open the door.
This will make liveries feel insecure,
Exposure is not what they want
(after all we're not foreign)

So when you're bemoaning the loss of your baggage
Summon a smile and remember this adage
Does a discarded item stay just where it should?
Or do bogroll-less liveries poop in the wood?
 
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