Making "that" decision!

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LadyRascasse

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Everyone says you know when the time is right, but i just don't it is tearing me apart thinking about it all the time, its so difficult. any advice?
 
this the problem i don't know whats right for him, i am not afraid of putting him to sleep, i just don't know if i am being to hasty.
 
It is a very difficult decision, do you trust your vet? If you do I would get the vet out, ask for an honest opinion & go with their advice.
Good luck with this tough one, its the one part of having animals that I really hate.
 
Vet was out yesterday and said she would tell me if i was being cruel keeping him alive, but i would never want to that situation where i was being cruel, my farrier is out in an hour and i am going to have a frank conversation with him. :( i just hate feeling like this
 
If you're not sure about the vet, I would be temped to ask somebody who is knowledgable & caring but emotionally detatched from the situation. If your farrier fits the bill, he is a good person to ask.
When its an animal you love its hard to detach youself so if you really can't think straight, going to somebody you trust & is already detached from the situation is a good option.
 
Don't feel guilty if you are thinking it is time for you but maybe not quite time for the horse. I don't know the ins and outs and whys of this situation but if you've had enough that's ok too. I'm terrified of thinking my old girl is ok then all of a sudden realising i've waited a bit too long. I know it would be better a little too early than a little too late but what if I go for a little early and she mite have been ok for years? It'd be easy if they just didn't wake up one day!
 
When I had to make the decision with my old boy, I said to my vet 'if he was yours, would you do the same thing' and she said Yes which helped me realise I was doing the right thing. If your vet is reluctant to answer a question like that, talk to your farrier perhaps.

If you don't feel like it is the right thing to do at the moment, hang on for a while and perhaps consider things that would make you call it a day. I don;t know what is wrong with your horse - but I made a mental list of things that I wouldn't want my horse to have to endure such as ... ' if he lies down and can no longer get up on his own' .

I think there is an element of truth in people saying that you will know when enough is enough. I felt the same as you for months and asked so many people for advice, but still didn't know what to do. Then one day I was at the yard on my own, and I just knew. He could hardly stand for me to pick a back leg up and his eyes just looked so sad and like he'd just had enough. I phoned the vet and arranged for them to come out the following day. I only told one person, who came to support me on the day, took one look at my horse and said straight away ' you are absolutely doing the right thing'

Hope you can get some answers. It really is a tough time. x
 
What an awful situation and I really feel for you. I've always left it about 2 months too late for which I feed dreadfully guilty. Once they have 'given up' I think you should let them go and I am going to be better next time.
 
I've made the decision for a few of my liveries ... Well I say "made the decision"; in reality what I do is tell them it's ok. The decision is already made the moment they've started even thinking about it. Then it just becomes a matter of time.
 
Am very sorry you are facing this decision :(

I am absolutely dreading being in this same situation but one thing I found made so much sense is it's better to let them go a day too early than a day too late. As I would struggle to forgive myself if I left it a day too late.

Thinking of you
Sadiemay
 
i'm dreading making the decision as well. over this last year or so i've been in turmoil about it, one day my big lad would look so depressed and dis interested in things and i'd think ok the time has come, i'd speak to my vet about it and he would say he'd come out in a few days to see him, by the time the vet came out my horse was a bit more chirpy so we continued.
i trust my vet to tell me and i actually though back in august he was going to say enough is enough, no improvement etc etc but in fact he said that my horse has done so well to get to where he is, he won't get any better as such so just to try and ride him gently to see if that gives him something to think about. after a couple of rides my horse improved dramatically and is back to his usual self.

now during my horse's treatment i had another vet tell me to pts as it was unfair to keep trying with him and it was an expensive field ornament, luckily my usual vet knew my horse very well.

in other words if you trust your vet then listen to their opinion, depending on what is wrong with your horse go with your gut instinct. if you saw a horse in the same position as yours what would you think/advise??
 
MissTyc said:
I've made the decision for a few of my liveries ... Well I say "made the decision"; in reality what I do is tell them it's ok. The decision is already made the moment they've started even thinking about it. Then it just becomes a matter of time.
Click to expand...

I actually really agree with this - once you've started to think about it, the time probably isn't too far away.
I really, really strongly believe that far too many people keep their animals alive for far too long for their own emotions rather than doing what's right for the animal. As the others have said, ask someone who knows your horse, who you trust and is impartial as they can be. I do also think you will know when the time is right - take a physical step back and look at your through new eyes.
Is he still looking bright, looking forward to going out in the field? Still being able to get up, looking ok weight wise etc? If the answer is no to any of these, he could be trying to tell you something.
 
If you are thinking it's time then it usually is because it also means (usually but not always) that others will see the need to do the right thing too but are too nice to say so.

Hugs, it's never easy but better too early than too late because that will haunt you for a long time afterwards, far longer than a normal mourning, believe me, I've been there.
Have a word with your farrier as they're usually more practical than a vet and in most cases, not driven by the desire to make money as some vets can be who can string treatment out knowing the end result will be the same.
 
MissTyc said:
I've made the decision for a few of my liveries ... Well I say "made the decision"; in reality what I do is tell them it's ok. The decision is already made the moment they've started even thinking about it. Then it just becomes a matter of time.
Click to expand...

^^^ this

((hugs)) it is such a difficult time. I suspect you are getting there - unless he is in acute pain there is no rush - these things usually become clear if you listen to yourself and him. Hardest decision - but one of the bravest you can make x
 
I had my old mare pts at the end of November. In all my years of owning horses it was always something I had dreaded but it was ok. I could tell she had had enough and I am glad I could help her and I was happy because I prevented her from getting worse.
As for trusting your vet, I do feel that some prolong the inevitable, maybe for financial reasons (maybe that sounds harsh). I would go with your gut instinct, if he is in constant pain, which you can't help then it is kinder to pts sooner rather than later.
I had my girl for 20 years, she was the best horse ever and I know she is in the best place now.

I have just Ebayed my whole life away to pay for her bill, but it doesn't matter.

I am sure you will make the right decision.
 
Right, i am back from the farrier visit, first of all thank you for all the replies and hugs means alot.

i had a long conversation with him, and he agrees with the vet that for his for his age and the time of the year he looks really good (good weight and very shiny coat) however there is a problem, he is happy that its not his feet, and he had blood and urine test which came back the low side of good on the bloods and the urine had blood, protein and white blood cells in it. he has a 5 day course of antibiotics.

The vet and farrier both think that he might be colicing (i have never seen any signs of this) he doesn't really eat or drink.

I have decided to do the 5 days of antibiotics and buy a supplement to help with the colic if he is colicing.

the reason i am unsure of his future is that he has copd, cushings, arthritis and these kidney/stomach problems and i don't like to think of him always in pain. as the days/months/years go on his problems are getting more and more unmanageable.
 
My mums horse recently showed these symptoms - turned out there was a tear in the urethra (sp?)which was affecting his kidneys - he had to be operated on but is now totally fine.
 
i'm facing this at the moment. my old horse is nearly 31 but gen in good health tho i have had to have the vet out quite a few times recently. all fairly minor things but do wonder if this is the beginning of the end, its so hard when they look well in themselves tho.
 
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