Managing my grief

[SarahsPonies]

Thank you. Yes I asked a friend who mentioned a spiritual medium to try to connect with him. Anything was worth a try. Something still to do in the New Year. I was almost worried what he'd say as I felt I should have been able to do more, to have known more :-( I miss him so much. Carrying on with the others feels overwhelming and scary when they're running about like twits if one gets left now.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Hi

I lost my best friend last Monday to amstrangulating Lipoma which killed 3.5 metres of his intestines. He had a 20% chance of survival and the vet said she thought that if we brought him through the operation we were Lilly to loose him within a few days. I just couldn't put him through that for such a slim chance and that he would suffer so I let him go. So, we could not save him despite being at the equine hospital in 2 hours and going into surgery.

My grief is just terrible and overwhelming. I'm not coping, I angry and upset and worst of all the 'what ifs' have started.

I have had him cremated him and scattered his ashes at the bottom of our garden where my 2 boys lived. I have borrowed another horse to keep my other boy company u til I can work out what to do.

My question is how did you cope with your grief. I feel overwhelmed and devastated. I feel that I will never get over this death. My beautiful boy has gone and I am dereft. Wondering if I did the right thing, should I have for ugh this, did I let go too easily. I really though I was doing the right thing. The vet said she would only ring if it wasn't in his best interest to continue with his surgery and she said she thought we would loose him post surgery. I'm just so confused niw. I love him and miss him so much xx

I never normally check dates but realised this is an old post so the below is not current



I am so sorry you are going through this , in the festive season, I too I have lost too Mares of a lifetime in Past Decembers. Grief hits us in many ways and we deal or not deal with it,I would not call it luck but when I lost both my mares I had the second mare when I lost the first and my second mares son when I lost 2nd. It was easier to grieve and cry on them rather than hubby as they knew something wrong.


The sadness eases and the grief not so strong, but time heals to the point of going forward. It is only natural you ask questions and angry, as I was when a so called vet did not diagnose my horses condition 2 years running when we could have changed diets etc. My anger with them is still there but not my focus now as I have her boy to protect etc. Get some rescue remedy which helps in these times, just 2 drops under the tongue.

Plant a nice tree maybe onto of some of his ashes so he can grow through the tree - take each day at a time and have your crying moments and hold on to the memories you share. Find a way to keep him with you

Engrave picture of him on a chain..Tattoo
What ever you choose
vibes xxxxx IL

 

[Shysmum]

I'm not working atm, but I read photographs.

There is never any blame in the spirit world, it depends what you believe... my job as a medium is to prove life on the other side, and also that a soul has happily reached it. If not, to help that soul over. Animals find Rainbow Bridge, and human family, waiting for them there, and are almost always with a loved passed over human...

 

[SarahsPonies]

Thanks. Yes I keep feeling angry with vets too. It felt like I had to know the answers to even begin to ask for things. Like NOW they say they are revising worming programme advice. NOW they are giving me advice (though still yet to actually get it but they say they are). No one said how ill he was. They seemed surprised such high mortality rate too. I've shared information from this far an wide as I wish I'd had it sooner. So many didn't realise just like me. I miss him :-(

 

[Shysmum]

It's ok and normal to feel angry. But that said, please understand he is at peace, grazing and healthy now... he would hate to see you not being able to let go. Your health is important. Yes, I've had vet's make mistakes too, but I honestly believe life is woven into a pattern, and it was his time to go.

And if education has come out of this tragedy, at least that's something, tho no help to you.

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.... be gentle on yourself. Consider letting go now, and letting yourself say goodbye.

 

[showaddy1]

I lost my mare last Thursday... I am devastated. Cried more tears over her than any human, or pet. I can appreciate that it's very early days... But the overwhelming sadness I feel actually physically hurts.
I can't offer any words of wisdom, but I can say you are not alone.
So sorry for your loss xx

 

[SarahsPonies]

I lost my mare last Thursday... I am devastated. Cried more tears over her than any human, or pet. I can appreciate that it's very early days... But the overwhelming sadness I feel actually physically hurts.
I can't offer any words of wisdom, but I can say you are not alone.
So sorry for your loss xx

So sorry for you too. Rubbish time of year as have felt I need to pick up and carry on even faster. Just miss him so so much xxx