MEN AND THERE LACK OF HORSE KNOWLEDGE LMAO

Love threads like these, so funny!

I once asked a then boyfriend to hold a horse for me whilst I nipped into the tackroom to grab something or other. I came back to find him standing there without the horse, not looking atall concerned. Wheres the horse? "Oh, he's gone for a walk over there"
Apparently the horse had started to move and walk off and he just let go, didn't actually realise that his role was to stay with it and make it stand still. I should have made that more clear apparently. I got rid of him (man not horse!!) soon after that, not least becuase he seemed a bit of a retard!!


Current OH tries hard but has little to no interest in the horses, which suits me fine as I work with them full time so time with my OH is strictly non horsey. Amongst other things I retrain racehorses, which he has grasped onto and run with - so every time I mention a competition he thinks we've gone racing. Which meant that when I had a ride judging appointment that took some explaining....
 
Husband of one of the liveries on our yard was helping out when she was sick. One morning, yard staff saw him turning the horse out in its fleece. YM gently suggested that maybe hubby should replace the fleece with a turnout rug. Hubby looked really confused and said he couldn't understand why he should do that - it wasn't raining, so the horse didn't need a 'raincoat' and he (hubby) was wearing a fleece so what was wrong with the horse wearing one too.
Bless...
 
These are hilarious...

My OH is non-horsey but generally pretty good at helping me out, so I often forget that he is totally non-horsey. I was therefore slightly suprised the other day when discussing how much it would cost for the children to have a pony, he queried whether my mare could have a foal, so that we could "keep it in her stable and the boys can ride it until it's big enough for you to ride"...ummm...no darling, not really!!
 
Whilst going out with a guy last year, Fergs chip fractured his radius. One night, my ex called me while I was sorting him out and asked me if his leg was immobilised. I was a bit tied up trying to control the beast and just said "no". He proceded to ramble on about how it didn't need to be immobilised as the radius isn't weight bearing in the horse *ramble,ramble,ramble*... I did interject a few times that he was talking nonsense but he was having none of it.

Oh you might think that's acceptable from a non-horsey boyfriend. It is. It's not bloody acceptable from a 4th year Vet student though :mad:
 
Auslander said:
I had one who knew nothing but managed to impress me anyway! I went out hacking, and came back to find that he had brought three in, washed their legs off, removed and hung up their rugs, and put stable rugs, complete with x-surcingles on, and picked out their feet!

I nearly fainted - and was hugely confused as to how he'd done everything perfectly well with no instructions. Turns out that he had spotted the skip full of hoof pickings, with a hoof pick in it - hence the feet being done, had hosed off their legs because he couldn't remember ever having seen a horse in my stables with muddy feet, and the rugs were easy apparently! He went and examined the ones who were already wearing night rugs, and carefully did the same to the ones he'd brought in. Try as I might - I couldn't find fault! He had brought them in with a rope round their necks, rather than trying headcollars, but to be fair, I did that too!
I'd have kept him, but he was irritatingly perfect in every other area of his life, and I couldnt deal with it!!
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Blimey, smart cookie. I'll have him :D
 
Just before Christmas went to tackshop/feed merc, bought feed and a pressie for my niece. Sent OH round to barn to collect feed while I went for a pee. Arrived at barn to find OH having staff looking high and low for 'Breyer foal set' feed! He thought it was a special baby food for my yearling! Didn't make the connection with the plastic horses he had just put in the car with Breyer printed all over them!
 
Caol Ila said:
My (now ex) boyfriend once said to me, "You have to watch this YouTube video. They've CGI'd a horse dancing. It really looks like it's dancing to the music. It's so funny!"

It was this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKQgTiqhPbw, Blu Hors Matinee's Grand Prix freestyle at the 2006 WEG.

I said, "You moron. It's a real horse, really doing dressage. And a rather excellent Grand Prix test, for that matter."

He answered, "But you do dressage and it doesn't look anything like that."

Ouch.
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LOL! I love this one.

I once asked my OH to bring (just turned 4YO) horse in from the field as I mucked out. He arrived back on the yard not many minutes later, with horse following. Good job horse is polite to lead, as the headcollar, though it WAS on the right way up, was only over one ear.......
 
These are HILARIOUS!
My ex-bf didn't get involved with the horses apart from sometimes coming with me to the yard when I was bringing in/turning out. One day I asked him to come with me because I was doing grid work and needed him to put up the fences. This went well.... Until, when I finished I got off and said I was going to put the jumps away so could he 'walk the horse around' for me to cool him off.
Walked away and turned around to see my bf walking in a tight circle around the horse.
He said he thought I said 'walk around the horse'.
No words can describe how much I laughed. I think the horse was laughing too.
 
I'm reminded of the time a work colleague bought a horsey magazine because it had a headline on the cover 'How to give your youngster the best start'....he had his son in mind - who was just starting to take riding lessons. He was a little disappointed.
I did giggle and he saw the funny side himself.
 
Clannad48 said:
When trying out a new horse for my daughter my OH came along to watch. The horse decided to throw a total hooley, all my daughter could do was hold on for grim death and keep it turning in a circle. Eventually the horse came to a stop and my daughter got off totally whitefaced - my OH said ' Is it normal to do that' Our friend just quietly said 'sometimes' not wanting my OH to think that all horses are dangerous. My OH then turned to my daughter and said "you looked like you were enjoying that"
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Reminds me of my Dad, after watching my friend's pony bolt down a road with me, sparks flying from his hooves: "I don't think it's a good idea to gallop on the road."

:rolleyes:
 
this thread is brilliant, kept me chuckling all the way through:D:D
it's not just men who can be totally dense though when it comes to horses, i was speaking to someone who has a couple of mini shetties, she had a lady come to see her TB who's up for loan, woman declares that it is abuse to have such small ponies and how did they make them so small!! shettie owner, who herself admits she's a little on the large side, told the woman that she made them small by sitting on them!!! very straight faced;) woman said really? you can do that?
needless to say dippy woman is not having TB on loan:)

OH has never done any thing daft regarding the horses, if he's unsure he knows to ask, usually along the lines of 'WTF you on about';)

I did have a builder ask why all the horses in the field were blindfolded:confused: ...they were wearing fly masks:D
 
I was at one of my first ever outings with my horse and doing Trec inhand. My horse was VERY excited and didn't want to be apart from the other horses. I had to walk across a huge field and he circled around me as we went across the whole field and I struggled to hold onto him as he called to the other horses.

My non horsey Dad had to come to watch and later said 'Izzy seemed to be having a lot of fun. Did you get extra marks for all his dancing about? No one else's horse seemed to be able to do that.' :D

No Dad. My horse is particularly talented.:rolleyes:
 
My OH was once helping me load my 16.2 ID - it is a horsebox which they walk straight into but then you have to turn them so they travel sideways.

My horse thinks it is great fun to, when you turn him round, just walk off the box! The problem being, that he knows exactly how strong he is and when he is coming of the box, he is coming of the box.

So, I was being pushed out the box by my horse as he was walking over me and my OH decided the best way to help was to try close the partition thus trapping me between him closing the partition and me being pushed through it by my ID. Ouch!

Needless to say after a few choice words, he hasn't done it again!

(honestly, he isn't normally this dense!!)
 
3bh said:
I once asked a then boyfriend to hold a horse for me whilst I nipped into the tackroom to grab something or other. I came back to find him standing there without the horse, not looking atall concerned. Wheres the horse? "Oh, he's gone for a walk over there"
Apparently the horse had started to move and walk off and he just let go, didn't actually realise that his role was to stay with it and make it stand still. I should have made that more clear apparently. I got rid of him (man not horse!!) soon after that, not least becuase he seemed a bit of a retard!!
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This has had me laughing out loud with tears in my eyes! Brilliant

Also the one where the boyfiend is trying to put a scoop of hoof supplement on each foot and the adlib hay question one are hilarious!
 
This is a great thread - havent laughed so much in ages.

My totally non horsey hubby rarely comes to the yard, however when I got my very round new cob, he offered to come and 'help' me! How could I refuse?
So cob tacked up, me on mounting block, I asked him to hold my stirrup ( was worried saddle would slip) and went to get on - sure enough saddle started to slip - 'are you holding the stirrup' I shrieked - 'yes ' came the answer - as he waved it in the air!!!!!
 
My OH is not horsey but he is quite keen on loved the little highland I was riding last year he used to come for hacks on foot with us and found it really funny when he ran off that she would try and jog after him I on the other hand did not :rolleyes:

He used to like the other horse I used to share and would come and groom him, they were surprisingly similar in personality. Said horse was in the stable and I went to make up his feed came back and they had they both looked at me with guilty faces. OH said they had been having a headbutting competition :eek::confused: he decided that if the horse could head but him he should do it back thankfully gently I mean the horse was 17.2 MW OH would definitely have lost :o
 
Many years ago, my dad and I went to enquire about riding lessons, my dad was asking the lady who owned the school how much riding lessons were, when she told him the price he said "thats cheap does that include the horse" Just imagined having a riding lesson running around the school pretending to be on a horse. I really did want the ground to open up and swallow me.:rolleyes:

Think it must run in the family, having taken my horsey on hols to my mums I had here stabled in the big shed, brother tells me the next morning how when he came home from the pub he went in shed to check on horse and for some unknown reason decided to put radio on, he said your horse dances to the music it was so funny everytime I turned it off she stopped, put it back on she was dancing away to the tunes. Oh dear my poor darling must have endured hours of him turning the radio on and off.:eek:
 
My dad was keeping an eye on me riding as a kid, pony and I had parted company in long grass, canter to halt to scratch his nose!
mum comes over, OMG what's happened... He says "have you seen her do that before? Really impressive". He was not allowed to supervise me anymore after that...

Mum is just as bad though.. Started riding again last year, asked her to hold my stirrup while I got on.. She comes around to my side, pushes my leg out of the way and holds my stirrup... Then gets quite offended when I burst into laughter. Bless them, they mean well!
 
Whilst mucking out, I asked bf if he wouldnt mind filling a haynet for me to hang...finished mucking out and still no haynet, so went to find him patiently pushing bits of hay thru the netholes!! saying "Now I know why it takes you so long down the stables filling these things" he looked very embarassed when I opened the top up! Bless :)
 
My OH is quite good but my friends is totally dense around the eeyores as he calls them. She asked if he could help her son while she helped her daughter he said he could put the front thing on but wasnt sure where the seat went. At a show a girl asked him to hold her horse (big 17hh ) while she went to the loo, he said ok but not sure it will still be here when you come out.

My brother was working at the smallholding one day and rang me at work to say something really wrong with one of the horses. Didnt question it just flew home, mare was in season and "talking " to the gelding over the fence. The noise she was making sounded a bit like an elephant and brother thought she was dying .
 
Whilst out hacking on my 4yr old nervous pony,OH came on foot to "help" me. We came across some fly tipped office chairs so i patiently tried to coax pony past them. OH said " no worries " picked them up and hurled them into the bushes, at that point i did a total spin and bolted in opposite direction!!!! OH just couldn't see what he did wrong !!!!!:rolleyes:
 
my brother rang me up one day to tell me there was a loose horse out. I asked him which one as I had one on box rest and paniced it could be him, his reply

the purple one............................................

pony was wearing a rug!!!
 
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