Pictures Mental Health and Horses.

[Shysmum]

You photo is lovely, it looks idyllic.

I am usually very resilient, but with mum's illness and subsequent death, my resilience has been eroded somewhat.

I found that with less resilience, and advancing age with creaky joints, that I wasn't enjoying my young sport horse any more. I still enjoyed getting out into the fresh air and doing chores, and over lockdown we hacked most days, but to do anything else was too much for me and she knew it and would have exploited my weakness. She was not mean, just a competition type who wanted to be out doing a job rather than being ridden half heartedly.

I had enough resilience left to realise that there is no point having a horse that no longer gives you joy, so sold her and bought little cob Rigsby. He is older and has a multitude of health issues. I actually said to people, who were astonished that I bought him, that I felt broken and had bought a horse who was also a bit broken, so we could get better together. Or, not get better, as I was prepared for him to simply be a companion if he didn't get fit enough to be a ridden horse.

He is fabulous, and yes, at the moment he is a great addition to my life. He loves to be ridden half heartedly or even just strolled round the lanes in hand. He is full of character, squeals with indignation if I don't do as he wishes, but somehow it is different. He is actually harder to keep that the posh sports horse, but simply makes me smile every day.

I have never been one to think that a horse 'has to' compete, however posh, but with Rigsby there is simply no pressure to ride, to compete (LOLs at the mere thought of him competing - at the moment at least) to do anything really.

I love how he is developing and changing. He is leaner, muscling up, learning to carry himself - so looks half a hand taller. We both think we are training the other

That's lovely ?

 

[Shysmum]

Glad they have helped so many people

I am however another one who is made worse by them. The time, the cost and other things.
It's probably influenced by my having fallen out of love with horse ownership, however mine is unsellable so we will just continue plodding on, I will be walking away from horse ownership after him, unless I win the lottery and can buy my own land with stables.

Sometimes it's quite nice to go for a blast down the fields but the joy is definitely gone and I'm no longer the horse crazy little girl I was for so many years

That's really sad, I feel for you. Horses are hard work even if you are enjoying them.

 

[Annagain]

Isn't everything I suppose. I'm focusing all on the potential negatives right now which of course there are plenty but I think the regret from NOT taking the risk is maybe worse. Like this "keep watching the sun rise and keep enjoying the warm breath and smell of hay " is honestly making me teary. I see my friend who has a currently unbroken 3yo getting him gently backed now, think about the amazing future they could have together and I want to cry I'm so glad for the pair of them. I see the "broken" horses at the sanctuary, permanently unsound, traumatised, ancient or just babies and already abandoned and just seeing them pottering about with their mates, enjoying their dinner and a good bum scratch and it just makes me happy that they're happy.

I don't want kids, I'm not particularly career driven so the time and the energy is there, (hypothetically for someone without brain problems). I have a supportive partner and a Dad who could, if worst came to worst, help me out financially. And really what the heck else am I going to do? Spend every evening until I shuffle off the mortal coil watching Netflix? ?

(Thank you for providing a therapy outlet, thread, I'm having a lot of feelings)

I don't have kids so maybe I'm talking out of my @r$£ but I imagine having horses and kids are similar. You're never truly ready to have them, there's never a right time or enough money and once they're here they cause you so much pain and worry....but the rewards are so much more.

 

[Shysmum]

Sorry to hear you have had a tough time shysmum. Some people really can be wicked, i just dont understand the pack mentality on livery yards. Its one of the reasons we bought our own place. So many nutters who just want to make other peoples lives miserable.
My daughter was bullied terribly while at school, but the one thing that kept her going was her horse/pony at the time. when she started secondary school she made friends with a group of girls who asked to see her pony. So she invited them round, they had a fabulous day. Lunch in the fields, pony rides , grooming etc etc. Then after that it was awful. They excluded her from everything, stopped others making friends with her and told her that they knew where her pony was now so they would kill him. She would come home and go straight to the yard and everything seemed so much better for her there. Shes now a fun loving,kind hearted and generous young lady and that is purely down to having her horse/pony to cuddle/kiss and fall off. Theres something about the smell of horses that just seems to make the world right again

Omg, my jaw just dropped reading that ! That's awful ?

 

[smolmaus]

I don't have kids so maybe I'm talking out of my @r$£ but I imagine having horses and kids are similar. You're never truly ready to have them, there's never a right time or enough money and once they're here they cause you so much pain and worry....but the rewards are so much more.

I've had that thought myself! If I announced I was pregnant tomorrow the reaction would be "About time, I knew you would change your mind" and you can't put a baby on full livery or sell them if you decide it's not for you!

 

[Shysmum]

Horses are so linked to my mental health. I’ve been addicted for as long as I can remember, and for the last 9 years have been so lucky to have had the perfect pony, and be able to ride, train, compete etc. Even when everything else in my life was awful, I always had the ponies. Now my ridden boy has gone, and it was 18 months of decline and despair. I’m probably the lowest I’ve been in a long time, don’t have the funds for another ridden horse so that whole part of my life has been snatched away and I miss both the riding, but mainly my boy, to the point where I am miserable. That said, my other little pony gives me a reason to get up in the morning. If I didn’t have him, I probably wouldn’t leave my bed at the moment. I’ll never give them up, and I know that the only way for me to truly feel better would be to get involved with another horse. Nothing gives my life purpose like having horses, and that’s why I feel so sad. Now my main pony has gone, I feel that my life’s purpose has dwindled again and I can’t yet see the brighter future. I’m going through the motions with my little pony, to make sure he is looked after and nothing changes for him, but I have to admit that some of the joy has gone. It’s very much a labour of love.

I'm so sorry ?

 

[Shysmum]

my 3yo to back this year is on 3 legs today! doing pus dance

Oh no ?

 

[spotty_pony]

Yes and no. They give me something to get up and do everyday but they cause me a lot of stress financially. I have theee and as
muxh as I love them all I would love to go
Back to just having the one. They are also all veterans so I don't really get to really enjoy my riding anymore but feel I owe it to them to give them a good life until the end.

 

[skint1]

For me, my horses are fundamental to my mental health because they give me a focus and a reason to get up in the morning, be active and outside and be present. I used to enjoy riding although I was never very good but eventually my anxiety unpicked that for me and I haven't even sat on a horse for a year, last time I did, was my mare and she bucked me off.

Although I enjoy looking after them the fact that I am not riding makes me feel like such a failure and I feel like I have ruined the lives of my horses although both have soundness issues, one is retired (though he's doing really well now and I sort of wonder if he might hold up to the odd ponder round the farm) and the other definitely needs physio work to get to a point she could be ridden comfortably and even then will only ever be a hack (which is fine by me) she never gave me the impression she enjoyed being ridden (by me anyway) I actually don't even have a saddle right now, that's how much I am not right riding. I do little bits in hand with them, my mare enjoys going out for walks but I haven't done this recently, I am in survival mode. I know friends who live to ride wonder why I bother having them, and some days I wonder that myself, what am I trying to achieve, if anything?

As for livery yards, I think they can be a mixed blessing. Mine on the whole is good, but of course there are times its difficult for me personally for a variety of reasons that are no one's fault but my own and I just want to disappear.

 

[Dreamer2020]

This is a really good thread Shysmum and your photo is lovely. I'm really glad your horses help you so much and that you've found your happy place. Reading all the posts helped me feel less alone and conflicted in a funny way. I lost my boy 2 years ago and haven't got another horse yet. My heart says yes and head says no. Whether it's because I don't believe I'll be as close to another horse as I was to him I don't know ... or whether it's because I can't face the livery yard drama.

That said, in answer to your question, he really helped my mental health and I'd be a different person today had it not been for the 12 years he was in my life. I have depression and lost my partner in a road accident just before I got him and he brought me back into the world and I found my smile again. We fixed each other I guess ... he was a rescue and so was I in a way! When I look back, there was the, I guess, constant low level anxiety of him hurting himself (he was an accident prone and delicate thoroughbred bless him) but that never outweighed the enrichment of having him in my life. Since I lost him I have more money and time, but not a clue what to do with it to be honest.

To steal a quote from a Patrick Swayze / Keanu Reeves film Point Break (it's great if you've never watched it) ... for me horses are that place "where you lose yourself and you find yourself". I agree with others in that they are like a drug ... I couldn't imagine a life without horses in it in some form. I wish you peace and keep enjoying your boys and the lovely life you have found. I've found this forum great to still at least feel horsey by checking in with what everyone is talking about xx

 

[huskydamage]

Horses are my heroin ? seriously though if Ive had a griefy day at work etc going for a ride, doing some yard work or even just watching them mooch about is essential. People think I am laid back but I have a tendacy to be very anxious inside and have high blood pressure because of it. My horses are very much a de-stress thing for me, even if they are being hyped up or silly themselves, having to concentrate on them helps me re-focus and stop worrying about other crap. I find I have to be in a good chilled out mood to get on with them best, so it helps me re-set if I'm stessed out.
I am renting on my own for the first time after always being on livery and although I do miss chatting with people, it is much more relaxing and peaceful place to be

 

[milliepops]

I am renting on my own for the first time after always being on livery and although I do miss chatting with people, it is much more relaxing and peaceful place to be

yes, i am the only livery where I am now, and it's really lovely, I am in touch with some ex-livery mates and my new YO is a normal person, so it's ideal really.


Pus dance from earlier has worked, so currently whizzing back up the emotional rollercoaster

 

[Cinnamontoast]

Don’t think I have mh issues but I can empathise re horrible livery yards. I’ve bee on a couple and the bitchiness can be horrific. Fortunately, bar the occasional annoyance, i love the yard I’m on, everyone is very supportive and I wasn’t able to get up at all last week (on crutches and my oh was self-isolating). A fellow livery stepped up and looked after my horse. When I had the big accident, similarly, a few mates just split jobs between them. I would have put him on full livery otherwise, but having people who knew him was nicer.

 

[Littlebear]

I would say 90% brilliant for mental health, total escapism from normal life and normal problems. This is with the caveat that your horse doesn't break down as then this will create mental health problems (losing a horse was the only real depression I have ever had) and you need to be a tough cookie to survive a lot of livery yards, without getting involved or caught up or offended by the inevitable know it all's that lurk where you least expect them

 

[Flame_]

Owning horses can fill so many voids...

No friends.. Who cares if you've got other liveries with things in common to talk to.
Live in an urban sh!thole... Who cares if you go out into the countryside and hang round in fields every day.
No kids or dependents to make you feel needed... Who cares if you've always got starving, impatient horses waiting for you.
Bored because everything is shut and there's nothing to do... Who cares if you can always go and take a horse for a walk or a ride.
Considering alcoholism/ drug abuse/ self harm to numb your way through winter... No chance of heading down that path when you've got to stay functional to take care of the horses, plus you can't afford the first two options.
No holiday plans or anything to look forwards to... Who cares, there'll be horse events happening in the not too distant future to look forwards to.
Unhappy marriage or relationship... Who cares, your horse is there as a constant however your personal life is making you feel.

Horses are great. They should be available on prescription so we wouldn't all end up with different psychological issues from the stress about the cost.

 

[Shysmum]

Took this silly video this morning out on our hack. We may not be able to live the high life, but I have everything I need, including a wonderfully supportive hubby (and shrink ?)

Watch "Just A Gentle Hack in Creuse ?" on YouTube

 

[Shysmum]

Owning horses can fill so many voids...

No friends.. Who cares if you've got other liveries with things in common to talk to.
Live in an urban sh!thole... Who cares if you go out into the countryside and hang round in fields every day.
No kids or dependents to make you feel needed... Who cares if you've always got starving, impatient horses waiting for you.
Bored because everything is shut and there's nothing to do... Who cares if you can always go and take a horse for a walk or a ride.
Considering alcoholism/ drug abuse/ self harm to numb your way through winter... No chance of heading down that path when you've got to stay functional to take care of the horses, plus you can't afford the first two options.
No holiday plans or anything to look forwards to... Who cares, there'll be horse events happening in the not too distant future to look forwards to.
Unhappy marriage or relationship... Who cares, your horse is there as a constant however your personal life is making you feel.

Horses are great. They should be available on prescription so we wouldn't all end up with different psychological issues from the stress about the cost.

Excellent post!

 

[cheekywelshie]

Yes and no. Yes over the summer he kept me sane. Then colic and surgery in November left me stressed just after starting a new job and I for the first post op month I was absolutely shattered going up three times a day. I still do everything myself and I am completely wiped out and with worry, whether it’s has he eaten pooed drank any water etc or like today if I have to turn him out and others aren’t out yet but I need to get to work,he starts trotting around and whinnying and the last thing I need after a 10k vet bill is a ligament injury so every day is quite stressful tbh! Worse as I haven’t seen my family in over a year apart from two days in June so have a few wobbles over that- normally I’d go for a ride but my horsey time is filing and soaking nets and mucking out mainly!

 

[cauda equina]

So sorry about the ongoing stress cheekywelshie
He's done amazingly well!

 

[Mule]

When my mood dips, I get comfort from sitting with them, giving them a hug or just listening to them munching hay. Even if I'm just a bit irritated, mucking out improves my mood. It may be due to endorphins from exercise or maybe because of not thinking because of focusing on a task.

 

[cauda equina]

Mindless toil of any sort can be very therapeutic
Mucking out is good in that it has to be done, unlike things like digging the garden which can be put off

 

[Muddywellies]

Yes my horse helps enormously. But what DIDN'T help was the pressure of competitions. With hindsight, they really didn't do me any favours. I really crumble under the pressure and find it all truly terrifying (although I managed to drag myself up as far as affiliated elementary). So I'm not missing competing in the slightest.

 

[Sail_away]

For me it’s not just that horses benefit my mental health at the time but that they give me a tangible future to work towards. Today, right now, they’re stressing me! My first horse is broken at 11, we’ve had to sort retirement livery, moving yards, taking shoes off etc. And watching him lose muscle and fitness that we’d built up. But he’s not my last horse, and I’m able to look back and see that we had some fabulous times, we achieved a lot, and I can do it all again with another horse, and improve on it.
So that’s what horses have given me, personally. The perspective to go, yesterday was bad, today was bad, tomorrow is likely to be the same, but it has been better and it will get better.

 

[Shysmum]

Yes my horse helps enormously. But what DIDN'T help was the pressure of competitions. With hindsight, they really didn't do me any favours. I really crumble under the pressure and find it all truly terrifying (although I managed to drag myself up as far as affiliated elementary). So I'm not missing competing in the slightest.

Competing? What's that? !!