Mums with babies and horses

[now_loves_mares]

Can you take him with you to poo pick and feed the horses? Then that would free time up for you to ride if your OH has him then? With regard bf, I don't have any advice on that as I bottle fed from birth (for that reason mainly, though also because I really didn't want to bf anyway). Your OH must have some days off, can he not have your son for a few hours so you can ride each week?

I take DS with me 4 days of the working week, and DH works at home one day when he keeps him in the house before he starts work. But DS hates being stuck in the car not moving so I avoid it if I possibly can. DH works 5 days so it would only be weekends, and yes I could ride; but if I say spend an hour a day doing horse chores, and DH gets an hour a day to go running or cycling, then our time is up! That said, now that the better weather is here I will get cracking with weekend riding, but realistically that's all it's going to be. I'm actually going to be able to ride more when I go back to work. I can work at home 2 days a week and my lunch hours will be hacking!

ETS - DH also does every single bathtime when he gets home from work so I can go back out and feed horses at night, so he's doing a good share.

 

[Palindrome]

I have a 2 and half year old and a 2 month old. No family to help other than my OH so with my 1st one I would ride one day at the week end and have the other day as a family day. Horse was living out in a herd in a massive field so only needed to be checked on which I would do with my son sleeping in the car or in the sling (Velcro baby like Booboo's). For the second child I have put the horse on part livery and we all go once at the weekend to check on her. I haven't ridden for 8 months but that's ok with me, babies are only babies for a short time. I don't want to give up my horse but not putting undue pressure for riding as I barely have time to get a shower as it is .

 

[GemG]

I have a 2 and half year old and a 2 month old. No family to help other than my OH so with my 1st one I would ride one day at the week end and have the other day as a family day. Horse was living out in a herd in a massive field so only needed to be checked on which I would do with my son sleeping in the car or in the sling (Velcro baby like Booboo's). For the second child I have put the horse on part livery and we all go once at the weekend to check on her. I haven't ridden for 8 months but that's ok with me, babies are only babies for a short time. I don't want to give up my horse but not putting undue pressure for riding as I barely have time to get a shower as it is .

Good advice.

Turn out as much as possible, preferably 24/7 !

Forget about super clean tack/ horse etc.

Don't kick self for not riding.

Get help if you can!

Ideally have a horse you can pick up and ride or leave for months without it losing the plot.

Some find it easier than others. i have found it tricky at times, more frustration than anything else. This is normal. I have to ask my mum to help enough as it is with me working, I would feel too guilty to ask so I could ride too.

Breastfeeding limits your ability to leave baby with someone for more than a very short time at first certainly, but saying that I don't regret that. I did on demand bf with both children and where there's a will, there's a way.

Babies aren't little for long and soon.i will have more time - the horses will wait and one day I will be back faffing for hours with them!

 

[Jingleballs]

I agree with a lot of what has been said - lowering your expectations, learning to deal with the guilt, having an easy horse and also just being able to drop everything and go to the yard when you get the slightest chance.

I find having a set routine also helps and paying for services if you can. My little girl is 15 months, I work 35 - 40 hours a week and on a good week I'm at the yard 3 evenings (mon, wed & friday) and 1 day at the weekend. On a bad week I'm not there at all. Horse lives out and is checked/fed/rugged etc daily by the yard owner. She brings him in for me a couple of evenings a week so that I just have to groom/exercise him and then feed and turn out again.

Last week my little girl was teething, my partner and mum were both unwell so I was up once. A couple of weeks ago I exercised him 4 times within the week including 2 lovely hacks.

It can be hard in winter to motivate yourself once you've been working all day then wallked the dog, made dinner, sorted the wee one but I find if I force myself to go to the yard I do enjoy it.

 

[Katastrophy]

I'm not managing well, tbh. My LO is 3 months, I had a hard labour, a fair few stitches and lost a lot of blood. For weeks the idea of mucking out (and in fact driving to the yard at all!) was like torture- my dad has been a godsend and has been up day in day out to muck out, get them in mid afternoon in the bad weather and change rugs etc. My loaner and rider have picked up the other chores and I've popped in and out when I could. My heart isn't in it. I'm not a pleasure rider, or a happy hacker, I've been aiming my homebred at National Driving Trials since before he was born (he's now rising 7). I was competing him at the National Champs last year 6 months gone! Just to keep him fit is a couple of hours a day, 10-12 mile rides and drives, and 5-6 mile fast work rides alongside ridden and driven schooling. After three months of tears and heartache, I've been diagnosed with mild PND and for the first time in my life I'm taking tablets. I hate how I feel, he's such a huge part of who I am and I can't bring myself to do anything at all with him, even when I do have cover for LO.
For now, I have taken a lovely friend up on a kind offer and turned him away in her field. He went out last week and I still feel like if I don't ever see a horse again it'll be too soon. It's most likely the PND speaking, but I'm not sure. Sorry! Not what you need to hear, I'm sure! Xx

 

[Palindrome]

Big hugs Katastrophy and hope you feel better soon.

 

[pippixox]

I'm not managing well, tbh. My LO is 3 months, I had a hard labour, a fair few stitches and lost a lot of blood. For weeks the idea of mucking out (and in fact driving to the yard at all!) was like torture- my dad has been a godsend and has been up day in day out to muck out, get them in mid afternoon in the bad weather and change rugs etc. My loaner and rider have picked up the other chores and I've popped in and out when I could. My heart isn't in it. I'm not a pleasure rider, or a happy hacker, I've been aiming my homebred at National Driving Trials since before he was born (he's now rising 7). I was competing him at the National Champs last year 6 months gone! Just to keep him fit is a couple of hours a day, 10-12 mile rides and drives, and 5-6 mile fast work rides alongside ridden and driven schooling. After three months of tears and heartache, I've been diagnosed with mild PND and for the first time in my life I'm taking tablets. I hate how I feel, he's such a huge part of who I am and I can't bring myself to do anything at all with him, even when I do have cover for LO.
For now, I have taken a lovely friend up on a kind offer and turned him away in her field. He went out last week and I still feel like if I don't ever see a horse again it'll be too soon. It's most likely the PND speaking, but I'm not sure. Sorry! Not what you need to hear, I'm sure! Xx

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time I really hope your PND improves. I have suffered from depression in the past and it was the one time I didn't even want to look at a horse when I was so ill I was a shell. but in the end it was horses who helped me so much with my mood.
I am expecting my first baby at the end of August. Still doesn't really fill real! I have 4 horses, an 18 yo ex-racer happy hacker, a 13 yo mare who was working a lot last summer and 2 new forest ponies I backed last summer. this summer they will all be on holiday and then all winter probably due to new baby! I still don't really have a clear plan, other than the fact I wont be getting rid of any of them. But somehow we will manage.

 

[lucky7]

I have 4 children, the older 2 are both at school, one is 12 the other almost 11. The younger ones are 3 and the baby is 9 months, i work from home 3 days per week (self employed) so lucky i can be flexible. The horses i have had through 2 pregnancies and my 2nd baby! i just turn them both away. At the moment they are turned away due to weather and its easy as they both live out (natives). My routine is going to see them once per day around 5pm, parking outside the gate, chucking hay and a feed in. However now its getting lighter and spring is coming am eager to ride again. Last rode before xmas (one has been turned away for 2 years due to injury but now sound) started in about august (baby was born early june) OH looked after baby which was difficult as he is breastfed so left him with expressed milk for max of 2 hours which gave me chance to get out and ride a few evenings a week or over the weekend. Planning on riding again now and bringing the injury one back into work. The little ones go to nursery 2 days per week and will be 3 after easter, will just finish off work a bit earlier when i can and fit in some horsey time!! of a weekend partner will have them for a few hours so i can get out a bit. Family live 90 mile away so only have partner and sometimes his dad (grandad) will take the toddler but not the baby!
I know people who have 1 child and go to nursery full time, have lots of help and support around them yet still cant find the time to ride.
Its one of those things, if you really want it to work you will find time for it

 

[wills_91]

I'm not managing well, tbh. My LO is 3 months, I had a hard labour, a fair few stitches and lost a lot of blood. For weeks the idea of mucking out (and in fact driving to the yard at all!) was like torture- my dad has been a godsend and has been up day in day out to muck out, get them in mid afternoon in the bad weather and change rugs etc. My loaner and rider have picked up the other chores and I've popped in and out when I could. My heart isn't in it. I'm not a pleasure rider, or a happy hacker, I've been aiming my homebred at National Driving Trials since before he was born (he's now rising 7). I was competing him at the National Champs last year 6 months gone! Just to keep him fit is a couple of hours a day, 10-12 mile rides and drives, and 5-6 mile fast work rides alongside ridden and driven schooling. After three months of tears and heartache, I've been diagnosed with mild PND and for the first time in my life I'm taking tablets. I hate how I feel, he's such a huge part of who I am and I can't bring myself to do anything at all with him, even when I do have cover for LO.
For now, I have taken a lovely friend up on a kind offer and turned him away in her field. He went out last week and I still feel like if I don't ever see a horse again it'll be too soon. It's most likely the PND speaking, but I'm not sure. Sorry! Not what you need to hear, I'm sure! Xx

Keep your chin up. I also had a tough labour, suffered a tear (3rd degree) & had PND, it's not good. But it will get easier take each day as it comes.


I ended up putting my horse on full livery, son will be 4 next week & I've only recently just put her back onto part livery. It depends entirely on your pregnancy/birth, your baby and your horse! Manageable for some but not all - I had a tough labour, terrible tear requiring surgery then suffered for months. There is no way I could have looked after my horse on diy

 

[tallyho!]

I found somewhere with 24/7 AMAZING turnout.... THAT is the KEY to an easy life with baby human and baby horse

 

[Moomin1]

I'm not managing well, tbh. My LO is 3 months, I had a hard labour, a fair few stitches and lost a lot of blood. For weeks the idea of mucking out (and in fact driving to the yard at all!) was like torture- my dad has been a godsend and has been up day in day out to muck out, get them in mid afternoon in the bad weather and change rugs etc. My loaner and rider have picked up the other chores and I've popped in and out when I could. My heart isn't in it. I'm not a pleasure rider, or a happy hacker, I've been aiming my homebred at National Driving Trials since before he was born (he's now rising 7). I was competing him at the National Champs last year 6 months gone! Just to keep him fit is a couple of hours a day, 10-12 mile rides and drives, and 5-6 mile fast work rides alongside ridden and driven schooling. After three months of tears and heartache, I've been diagnosed with mild PND and for the first time in my life I'm taking tablets. I hate how I feel, he's such a huge part of who I am and I can't bring myself to do anything at all with him, even when I do have cover for LO.
For now, I have taken a lovely friend up on a kind offer and turned him away in her field. He went out last week and I still feel like if I don't ever see a horse again it'll be too soon. It's most likely the PND speaking, but I'm not sure. Sorry! Not what you need to hear, I'm sure! Xx

It isn't easy to start with. I know exactly what you mean. I had a terrible traumatic labour and had stitches for two tears. I also had to move my mare to a new yard two weeks after I gave birth and my mare is such a stress head that she was a nightmare. I remember a few days after I moved her there, I had a call to say she had got her haynet caught around her legs (the haynet had snapped dropping to the floor, and somehow she then stepped inside of it and got it underneath both front shoes, tying her front legs together completely. She was dripping with sweat when I got there, and I literally had such a panic attack (not something I would ever have done previously), that I chucked the leadrope at my instructor (well, not literally at him, but to him lol) and drove off. My poor instructor was left stood there with my horse having to deal with the issue. Never in a million years would I have done that normally, but I felt so overwhelmed and out of my depth coping with everything I just wanted to run away.