My girl was PTS!

ExpressPrincess

ExpressPrincess

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I was woken up by a call from my panicked YO this morning she could not say what was going on but that i needed to get to the yard now. I raced up to the yard to find my mare on her feet in the field but with a horrifically broken left leg, it was so so horrible, blood everywhere and the cannon bone coming through the skin I’m not a squeamish person (I’m a nurse!) but i just wanted to be sick and could not concentrate and could not even remember the address of the yard or who i was insured with when I called the vet.

Vet was great, calm and comforting when she arrived and put her straight to sleep with sedation beforehand and was as peaceful as you could hope for but did take her nearly 1.5hours for her to get there!

I’m so distressed and haunted by the whole thing i don’t think i can even express it in words. It was not just what i saw my mare go through but my helplessness and inability to do anything to help her it was truly horrific I’m sorry to share the details but I don’t know who to talk to yard owner is just as traumatised as we dealt with it together.

Please tell me it gets better with time.
 
oh god. I am so sorry. Lots of love and hugs coming your way.

It will get better - the day we lost Daisy I thought , when I went to check on her at 7am, that she had broken her neck in the field and ran for my life - Mum (who owned her) was in the USA so I had to sort her out and drive her to the surgery where she sadly didn't make it (her small intenstine had packed up). I couldn't go in that field for ages, and only recently could bear looking at all the messages people left for her - we had her 10 years and was the kindest horse. It will get better.

I'm so sorry for you.
 
That must of been awful to see, I am so sorry you had to go through it. I luckily have no experience of loosing a horse but have lost my childhood dog last year who was my best friend. I had never lost anybody important to me before so i didnt really know how to deal with it. I found the first 3 days were awful, I'd cry about everything but then it slowly got easier
 
oh good grief,how tragic. Dont really know what to say, but sounds traumatic .

Hopefully youre horse would have been in shock and not felt too much pain. Do you have any idea what happened. ?

i know its not the same but im a nurse too,and normally sensible .my horse died of a heart attack with me present and i just went to pieces.total mess for a few weeks. You will be in shock for a while,hope you have some good friends or family if not use all of us.....
 
I am really sorry and what a hugely unpleasant shock to you as well. Try not to dwell on what might have been/what you feel you should have done/how you would have wanted things to go... that only torments you and prolongs this awful feelings. Your mare is not in any pain now, that part is behind you. You will be grieving for a long time and I find its best to share this with people who love animals the way you do. The last thing you want is an individual who looks at you blankly and says "but its only a xxx"

You don't forget, you learn to live around it but you will be crying and tearful and easily upset for quite a while. That is normal but there will be a day when you will be able to remember the lovely times you shared with your mare and not just the ending.
 
I am so sorry for you - I have been through exactly this a few years ago with my daughter's TB. She had been riding it literally minutes before he went down - he started napping and was obviously in pain and feeling the bone break. His break was above the hock and absolutely horrific. I had been praying for the several minutes he went down - not realising his leg was broken for him to get up and live! I thought he had had a heart attack.
When he got up and I saw his poor leg swinging I was hysterical. I would love to say I handled the situation well, but I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to be there when he was pts.
Our boy kept racing around the field and I was too horrified to even sit on his neck when he went down a couple of time to keep him down - I found the whole situation terrifying and unreal and all I did was holler and cry.
Our vet took an hour to come - it was a freezing cold day. I would always now call more than one vet in such a situation, but nothing prepares you for such an emergency.
My only consolation was that the vet said that the adrenaline will have stopped our horse feeling much of the pain.

Don't over analyse the situation would be my advice - it is really the most horrific thing that could happen to a horse for the owner. So so sorry for you - :( Time is a great healer. Remember your good times together.
 
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I am so sorry for your loss i cant even begin to imagine what you are going through. Its strange that as i have got older i am more and more scared that something like what you have gone through will happen and it almost puts me off doing anything involving riding/competing im a nervouss wreck thinking about it. There will be a day when your at peace with it all and can see the light at the end of the tunnell...and eventually you may come to terms with it all and even find yourself a new special friend in a horse.....dont be put of by this experience even though it is hugely traumatic for you. i hope you have lots of lovely friends around you. keep your chin up she is at peace now x
 
I am so so sorry to read this, you must be in a state of shock, do not try to analyse the situation and do not put any blame on yourself or your YO.

I really don't know what to say that could bring any comfort to you other than I am very sorry for your loss.
 
How horrendous - I really am very sorry to read this. I agree that your poor horse was probably full of adrenalin (as you would know being a nurse) - and felt little of the pain, but I realize that is little consolation at this time.

I hope your pain and heartache will ease with time..
 
so so sorry to hear about your loss.

I hope it gets easier over time, I have been with my friend and her horses when she has had 2 of them pts ! not even my horses and I was a mess for days but it did get easier for her (and me) over time. hopefully soon you will be remembering all the good times and the images of what happened will start to fade

Hugs xxx
 
Oh my word my thoughts are with you. It really does get better, I lost my first horse after a horrific field accident & I grieved for a very long time. Your family and friends will help you through :)

SS x
 
Oh my god! What a terrible shock for you! I am so sorry. I really don't know any words that will comfort you, other than what others have said. My thoughts are with you at this awful time. I know its really hard but try to remember the good times, easier said than done at this dreadful time for you I know. I am just so sorry for you. Just don't know what to say to make you feel better xx
 
Oh Lord! What an awful shock for you. I am so sorry to read that. It's bad enough losing them when you have a chance to prepare yourself. Poor girl. At least you had a vigilant yard owner and you could be with her as soon as possible. Not much comfort, I know and wish I could offer more...:(
 
Thank you to everyone for your kind words,

I am already thinking of the good times and the amusingly bad times like the time when she broke free when was I tacking her up and ended up in her field with her saddle on and it took 2 hours for the yard owner and me to get hold of her again because she didn’t like the look of a dog walker! Ha ha, But all with allot of fondness.

It’s all the little things at the moment that are making it hit home, i was thinking in the car on the way back that she never got to wear her new showbridle and browband that i had saved up for and that I recently collected all her winter rugs cleaned and reproofed and put them back in the rug box ready for this winter, her feeds are all made up and waiting for her in the feed room, I had contacted someone via facebook about some turnout socks and she came back to me just this afternoon and just 3 weeks ago i won a competition with feedmark for a tub of supplement by putting the best caption about my mare, she had new shoes on Saturday and the farrier commented on how well her feet were coming along nicely and the equine dentist was booked for tomorrow. So many little things to deal with its all so hard to come to terms with :( - i feel awful as well as found myself looking at a friend’s horse earlier which has just gone up for sale! Did not even really realise what I was doing until I was staring at the pictures of him! I feel like such a bad person to even be contemplating it so soon although even with everything I fully intend to get another one it won’t be for a while. :(
 
Hi there!

Really sorry to read this, I lost my oldie a few years ago.

Try and keep yourself busy if poss, it does get better with time and unfortunately, as you know, these things do happen more than you think.

Hugs xxx
 
So sorry for your loss :(

Dont feel guilty for those thoughts, it's not that you don't care or love her any less, you are just starting to grieve and come to terms with it. We all grieve in different ways.

Hope your okay and look after yourself x
 
I'm so sorry for your loss :-(

I went through a similar experience when just starting to hack out with a friend one day and her horse spooked and threw her off. She kept hold of the reins and was also using draw reins and this pulled the saddle back which then spun underneath her. She then bolted and jumped a fence into a field and the saddle literally shattered her leg into pieces. I got to her almost straight away and stayed with her to the end. Like you, the vet took an age to come out but the little mare was so calm and although usually hyper just stood there eating the grass and carrots I was feeding her. I really do think that the adrenaline kicks in and they can't truly feel it.

I understand the feeling of helplessness but over time you'll come to understand that you were there with her when it mattered and offered her comfort and companionship when she needed it.

It does get easier - it just takes time.

(((hugs)))
 
The same thing happened to my mare nearly 6 years ago now. Turned her out as usual and at lunch time at work I got a call to say that Holly had broken her leg in the field. Like your horse, her bone came through though I didnt see it. Vet was very quick to attend and she was covered with her rug apart from her face by the time I got there from work. It was traumatic and I was devastated. Time does heal, it really does and it is right that the adrenalin means they dont feel the pain in the same way. She was my beautiful girl and she was only 7yrs old, just coming along well in her training and we had some fabulous times together.

I dont know why but I wasnt long before I got another horse so dont feel bad for finding yourself looking before you think you should. Everyone is different in these situations.

Take care and remember the special times you shared. PM me if you feel it would help. xx
 
Yes it does get better with time. I've lost four - all in a row, one after the other in the space of 6 3/4 years and it was difficult. Each were in different circumstances, the first one was three weeks in hospital but couldn't be saved (open fetlock joint), the second one was a broken leg in the field, the third my horse dropped down dead of a heart attack in his field, the four had wobblers at 10 years of age and had to be pts. But you do cope and you go on to get another horse, and remember the good times eventually and forget about the bad. I wish you luck xx
 
HingeFarm said:
I was woken up by a call from my panicked YO this morning she could not say what was going on but that i needed to get to the yard now. I raced up to the yard to find my mare on her feet in the field but with a horrifically broken left leg, it was so so horrible, blood everywhere and the cannon bone coming through the skin I’m not a squeamish person (I’m a nurse!) but i just wanted to be sick and could not concentrate and could not even remember the address of the yard or who i was insured with when I called the vet.

Vet was great, calm and comforting when she arrived and put her straight to sleep with sedation beforehand and was as peaceful as you could hope for but did take her nearly 1.5hours for her to get there!

I’m so distressed and haunted by the whole thing i don’t think i can even express it in words. It was not just what i saw my mare go through but my helplessness and inability to do anything to help her it was truly horrific I’m sorry to share the details but I don’t know who to talk to yard owner is just as traumatised as we dealt with it together.

Please tell me it gets better with time.
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Its because she was yours, if it had been someone elses you would have coped better, this happened to my friends horse, I was first to go up to him in the field as he wasn't moving, I stayed strong for my friend, and went to pieces after he was put to sleep.

Its VERY traumatic, I get upset talking about it now and he wasn't mine and this was some years ago

My thoughts are with you, just be comforted that she isn't in any pain now, but was unfortunately taken from you too soon x
 
What an awful thing to happen, I'm so sad for you. Don't feel guilty about looking at other horses. When I had to have my old horse (who I'd had for 20 yrs) PTS just before Christmas, I put one of my other horses in her stable so I didn't see her stable empty.
 
I am so very sorry.

It will get better with time, until then be kind to yourself & let yourself grieve x
 
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